Average Joe and the Extraordinaires

by Belart Wright

  I also want to thank Michael Holladay the man behind this very cover design. He was so nice to not charge me anything but the cover was so good that I felt compelled to pay him, even when he objected, multiple times. I can be surprisingly persuasive when it comes to blowing my own money.

  Special thanks also to my friends and extended family Al, Pete, Mike, Tamara, Dalia, Christy, Deanthony, Jason, Amir, Brittney, Krystal, Greg, Joe, Justin, Willis, Michelle, Mo, Thony, Solomon, Sydni, Twuana, Shacola, Heather, Renae, Earl, Earl Jr., Jasmine, and Zaynab. All of you have inspired me at some point throughout the years (and probably distracted me from writing at the same damn time.) Without you characters in my life I don't think the heart and soul of these books would be the same. To quote a great T.V. theme song, “thank you for being a friend.”

  Average Joe and the Extraordinaires

  Extras

  Fun Facts and Story Changes

  -Average Joe and the Extraordinaires was originally going to deal with Joe, a normal kid taking on an evil corporation that wanted to bulldoze his neighborhood and take over the land. Joe was originally going to have to rally his neighborhood together and convince them all that this conspiracy was going on. After I added more supernatural elements, the plot changed slightly to accommodate that and expanded beyond the initial concept but it still was nowhere near the plot of what this book turned into. For plot reasons (because some of these elements are still in the sequel) I can't really reveal what the second "draft" of AJ turned into but for the planned sequel I may reveal more of that draft but at this point it's not all that important.

  -Fleez and Dozz were not originally planned to be in the story until the very chapter I wrote them in. After that, they took on a life of their own and were so Badd Azz that I was forced to write more of them.

  -Joe purposely has no physical description. I originally wanted him to look like me (though I'm in no way average) then I wanted him to be a typical brown haired kid until I realized that average is mostly affected by our own perceptions. My average is not your average. So Joe's canon appearance is that of the reader, since a lot of people may identify with Joe’s values. Or Joe may look like whatever the reader considers average. I’m curious as to how you imagined Joe.

  -Joe was originally going to be older along with Kate. Both were going to be roughly 19 – 20 and in college. Even when I de-aged Joe and Kate I was going to keep Dahlila in her twenties but decided instead to put her closer to Joe's age. She's still older though.

  -Some elements that appear in this story come from my first (yet to be released) novel Hell Warriors. The term for magic (craftes) as well as how it is implemented comes from that story. The use of an arcade/children's entertainment center in one of the action scenes also appears in both.

  -Dahlila was originally to be kidnapped with Melissa towards the end of the novel. She’s too tough for that Damsel act though.

  -Average Joe is an experiment for me. None of my other stories have featured a main character so physically weak and uninformed. It was a challenge writing that and keeping him relatively capable even amidst all these extraordinary people. I still don't fully know if I fully struck that balance but I feel I did a good job overall.

  -If you didn't know, Orangetown is based on an archetypal small town in Florida. It is entirely fictional.

  -I first added the clock tower in the scene where Joe first finds Mod there. Initially Joe found Mod at the Malington's house where Mod was wallowing in self-pity. The rest of the scene is virtually unchanged except for the lyrics of the song the boys sing. Like Fleez and Dozz, the clock tower was so awesome that it took on a life and mystique of its own and became an integral part of the story.

  -Originally the rap song Joe and Mod sang was Scarface's "Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta." I changed it because I didn't want to put in any explicit lyrics and there was no way I was going to water down the lyrics just to fit my story. Great song btw!

  -Average Joe originally had a comedic narrator telling the story because I thought a story with a main character that I considered "boring" would need sprucing up. Joe eventually grew into someone that I found interesting and thus the need for that obtrusive narrator became unnecessary. I stuck with the comedic narrator idea until chapter 8. The narrator had some funny bits and I planned to include some chapters with his thoughts on the story as far as he had read it but the idea was creatively taxing and began to feel like I was writing two separate stories. I'm not the most confident in my comedic writing either so all in all I had enough ammo to scrap that whole idea. Though in the future (in another story) I may use it again, who knows?

  -I found out that mannerable wasn't a real word as I was writing a few of the Villain View interludes. I decided to use it anyway because I don't feel like using "well mannered" to describe someone I consider mannerable. I've gone my whole life believing mannerable to be a real word and I will continue that delusion stubbornly.

  -We've only scratched the surface of this crazy story called Average Joe. There's much more on the way. This tale goes far deeper!

  Alternate/Deleted Scenes

  (Narrator Hates My Book Script)

  Chapter 1

  Something Exciting This Way Comes

  Pinned to the inescapable and high tech wheel of death as he was, the dashing space captain Don Daniels could only pray for a miracle. He needed to escape for his crew’s sake and he needed to do it fast. He had only one chance and if he didn’t do it right the metal cutting lasers would make sure that he never did it again. He had taken the key he needed and nestled it between his cheeks and we’re not talking about those on his face. Luckily the captain had taken extreme measures just in case a situation like thi-………..

  Hmm?

  The script just stops.

  Where is the rest?

  Umm? Huh?

  So…what do you mean it’s not that kind of story? That's the wrong script? Oh it’s a WIP. So you want me to start over? So this flimsy thing over here is the script? Ok ok. Just give me a moment to look it over. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. That is uhh, ok I guess.

  Okay! Well I damn sure can’t in all seriousness narrate this! It’s a piece of crap! Nothing interesting happens and the way it ends is just abysmal. Have you ever read a book, watched a movie, or played a videogame in your life? Listen! The only way that I’m narrating this is if you let me make a few alterations to this, this…series of happenings. I need to spruce it up (like Henry Ford would spruce up a horse carriage, sheesh!)

  So do I have permission?.......Yes? Okay, well here we go! Welcome to my spruced up adventure.

  (Narrator's Bad Jokes)

  "The day was hot as hell and the crowd was rowdy and rambunctious. Such conditions made me glad that I had this disembodied narrator’s position."

  "Let’s say hi to Joe and his friends! Not there. Nope not there. Bear with me for a moment folks, Joe is actually quite hard to find. He doesn’t really stand out too much. Hold on for just a second. I’ll just look for something Mod would wear and bingo! Where there’s Mod there’s his sister Kate and where there’s Kate there is our protagonist Joe. Hi guys! Well our protagonists are, wait I think that they’re about to say something."

  Joe: “This line is long.”

  "He speaks and what a voice! I wish he had more to say but oh well. Well these three are here to support their hometown team, the Pickers. Joe and Kate are pretty set on going to Orange Town University, mostly because they didn’t even think about the alternatives. Okay here’s some action, it looks like the line has moved a little. The game starts in only thirty short minutes."

  "The crowd started to move forward now faster and the group’s shady acts were cleverly hidden from the security staff. I, your faithful narrator, could barely make out what they were doing with all the secrecy. Mod had taken what looked like a dead albino baby seal and placed the thermos in it before attaching it to Kate and hiding it under a sweater that he had worn. Well in hindsight that probably wasn’t a d
ead albino baby seal because that would be a ridiculous and smelly thing to attach to someone, even more ridiculous than attaching a regularly pigmented dead seal to someone. Mod had attached a fake pregnant belly to his sister by the look of it."

  "Inside they all had a pow-wow about where to go and if they would get snacks. Very boring and mundane stuff but eventually they got it all together and found their seats. They all sat down and waited for the game to begin. It began with the singing of the national anthem which got everyone all riled up and patriotic so much so that I felt the need to wear this stylish powdered wig and petticoat which, too bad for you, you can’t see. But if you close your eyes and think of the coolest person you know dressed as the founding fathers then you’d have an idea."

  "Mod pulled a couple cans of Double Dog brew for himself and handed another to Joe and then to Kate. Now this narrator in no way recommends actions like this from our amazingly bright youthful readers but I just report it as I see it. These kids liked to get lit up like the fourth of July. They downed their first cans almost instantly. This narrator was even surprised to see Kate doing better than the boys and belching the loudest when finished. They all had seconds while sharing stories of a time when Mod had accidently soiled his underwear during a camping trip. Mod tried not to laugh but couldn’t help himself."

  "So as not to confuse you glorious readers I guess I’ll call miss perky dark tresses Beauty from now on. I really did like Dark Tresses though *sadness*. Anywho, Beauty ran her fingers through her long…dark tresses and produced what seemed to be a key card. She took the key card and inserted it into a small slit on the other side of the elevator. Three glowing squares popped up in the middle of the wall. They were marked UG5, UG6, and UG7. Beauty had pressed the square for UG6 and as if touch activated the elevator began to move and the display disappeared. The card reader spit Beauty’s card back out and she picked it up and placed it back amongst her dark tresses. Joe wondered, as did I, where the hell she put that thing but neither of us lingered too long on that thought for the elevator had stopped. For some reason Beauty was still facing the wall. Joe went to tell her that they had reached their stop but was halted when the back wall of the elevator suddenly slid completely open. Joe gaped down the hall to see if there was anyone there but didn’t see or hear anyone."

  “'Hey look! This guy’s the terrorist from the news,' said some guy in the cells. Joe looked at the man and then to the T.V. and saw himself, face up, being put into a cop car. 'This kid blew up the Picker stadium? Evil little scumbag, get over here!' And that was the end of Joe."

  "Remember when I said that was the end of Joe, well…I embellished a bit. I like to keep you readers pumped up and turning the pages. It’s a compulsion really, I’m getting help for it. What I meant to say was: and that was the end of Joe…sharing a cell with the others. They pulled him out and placed him in a room by himself after those guys tried to thrash him."

  "And thus went the conversation with Hanky Panky Borland and Sir Josephus Black. Now it was done and our story could progress with action, intrigue, and suspense. Now let’s proceed ladies and gents…"

  "Joe marveled at the man’s tiny feet and thought they could’ve easily been confused for tic-tacs in those shoes. This narrator could confess to that. My nearly omniscient eyes have never witnessed feet so tiny on an adult male before."

  "They were going to turn Joe into swiss cheese and that would make things terribly difficult. This book is kind of named after the poor fellow. I supposed we could find another Joe but it just wouldn’t be the same. Not many Joe’s have as much heart as our Joe here has. I’ll miss the guy. Oh come on Joe! Survive this you crazy kid!"

  About the Author

  Belart Wright was born and raised in Detroit Michigan with a short but adventurous stint in St. Ignace during his childhood. Always poor, Belart had to learn to use his imagination to fuel the fun he had. Whether it was drawing cool and dangerous looking heroes to creating fully fledged storylines with his action figures to writing stories about kids similar to himself with fantastic abilities and destinies, Belart was always an expert in delving into other worlds that were not his own. Always naturally talented at writing, it took the advice of his brother, and a little creative boost from his high school creative writing instructor to get him to realize that writing was something he could do really well and pursue as a career. To this day he revels in building worlds and characters from the ground up such as the worlds of Hell Warriors, Story of K, Cyborgs and Deadmen, and Pannam which are all working titles.

  In his spare time Belart writes on his two blogs and ‘facebooks’ (now replaced with ‘goodreads’) far too much. As a huge gamer he plays a lot of games online and off with his favorites at the time being Borderlands 2 and Dark Souls. He just wishes he had more time to whittle his impossibly long gaming list down. He and his buddies at FlubberKnuckle Studios are also working on several new game IPs.

  He also wrote this himself, in third person, so he’s probably a bit of a jerk face. An awesome self-deprecating jerk face.

  Links

  My Personal Blog:

  www.belartscorner.blogspot.com

  My Tumblr:

  http://belart-the-illiterate-reader.tumblr.com/

  Flubberknuckle Games:

  http://www.flubberknuckle.com/wordpress/

  My Cover Artist’s Page:

  Alexandra Engellmann (cover 2)

  http://bit.ly/1CEVF4Z

  Michael Holladay (cover 1)

  http://www.nerdpromotions.com/

  Xbox Live Gamertag:

  kidNihilnom IV

  Coming Soon

  Average Joe and the Beauty

  Book 2 of An Average Joe Series

  R&D

  Liandra was beginning to sweat and so she decided that she had enough of her helmet. She had no reason to hide her face at this point anyway. She took it off and compressed it into the form of an earring with just a mere thought. The warm night wind of the Floridian fall blew her hair from her face to her neck and back again as she pushed upwards of ninety on her motorbike, which tonight was clad in white and brown owl's wings on the body and frame. Her helmet was also typically adorned with wings. The wings were symbolic of her, she thought, unfettered and always in flight and able to do as she pleased at any moment. The wings were, however, a tribute to the Order of the Owl. She had found a true home amidst the Order and missed them all dearly. The owl perfectly described her. She was most at home prowling during the night. Tonight was no different.

  What was she prowling for? Answers. She needed answers to questions she didn't even know. Her quest for answers had taken her all over the sunshine state in a very brief period. Now she was heading roughly a hundred miles from where the man she'd been keeping her owl's eyes on had set up his main base of operations. That man's name was Grabas and he was the one responsible for posing so many of these questions that she needed to answer. She was headed to another town which held yet another base for Grabas' operations. Here she hoped to knock some of those questions from her list.

  Answers never came cheap or easy but if Grabas was keen on playing games then she would at least enjoy them. She soon found herself in the town of Flatland which was deeply inland with no prayer of touching either coast. It was very plain and mostly unpopulated but many businesses had set up manufacturing operations all around. There was building after building of textiles, metalwork, fasteners, and other such developers. There were also plenty of bars but not a lot of homes. At this time of night most of the factories looked to have closed production for the day and so the bars looked to be where all of the people were. Luckily her destination was well away from all of that.

  When she neared her destination she turned off her bike's headlights. The building was tall. It had five floors from what she knew of it and no telling how many underneath. She wasn't surprised in the least when she saw that it was bustling with activity even at this late hour. She had come a while back during her initial search for Grabas
and remembered that only a select few were given the honor (or misfortune as she thought of it) of working overnight. They had special security clearances. She didn't have those same clearances so she opted to try a more creative approach.

  She rode further on down the street from the facility and parked her bike near a cluster of trees. From here she went to her messenger bag, tied at the rear of her bike, and pulled binoculars from it. She scoped the facility out from afar and saw that it was nicely secured with high barbed fences, foot patrols, and patrols in cars that circled the area in intervals. There was only one apparent way in and that was guarded by a shifty and formidable looking guard. That was only the entrance they wanted the everyday layman to think was there but Liandra knew better. She was no layman. She was trained in the espionage arts by a teacher at her former Order, to her master's chagrin. So now she could spot not one, not two, not even three, but four ways to get into the facility. She found them pretty quickly too.

  She tied her hair into a ponytail in a single smooth motion then silently ran closer to the building where she found the perfect pair of trees. Looking at them and taking note of their reasonable height and distance from one another, an idea quickly came to her mind. She almost laughed out loud at the thought. She removed her left earring and cupped it in her left hand. In her mind she echoed the phrase: "elastic, tough, resistant, yet stretchy." She pictured a giant coiling rubber band and quite suddenly had it in her hand. She could've wrapped the thing around her body like twenty times.