Faker Boy (Alexis Secret Book 2)

by Elsie Charlotte

  I was too caught up in my thoughts of Aaron, I didn’t notice he was calling out my name. I looked up at him, smiling feebly.

  “Yes? Did you say something?” I said meekly to which Aaron smirked, folding his arms across his chest.

  “Nothing, Lexi. Nothing at all.” He said, smirking at me. I would’ve answered him quicker if confusion hadn’t clouded my mind. Why was he acting so casual when he knew what was to happen? Why was he still being so affectionate with me when it was all a facade for his mother. It just didn’t make sense.

  I shook my head, putting a wild strand of hear behind my ear.

  “No, you said something. What was it?” I said, knowing he was acting blank to tease me.

  He laughed yet again before pointing towards Justin and Danny who were in the middle of a heated discussion about whether boys should be allowed to wear to sport bras. Needless to say, it was blatantly obvious that Justin was on the ‘against’ side of the argument and clearly winning from what I could hear.

  “Me and the guys were going to go karting after school. You could come, if you want.” He drawled out tentatively, rubbing the back of his neck- something I knew he’d do when he was nervous.

  I wanted to come more than anything. To spend time with Aaron was like feeling alive, but I remembered- the doctors appointment. It was scheduled today after school and I had already decided to go. Irrespective of my feelings for Aaron, I couldn’t shirk away from the responsibility that was providing happiness for my mother.

  I shook my head even though my heart was screaming an internal yes.

  “It’s okay. You guys go ahead. I’m going to spend time with the family.” I said, lying again, but I knew it was for the good. He didn’t need to know about the illness. It would just make things harder for me.

  Aaron hesitated before speaking again.

  “Sure?” Was all that he said. I smiled at his question before nodding my head as confirmation.

  “Yes. I’m sure. Now, go or you’re going to be late for your class. It’s on the other side of the building.” I said, chuckling as he reached into my locker.

  “You have Biology now and you have English right after, so you’re probably going to need these.” He said giving me the text books with a smile, but I couldn’t respond to his smile. I was speechless. He knew what lessons I had even when I didn’t tell him.

  Before I could answer, Danny was in front if me, facing towards Aaron. A small pout graced his face and batted his eyelashes dramatically.

  “You remember my schedule too, don’t you?” He questioned to which we all stared at him strangely. Aaron shook his head before saying goodbye to me and dragged Danny off down the corridor.

  I smiled at their antics, but immediately froze when I realised who I had been left with- Justin. He glared down at me and, before I could make a mad dash for it, he grabbed my arm.

  “The only reason I’m not telling him is because I know what state Sam’s passing left him in. That’s the only reason.” He stated bluntly before walking away.

  I sighed as I watched him walk out of sight. Aaron couldn’t know about this.

  ******************

  “Yes, so consumption of fatty food has decreased, I presume?” He asked, regarding me from the corner of his eye. I nodded at this before standing at up.

  I had been at the doctors for 42 minutes now and everything the appointment entailed was predictable and infuriating. The same old question- ’are you sure you’re fine to not go through with the treatment search?” was repeated again and again and I couldn’t stand hearing it any longer. I needed to leave. Without so much of a goodbye, I ran out of the office to, regrettably, run into the one and only.

  Aaron walker.

  I stopped dead in my tracks, watching as he gazed at me curiously.

  “Lexi. What are you doing here?” He asked, gesturing towards the surroundings. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to lie to him again. It hurt me too much to do so, but nor did I want to tell him the truth.

  I laughed nervously, looking around.

  “Well, why are you here?” I responded, answering his question with a question.

  Aaron eyed me suspiciously, but nevertheless opened his mouth to answer.

  “I had a little go karting accident. I just hit my head really hard on the track. I didn’t want to make a big deal out it by coming to hospital, but the guys pushed me to come. Now, what about you?” He said and it was then I noticed the small plaster on his forehead. He looked at me to talk and I opened my mouth to give him by best excuse.

  But, before I could, the doctor rushed out of his office and came towards me.

  “Alexis. I know it’s hard, but you shouldn’t run out of the room every time someone mentions the treatment. The team cares for you and really wants to help you. Just... think about it, that’s all I have to say.” And with that he was back in his room and Aaron’s eyes were on me. It was silent for a few minutes, but it wasn’t long until Aaron spoke.

  “What is he talking about, Lexi?”

  18- Away From Us

  “What is he talking about, Lexi? ”

  *********

  A cold and deathly silence had suddenly fallen upon the bleak hallways of the hospital. He was waiting for me to say something; to clarify the doctors words, but I couldn’t. I was speechless.

  I knew it now. No lies could be spoken and no excuses could be made. I had, regrettably, reached the end of the line and it was now time for me to reveal the long-hidden truth.

  Aaron hadn’t said anything after the dreaded question left his lips. Rather, he waited for my reply, tapping his shoe impatiently. He looked towards the doctors room curiously before gesturing to it.

  “Were you in there?” He asked, looking down at me. The look of curiosity on his face seemed insatiable and, I knew, he wouldn’t relent until knowing the truth.

  I could have lied to him. I could have conjured up a petty excuse of how I was ‘visiting’ for a friend. I even considered it for a moment,but- upon gazing into his eyes- I just couldn’t find the will to lie again.

  So, I nodded.

  At this, the confusion on Aaron’s face didn’t seem to subside, but - rather- it grew. It was clear he hadn’t the slightest idea of my plight.

  His eyebrows furrowed as he looked back at the doctors door.

  “Er, can I ask why?” He said, turning to me with an eyebrow raised. I contemplated shouting ‘no!’ and fleeing to Mexico, but dismissed it when I saw a gurney behind me.

  Curse the injured person who was blocking my escape route.

  Instead of planning a pathetic escape, I turned to Aaron slowly, gazing at the ground as I spoke.

  “Aaron. I don’t know how to say this, but...” I stopped mid-sentence, losing the will to carry on, but I knew I had already said too much and Aaron was waiting for the truth.

  He had waited too long.

  “But, what?” He said, moving closer yet I took a step back. I needed space to say this. I looked up to see Aaron- a look of hurt on his face- but it was gone before it had come, making me wonder if I had just imagined it.

  I sighed deeply, rubbing my arm

  nervously.

  “I’m ill, Aaron.” I said bluntly. I didn’t want to beat around the bush. I had done it too much; too often and it needed to stop.

  Before I could process his reaction, Aaron had already rushed to my side. He put a cold hand to my head, a look of worry on his face.

  “What? Is it a fever or something?” He asked and then, I realised, he didn’t understand the severity of my illness.

  Well, in hindsight, I had said it very casually.

  I stared up at Aaron as he stood over me, his hand still resting on my forehead. When he noticed my gaze on him, he raised a dark eyebrow.

  “What is it? What’s wrong, Lexi? ” He asked, taking hold of my hand. His hands were large around mine, enveloping them perfectly. I didn’t want to let go of him, but I had to. It was my time to leave.
>
  I pulled back from him, resulting in a confused look from Aaron. Pushing a hair behind my ear, my voice shook as I spoke.

  “Aaron, I’m ill. Seriously ill.” I breathed out, cursing when I felt tears springing to my eyes. A while back, I was happy to leave and-now- I was feeling upset. Something had changed within me and it was holding me back from doing the greater good; from making all those around me happy. Those that were better off without me.

  Aaron moved back abruptly, a blank look on his face. He looked back at the doctors door again before turning his gaze to the floor.

  “Wh-what do you mean ‘seriously ill’?” He said, his voice shook as he spoke.

  I nodded, deciding it be best to rip the band aid off as fast as I could.

  “Severe aplastic anaemia. I was diagnosed at 13.” I said, shrugging indifferently, but inside I was in turmoil. I was afraid of his reaction.

  Was it bad that I wanted him to be upset? I wanted to see if he cared for me just as I did him.

  The look of shock on Aaron’s face seemed unextinguishable. I didn’t know what he was thinking at that exact moment, although I wish I did.

  The look of shock, however, vanished hurriedly into thin air and was soon replaced by a look of anger yet this wasn’t the same anger that I had seen on him when we had our fights nor was it the anger that I saw he used on others. It seemed different, somehow, I didn’t know how. Aaron moved closer to me sharply, rubbing a hand through his hair. Before I could question his behaviour, he spoke.

  “Don’t joke about your life like that, Lexi, I don’t like it.” He breathed, looking me in the eyes. I had to compose myself from melting from the close proximity.

  I sighed, looking into Aaron’s eyes and, with one long look, he knew I wasn’t joking. He stumbled back, looking around frantically. I moved closer, trying to calm him, but he pushed me away.

  “You’re lying.” He muttered, more to himself than me and I couldn’t help the tear that ran down my cheek.

  “I’m not.” I whispered back, trying again to move closer, but Aaron pushed me away again. I sighed. I knew it was going to be hard to disclose the truth to him.

  He gazed at the floor in thought for a few seconds and I watched him in silence. After a few moments, he looked back up, a glimmer of hope in his beautiful eyes.

  “There’s a treatment, right? ” He more pleaded than asked, moving closer. I sighed heavily while nodding. The complete truth needed to be told.

  “Yes. There is a cure, b-” Before I could finish my reasoning, Aaron had already pulled his phone out of his pocket and was already trying to make a call.

  “I know this guy. His name is Terry. He’s the best doctor in the business. If he can’t help you then no one can. He’s who you need .” Aaron spoke hurriedly as if he was being chased. He tapped away at his phone anxiously, cursing exceptionally loud when he was sent to voicemail.

  “Aaron! Aaron, calm down!” I said, stroking his back. He seemed stressed out beyond relief and I hated myself for being the cause. I reached out to touch his shoulder, but -before I could- Aaron took hold of my arm, gripping it tightly.

  “Why didn’t you tell me before?” He said, his voice stone hard. He looked at me, but not in the eyes. The look of anger on his face was clear for all to see.

  I recoiled, not expecting that type of question. I was speechless, mostly because I had no answer.I didn’t know why I hadn’t told Aaron. I shrugged, looking into his beautiful eyes.

  “Guess, I thought, you didn’t care.” I said honestly to which Aaron tutted loudly.

  “Have I ever done anything to show you I don’t care? ” He exclaimed, gesturing wildly with his hands. I rolled my eyes at this,moving dangerously closer.

  “I don’t know. How about the time when you talked to me to just ask for a favour. Is that not good enough for you? ” I stated dryly, looking down at my nails. Aaron didn’t seem to respond well to my dry wit, his face turning from normal to angry in a fraction of a second.

  “Now’s not a good time to be using sarcasm, Lexi. Just take the money I give you and-”

  I interrupted his words with a cough, glaring viciously at his face.

  “Money? Do I look like a charity case, Aaron? I don’t need anything from you nor will I ever.” I spat out, feeling insulted from his blind assumptions.

  Aaron tutted loudly again, a look of desperation on his face. He gestured towards me.

  “Can you stop being such a feminist for one second and think about what actually matters- your life. That’s what matters. ” He pleaded, his voice trembling with fear. He looked at me, searching my eyes for an answer. To what, I’m not sure.

  I looked away from his gaze and folded my arms stubbornly.

  “I don’t need the money. I’m not getting the treatment.” I said bluntly.

  God, I need to stop hanging out with Justin.

  At my words, Aaron pulled away from me. His eyes were dark and held an emotion that I couldn’t decipher.

  “Lexi. Stop messing around. I swear, it’s not a fucking joke. Just take the-” Before Aaron could finish his sentence, I put a hand up, stopping his words.

  “I’m not joking, Aaron! I don’t want to live anymore for my own personal reasons and you have no jurisdiction in changing my choice what so ever. I don’t need the damn money.” I shouted, breathing deeply. I didn’t want to tell him about the money and donor situation because it would be futile.

  And then the cold; deadly silence was back. I was looking down yet I could sense someone’s gaze on me. I looked up to see Aaron staring at me. He looked fragile and completely different to what he usually looked like and I shook my head in worry. I didn’t mean to cause this.

  He opened his mouth to speak; but I immediately saddened upon hearing his voice.

  “You want to leave me too?” He questioned with a voice so quiet, I had to strain to hear him. The look on his face broke my heart.

  Pain; regret; anger- all these feeling were evident on Aaron’s face and I hated myself for being the reason. But, I couldn’t shirk away from bringing everyone the greater good. I had to fulfill my duty, be it with his approval or without.

  I looked down to the ground morosely. I didn’t know why, but I didn’t have the courage to look him in the eye as I talked to him

  “Sorry, Aaron, but you wouldn’t understand.” I said with a heavy sigh, turning to look away from him.

  Aaron stared long and hard at me, the look of anger growing. He moved away slowly and I let him. I let him distance himself. Before turning, he ran a hand through his hair.

  “Fine, but don’t expect me to watch you die.” and with that he walking away from me.

  Away from us.

  I tried calling his name, but he ignored every scream. I shed a few tears, but he didn’t seem to notice.

  “Aaron! Please, understand! Come back!” I screamed, moving after him.

  The tears were uncontrollable now and I felt empty. Part of me felt as if he was walking away from me forever and there was nothing I could do about it. My heart was in pain and the dull ache in my stomach burned like a thousand stars. I needed him, that much I knew, so I did the only thing I felt right.

  Moving forward, I cupped my hands around my mouth as the tears streamed down my face.

  “Aaron, wait! I love you.”

  And he stopped dead in his tracks.

  19- Anticipation= Dread

  The tears were uncontrollable now and I felt empty. Part of me felt as if he was walking away from me forever and there was nothing I could do about it. My heart was in pain and the dull ache in my stomach burned like a thousand stars. I needed him, that much I knew, so I did the only thing I felt right.

  Moving forward, I cupped my hands around my mouth as the tears streamed down my face.

  "Aaron, wait! I love you."

  And he stopped dead in his tracks.

  **********

  Another achingly long silence passed between us- an achingly long time in which
I could sufficiently reflect and, consequently, regret my words.

  But, it was far too late. The words had been uttered and all that was left was the anticipation for the response.

  Anticipation being another word for dread.

  I knew, regardless of not being told, what Aaron was to feel for me. Never in the slightest had he displayed evidence for reciprocating my feelings and, with this thought, I felt a huge pit in my stomach.

  Aaron hadn't moved from his position and I cursed internally. From how he was standing, with his back towards me, I couldn't see his expression.

  What was he feeling?

  His shoulders were tensed, that much I could tell. They had been tensed since I uttered those rotten words and the urge to go to him and power slam his shoulders down seemed insatiable.

  Pulling me from my thoughts, Aaron turned his head slightly to his left, so he could look at me from the corner of his eye. He was breathing heavily, something I realised him and his friends had in common when they were angry.

  I tried deriving emotion from the look he was giving me, but it was futile. His face was stone hard; unlike him. He dropped his gaze to the floor and a look of focus passed over his face.

  He was thinking. About what, however, I was not sure. I felt the need to say something; something that could disrupt the silence that had created a pit on my stomach, but- before I could- Aaron sighed heavily and I watched his actions intently. He gazed up at me for a last second before slowly shaking his head and, with that, he exited the hallway.

  He was gone.

  I couldn't help it. The thought of how this may have been our last memory together stung at my heart and his absence bought tears to my eyes. This couldn't have been it for us. There needed to be more. I whimpered to myself as I remembered the worst bit in all this.

  He hadn't said 'I love you too'.

  The hurt etched deep within me. I hadn't expected a yes. However, I hadn't expected nothing to be said. The fact that I wasn't even worth an answer caused a stirring.