I fought Finnian next and lost. He helped me to my feet after I yielded, his usual grin in place.
“Good bout,” I managed to wheeze out, still regaining my breath after his winding.
He shook his head. “You should have won it. You know you should.”
I just shrugged, but Thornton eyed me disapprovingly when I returned to the stands.
“Sloppy, Elena, very sloppy. You should have had him more than once. He may be your friend, but you can’t afford to hesitate. Not for anything.”
I climbed slowly back to my seat. I had hesitated, reluctant to hurt Finnian. And though he told me I should have won now, I could have sworn he had given me a pleading look down there in the bout.
I glanced across at his twinkling eyes and wanted to kick myself. Of course he had. No doubt on purpose. I might never be called on to fight my friends in the real world, but Thornton was still right. I couldn’t let myself hesitate. Who knew what distractions I might face on the battle field.
I didn’t lose to any of my friends again.
Two weeks after that I fought Dariela for the first time. When my barrage of raw power broke through her shield and she shouted, “Yield,” I barely had time to invoke my pre-set limitations and break it off before it slammed into her.
When I left the arena floor, I was greeted by total silence. I kept my eyes on the ground as I climbed back to my seat. Whatever was on their faces, I didn’t want to see it.
For the next week, I found it hard to focus, and every single one of my friends commented at least once on how jittery I seemed. But I couldn’t help it. There was only one bout left. The one bout I didn’t want to ever face.
Sure enough, when we all took our seats in the arena the following week, Thornton called my bout first.
“Elena and Lucas.”
I forced myself to stand and walk down the steps to the arena floor. I couldn’t even face him to speak to him. How could I fight him?
All too soon we stood a short distance apart, both of our swords gripped ready. How long ago our training sessions felt. We had stood across from each other many times then, but it had been different in the darkness, without an audience.
Immediately I thought of how the moonlight reflected and enhanced the intensity of his green eyes, and how utterly black the waves of his hair looked at night. And then I remembered how it felt to stand so close I could feel his body heat, and the shape of his arms around me, his body pressed against mine.
I thought of how much I owed him, and that he had done none of it for me. He was the prince of Ardann, and I was the Spoken Mage. It had always been what defined our relationship, and it always would be.
I barely heard Thornton call the start of the bout. My distraction delayed my defensive parry, and Lucas faltered slightly, caught off guard by the weakness of my response to his attack. But his surprise lasted less than a breath, and I had to stumble backward out of range in order to recover myself and prepare my own attack.
The force of Lucas’s compositions made even Dariela’s seem weak by comparison. I suspected he had also known who he would face today since I couldn’t imagine he poured such strength into his workings every week.
I had to devote far too much of my energy to my shield, and by the time he had used all three of his workings, leaving me still with one final composition to go, I could feel the exhaustion setting in. I composed quickly, cutting off my shield as soon as I heard him yield.
I swayed slightly, and for a second I thought he meant to cross over to offer me the support of his arm. But the moment passed, and he returned to the stands, leaving me to trail behind.
I expected a reprimand from Thornton for pushing myself so far, but when my eyes caught his, he said nothing. I swallowed, something in his face making my feet move slightly faster as I hurried to get up to the top row of seating.
As I glanced away from him, my eyes fell on Calix instead. He shook his head, something almost like wonder in his eyes, and I turned my face from him as well.
If only I could have avoided fighting Lucas forever.
The next day was a rest day, as it always was after our arena day, and for once I didn’t study. And I was glad I had chosen to laze in my room after lunch when a knock sounded, and an unexpected visitor appeared.
“Jasper!” I threw myself at my brother.
“It’s a nice day,” he said. “You can tell it’s almost summer. Shall we walk in the gardens?”
I nodded, holding back my questions until we had left the building and walked alone through the shrubs.
“All right, what are you really doing here?” I asked. “Because I haven’t seen you since my birthday. Plus, I’ve seen the gardens you have at the University. You didn’t come here to stroll through a small patch of greenery with me.”
He sighed. “I should have come before now. I wish I could get away more.”
“No, Jasper.” I put my hand on his arm. “I didn’t mean it like that. When do I ever get over to the University to visit you? You’re working hard for the sake of our whole family, and you already spend enough time worrying about your little sister.”
He bit his lip and glanced over at me. “I do worry about you. And I’m not the only one.”
I frowned at him. “What’s that supposed to mean? Have you been back home again?”
He shook his head. “I don’t mean Mother or Father, although I imagine they worry enough about both of us.” He hesitated, and I stopped, pulling him to a stop as well.
“What is it, Jasper? What’s going on?”
“I had a visitor this morning,” he told me. “At the University. A most unexpected visitor.”
I stared at him as he paused to clear his throat.
“It was the prince. Prince Lucas himself came to visit me at the University.” He pinned me with a penetrating stare. “For some reason he seemed to think you wouldn’t listen to him if he talked to you directly. Despite his being royalty and all. He seemed to be laboring under the delusion you might actually listen to me.”
He rolled his eyes. “Naturally I disabused him of that notion, but I promised to try anyway. So here I am. Under royal orders, you might say.”
My lips compressed into a thin line, and I started walking again, marching faster than I had before.
“I can’t believe he went to my brother,” I muttered to myself, before rounding on Jasper.
“And did His Royal Highness say what exactly he’s so concerned about? Other than my failure to give his royal self proper respect? I suppose I was expected to lose to him yesterday.”
“You beat the prince? In combat, you mean?” Jasper’s eyes flew over my head to the arena in the distance behind us. “Then it’s as bad as he said. Elena, what are you doing?”
My steps slowed again, and I let him pull me to another stop. But when I looked up at him, I knew my eyes were defiant.
“I’m becoming the best,” I said. “Isn’t that what training is all about? To be the best we can be? Well, it turns out I can be the best.”
He shook his head, and it was hard to keep meeting his eyes, given the worry reflecting back at me.
“Elena, we’ve talked about this before. It isn’t a wise idea to draw so much attention to yourself. To be so open about what you can do. There have already been rumors swirling since Abalene. You wouldn’t believe the number of people at the University who asked me about it.”
“Jasper.” I paused before going on. “That’s exactly it.”
“What’s it?”
“Abalene just proves my point. I’ve tried holding back, hiding my strength. But it didn’t do any good. I just end up forgetting myself and doing or saying the wrong thing. So now I’m trying the opposite. They’ll have to acknowledge me as one of them eventually. Once I’ve made myself so strong no one can ever touch me.”
“Oh, Elena.” He looked sad and utterly weary. “You know that much strength is impossible.”
I bit my lip and looked away. “I have to try
something,” I whispered.
Jasper wrapped his arms around me, and I let my head rest against his shoulder in silence. A long time passed before I sighed and pulled back.
“I was surprised to hear the rumors about your wins at the Academy,” he said. “I thought, after your birthday…” He looked away. “Well I thought you wouldn’t be here. That you were planning to conscript straight away. Not that you can’t change your mind…Clemmy has been healed now, after all.”
“That doesn’t matter,” I said. “I already told you. I would never abandon her.”
“No, I didn’t think so.” He looked at me. “You’ve still got plenty of time, I suppose. You won’t be nineteen until next year.”
“I couldn’t take that risk,” I said. “I enlisted the day after my birthday. Our family is free, Jasper. I saw the mage cross our names out of the records myself.”
“But I don’t understand. You’re still here?”
“They intervened,” I told him, not able to bring myself to specify who. “They had me posted here to the Academy. But, officially, I’m Private Elena.”
He slowly shook his head. “Do you mean it? Really?”
I nodded.
“Remarkable. Truly remarkable. We never could have guessed it would end up like this.” He reflected silently for a moment, and I could almost see a visible weight lifting from him. He had always hated having to leave our family’s burden to me and Clemmy.
“But this is amazing news, Elena. Far better than any of us could have hoped for.” He looked down at me and seemed to deflate a little. “As long as you don’t go and get yourself killed some other way.”
I chewed on my lip. “And that’s why I need to make myself strong, Jasper. I still have nearly three years of my term. Anything could happen. And if I do find myself on the front lines, I have every intention of surviving. No matter what they throw at me.”
He shook his head, wonder in his eyes. “I almost believe you could do it, too.”
“Good,” I said. “Now I just need everyone else to believe it.”
Chapter 22
The week after that, on the second year arena day, Thornton called my name twice. He had returned to his usual practice of only one bout per person per week some time ago, so I wasn’t expecting it.
Unlike the others, I had never fought twice in one day. And also unlike the others, I couldn’t prepare my compositions across the whole week. With a limit of three per bout, they only needed to prepare one a day to cover two bouts. And many of them used composition class to craft them.
For me, on the other hand, two bouts meant I had to produce six workings within the one session. Six workings strong enough to either break through or withstand the stored strength in the workings of my year mates. And that was after producing yet more all week in composition and my own training.
I wasn’t prepared for hearing my name a second time and had expended too much energy winning the first bout.
The second was against Weston, and though it galled me, I had to yield. It was either that or push myself dangerously close to the edge. After nearly two years at the Academy, I should be so accustomed to their gloating that it wouldn’t even register.
But I did feel a pang as I traipsed back up to my seat, Weston already having sat down to the gleeful congratulations of his friends. Never mind that it had been Weston’s first bout of the day, and he had been using stored compositions.
“Always expect the unexpected, Elena,” Thornton said as I passed him.
I wanted to snap at him, but I knew he was right. Out on the battle field, my fights wouldn’t come in neat bouts with limits and set numbers of compositions. Already I found my mind turning over the first bout, considering how I could have won it with less energy.
And the next week I was ready. I won both bouts.
Thornton called me twice every week after that. At first Coralie grumbled on my behalf, complaining that it wasn’t fair, but Finnian just shook his head.
“Thornton doesn’t care about being fair. He cares about pushing us. About giving us the skills to survive.”
And when I continued to win even Coralie stopped grumbling.
I noticed the third and fourth year students watching me in the library and the dining hall, but I did my best to ignore them. They hadn’t been interested in me when they thought me weak, and their interest didn’t matter now.
I did appreciate it when Walden stopped me one afternoon in the library to congratulate me, though.
“I can see my tutelage wasn’t needed,” he said with an encouraging smile. “From what I hear you’ve outdone yourself. You’re outshining them all.”
“I don’t know that I’d quite say that. But I’m doing my best.”
“And what a best it is!” He patted me on the shoulder. “No one could ask more, Elena, no one could ask more.”
He turned to go before swinging back around. “Oh, did Lorcan and Jessamine find you? He was saying something about needing you for testing earlier…”
When I shook my head, confused, he shrugged.
“Ah well, he is the head, after all. I’m sure he’ll track you down if he needs you badly enough. I suppose Acacia might have left by now, anyway. I heard her talking about having to take a short leave of absence from the Academy.”
“Acacia? What does she have to do with it?”
“Oh, to draw the blood, of course.” He smiled cheerfully. “I suppose they didn’t get what they needed from the last batch.”
Another student called for him, and he hurried off, waving farewell as he went. I remained where he had left me, trying to make sense of his words. Jessamine. Testing. Acacia. The last batch? Of what? My blood? But they had never taken my blood for testing.
A creeping cold crept over me. They had never taken it that I knew of. But I had been unconscious in Acacia’s rooms for two days at the end of last year. And she herself had admitted to keeping me that way with a composition.
Another memory surfaced, and I had barely registered it before my feet were carrying me out of the library and toward Lorcan’s study. Clementine. Reese had taken Clementine’s blood after they had healed her, and Beatrice had looked confused, as if it was not, in fact, normal procedure.
As I strode across Lorcan’s waiting room, I heard the indistinct murmur of voices from inside his office. Walden had been right, the University Head was here today.
I didn’t pause or even knock, bursting in on them unannounced. They sat one on each side of his desk, their heads bent over something between them. Both jerked at my arrival, looking over toward me.
“Elena.” Lorcan frowned. “I didn’t send for you.”
“No, you didn’t.” I looked between them, unsure how to proceed now that I was actually here. “I came to ask you a question.”
Lorcan exchanged a look with Jessamine.
“Well, then, what is your question?”
I drew a deep breath. There was nothing for it but to ask straight out.
“Did you take my blood? Last year, while I was unconscious. Without asking me or even informing me?”
Despite my fears, I had half expected a denial. But none came. Instead Lorcan exchanged another loaded glance with Jessamine and then instructed me to close the door. I did so with hands that trembled.
“Sit down,” he said.
I remained standing, staring at him defiantly.
“Oh, sit down, Elena,” said Jessamine, fixing me with her keen eyes.
I sank into the closest chair, but my hands balled into fists.
“Were you the ones who instructed Reese to collect my sister’s blood?”
Lorcan actually looked guilty this time. “We heard about Beatrice’s task, and it seemed too good an opportunity to miss. There were things we couldn’t learn from your blood alone. We needed a close relative…”
His voice trailed away as he took in my expression.
“Come now, Elena. Reese didn’t do her any harm by taking it. In fact, from wh
at I hear, he and Beatrice did her a great deal of good. It was a small price in exchange.”
“Perhaps,” I said. “Although surely that depends on what you wanted it for. And nothing could excuse stealing it in such a manner.”
“Surely you must have known that we were studying your origin,” said Jessamine.
I stared at her. “My origin?”
“Yes, of course.” She looked impatient. “My dear girl, you are something entirely new. We must discover how you came to be. And whether your unique abilities can be replicated.” She looked across at Lorcan. “Whether, perhaps, they already have been.”
“Other spoken mages,” I breathed.
Lorcan nodded. “Yes, of course. Surely it has occurred to you what an enormous coincidence it is that you discovered your powers at all. How many more of you might exist out there, undiscovered due to illiteracy?”
Of course I had considered the possibility of other spoken mages. And I had known it would be a matter of interest to others. I didn’t know why I hadn’t thought about the inevitability of Lorcan and Jessamine investigating it. I jumped to my feet.
“Have you tested any others? Shown them a written word and had them speak it?” My eyes grew wide. “What if all commonborn can—”
“Yes, of course we have tried,” said Jessamine. “And you can rid yourself of that notion. We have run a number of tests on random subjects. No one else can replicate your ability. Not even the slightest whisper of power.”
I wasn’t sure if her expression was relieved or disappointed.
“And so we were forced to turn back to investigating you, specifically,” Lorcan said. “We began examining your blood over the summer and quickly realized we would need something to compare it with.”
“Of course you did,” I muttered to myself, sinking back into my seat. I looked up at them. “And what did you find?”
They exchanged yet another look.
“You’re talking about me,” I snapped. “My life. My origins.”
Voice of Command (The Spoken Mage Book 2) Page 20