by Dana Delamar
Riley swore again and ran a trembling hand over his mouth. Then he stilled and looked at Arianna. “How much has she told you?”
“Everything, I think.”
“About the three of us?”
She nodded. “And her fears that you couldn’t accept Emma.”
“Which is stupid,” he spat. “I don’t give a fuck if she has a kid. Or a kid with issues. So what? It doesn’t change how I feel.”
Arianna leaned forward, her dark brown eyes flashing. “Emma has been the sticking point for several men before. Including her own father. So if Paige doesn’t believe you, it’s not because she doesn’t have ample reason.”
Riley slumped back against the cushions. “I can’t believe she left like that. Without even hearing us out.”
Arianna looked from him to me. “And you? How do you feel about this?”
She was a sharp one, this Arianna Rodriguez. “I want what Riley wants.” I gave his knee a squeeze, and he placed his hand over mine.
Arianna shook her head and made a buzzing noise, as if I were a game-show contestant who’d given the wrong answer. “Not fucking good enough. He”—she indicated Riley—“loves her. But you? You love him, not her. And I think she sees that.”
He turned to look at me. “Is that true, babe?”
My gut clenched. Was it? Was what I’d been feeling, this weird anxiety when Riley had punched the wall, when he’d talked about how devastated he was by Paige leaving, was that a sign? A sign I didn’t love her, wasn’t ready, would never be ready?
Or was I just fucking jealous and needed to get over my damn self?
“Babe?” Riley prompted me.
I closed my eyes. He started to say something, and I held up a hand to shush him.
Paige wasn’t Livia. She was kind, caring, supportive. When Riley drove me crazy, she was there to reel me back in, to reel both of us back in. I liked her so damn much, loved being with her in bed, loved sharing Riley with her, loved the way she gave of herself with no expectations. Loved the way she’d listen, really listen, and hear more than what was being said.
I loved… her. And I wanted her in my life, regardless of what Riley wanted. He and I could move on without her, sure.
But Paige made us better. Paige made us complete.
I opened my eyes. “I love her,” I said, my voice creaking like a rusty hinge. I looked at Riley. “But I admit, I’ve been a bit jealous.” I touched his bruised knuckles. “I don’t think I’d have ever inspired this.”
He shook his head, his eyes grave, then he kissed my cheek. “Don’t sell yourself short, Carter Templeton. I’d have done the same for you.” He swallowed hard, muscles jumping in his jaw. “I can’t see my life being complete without both of you.”
I smiled. “I was just thinking the same thing.” I leaned forward and kissed him, really kissed him. We didn’t stop until Arianna cleared her throat.
“While I am enjoying the show, boys, I have to get my act together before everyone starts coming down for breakfast.”
“So what should we do?” Riley asked her.
Arianna pulled a card out of her purse and wrote something on the back of it. “This is her cell number. I suggest giving her a few days to calm down and reassure herself that Emma is okay. And talk to her parents. They saw the news, and while Paige’s name wasn’t mentioned yet, they recognized her.” She handed the card to me.
“I need to talk to her,” Riley said.
“Text her.” Arianna shot him a sad smile. “Let her know you’re thinking of her and that you love her. Don’t be surprised if she doesn’t answer, and don’t be surprised if she tells you—in her polite Paige way—to fuck off. She’s spent the last fifteen years or so believing she’d never be loved again. Words won’t be enough to convince her. You’re going to have to fly your cute little behinds down to Miami and woo the hell out of her.” She looked at me. “Especially you.”
I nodded. “Message received.”
Arianna raised a beautifully manicured finger in the air, her nail polish gleaming blood red. “And I swear if you break her heart, I’ll make you regret it.”
“I have no doubt,” I said.
She held out her hand for me to shake. “Call me Ari.” She smiled with genuine warmth. “I have the feeling we’re going to be good friends.”
I took her hand. “I sure hope so.”
Riley shook her hand as well. “Me too.”
She collected her purse, then headed for the concierge’s desk. Riley turned to me. “We could leave now.”
I resisted rolling my eyes. “Did you even hear what she said? We need to give Paige a bit of space, let her calm down.”
His knee jiggled against mine. “I feel like I need to do something.” He motioned for the card Arianna had handed me. “At least let me text her.”
I handed over the card. “Don’t press. Just tell her we love her.”
Riley’s fingers flew over the screen, then he set the phone down. “Okay, let’s plan to fly to Miami directly from London. That would give her three days.”
“You do remember what’s happening in five days?”
He looked puzzled.
“The press junket in LA. For the movie.”
“Fuck the junket.”
“Really, Rye? Fuck the junket? And what about the book? Nora gave you a deadline. You won’t make it if you don’t knuckle down.”
“I don’t care.”
“Riley, come on.”
“What?”
Thank God I’d finally read the Amber books, because I’d never have understood him otherwise. “Don’t do this. Don’t make the same mistake you made with Amber and Holden.”
“What mistake would that be?”
“You put them up on a pedestal and made them more important than yourself.”
His jaw worked and he looked away. “I’m not doing that.”
“I don’t want you to lose yourself.”
“You think that’s what I’m doing?”
“Answer this: What’s the most important thing in your life?”
“You and Paige.”
“Besides that.”
“My writing.”
“Yet you’re willing to drop everything and tank your career. You’re willing to set aside your writing, this book you’ve been working on every spare moment. Shit, Riley. I’ve seen the blood, sweat, and tears you’ve poured into these new chapters. How happy you’ve been while doing it too. Why would you so easily give up something that makes you feel alive? That’s such a central part of who you are?”
“I’m not giving it up. Only putting it on hold for a bit.”
“Paige wouldn’t want you to trash your career.”
“So, what? We lose her while I take care of business?”
“No. You go to LA, you write. You knock ’em dead on the junket. You take care of business, and when you’re done, we win her back.”
Riley shook his head. “I don’t know. I’m worried, Carter, about waiting too long.”
I squeezed his hand. “Listen to me, and listen good. You are worth just as much in this relationship as Paige. As me. You are the one who brought us all together. And if you don’t learn that you fucking matter, then this relationship is doomed.”
His lashes glistened with unshed tears. “I want this to work.” He wiped at his eyes. “But I’m scared I’m going to fuck it up. Like I always fuck everything up.”
Oh damn. I cleared the lump from my throat. “You have the sweetest heart of anyone I know. Well, besides Paige. And yeah, you’re not perfect, but no one is. Not me, not Paige. No one. You think we’d both love you if you weren’t worth it?”
“She didn’t say it back.” Tears slipped down his cheeks, and I kissed them away.
“She will. She’s just scared.” I stroked his damp cheek. “And I didn’t help things. I can see now that Arianna was right. Paige could tell I wasn’t sure. But we’ll fix it. I’ll fix it.”
“You will?”
&
nbsp; “Hell yeah, I will. We will, you’ll see.”
We would fix it. We had to. Because I had a hard time picturing any future that didn’t have Paige and Riley in it.
Chapter 14
RILEY
It had been thirteen long days since I’d seen Paige. And despite my wishes, it was going to have to be one more.
“We’re on in ten,” said Clara, the floor manager, a serious-looking woman in her early thirties. She clutched a clipboard to a flat chest kept hidden beneath a bulky cardigan.
“Shit, shit, shit,” I muttered as I tried Carter’s number again. Where the hell was he? We’d planned to meet in Miami later tonight to surprise Paige and, hopefully, convince her to give our trio another chance.
Instead, the promoters of Amber’s Fall had insisted that I, Amber, and Holden do an interview today on The Jimmy Adams Show, the hottest show in late-night TV. Apparently, there’d been a last-minute cancellation, and the show’s producers were squeezing us in on the condition that all three of us appear. When I’d tried to desist, I’d been told in no uncertain terms that I’d be sued for breach of contract if I didn’t show up at the studio in New York City at the appointed time.
This was a huge coup for the movie, but my love life hung in the balance. Why couldn’t anyone understand that? The urge to throw it all away, say fuck it to the junket, fuck it to the movie, fuck it to my new book, and focus on fixing my relationship with Paige and Carter was so strong. Too strong. Maybe Carter was right. Maybe I did tend to lose myself in my relationships.
Writing defined me. I had to remember that.
All that had happened three hours ago, and since then, I’d tried calling Carter at least a hundred times. As I was about to hang up yet again, a breathless Carter came on the line. “Riley?”
“Yeah, it’s me. Listen, I don’t have much time. I got roped into doing The Jimmy Adams Show, and I’m on the air in ten minutes.”
“The Jimmy Adams Show? That’s awesome, Rye.”
My chest tightened. Carter wouldn’t think it was so wonderful if he knew that Amber and Holden were here too. I should tell Carter, admit the truth, but I couldn’t deal with the fallout at ten minutes to airtime. Not that I expected Carter to be jealous. Then again, I’d never expected Paige to run off like she had.
“There’s going to be a viewing party later that I have to attend as well. Anyway, I won’t be able to get out to Miami tonight like we’d planned.”
“Okay. So I’ll call and see if I can rebook my ticket and change our hotel reservations.”
“No, no. You should still go tonight.”
“Without you?” Carter sounded confused. “Why would I do that?”
“I was thinking that Paige might be more willing to listen if it’s just you.” I glanced toward the floor manager. She signed five minutes to me with her fingers. I filled my lungs with air and blew out slowly. I hadn’t been this nervous about an interview since I’d been grilled about the inappropriateness of my relationship with Amber by the college disciplinary board right before they fired my ass. “Anyway, she might feel less like we’re ambushing her. And… you’re better at talking to people than I am.”
Carter chuckled. “Wow, you must really be on edge about doing the show to be saying that.”
“I’m serious.”
“Okay. I’ll fly out as planned and see if I can talk to Paige.”
“I’ll call you when I get to town.”
“Riley?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re going to be great. And you know what else?”
“What?”
“I love you.”
My chest filled with warmth and tears pricked my eyes. Christ, what I wouldn’t give to feel the reassuring pressure of Carter’s hand on my neck right now.
Yeah, and have him meet Amber and Holden. That would be fun.
My stomach churned and I shoved the thought away. I didn’t want my past mistakes to taint what Carter and I shared, and hopefully, what Paige would share with us. Because we couldn’t lose her. We wouldn’t.
“I love you too, babe. And more importantly, I trust you with everything.”
“I won’t let you down, Rye. I will fix this. I promise.”
I shook out my shoulders as Clara waved frantically at me. “Shit. I’ve got to go. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” I joked.
“Hot damn, then I guess all options are on the table.”
Carter’s deep rumbling laugh rolled over me. “You got it. Later, man.”
Here goes nothing.
Pocketing my cell phone, after making sure to set it to vibrate, I followed Clara out of the green room, down the long corridors, and stopped behind the curtain shielding the entrance to the stage.
Was I going to be able to go out there and be civil when I still itched to slam my fist into Holden’s handsome face? The last time we’d all met, it had turned into a giant screamfest. No doubt the producers were banking on a repeat performance. It would be super bad for my reputation, but it would be great for ticket sales. Everyone loved a scandal.
Clara counted down, silently mouthing, “Five, four, three, two, one.”
I had vaguely heard the announcer saying my name when Clara shoved me through the opening in the curtain. The crowd cheered, making me feel like a rock star.
I wouldn’t lie. I loved the attention showered on me by the audience. Still, I’d trade it to be with Carter and Paige in Miami. Too bad contracts didn’t give two shits about love.
Waving to the audience, I turned to the host, Jimmy, who welcomed me with a handshake and bro hug. And then, all too soon, Amber was standing right in front of me, and she looked even more beautiful than before. Her long chestnut hair shone in the bright stage lights, and she wore a very tight, very short dress in a shade of pink that accentuated the delicateness of her skin.
She smiled at me and held out her hand. I steeled myself against the impact that her touch had always had on me. Pressing a light kiss to her cheek, I took her fingers in mine. The scent she wore tickled my nose, making me retreat quickly before I sneezed all over her.
Taking stock of my reactions, I didn’t sense any tingling or tightening. No increased pulse. No heart slamming against my chest. In fact, the only impact she was having on me was a desire to get away from the potency of her perfume.
I held my hand out to Holden and prepared for the old anger to grab me, that feeling of betrayal, of the knife sliding between my ribs.
All I felt was the quick squeeze of Holden’s fingers around my own, and then it was over.
After we’d taken our seats, I waited for the questions, which would likely focus more on the salacious details of our past relationship, the arguments and the ultimate failure, than on the movie we were actually promoting. Having all three of us here at once would be too much temptation for our host to ignore.
“So,” Jimmy started. “How long has it been since the last time you were all together like this?”
Amber tittered and put her clenched fist between her breasts in a way I used to find so damn sexy. Now it seemed childish. Fake. But that wasn’t a fair assessment. Was I allowing my resentment to color my perception of her?
Since neither Amber nor Holden answered the question, I decided I’d make the first move. “Not since a certain rather disastrous evening at Catch LA.” Looking at the audience, I grinned and widened my eyes. On cue, the audience reacted with the laughter I’d expected.
The photos of our horrendous breakup had been plastered all over social media and grocery store checkout counter rags. Hell, they’d even made it onto CNN.
When I looked back at our host, whose expression showed his extreme pleasure that I had gone there, I accepted that this was what I had to do. I had to face my past, exorcise it even, and what better way than to do it in front of a national audience and my two former lovers? Because yeah, I was Riley fucking Kendrick.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Holden take Amber’s hand and rest it on hi
s thigh. It was a tender gesture that only a few months ago would have slayed me. Today, I felt nothing. Not even when her large diamond engagement ring twinkled in the bright stage lights.
“How long ago was that?” Jimmy asked, looking at Amber.
“Oh, I don’t know. How long ago was it, honey?” she asked Holden.
Doing an admirable job of not looking at me, Holden took a moment as he seemed to count back. “Ah… It was around Thanksgiving. So what is that? Nine months?”
“Let me get this right,” Jimmy said. “You’ve all been working on the same movie, yet you haven’t even laid eyes on each other in all that time?”
“Well.” Amber shot me a glance. “Riley was just a consultant on the movie, so most of what he did was by phone or email I guess.”
Holden’s jaw tightened and for the first time since the beginning of the interview, he faced me. “You left town right after, moved to the East Coast, right?”
As I met and held Holden’s green stare, a sense of serenity swept over me. Compared to Carter, Holden was an immature kid. As for Amber, she wasn’t half the woman Paige was. Maybe someday she would be, but right now, she and Holden were two kids caught up in the whirlwind of life in the spotlight. I had been there, so I knew what I was talking about. What had started out as a never-ending party with sexy, glamorous people determined to have the time of their lives soon became a cold and empty existence. No one cared about anyone. Loyalty was just a word. Being rejected by Amber and Holden had been a harsh removal of the rose-tinted glasses I’d been wearing since stepping off the plane at LAX. The glamor had become tawdry. The people plastic. The emotions flat. That’s when I’d known that I didn’t belong there anymore.
My time with Carter and Paige had taught me I didn’t need the world’s attention. I only needed the attention of the two people I loved with all my heart. I loved who I was with them. I loved who they were with me. They made me a better person, and I liked to think I did the same for them.
Amber and Holden? Like a taste of maple-flavored syrup, they’d left me craving the real thing.
And I was damn certain I’d found the real thing with Carter and Paige.