A Light in the Dusk

by K J Sutton

  And as I step into the shower, I feel much better.

  An hour later, the three of us are heading deeper into the city, through the streets of Wardthorpe. When Drew told Nina I was joining them, I silently steeled myself for an argument, but she didn’t utter a word of protest. It surprises me even more when Nina throws her arm around my shoulders and aims for the doorway of a boutique.

  I had friends when I lived at the mansion, but many of them were staff, which meant we could only interact in secret. I still feel shame over that… but it doesn’t stop me from experiencing a sense of elation now. Everything is so different.

  Funny that my freedom had to be taken in order for me to experience it for the first time.

  Thoughts of home—or what used to be—makes me wonder how things are since I left. Has Henry harmed any of my friends? Is Valerie preparing for her own Awakening? What is Alexei doing now that he’s not driving me around? I think about the chisel set he’d gifted me with the night before my Awakening. It sits safely in my room at the boardinghouse, but I haven’t found the strength to open it, not when the letter from the man I thought was my father sits inside, too.

  And what of the woman I’d always wished was my mother? How is Gabriela adjusting to my absence?

  “Charlie?”

  Shoving these thoughts away, I force a smile in Nina’s direction. She’s standing in front of a clothing rack, sliding the hangers along the metal pole. “Sorry. Just lost in thought. What did you say?” I ask.

  Nina holds up a small, black dress. “I said we should find you some new clothes.”

  “Oh,” I say. I turn away, touching a beaded purse with the tip of my finger. It would be nice to have more things to wear besides some ratty jeans and an oversized sweatshirt. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

  Over a dozen outfit changes later, Nina convinces me to spend far too many of my coins on a new wardrobe. Drew reappears—throughout my fashion show, he occupied himself befriending the middle-aged human at the cash register—is kind enough to help me carry my bags as Nina hurries out the door, saying something about another shop. Drew and I follow at a more leisurely pace. It is Sunday, after all.

  “Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something,” Drew says suddenly, sidestepping a shapeshifter riding past on a red bicycle.

  I glance at him sidelong, unnerved by the tentative shadow in his voice. “Okay.”

  “I want to take you out. Officially.”

  It feels like there’s a hummingbird trapped in my stomach. Less than a moment later, the fear sets in. I glance around, wary that someone overheard him. “You’re hilarious,” I murmur, elbowing him in the ribs.

  Drew doesn’t laugh. “Thanks.”

  Though nothing about his stance changes, I pick up on the race of his pulse. Oh. He’s serious. “Vampires and humans don’t date, Drew,” I tell him, my tone gentle.

  His eyes flash. “Well, you know what they say—tradition is just peer pressure from the dead. And I don’t know about you, but I’m more interested in living just now.”

  I stop walking and face him. “This isn’t about tradition,” I say determinedly. “Drew, even if it weren’t illegal, even if I wasn’t worried about killing you, even if you weren’t going to get old while I don’t… there’s someone important to you who doesn’t want this.”

  At this, Drew raises his eyebrows. “Why do I get the feeling you’ve considered this before I even brought it up?”

  “Well, I have,” I counter, ignoring the heat in my cheeks. “But it doesn’t matter. Because of all those things I just said, plus so many other reasons.”

  “Okay,” he drags out the word. “So you’re not even—”

  Nina jogs back to where we’re standing. “Have you ever been to an open air market?” she demands without preamble.

  I shake my head. “No, I don’t think so.”

  “Excellent. Let’s go.”

  We follow Nina down the sidewalk, weaving in between other shoppers. The street is lit by pale moonlight and flickering street lamps. Then, we turn a corner, and everything changes.

  Lights are strung over the stalls, their bulbs lighting the cobblestone walkways between each vendor. Smells of fresh bread and dried meat waft through the air, along with the crisp scents of fruits and vegetables, pastries and sweets, and deep-fried… something. My stomach grumbles.

  “This place is amazing,” I murmur, my eyes darting around, taking it all in. A human male in fraying clothes stands behind a table. Tinkling things dangle and sway, flash and gleam over his head—he boasts about how the objects are magic.

  “It’s my favorite place,” Nina says, smiling. “And… I told someone I’d meet them here.”

  “Go on then.” Drew nudges his sister. “We’ll find you in a bit.”

  “Yeah, okay. Don’t forget to pick up some flowers for Ada—you know she adores it when you do.”

  He snorts. “Not that she’ll ever admit it.”

  I can’t help but smile at the exchange. When she leaves, Nina doesn’t give me any warnings or foreboding looks. Then, there’s only the heat of Drew next to me and the market all around us. My senses are still overwhelmed with the new scents and sights—moonlight, sizzling, shouting. Surprising both of us, I think, I lean into Drew’s warmth.

  “Are you cold?” he asks, and I shrug, because I’m always cold. As a response, Drew tugs his jacket off. The weight of it settles over me and overwhelms with his warm scent. I want to wrap myself in this all the time, I think mournfully.

  While we’re here, I’ll let myself have these feelings, but the moment we step foot into the boardinghouse, whatever this is, ends.

  It has to.

  With this dismal thought, my excitement fades as we wander through the market. We start down an aisle full of artists and hand-made goods. Baskets, jewelry, clothing, perfume. A yellow-eyed, yellow-haired shapeshifter sits in front of an easel, marking parchment with long, practiced strokes. “Would you like me to draw you?” he asks in an accent I don’t recognize, seeing my interest.

  I hesitate. I can feel Drew watching our exchange, and I’m not sure how much I should reveal about Gabriela’s involvement in my life. Even now, she could still pay the price for loving me. But it would be so nice to have a picture of her, I think longingly. Maybe it would be enough to keep the bad dreams away. “Not… not me,” I say finally. “Someone else. Is that possible? And do you sell your drawings in a smaller size?”

  “Of course it’s possible. Yes, yes, smaller size, yes.” When the shapeshifter raises his eyebrows, holding a piece of charcoal with stained, impatient fingers, I describe the human that’s never far from my mind.

  As he draws, and a familiar face starts to form on the page, I think of all the things I want to tell Gabriela when she finally comes. About the people I’ve met, about everything that’s happened since I left. I hear her voice in my head whispering, I will find you.

  When the artist finishes, rolls up the paper, and holds it out to me, he names his price. Trying not to wince, I take it and hand over another one of my precious coins. A moment later, Drew calls my name. I tuck the portrait into one of the shopping bags and hurry to join him.

  Drew doesn’t ask about the portrait I’m clutching. Instead, he continues to act as my guide through the market, and with every word that comes out of his mouth, every moment that passes, I feel my resolve crumbling. He has an energy about him—powerful as crackling electricity—that knocks me off center. Somehow, Drew seems entirely oblivious to his effect on me, and flashes that disarming, genuine smile of his.

  As we finally go in search of Nina, I look up at the wide, wide moon. It hangs there like a Christmas ornament in a black fir tree. I think of the night I was banished, when I’d gazed up at it during those long, lonely hours. How unkind the moon had seemed then. How aloof. Strange that now, tonight, it should feel like a friend. Like an ally.

  Like hope.

  Chapter Two

  I open my eyes to the sound
of purring. It’s so close to my ear, so loud, that before I’m fully awake, I faintly wonder if there’s a crane outside the window, about to smash the entire boardinghouse with a single blow from its wrecking ball.

  With a yawn, I turn my face and scratch the cat’s head. A flare of pity goes through me when I remember that she has no name. Oh, we never bothered, Nina said when I’d asked. Pets tend not to live long in this city.

  This particular pet mewls at me now, as if to voice her outrage, and I laugh softly. “I’m getting better at waking up in time for breakfast,” I inform her. The cat just keeps purring.

  I wonder if other boarders have heard the news—that I’m staying. Drew kept his word and spoke with Ada, somehow convincing her take pity on me. Apparently she does have a soft spot for him, and I can understand why. Drew doesn’t seem to have a bad bone in his body. Nothing like the others I’ve spent my time with over the years.

  Speaking of… I wonder how Cain is doing. Surely word of my Awakening reached him in Kin, though I’m not surprised he hasn’t made any effort to contact me. It’s better this way—to think back fondly over our time together and accept that Cain is part of the life I left behind when I came to Oldbel.

  Someone knocks on my door, and the cat in my lap startles, digging her claws into my thigh. I hiss out a breath and nudge her toward the end of the bed, peeking under the sheets to see the torn skin already healing.

  “I’m coming,” I call.

  “There’s no rush.” Drew’s voice is muffled through the door. “Penelope just told me that Nina made pancakes. You’re probably safer skipping breakfast.”

  I hide my smile, even though there’s a door between us. “Burnt pancakes are better than none. I’ll be right down.”

  Drew’s footsteps grow quiet as he heads downstairs. Just as I’m about to follow, my gaze flicks toward the window. There are sparrows on the other side of the glass, washing themselves with water from the drainpipe. As I watch them, I realize it’s been drizzling or storming in equal turns since I arrived—this is the first time I’m seeing the view from my window without a curtain of rain. The sun is setting, the sky a dulcet smear of violet, pink, and indigo. Wisps of clouds break the horizon apart.

  Shaking myself, I run my fingers through my hair, grab a clean T-shirt and fresh jeans, and change quickly before jogging downstairs—I do my best to refrain from using vampiric speed when I’m at the boardinghouse. I don’t need to remind everyone what I am, if it can be helped.

  My nose crinkles at the smell permeating the air. I walk into the dining room and see Nina hurrying around the long mahogany table in a white apron, flipping dark brown pancakes onto everyone’s plates as she passes.

  She catches sight of me in the doorway and says in her usual prickly way, “Hope you’re hungry.”

  From his spot at the dining room table, Drew snorts into his cup of coffee, and Nina shoots him a glare. I quickly shift my attention to where Ada sits in an overstuffed chair at the head of the table. Has she told anyone that I’m staying? Should I pretend otherwise, to avoid causing a riot?

  “Sit down, have some breakfast,” Drew says, pouring me coffee.

  “Uh, sure,” I say, walking around the table. I slide onto the chair between Penelope and a child that can’t be older than eleven or twelve. A human from that strange land with no map, the place between boy and man.

  Meanwhile, Clarissa sinks into the chair across from me. She’s pretty, with long blonde hair and wide, pale lavender eyes. The other seven boarders shift their attention to her immediately—it’s obvious from her red-rimmed eyes that she’s been crying.

  “What’s up?” Drew asks, popping a strawberry into his mouth.

  “Oh, nothing.” She sighs dramatically. “I just got dumped. Again. It’s so unfair—every man in this city is an ass. All I’m looking for is one to take me on a romantic date and not try to screw me on the ride home.”

  “Oh, come on, Clarissa. Life is not a fairy tale,” Nina says, her voice harsh. The lines around her mouth look deeper in the light streaming down from the chandelier. “If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk. If you fall into a deep sleep and don’t wake up, that’s called a coma, bitch.”

  “Lighten up, sis,” Drew says quietly, taking another sip of his coffee. To my surprise, Nina falls silent. I watch her lean close to Clarissa and say something in her ear.

  “Hey,” I say to the young boy beside me, attempting a friendly smile. I’ve seen him in the hallways a few times since my arrival, but he’s always hurrying off to work or slipping into his room. He has freckles like the stars, hair like a field of corn, and eyes like a solemn sky.

  He peers up at me through thick lashes, his lavender eyes mirroring the vibrant pigment of my own. “Can I see your fangs?” he asks.

  Someone across the table chokes on their orange juice. “What’s your name?” I ask the boy, ignoring this.

  “Garrett,” he says. “Please? I have a bet with the other—”

  “I think that’s enough for now,” Ada interjects, not unkindly. “May I have everyone’s attention, please?”

  “Maybe later,” I whisper to Garrett. I shoot him a wink before turning toward the vampire at the head of the table.

  She takes a sip of her tea. “As some of you already know, Charlie will be boarding with us for the time being. She’s working in the sewer sector and will also be helping out around the house when needed. Isn’t that right, Charlie?”

  I nod, though the household work is news to me. If Ada is willing to let me stay here, though, I have no problem earning my keep. “Of course,” I say, trying not to sound too eager.

  After that, a stilted silence falls over the table. I wait for the vicious outcry, but it doesn’t come. While a few of the others still look uncomfortable with it, I don’t see hatred in their eyes.

  “May I say something?” I ask Ada suddenly. She picks up her teacup again and nods. I let out a breath. “Thank you. Look, I understand that some of you aren’t happy with my being here. I get it… but please know that I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’m just here to live, work, and survive. I also understand if you have questions. Please ask them, and I’ll do my best to answer. I’d like to get to know all of you, as well.”

  I take a moment to meet the gaze of every person in this room. When my eyes land on Drew, he shoots me a grin that warms my entire body.

  “How long are you going to be here?” a woman sitting directly across the table asks. I remember her from my first evening here, the human wearing pink pajamas. Drew recently mentioned that she’s an English teacher at New Ve High School.

  “I’m not sure—that’s completely up to Ada. I’ll be working in the sewer sector for the foreseeable future, so my stay here is indefinite, at this point.”

  The woman purses her lips. “And we don’t have to worry about you getting hungry and tearing into one of us?”

  “What’s your name?” I ask, hoping she doesn’t notice how I avoid answering the question. Because whenever there’s a vampire nearby, humans should always worry about it getting hungry and tearing into one of them.

  “Erin,” the woman says, dropping her gaze to the barely-touched plate of pancakes in front of her.

  “Erin,” I say, “I have absolutely no intention of feeding on anyone here. There are facilities nearby where I am able to go and feed safely.”

  She nods without looking at me again. “Okay.”

  “Now can I see your fangs?” Garrett pipes up from beside me. Ada sighs.

  “Oh, come on, Charlie,” Drew says, nudging me. “Give the kid a peek.”

  I roll my eyes at him before looking over at Garrett. In a quick motion, I pull my lips back and bare my fangs, hissing for the added effect. His eyes go wide, but he’s grinning like it’s Christmas morning and the tree is surrounded by presents. “Whoa,” he murmurs. “That’s so cool.”

  “Glad you think so,” I say, retracting my fangs, and reach for the coffee pot. In doing so, I ab
sorb how I’m surrounded by people and a table full of food. Entirely different from the life I once knew, yet so familiar it makes me ache.

  “So we’re just going to pretend that having another bloodsucker in this place isn’t a threat to all of us?” Penelope snarls from beside me, her voice shaking with anger.

  My stomach drops as I’m pouring milk into my mug. “I’m not—”

  “Save it,” she interrupts, pushing her chair back. “You can be all for peace, Lavender, but at the end of the day, you’re still a monster.”

  She glowers at me before stomping from the room, leaving it thick with tension as everyone around me stays silent.

  I look to Ada. “Should I—”

  She shakes her head. “Penelope just needs more time to adjust.”

  “Her entire family was killed by vampires,” Nina chimes in.

  I suck in a breath, suddenly feeling terrible for making a joke of showing Garrett my fangs. “I had no idea.”

  “Of course you didn’t,” Drew adds. “It’s not your fault, Charlie. Don’t worry about it.”

  Regardless of his words, all I can do is worry about it. I’ve been trying to get these people to accept me—or like me, at the very least.

  “So, what was it like growing up as a princess?” someone else asks. I turn and see it’s a boy who looks around my age, with corkscrew curls and thick eyebrows. He was one of the chess players on the night I arrived. “Oh, and I’m Holden, by the way.”

  “Nice to meet you, Holden,” I tell him. “It was… hard. I know how that probably sounds, but royal life wasn’t all parties and galas. Certain members of my family could be cruel, and usually, I wasn’t brave enough to stand up to any of them.”

  “Are you saying you’re not like them?” the human asks, his tone more curious than confrontational.

  I hesitate. “I’d like to think I’m not.”

  “Do you like working in the sewer sector?” Clarissa puts in, her blue eyes friendly and curious.