“Of course.” He picked up his backpack and pulled out his laptop.
Giving him a tentative smile, she took it and got to work in the love seat. Ryan sighed, sitting next to Apollo and taking out his phone. He shot off an email to Professor Bismarck, and opened some of his other messages.
She came to stand next to him. “Sorry. Can you put your password in?”
“Webslinger,” Apollo answered next to him.
“Okay.”
She sat down again, a small frown appearing between her eyebrows. She typed away, and he watched her without her noticing. She seemed absorbed, and he went back to his email, opening one from Cai to the group.
Supervisor said no to hiring Nora. Won’t even take an application. I went to her supervisor, and was shut down. Have a call in to the director, but it’s not looking good. Sorry.
He was angry. She’d been cleared in the school shooting, and not only that, but she risked her life to save those students. It didn’t matter though, everyone believed the bad press, and ignored the police statement declaring her innocence.
A headache built behind his eyes; another thing to add to his ever-growing list of problems. He caught Nora watching him, biting her fingernails, but when he caught her eye, she dropped her hand into her lap.
“Are you okay?”
He paused, contemplating lying to her before dismissing it. “Overwhelmed.”
She closed the laptop and put it on the seat before sliding in next to Ryan and laying her head on his shoulder. “Take me off your list.”
He started. “What do you mean?”
“Your to-do list. Whatever it is you think you have to do for me, you don’t.”
He tried not to get angry, but he was already on the edge, and the idea he could just wipe her off the list of things he wanted, and needed, to care about, pissed him off. Did she think he’d forget about it because she told him to?
He must not have hid his feelings as well as he thought, because she quickly began to speak, “I meant…” Her voice trembled. “I…” She swallowed thickly. “I have an interview in thirty minutes. I’m going to get ready.”
He watched her go without saying anything.
“What the fuck, Ryan?” He met Apollo’s disappointed stare.
“She can’t expect I’m going to let all this go? Who does she think I am?”
“I think she wants to make sure you don’t give up law school because you’re stressed about her.”
He shook her head. “Of course I’m stressed about her. She can’t find a job, and she owes how much to the school now?”
Apollo didn’t answer, he was busy staring over Ryan’s shoulder. He turned, knowing he’d see Nora there. Her dusky skin was pale, and she gnawed on her lip. “I’ll be back in a little while,” she choked out.
“Nora.” He stood.
She held out her hand. “It’s okay,” she said quickly. “I know. I’m going to figure it out.”
She opened the door to leave but then turned around again. “I know you worry about me, Ryan,” she said quietly, her tone cowed. “But I don’t want you to start resenting me. I want to be a help, and not a burden.”
She went out the door.
“Nora,” He called to her.
She stopped, waiting. He wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t resent her, but he did feel like he had a lot of things to fix, and he had no idea how he was going to do it. When he didn’t say anything, she glanced over at Apollo and then back at him. “See you in a bit. Don’t wait dinner, okay?”
She closed the door behind him. Apollo stood quickly, brushing past Ryan and nudging him none-too-lightly. “Nice fucking move.”
He sighed, wiping his hand down his face. That’s for sure.
No Choice
Nora wrapped her arms around her chest, walking quickly down the hill toward the north end of town. She had a very specific place in mind. She was going to ask for her old job back.
She went into Sam’s Quik Stop and Deli without hesitating. Sam, the owner, would be in the back, like he was every day, listening to Lebanese pop music and the police scanner.
Rapped quickly on the office door, she opened it even before Sam’s accented voice asked, “What? You better not ask for another break, Victoria, because I don’t pay you to take breaks.”
“It’s me, Sam.”
Her old boss was a small, wiry man with unnaturally dark hair, and bright blue eyes. He was a hard worker, and expected the same from his employees. She’d never had a problem with him, and she suspected she was fired as much for missing work as for being a suspect in a shooting. In all probability, missing work probably weighed more heavily against her than the shooting.
“I need my job back.” She spoke quickly, not giving the man a moment to tell her to leave.
“Nora, Nora, Nora,” he began, shaking his head and making the sign of the cross. He was Orthodox and she had always found the way he made the sign, head, heart, right, left, to be fascinating. “No.”
“Sam,” she argued. “You know I’m a hard worker. I’m healed. I won’t miss work again.”
He shook his head, gesturing to the old orange vinyl chair he kept in his office for guests. “Nora. You’re bad for business. I won’t hire you.”
She crossed her arms, and tried to be fierce in a non-threatening way. “You hire actual criminals, Sam. People with records.”
He shrugged. “They are cheap. And I have video.” He gestured to the surveillance cameras he set up around the store, one on the register, another on the merchandise, and a third by the gas pumps.
“I’m cheap.” She blushed, but the idiom went right over Sam’s head.
He got a gleam in his eyes the way he always did when he thought about saving money, but then he shook his head. “No, Nora. Not even at less than what I paid you. I can’t risk losing business. I’m sorry.”
To his credit, he did actually seem sorry. He wasn’t a bad guy; he was a cheap-skate, but he wasn’t cruel. He was also the hardest worker she knew. Every moment was spent at his mini-marts, if not this one, than the second he’d acquired with his brother. The business was their life. She was fighting a losing battle.
“Please, Sam,” she asked, begged.
He reached across his desk, patting her on the shoulder. “I’m sorry, Nora. You are a good worker. The best I had. Not like this lazy whale.” He gestured to the video camera showing the new employee, who happened to be the thinnest women Nora’d ever seen, tapping at her phone. “Victoria! Get off your phone before I take it!”
The woman flipped Sam her middle finger and he shook his head. “Never hire family, Nora. Advice I give you for free.”
“Thanks, Sam.” She smiled despite herself.
He sighed, patting his dark hair into place. “Come back to me in a year, Nora. Maybe if nobody remembers you, I’ll hire you.”
It was actually a pretty generous offer, so she smiled, holding out her hand. “Okay, Sam.”
He stood, shaking her hand and patting her again, this time on the cheek. “Good luck to you.”
She walked out, glancing toward the register as she walked by. The woman held up her phone, following her course across the store.
One interview down, one to go. She’d gotten an insta-interview at a call center, and was hopeful this would be something she could do. No customers would see her, and there wasn’t even a question on the application about whether she had been arrested for a crime.
The call center was in the heart of downtown Brownington. As she headed there, the store fronts eventually becoming cleaner, and fancier. They displayed items she could never hope to afford. For having lived most of the last decade in this town, she hadn’t ventured into the stores. Ever. She assumed they’d watch her to make sure she didn’t shoplift, or ignore her completely.
The call center was located in the basement of one of the fancy stores. She opened the beautiful antique door, and then down a rickety set of stairs. A hand lettered sign indicated the c
all center’s vague name, Consumer Human Resource. She stared at it in confusion, wondering what the hell it meant, but shrugged. She didn’t really care, as long as they hired her.
Past a dimly lit hallway, and through a heavy door was a line of cubicles, each of them occupied by someone on the phone. The office was loud enough she didn’t hear the door close behind her. There was no reception, and nobody seemed to care she was there.
She tried to find someone who looked like they were in charge. Standing awkwardly for a moment, she started walking up and down the aisles of cubicles. Toward the back of the office, was a smaller office. A man stared at the computer. He looked up when she knocked on the door.
“Yeah?” He was wearing a dull yellow button-down shirt. It was short-sleeved, and probably hadn’t fit in years. He had a small, patchy goatee, and light brown-hair. He seemed tired and bored, and like he didn’t give a shit who Nora was.
“I applied online,” she told him. “I’m here for an interview.”
“Oh yeah,” the man said, rustling through some papers on his desk. “Tina Higgins?”
She shook her head.
“Starr O’Neil?”
She shook her head again and the man rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you just tell me who you are.”
“Nora Leslie.”
The man’s eyes opened wider and he swallowed thickly. “Oh. Yeah.” His hands trembled as he shuffled the papers. “I remember. Ummm. Thanks for coming in, but the position has been filled.”
Her stomach cramped. She didn’t want to work here. It looked like a place where souls went to die, or an earthly purgatory where sins were worked off at $7.25 an hour. But she needed to work.
“Are you sure? There’s nothing?” She swallowed her pride. “I’m desperate.”
A sheen of sweat appeared on his brow and before her eyes, rings of sweat appeared near his arms. Nora tried not to be disgusted.
“No,” he said, and though his voice trembled, he had the air of someone who would not be swayed. “I’m sure. Thanks for stopping by. There’s nothing. You can go. Now.”
He reached a hand to his forehead, wiping off the sweat with the back of his hand, and she hitched her bag up higher on her shoulder. The man flinched, startling her. He was terrified. Of her. It was one thing for her to plead her case, market herself, but another to stand here terrifying a pathetic middle-manager.
So she gave up, and walked out. Out of the beige underworld and up the stairs to the carefully quaint downtown. She walked by stores, some with help wanted signs. If she couldn’t get a job at an anonymous call center, she definitely wasn’t going to be hired as a barista making $7 mocha-crappa-chinos.
Now the stress of the job search was over, and she was vindicated in her belief she couldn’t get hired, a different depressing-as-hell thought took its place: she was messing up the guys’ life. Ryan had come right out with it, and she could see the beginnings of resentment forming. The tendrils of that feeling would reach out and strangle the relationship they were attempting.
As if it isn’t challenging enough, working out a relationship between the six of us. Nora brought nothing but added stress. She stressed them emotionally, and now she stressed them financially.
Ryan needed to concentrate on himself. He should be worrying about law school, not her. None of them should be putting her before their careers, or dreams.
But they were.
After Saturday, each and every one of the guys had rearranged their plans around her. Cai went after Tyler. Ryan tried to get her out of the contract. Apollo had been her emotional safety. He literally shoved aside his homework to take her in his arms. Matisse skipped classes today to go to the business office with her. And Seok. Seok risked an assault charge to what? Avenge her? She was the idiot who got in the car.
And was what happened so bad, really? Dr. Murray was offering her a hell of a lot. So he scared her. He told her why. He was a psychologist, and it made sense, even if it was an asshole way to get the information.
If she didn’t do this, she’d be saddled with debt she had no hope of paying off.
There was state assistance.
NO. She refused to go that path. She’d make her own way. She’d compromise herself to do it.
It’s only your life, she argued with herself. It’s only your mind.
But I’m strong, she countered. I can do this. I am strong enough. And then on the heels of her thought came, I’d have to lie.
No. She wouldn’t lie. She’d explain to the guys. They had to understand. There was no other choice.
Honesty
She realized she was sneaking into the house when she closed the door quietly behind her. If no one noticed her, she wouldn’t have to tell them what happened. She wouldn’t have to explain how she’d failed to find a job, and how she was going to stay in Dr. Murray’s study.
“Any luck?” Cai came down the stairs, his strong, golden hands gripping the bannister. She noticed the way the muscles in his arms flexed and contracted as he moved.
She shook her head. “Cai,” she sighed. “It’s not going to happen.”
He reached for her and she went into his arms. He stood a step above her, holding her close and making her feel perfectly safe. She could hear his heart beating, and his voice vibrated through his body. “How many interviews have you had?”
She swallowed. “Three. Four, if you count going back to the deli and begging for my old job back. They all have the same answer.”
“The shooting.”
“I can’t be around families, children. It doesn’t matter what the papers say, what the police say. The idea is out there. It’s the only thing people think when they see me.”
He squeezed her harder and she pulled her arms between them, wrapping her fists in his shirt. She took a shuddering breath, wiping angry tears against the back of her hands. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” He sounded fierce. “It’s unnecessary.”
“No go?” Apollo’s voice was quiet and kind.
She shook her head, turning around. Apollo reached for her, but then clenched his hands, letting them fall to his sides. Cai gave her a small push toward him and he caught her up. “You don’t need a job, baby. I’ll take care of you. I promise.”
She tilted her head back, craning her neck so she could see him. “I don’t want you to take care of me, Apollo. Not this way.”
His eyes narrowed, and he gave a short nod. “But it’s the way it needs to be right now.”
She gripped his arms, holding him to her, afraid the next thing she said would send him spinning away from her. “I could go back. I wonder if I should go back to the study, Apollo. I… I really think I should.”
Like she expected, he took a step away from her, but she pulled him back. He stared down at her, his lips pressed together tightly. He gave a quick shake of his head. “Not safe. Nora. It’s not safe.”
From the corner of her eye, Cai stepped down the stairs. He put his hand on Apollo’s shoulder, not to keep him in place, but to offer him support. It was then she realized a tremor moved through Apollo’s body. “Let me go, Nora.”
She did immediately, stepping back. His hand went to the back of his head, rubbing the short hair back and forth and then he dropped it, clenching it into a fist next to his leg. He moved fast, wrapping a large hand around her waist, and squeezing. Not hard enough to bruise, but enough to zing the new injury and nearly-healed bullet wounds on her side. She sucked in a breath, her body turning automatically, trying to get away from him.
Apollo’s eyes stayed fixed on hers. “You want to go back to that. Knowing he’ll hurt you. What is the saying, ‘it is easier to seek forgiveness than permission?’ ”
His hand slowly stroked the place he squeezed, easing the ache. “How can I let you go each day, knowing he could do this again?”
“I would worry about you, too.” Nora peered up at him. “If I knew you were doing something dangerous, something that could hurt you. I don’t know
how I’d deal with you going, but if it was what you had to do, what you wanted to do, I would.”
His pupils flared and he glanced at Cai. She followed his gaze, something appeared on Cai’s face she didn’t understand. She turned to Apollo in time to see him give a small shake of his head.
She realized she wasn’t the only one struggling. Apollo was obviously hiding something and wasn’t ready to share it with her.
But Cai knew.
There was still so much about the guys that remained a mystery. Her drama was splashed across headlines. She didn’t have the option of hiding and letting her true self slowly emerge in time.
Their relationship formed fast. She hadn’t gone on dates. She’d never worn make-up, and made sure she shaved her legs. She never had the option of making a spectacular first impression. The guys met her at her most vulnerable, her ugliest, her lowest. And somehow decided they wanted her.
So this was her. This was her being lost and angry and with zero options. The question was, would they still want her this way?
She asked it, even though she was afraid of the answer. “Do you still want me?” She forced the words past her lips, not knowing what she’d do if they said no. “Do you want me even though I’m going to do this?”
“I want you,” Cai answered.
She reached for him, taking his hand in hers and holding it against her face. She kissed his palm while watching Apollo. He closed his eyes.
“You need to do this?”
Apollo opened his eyes, staring past Nora. Ryan stood with his arms crossed. His green eyes flashed and his jaw was tight. Seok and Matisse stood next to him. Seok slowly pulled the kerchief off his head, running his fingers through his hair. Matisse’s face had none of the cheekiness it usually held; all of them were studies in unsmiling solemnity.
Ryan stepped forward, and she moved closer.
“Do you?” he asked again, as if he had to push the words along his throat. “Do you need to do this?”
Finding Nora: A Reverse Harem Romance (The Searchers Book 2) Page 8