House of Nails

by Lenny Dykstra

  Charlie then somewhat pulled himself together and said to me, “I’m fine, bro, I’m fine. Thank you for being here.”

  The following night, I was in the downstairs guest room, where I had been staying. It was about eight P.M., when Charlie walked in and said, “Do you have a minute? I need to talk to you.” I noticed that Charlie was emotional, almost like he was about to break down and cry. He wasn’t annihilated either. I could tell he had been drinking, but he had the kind of buzz that brings out courage, the truth-serum buzz.

  I replied, “Sure, what’s up, bro, are you all right?” He came over to the couch I was sitting on and sat next to me on the left. “Dude, what’s going on, talk to me,” I said.

  Charlie then leaned forward, turned toward me, and said in a soft tone, “I got the HIV.”

  I didn’t follow what he meant. “What? I don’t understand.”

  As I was getting ready to ask him another question, Charlie sat up, tears dripping down his face, and said, “HIV. I am HIV positive.” He went on to say, “Dude, you have no idea what it was like to get that news.”

  I was stunned. I have never felt so bad for a person, and I became emotional. “Are you sure?” He nodded. I didn’t know what to say except “I’m so sorry, Charlie.” But I remember thinking to myself, You need to turn this conversation around, Lenny. Give Charlie hope. That’s when I said, “Charlie, you can live forever with the medicine they have now. Look at Magic Johnson.”

  Then Charlie did a complete 180 and said, “Yeah, bro, I’m fine. I got it under control.”

  I asked, “How long have you had it?”

  “Five years.”

  Wow, I said to myself. “How did you get it, needles? One of the women you have been with?”

  I could tell he didn’t want to talk about it, so he just said, “Something like that.”

  The next night, Charlie walked in the room and just started talking. He told me how he was being extorted by people for millions and millions of dollars. I got up off the couch and said with authority, “Fuck it, Charlie, go public. You can’t live like this—in fact, this isn’t living. You have to take this head-on and get in front of this thing. It all makes sense now,” I told him. “No wonder you acted the way you did with Warner Bros.” I went on to say, “Charlie, you have been living with impending doom for five years. You do not have to live this way, Charlie. If this is handled right, then you will not only save your own life, you will literally help and give hope to millions and millions of people around the world.”

  I then asked him, “What do your parents”—Martin and Janet—“say, do they want you to go public?”

  Charlie didn’t hesitate for one second. “Yes, they both have been trying to get me to go public. They see what it’s doing to me.”

  I fired back, “Charlie, I will hunt down the best person on the planet who handles crisis situations like this. This person will know the best way to do this, the best way for Charlie Sheen—that’s what matters. You have to go public so you can be in control of everything, as opposed to having to play defense. You and I both know this will eventually get out; you can’t stop it, Charlie. The media is too powerful.”

  I then asked, “Charlie, do you want to go public? Are you ready to go public?”

  He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Yes. I can’t live like this anymore. I’m ready.”

  I found the perfect person to help Charlie manage this very delicate situation, Larry Winokur, cofounder and co-CEO of BWR Public Relations. Larry is one of the smartest men I have ever met, a well-known public relations crisis manager who has represented presidents and billionaires. There was nobody better. Larry also turned out to be a very special person and friend.

  Everything was falling into place. Charlie was eager to get this dark demon off his back and be free again.

  What followed was one of the worst days of my life. Literally one hour before the meeting with Winokur, who agreed to help Charlie for free, I received a call from Winokur. “I’m on my way over, but Charlie won’t answer his phone. He went dark.”

  I was so disappointed. We were one fucking hour away! Charlie had been completely on board. I knew his people must have talked him out of it. They knew that once Charlie had clarity, they would all be eliminated. They would no longer be able to steal from him, and they weren’t about to let that happen. So they sabotaged the plan.

  Unable to contact Charlie, I felt compelled to write him a letter, detailing our conversations. My hope was that he would read the letter and summon the strength and courage to do what needed to be done.

  FROM: Lenny K. Dykstra

  TO: Charlie Sheen

  SENT: Saturday, November 29, 2014 12:55 PM

  SUBJECT: Private and Confidential

  Charlie:

  I am writing this letter to you in an attempt to save your life. In my world, loyalty is everything! And a true friend doesn’t give up on someone he cares about, especially when that friend’s life is on the line.

  Your life is more important than the bullshit drama you deal with every day. When the people that you think you can trust tell you lies, I am not going to judge you, or blame you.

  Charlie, we sat in your house many nights talking about this, and I remain resolute in my belief that your decision to go public and get ahead of this thing is a must, not only for you but also for all of your fans around the world. There is no reason to wait any longer. The time is now.

  For that to happen, you must take this “head on” and get in front of this thing. I remember like it was yesterday when I asked you, “Charlie, do you want to go public? Are you ready to go public?” You looked me straight in the eyes and said, “If you think about it, I have everything to gain, and nothing to lose.”

  As I mentioned earlier, taking responsibility, and having the courage to go public, will not only set you free, you will be in a position to help millions and millions of people around the world. Charlie, you have the power to change lives, to help people, and let them know that they don’t have to live in fear or ignorance about HIV anymore. Moreover, you can tell the world, “If it can happen to Charlie Sheen, it can happen to anyone. HIV does not discriminate!”

  You have no idea how many people love you. Wait until you take ownership of this, and sit down at the press conference with Martin on your left and Janet on your right. From that day forward, I can say with certainty, your life will immediately change for the better.

  Charlie, when we were having those talks at your house, you became so emotional, I almost cried with you. That was when I realized that the “pain and suffering” you have been living with for the last five years must be indescribable. Nobody truly understands. And it was then that I realized, “Right now, my friend is a broken man.” I even asked you, “Charlie, how do you do it? How do you live like this?” I then said, “You do not have to live this way. If this is handled right, then you will not only save your own life, you will literally help and give hope to millions.”

  You are not like a baseball player, Charlie, in fact, not even close, as you are world famous! The whole world knows who Charlie Sheen is. I told you then and I will tell you now, Charlie, you will be “bigger than life,” as your fellow actors and fans will rally around you and respect you for having the courage to go public and take ownership of this.

  And, more importantly, you won’t have any reason to continue killing yourself with drugs and alcohol.

  So, dig in and fight!

  You have “shocked the house” your whole career; and as soon as they count you out, you always land on your feet and prove to everyone that you are a winner. The same thing will happen here, as you will be bigger and better than ever . . . for the right reasons!

  The Charlie Sheen everyone knows and loves can be that guy again. As people around the world will get to see the humble side of Charlie Sheen. The Charlie Sheen I know is a great person, a gifted person, as your ability to entertain people can’t be taught.

  Charlie, and I say
this with all sincerity, I believe your biggest and best days are still ahead of you. You will finally be able to live your life, and not look over your shoulder worrying about who is coming out of the woodworks next.

  The ball is in your court, Charlie. I have done all I can do. The world is ready for this news, and then you can move forward and live the life you deserve, as opposed to living in impending doom.

  In closing, if you are truly being honest with yourself, then you know everything in this letter not only makes sense, it will literally change your life. There is nothing but upside, and anyone that tells you different is a person that doesn’t care about you.

  In closing, I know the real Charlie Sheen. He is an awesome person. The public needs to know the real Charlie Sheen, too. You grow by giving and helping others; it can change you in ways you never expected.

  Respectfully,

  Your Friend,

  Lenny Dykstra

  Charlie distanced himself from me after that letter, and we have maintained that distance ever since. Charlie helped me a great deal by convincing me to stay at Promises. And I did everything in my power to help him when he needed me most, because I owed him that. I acted on his recommendation; he didn’t act on mine.

  Approximately one year later, Charlie was finally forced to go public about his HIV. The consequences remain to be seen.

  15

  1993 NLCS: PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES VS. ATLANTA BRAVES

  How you play the game is for college ball. When you’re playing for money, winning is the only thing that matters.

  —LEO DUROCHER

  As we entered the 1993 season, there were certainly no reasonable expectations by any of the so-called experts that we would achieve greatness that year. You can’t really blame them, in that we did finish dead last in the National League East the season before, suffering through a long, miserable season with just 70 wins. On top of that, it’s not as if we completed a major overhaul of our roster.

  Moreover, 1992 was not an exception. It was the norm, as the Phillies finished last five times in eleven seasons, from 1987 to 1997, exceeding 78 wins only once, in 1993. Therefore, 1993 was a welcome aberration in the Phillies’ otherwise putrid display of ineptitude over more than a decade. Needless to say, the starving fans of Philly turned out in droves to propel us, and ride us, to heights that few, if any, thought we could achieve.

  Our lineup featured our leader, Darren “Dutch” Daulton, who managed our pitching staff extremely well and had a great year offensively, at catcher. The staff consisted of Curt Schilling, Danny Jackson, Tommy Greene, Terry Mulholland, and Ben Rivera. Schill, Jackson, Greene, and Mulholland combined for more than 800 innings of work in ’93, an average of more than 200 innings per starter. They were complemented by a bullpen that included David West, a lefty setup man; Larry Andersen; Roger Mason, who we acquired during the season; and our closer, the unforgettable Mitch Williams.

  West, a very large dude with an undeniable edge, learned how to harness his impressive heater and became an integral part of our pen, leading the team in appearances with 76. LA, as he would come to be known in Philly, is far more acknowledged as a beloved member of the Phillies’ broadcasting team. However, he was an excellent right-handed reliever, who had the best ERA on our staff in ’93 at the age of forty. Mason provided us with another quality right-handed option in the pen. Which brings us to Mitch, who was decidedly different from Jesse Orosco and Randy Myers, the closers I played with for the Mets.

  In a previous life, Mitch could have been the closer for Alfred Hitchcock’s suspense thrillers. Hitchcock’s philosophy was to “always make the audience suffer as much as possible.” Mitch adhered to that philosophy throughout the ’93 season. Given that, it is important to remember that in addition to his Hitchcockian style, Mitch must have been a disciple of Harry Houdini, as he had an amazing ability to escape from precarious predicaments that were invariably self-created. That Houdini-like quality allowed him to register 43 saves in 1993.

  Our everyday lineup featured yours truly playing center field (no platoon) and leading off. Jim Fregosi, our manager, who pushed all the right buttons that year, employed a platoon at both corner outfield positions. Milt Thompson, a slick-fielding left-handed hitter, platooned with Pete “Inky” Incaviglia in left field. Inky was perhaps the greatest batting practice hitter I’ve ever seen. He hit so many bombs in practice that he could’ve taken out small cities with his power. In right, we had a tandem of Wes Chamberlain (righty) and Jim Eisenreich (lefty).

  In the infield, we had John Kruk, who looked like anything but an athlete, at first base. I know most people would have a hard time believing me when I say that John Kruk was a damn good athlete. Krukker was born to hit and was way smarter than his West Virginia, Academy Award persona would lead others to believe. Mickey Morandini, a left-handed hitter, manned second base, and Kevin Stocker, who was called up from the minors during the season, was our shortstop. Despite playing only 70 games for us, Stocker had the greatest season of his career, by far, in ’93. At third was Dave Hollins, known as Head, a switch-hitter with a quiet demeanor coupled with a menacing glare that instilled fear in opponents and teammates alike.

  Arguably two of the biggest reasons for our success in ’93 were the versatility and contributions from our bench, led by super-sub Mariano Duncan, who could be plugged in at any infield position. We also had backup catcher Todd Pratt, backup first baseman Ricky Jordan, and utility infielder Kim Batiste.

  We were not necessarily a team that beat you with power, as Dutch and Inky led the team with 24 homers each. I had a career-high 19 homers in ’93, with a little help from my “friends,” and Head hit 18 homers. What we were extremely adept at was getting on base and hitting balls in the gaps. With the exception of Kim Batiste at .298, all of our position players, including bench players, had an on-base percentage of .300 or greater. Moreover, I had 129 walks, Dutch had 117, Krukker had 111, and Head had 85. In short, we were grinders, forcing pitchers to throw a lot of pitches. This served to drive up their pitch counts, which led to less innings pitched by our opponents’ starters. In turn, this exposed their bullpens and gave us more opportunities to hit against their middle relievers, who invariably are the most vulnerable members of the pen.

  As I mentioned previously, we were great gap hitters, with six players hitting 20 or more doubles, and seven of us with at least four triples. I believe this is indicative of how disciplined we were as a team, in our at-bats. We worked pitchers continually and took advantage of their mistakes.

  Nonetheless, many people believe that we were just incredibly lucky that year, that seemingly everything fell into place perfectly for us. Granted, some of us, myself included, had career years. Most of us outperformed our career batting averages. But most important, we were healthy. Dutch and I achieved our career highs in games played in a season in 1993. Krukker, Inky, and Milt would never play in more games in a season for the remainder of their careers. Also, many of us were at the ages where careers tend to peak. Regardless of the whys, we came together as a team and maximized our collective talents. Fregosi did a tremendous job that year of utilizing the deep, versatile bench that we had. Furthermore, because of our starters’ ability to go deep into games, he was able to deploy the bullpen in the best fashion.

  We won the National League East in 1993 with a regular-season record of 97-65. Standing in the way of a National League pennant were the National League West winners, the Atlanta Braves, who sported a regular-season record of 104-58. The Braves were in the playoffs for the third straight year and were the clear favorites to go on to the World Series. With the best pitching staff in baseball, featuring three future Hall of Famers in Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine, and John Smoltz, as well as Steve Avery, who was a stud in his own right, the Braves presented a formidable challenge. However, our blue-collar band of brothers, with mullets flowing, reveled in our underdog role.

  We had energized a city with our scrappy style and never say die attitude. With m
ultiple come-from-behind victories that year, we were never out of it. We relished the idea of being underestimated; it merely increased the size of the chips on our shoulders. We had overcome the odds all year, and we were not about to stop now.

  We were an extremely confident bunch, especially when Schill was on the hill. Everyone would get on Schilling because he cared so much about his numbers, but I would always tell them, “I wish we could have five of him.” I like knowing what to expect, and Schill rarely disappointed. He peppered the strike zone, so he was constantly working ahead of the hitters. He did his homework so that he was thoroughly prepared for every game. Rarely did he ever shake off Dutch.

  This translated into a fast-paced game, which helps you defensively because you are always on your toes. With Schill pitching, we knew if we scored a few runs, we were going to put up a W, and we would be off the field in two hours and fifteen minutes. That gave me more time to put up a second W after the game.

  The first game of the NLCS went our way when Kim Batiste, our backup utility infielder, doubled in Krukker to win the game. This was poetic justice for Batiste, who had earlier committed an error that allowed the Braves to tie the game. Games 2 and 3 went the Braves’ way with Maddux and Glavine keeping us at bay.

  Down 2 games to 1, Game 4 became, in essence, a must-win for us. We led 2–1 for most of the game, as Mitch came on in the ninth for the save. As was his usual, Mitch walked the leadoff hitter and the next guy got a hit. Standing in the outfield, I’m saying to myself, What the fuck? Here we go again! Thankfully, Mitch got Ron Gant to hit into a game-ending double play, and we were tied at two games apiece, with Schill going next.

  Schill was our horse, and we had the utmost confidence that he would plow the way, leading us to victory. Game 5 in Atlanta was vintage Schill, as he pounded the strike zone, dominating the Braves for eight shutout innings. We were up 3–0 in the ninth, when he walked the leadoff hitter and the next hitter reached base on an error. Suddenly, the tying run was at the plate. To add insult to injury, Fregosi decided to bring in Mitch, causing me to have angina in center field. Unquestionably, Mitch wiggled out of plenty of jams, most of which were of his own doing. Nonetheless, he put us through a great deal of unnecessary pain and suffering.