The Girl on the Beach: A Heartbreaking Page Turner With a Stunning Twist

by Tracy Buchanan

  ‘She does look terrified, doesn’t she?’ Amber says with a sigh. ‘She really didn’t want to be in the papers. I wonder if she has even seen this yet?’

  ‘Take it to her,’ Rita says. ‘You’re due a visit anyway.’

  ‘But I’ve just opened the shop,’ Amber replies. ‘Not to mention the painting I need to do,’ she adds, gesturing towards the hut behind her, nearly all red now but still hinting at its former pastel colours. Stall-holders are already arriving in town; she saw the lorries and vans earlier. And yet she still has two huts to paint.

  ‘We’ll man the fort,’ Viv says. ‘Rita will paint.’

  Rita smirks. ‘Man the fort? And there you were talking about the objectification of women.’

  Viv rolls her eyes.

  ‘Okay,’ Amber says, grabbing her bag. ‘Just an hour or so.’

  Twenty minutes later, she’s with Lumin, who’s staring at the article in disgust. ‘Oh God, it’s awful,’ she says.

  ‘You don’t look awful.’

  ‘I don’t mean the photo!’ Lumin shouts, surprising Amber with her raised voice. ‘The article.’ She throws it to the floor and curls her hands in anger. ‘It makes me sound like a drunk party girl.’

  ‘I know it’s difficult, but it could lead to someone recognising you. It’ll be worth it when you’re back home.’

  She laughs bitterly. ‘Home? The place with sobbing people and frozen lakes. Sounds lush.’

  ‘Someone will see these articles,’ Amber says, stroking her back. ‘They’ll recognise you and it’ll all be okay, I promise.’

  She turns to Amber, fixing her with a steely gaze. ‘But you cant promise that, can you?’

  Amber remembers saying the same to Jasper when Katy was at her worst. He hadn’t been able to answer. Even he, with all his medical qualifications, couldn’t promise their daughter would survive.

  ‘I can’t,’ Amber admits. ‘But whatever happens, I’m here for you.’

  Lumin smiles weakly. ‘Thanks.’

  But two more days go by with no solid leads. The police receive calls, of course, hundreds of them. But none that amount to anything.

  ‘So it was completely pointless,’ Lumin says after a visit from the detectives with an update.

  ‘It’s only been a couple of days,’ Jen says, who’s in the cubicle too. Her eyes dart to Amber then away again. She goes to the other side of the bed and checks the dressing on Lumin’s head as she smiles. ‘The good news is, you’re doing really well in terms of your head injury. The stitches are healing nicely and the swelling is completely down so we’ll be taking this dressing off today. I think you’re ready to move on now, maybe even tomorrow.’

  She’s saying it in a bright voice but Lumin’s having none of it. ‘To the fruit loop ward?’ she spits, crossing her arms.

  ‘Now that’s not very nice, Lumin,’ Jen says. ‘The ward is fine. You will have your own private room and trust me, the intensive sessions will have you remembering things in no time, I guarantee it.’

  Lumin’s nostrils flare and she looks away.

  ‘Is there an outpatient option?’ Amber suddenly asks. ‘What about if she stays with me and comes here each day for treatment? I can walk her in.’

  Lumin looks at Amber, eyes hopeful.

  ‘But you have a one-bed flat, right?’ Jen asks, taking in her paint-splattered jeans. ‘And I overheard you saying you’re busy with your shop …’

  Amber looks at her in surprise. ‘How do you know about the size of my flat?’ she says, ignoring the nurse’s comment about the shop. Truth is, her heart hasn’t been in it. She’s finished painting the red hut now, but hasn’t even attempted the others. Her hand is aching more than ever with the freezing temperatures and she’s wanted to visit Amber as much as she can. At least it will stand out, one bright red hut sticking out like a sore thumb against the other two.

  Jen’s cheeks flush. ‘I’m just saying, there won’t be any space for Lumin in a small flat.’

  ‘I have a pull-out bed.’

  ‘Not very comfortable,’ Jen retorts.

  ‘I’ll sleep in it. Lumin can have my very comfortable king-size bed, the same bed I used to share with my husband, Jasper.’ She knows it’s childish to add that but she still feels a sense of satisfaction reminding this woman who clearly has a crush on Jasper that Amber was the one who was married to him.

  ‘You’re married to that blond doctor?’ Lumin asks in surprise. ‘Not any more,’ Jen shoots back, crossing her arms.

  Lumin laughs. ‘You two sound like you’re fighting over a piece of cake.’

  Jen’s face flushes and Amber shakes her head, realising just how childish things were getting. This is about Lumin, not Jasper and his new girlfriend.

  Jen seems to feel the same. ‘Look, Amber, I like your good intentions,’ she says softly. ‘But what with us not knowing Lumin’s age, we can’t just let her stay at anyone’s flat. Even,’ she quickly adds, ‘someone as wonderful as you have been with her. It’ll do her good, really. They’re the experts up there.’

  Jen looks at Lumin, who doesn’t seem to be listening any more, just staring out of the window. Amber strokes Lumin’s arm. ‘You look tired.’

  ‘I am,’ Lumin mumbles.

  ‘I’ll let you sleep.’ Amber stands up and stretches. ‘I better go check on the damage my mum and aunt have done to the shop.’ ‘I’ll walk out with you,’ Jen says. ‘I like your gift shop,’ she says as they walk through the ward. ‘I got my mum a lovely gift from it last year.’

  ‘Thanks,’ Amber says reluctantly. ‘Look, I feel really uncomfortable about Lumin being moved to that ward.’

  ‘Can’t you see she’s just festering here?’

  Amber shakes her head. ‘Festering. What a word.’

  ‘You know what I mean though? Each day, she seems more tired, less vibrant. I’ve seen it in other patients. She’s losing hope.’

  Amber peers back towards the cubicle. Jen is right. ‘I know how that feels.’

  Jen puts her hand on Amber’s arm. ‘I know you do.’

  ‘Well, you’re the expert,’ Amber says stiffly, moving away.

  Jen sighs, running her hand over her tired face. It makes Amber think of Jasper and those mornings after his late shifts when he’d insist on having breakfast with her even if he’d just got an hour or so of sleep the night before. These people work so hard. It wasn’t fair Amber was being so harsh with her.

  ‘I’m sorry I’ve been a bitch,’ she says. ‘I guess it’s just hard seeing Jasper with someone else.’

  She looks at Amber, confused. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I mean you and Jasper.’

  She laughs. ‘God, that was ages ago. I’m married now with a baby on the way,’ she says, gesturing to her small round tummy. ‘In fact, Jasper was over for dinner with me and my husband the other night!’

  ‘Oh. I see.’

  She sighs. ‘I guess it’s my turn to apologise too. It’s not just you who’s been a bitch. I know how much Jasper loved you. It’s the reason things didn’t work out for us. Seeing how much he was hurt by you leaving him, I guess it makes me a little hostile with you.’

  ‘It was a difficult time for me too, you know. The hurt wasn’t just one-sided.’

  ‘I know. Look, why don’t you give Jasper a call? He’ll reassure you about the psychiatric ward.’ Jen picks up a clipboard and scans it. Then she peers up at Amber, holding her gaze. ‘Chat to him. I think he’d like that.’

  That night, Amber sits nursing a glass of wine, thinking of Lumin … of Jasper too. I think he’d like that, Jen had said. She looks at her white walls, taking in the silence.

  She quickly picks up her phone and stares at the screen. Then she calls the number she’s avoided calling for years.

  ‘Amber?’ Jasper says when he answers, a hint of surprise in his voice.

  ‘Hi. Jen suggested I call you. About Lumin?’

  ‘Is she okay?’

  ‘She’s fine. They’r
e definitely moving her to the psych ward tomorrow.’

  ‘Ah.’

  Amber sits up straight. ‘You say that like it’s a bad thing. You’re supposed to be reassuring me!’

  ‘No, no, it’s good. They’ll know what they’re doing there.’

  ‘But …?’ Amber always knew when a ‘but’ was coming from Jasper.

  ‘But I do wonder if it’ll just make her feel out of sorts. You never know from one day to the next the kind of people who might be in there.’

  ‘Great, now you’re making me feel worse about it.’

  ‘How about I arrange for you to visit in the morning? One of the staff owes me.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Sure. I can pick you up, eight?’

  ‘Thanks, that’d be good.’ Amber curls her feet under her. She doesn’t want the conversation to end. ‘So when’s your next shift start?’

  ‘I have a few days off actually,’ Jasper replies. ‘For Christmas.’

  They’re silent as they imagine the Christmases that could have been with Katy.

  ‘Any plans?’ Amber asks.

  ‘Going to my parents.’

  ‘That’ll be nice. The Peak District will be stunning this time of year.’ She’d often visited the Peak District to see her in-laws when she was married to Jasper. Katy had her first holiday there too. They lived in a lovely bungalow with a sweeping view of the hills, and many happy summer days had been spent in the beautiful garden, which bloomed with the roses Jasper’s flower-mad mother had planted.

  ‘How are they both?’ she asks.

  ‘Good. Well, Dad’s back’s really playing up, so that’s getting him down, but well otherwise. You going to your mum and aunt’s for Christmas?’ he asks.

  ‘Yes and guess what? Viv’s cooking.’

  ‘Christ, poor you. I still remember the lamb she once cooked for us.’

  ‘More like burnt.’

  They laugh.

  ‘Look outside,’ Jasper says.

  Amber gazes out of her window, sees hints of the sea and the beach huts. ‘What?’

  ‘Look up.’

  She does as he asks and sees huge snowflakes tumbling down. She pulls her blanket up over her legs. ‘They said it was going to get heavy.’

  ‘You okay?’ He knows how she gets when it snows like this, memories of when she’d lost her fingers being ploughed to the surface.

  ‘I’m fine,’ she says. ‘Jasper?’

  ‘Yes?’

  She realises in that moment there is so much she wants to say to him. So much regret and sadness. Love too. But instead she whispers: ‘Stay on the phone with me, will you? I don’t fancy being alone tonight.’

  ‘Me neither.’

  The next morning, Amber strolls into the psych ward with Jasper. It’s not so bad there. The walls are painted a soothing blue and a teenager – a patient, Amber presumes – is sitting on a chair, reading a book. The Christmas decorations hung around the place are less in your face then the ones in the children’s wards, hints of silver and gold. When they get into the main communal area, more teenagers are sitting watching a Christmas film on TV. They just look like normal teenagers and this dispells her fears about the ward.

  Then Amber realises with a shock Lumin is among them. She doesn’t recognise her at first, dressed in jeans and a thick black jumper. It pales her skin even more, makes the circles beneath her blue eyes pronounced. She looks up, catching sight of Amber. But she doesn’t react, her eyes just blinking.

  ‘I didn’t realise they were transferring her already!’ Amber says.

  ‘I didn’t either,’ Jasper replies. ‘Let me find out what’s going on.’

  Amber walks over to Lumin and sits beside her. ‘Hi. How’s it going?’

  She shrugs. ‘No different really.’ Her voice is slurred, her pupils dilated.

  ‘Have they given you something?’

  Lumin scratches at her arms. ‘I had a bit of a tantrum last night,’ she says, using her fingers to form quotes. ‘They decided they needed me out of the kids’ ward sharpish. I think they’re starting to accept I might be over eighteen.’

  ‘Do you think you are?’

  She shrugs. ‘I had a memory rehabilitation session last night though with a new doctor.’

  ‘Any new memories?’

  She sighs. ‘Just a waterfall. A frozen one.’ She opens her fist to reveal a scrunched up drawing.

  Amber takes it and flattens it out. ‘That’s good, a new memory,’ she says.

  ‘I guess,’ Lumin replies non-committally. She turns to the TV and Amber watches her with concern. Jen’s right, she really seems to have given up.

  ‘Seems to be a theme,’ Amber says. ‘Frozen beaches. Frozen lakes. Frozen waterfalls. Maybe you didn’t live in the UK and that’s why no one’s coming forward.’

  ‘Then how come I have a British accent?’

  ‘Plenty of Brits live abroad.’

  ‘Maybe.’ She sighs.

  ‘How are you finding it here?’ Amber takes in a painfully thin girl who’s examining her nails nearby, a boy pacing back and forth as he mumbles to himself.

  ‘Honestly?’ Lumin says, eyes alighting back on Amber. ‘It’s awful.’

  Amber’s heart goes out to her. She looks so devoid of hope. ‘I’m sorry. Hopefully it won’t be too long.’

  ‘And then what?’

  Amber wants to give her an answer. But she really doesn’t know. It’s already been made clear they can’t let Lumin stay with her.

  ‘We need to find this place,’ Amber says, staring at the waterfall. ‘Can I borrow the notepad they found you with? I’m going to spend the day going over this all. Consider me your own private detective.’

  Lumin pulls the leather notepad from her back pocket. ‘There are some other pictures I drew in there too. Good luck, Sherlock,’ she replies with a bitter laugh. ‘There are over a hundred waterfalls in the UK. God knows how many around the world.’

  ‘You remembered something!’

  ‘The number of waterfalls in the UK, how very useful,’ Lumin says sarcastically. Then she shakes her head and turns back to the TV.

  That night, Amber lays out Lumin’s drawings on her dining table. The lodge overlooking the lake. A waterfall. Then one she hasn’t seen: a bench overlooking a lake and mountains, a man and woman sitting on it. She googles ‘lakes waterfall’. The first result is a tourism website for the Lake District. Turns out there are several waterfalls in the Lake District and, as Lumin pointed out, even more around the UK. Amber looks at each one, comparing them to the photo she’d taken of Lumin’s first drawing. A few stand out so she prints them off. Then she reaches for the notepad, flicks through it and stops at a page focused on the ptarmigan. There’s a sketch of a bird soaring over a lake. She reads the note next to it: Ptarmigans are masters of adapting to their surroundings. Feathers will turn white in the winter to act as camouflage against the snow. They prefer to live high up in the mountains but will come down to intense forest areas if it gets very cold.

  She flicks through the other pages then finally finds what she’s looking for: a sketch of a rowan tree, a small furry creature with pointed ears sitting beneath it. Pine martens rely heavily on rowan berries as the colder months descend. Their scats are distributed wildly and give a good indication where these elusive creatures have been.

  She turns back to her laptop, looking up pine martens.

  Pine martens are mostly found in the north of Britain. They prefer woodlands, climb very well and live in holes in trees. They are often known to forage in the gardens of people living in the Scottish Highlands.

  She googles ‘loch’, ‘forest’, ‘waterfall’ then ‘mountain’ … and then suddenly, there it is, the exact same waterfall as the one in Lumin’s picture. The Audhild Falls. It’s near one large loch but despite searching into the night, Amber can’t for the life of her find the lodge Amber drew.

  Still, this was a clue, wasn’t it? A big one! But if it’s right, if Lumin do
es come from Scotland, what on earth was she doing so far from there now?

  Chapter Nine

  The next day, Amber goes to see Lumin and shows her the photo she’d printed off of the waterfall and its surrounding lochs. From the ward’s window, they can see the hustle and bustle of the annual Christmas market stalls being set up. But Amber barely notices, her mind focused on getting Lumin home.

  Lumin taps her finger on the waterfall and nods. ‘There’s something about this. And it looks just like the picture I drew, right?’

  Amber nods. ‘It’s in Scotland, in the Highlands. It’s right near a loch too, Audhild Loch. Ring a bell?’

  Lumin shakes her head. ‘What about the lodge?’

  ‘No sign of a lodge that looks like the one you drew,’ Amber admits. ‘But that doesn’t mean there isn’t one there. Have a look through my printouts, I found lots of photos of the area.’

  Lumin turns her attention back to the photos and after a few moments, a smile spreads over her face. ‘It all feels so familiar.’

  Amber punches the air. ‘Yes! Finally, a lead. I’m going to let Detective King know, all right? There are different newspapers in Scotland, so that might explain why nobody’s come forward. If they focus the media attention there, something might come up.’

  But nothing does. Two days later, Amber gets a call from Detective King. ‘Not having much luck, I’m afraid. Just the usual cranks.’

  Amber’s shoulders slump in disappointment. ‘But she recognised the area. Maybe you can take her there? Being absorbed in the place where all her main memories have come from might trigger even more.’

  ‘We don’t have the resources, Miss Caulfield, especially this close to Christmas. How do we know it wasn’t just a holiday she took there as a child? God knows how many people visit the Highlands each year.’

  Amber bites her nails. ‘It’s more than that, I know it. Lumin does too.’

  He sighs. ‘Look, it’s only been ten days. The doctor who’s treating her is convinced her memories will return with some more time.’