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DREAMING OF YOU GO PL

Page 15

by Barbara Freethy


  Then they were joined by Andrea's twin sister, Laurel, and her husband, Greg, and finally the other bride-to-be, Maggie, an attractive strawberry-blonde, and her fiancé Cole.

  Everyone was friendly and welcoming. The guys were happy to get to know him. The women were a bit more wary, clearly wanting to make sure he was good for Kate. He didn't mind their protective attitudes; it told him how much they cared about their friend.

  He cared about Kate, too, and he liked seeing her in her element, setting up party games, nudging the most reluctant to play, which often included him, making sure everyone was eating and drinking, and continuing to point to Maggie and Jessica and their guys as the guests of honor.

  There was a lot of laughter, a lot of silliness, but it was fun—more fun than he'd had in a long time.

  He'd also been invited down to the arcade and had a chance to not only play the original Vertigo, but the newest version that hadn't yet been released to the public.

  He didn't know how long he'd been in the arcade, but Kate found him there, and promptly challenged him to a game. What she lacked in knowledge, she made up for in enthusiasm and a competitive drive that he should have expected, knowing how determined she could be. But in the end, he won, and Kate accepted her loss with good grace.

  "I think with a little more practice, I could have beaten you," she told him.

  "You can come over to my place any time and practice. I don't have the newest version, but I have the earlier ones."

  "I'll think about it." She smiled. "You're having a good time, aren't you?"

  "A great time—like everyone else. You put on an amazing party, Kate." He put his arms around her.

  Her gaze widened. "Barrett, what is on your mind?"

  "Kissing you."

  "Here?"

  "Everyone is gone, Kate. Look around. It's just you and me. And I think as the winner, I deserve a kiss."

  "You should have negotiated that earlier, Counselor."

  "Come on," he said, pulling her close.

  She laughed, then framed his face with her hands and leaned in for a kiss.

  His breath caught in his throat as their playful kiss immediately turned into a raging flood of desire. Every time he tasted her lips, he found himself wanting more. And tonight was no different.

  Kate must have been feeling the same, because her lips parted, and their tongues tangled together in delicious heat.

  And then someone said, "Kate."

  They broke apart.

  "Oops," Maggie said with a grin. "Sorry, I didn't know you'd stopped playing Vertigo and started playing with each other. Liz and Michael have to get home. If you want to say goodbye, now is the time."

  "I do, of course," Kate said, with a flush on her cheeks, as she hurried past Maggie.

  Maggie gave him a warning look. "One second, Barrett."

  "What's up?"

  "I just want you to know that you better do right by her. She's one in a million—make that a billion."

  "I know," he said, meeting her gaze.

  "Don't forget it. Or you'll have to answer to all of us."

  "Kate is lucky to have you all."

  "We're lucky to have her. She always goes above and beyond, and I'm not just talking about the parties or the weddings; it's everything else. She's the first person who calls when you're sick. She'll drop everything and rush to your side if you have a flat tire or need a ride or just someone to talk to. Kate has been the glue that's held us all together. She's the one who made us into not just friends, but sisters—family. She's really important to all of us. And maybe I'm overstepping here but watching the two of you together tonight—it makes me happy and nervous. Kate doesn't give her heart easily. If she's giving it to you, I just don't want you to break it."

  "I don't want that, either," he said, feeling a heavy weight in his gut. He didn't want to hurt Kate, but there was a good chance that’s exactly what would happen.

  "Maggie and Barrett," Andrea said, coming into the room. "Liz and Michael are waiting to say good-bye. Is everything okay?"

  "Perfect. We were just chatting," Maggie said. "Shall we go?"

  "After you," he told her.

  * * *

  After saying good-bye to everyone and cleaning up the party supplies, Kate and Barrett got back into her car. As she started the engine, she said, "Well, what did you think? Too corny for you?"

  "Just corny enough," he said lightly.

  As she drove toward his house, the silence between them lengthened, and she started to feel a little nervous. Everything had been going so well up until now. Her friends had loved Barrett. He'd fit in as if he'd known them for years, and he'd completely let go and participated in all the silly games with a willing energy. She'd been really impressed by that. There had been no sign of his cynical self.

  And the kiss they'd shared after their Vertigo battle had been hotter than all the others.

  But since then he'd been a little quiet. He also hadn't come back from the arcade right away. Neither had Maggie.

  Frowning, she glanced over at him. "Barrett, did Maggie say something to you?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "After she caught us kissing, did she say something?"

  He hesitated, then said, "She told me I better not hurt you."

  "I'm sorry. She shouldn't have said that. She's assuming things that aren't true."

  "I don't think she was doing that," he said quietly. "In fact, I think she was right."

  She licked her lips, not liking his tone. "Right about what?"

  "That you deserve someone amazing, someone who can give you the life you deserve." He turned his head, facing her with a somewhat grim look in his eyes. "I don't think that's me."

  Her chest tightened as her breath got caught in her throat. She was so surprised by his words, she almost missed the stop sign. She slammed on the brakes, throwing them both a little forward.

  "Sorry," she apologized again.

  She drove through the intersection, then pulled over in front of his building.

  "You can just block the driveway," he told her.

  She did as he suggested and put the car in park, then turned toward him. "Barrett, you don't have to worry about hurting me. I'm a big girl; I can take care of myself."

  He met her gaze. "You know where I stand, Kate. I don't see marriage in my future, and I know you do."

  "We're a long way from talking about marriage."

  "That's true, but I don't want to start something with you that can't possibly go where you want it to go."

  "Don't presume to know what I want."

  "Then tell me what you want," he challenged. "Tell me where I'm wrong."

  She stared back at him for a long minute. She wanted to say he was wrong, but was he? Wasn't he just echoing the doubts that had been going through her head?

  "It's really early to make long-term assumptions," she murmured.

  "It is, but I like you, Kate. And I don't want to hurt you. I want you to have everything you want, and I know that's marriage and family. You want the big romance, the life-or-death love affair, the magnificent gesture, and you should have all of that. But for me, I don't think I want to go down that road again. I'm not cut out to be a husband and probably not a father. Maybe it would be better if we stop right where we are. We'll be office friends."

  "Office friends, huh?"

  "I'll move out as soon as I can find some other space."

  She felt a heaviness in her heart, but it was difficult to fight back against the truth. She did want a happily ever after. She wanted a family, a husband, a father for whatever children she would have. She deserved that. She'd grown up in a broken home, and no matter how great her grandparents had been, they still hadn't been her parents. She wanted to put together a traditional family. She wanted to marry someone forever.

  Maybe it was all a pipe dream. Perhaps they were acting prematurely. No one could predict the future. But she couldn't go into a relationship, knowing there was no hope of gett
ing what she wanted.

  "You don't have to move," she said. "If you want this to be over, then it's over."

  "Just like that."

  "Just like that," she echoed. "I'm not going to make a scene."

  "Okay," he said, looking a little unsure now that she'd agreed with him.

  "But I think you're wrong, Barrett. I think you could be an amazing husband and father. And I'm a little sad that you can't see that, that you can't allow yourself to take another chance. But maybe the right woman would make you feel differently."

  "This isn't about you; it's about me."

  "It's about both of us. You should go, Barrett." She really needed him to get out of the car before she broke down. Already, she could feel the emotions rising within her. She was sad and angry and disappointed. But she needed to keep it together.

  "All right. Good night, Kate," he said, a somber note in his voice. He gave her one last, searching look and then got out of the car.

  She took off as soon as the door closed, needing to put some distance between them before the tears started to fall.

  Chapter Fifteen

  What the hell had he done? Barrett wondered almost three weeks later when the reality of not seeing Kate had sunk all the way in. It wasn't just that he hadn't seen her outside of work; he hadn't even caught a glimpse of her going in and out of the building. And he didn't like it.

  He should like it.

  He should be happy she'd agreed to stop before things got more complicated between them, before they got more involved, before there was no hope of avoiding a painful end.

  But this felt painful, too.

  Sitting back in his office chair, he stretched his arms over his head, then glanced at his watch. It was almost four. He had no more clients coming in today and tomorrow was Friday. He couldn't wait for the work week to be over. Although, the looming weekend didn't make him feel any better. He was dreading the empty days, when he would have too much time to think and to feel.

  His entire life seemed to be cloudy and gray. And it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why. It was Kate.

  She'd brought color and laughter, fun and hope back into his life. She'd made him want more than he'd wanted in a long time. He missed talking to her. He missed seeing her smile. He missed hearing her crazy stories. He missed kissing her.

  A knock came at his door, and he straightened in surprise. Jackie had left an hour earlier, after his last client. "Come in," he said.

  "Hi, Barrett." Maggie walked in the door, giving him a tentative smile.

  He got to his feet. "Maggie. Are you looking for Kate?"

  "No. I just saw her. She's upstairs in her office, working away on the final details for our wedding this Saturday. She's doing what she does, trying not to look completely miserable."

  He didn't know what to say to that. Fortunately, Maggie didn't seem to expect an answer.

  "Kate told me that the two of you aren't seeing each other anymore and that it happened the night of the shower. I think I'm partly responsible. When I said what I said to you, I was sort of joking."

  "You were not joking; you were serious. You were looking out for Kate."

  "Okay, I was, but I stuck my nose where it didn't belong. It wasn't my business. I apologized to Kate, and I also wanted to tell you I'm sorry. What you and Kate do is your own business. And I should have kept my mouth shut."

  "You only reminded me what was at stake. And I don't want to hurt Kate."

  "But she's already hurting. I probably shouldn't tell you that, but it's true. Anyway, I just thought you should know." She turned and walked toward the door, then paused. "Kate is an amazing person. I hope you realize just what you're missing out on." She blew out a breath. "Okay, now I'm done."

  As she left his office, he sank back into his chair, thinking about what she'd said.

  Maggie was wrong.

  He knew exactly what he was missing out on; he just didn't know what to do about it.

  * * *

  Maggie and Jessica's Valentine's Day wedding went off without a hitch—two beautiful brides and their handsome grooms exchanging their vows in a beautiful church in the Presidio.

  The reception at what had once been the Officer's Club was also going well. As Kate wandered through the room, smiling at her friends, checking on details, she felt a little teary-eyed.

  Maggie and Jessica were the last of her close circle of friends to get married. They'd had so much fun the past couple of years, sending everyone off to their future in grand style.

  And this was the last wedding.

  Well, she supposed one day she'd have a wedding—maybe.

  Or maybe her destiny was to put everyone else together.

  She sighed at that depressing thought.

  "Kate," Jessica said, striding toward her in her beautiful dress. "Thank you again. Everything has been perfect."

  "The way it should be," she declared.

  Jessica's gaze softened. "I just wish you were happier."

  "Me? I'm fine. I'm very happy. All the work is done. Now it's just fun."

  They'd had a morning wedding, because Maggie and Cole were taking a late-night flight to London to start their European honeymoon. It was almost five now, and the band would be stopping soon. Then the brides and their grooms would make their exit.

  "Have you thought about talking to Barrett?" Jessica asked.

  "Look, I know you're all worried about me, but you don't have to be. I'll get over Barrett. I have to," she said a little desperately. It would help if she could stop thinking about him for more than five minutes, but so far that hadn't happened. He'd been on her mind constantly. She'd tried to stay out of the office as much as possible, so much even Shari had started to worry about her.

  "Instead of getting over him, why don't you talk to him?" Jessica suggested.

  "Because we said all there was to say."

  "Didn't that conversation last like five minutes?" Jessica challenged.

  "I really need to stop telling all of you every detail of my life," she grumbled.

  "I'm just saying, maybe a longer discussion is in order."

  "He never wants to get married, Jessica, and I'm a wedding planner. He's a cynic. I'm a romantic. It won't work."

  "I actually understand the way he feels, Kate. I went through a lot of the same emotions when I started falling for Reid. I didn't think I ever wanted to get married after my disaster of a first marriage."

  "But you got married the first time because you were pregnant; that was different. Barrett married someone he thought he loved at the time, and it crashed and burned."

  "Which is why he's afraid to go down the aisle again. I almost bailed on Reid for the same reason—fear. But Reid wouldn't let me. He made me realize that love was worth the risk of more pain. Maybe you need to remind Barrett of that."

  "I can't talk him into changing his mind. He has to do that on his own. But I don't think that will happen. He's pretty stubborn."

  Jessica smiled. "You can be stubborn, too, Kate. And it's not like you to give up. Are you really going to let this great guy walk away without a fight?"

  "I don't want to, but…maybe I'm a little scared, too. Maybe it's easier this way."

  "Since when do you take the easy way out?"

  "Since now."

  "Kate," Jessica said.

  "I'll think about it. But not today. It's almost time for you and Maggie to change and say your good-byes." She paused, turning her head at the sound of loud voices near the front door.

  "Kate," Maggie called from the doorway. "You have to see this."

  See what? she wondered, her gaze narrowing as guests started streaming outside.

  Liz ran over to her and grabbed her hand, her eyes sparkling. "Come outside."

  "What's going on?"

  "You have to see it to believe it," Liz told her, dragging her out to the front steps.

  There was a loud buzz of a very low-flying plane. She looked up at the sky, shocked to see her name writt
en in the sky, followed by the words I Love You.

  "I don't understand," she muttered.

  "It's Barrett," Maggie said, pointing to the sky where the letter B had just formed.

  "Why would he do this?" she asked in confusion. "We're not together."

  "But I want us to be." Barrett's voice rang out behind her, and she whirled around.

  Barrett was standing on the steps, dressed in the same black suit he'd worn the first night she'd met him. In his hand was an arrow.

  "Remember when this thing hit me?" he asked.

  She shook her head in bemusement.

  "You don't remember?" he asked in surprise.

  "I remember, but I don't understand how you have it. I cleaned up the broken statue."

  "Somehow this arrow ended up in my pocket." He stepped forward as her friends fell back in an arc behind her.

  He took her hands as he gazed at her with beautiful green eyes that sparkled in the sunlight. "When Cupid shot his arrow at me, I thought I was invincible, that no one could pierce the wall I'd built around my heart. But that wasn't true. You barreled right through it." He let that sink in, then added, "I'm an idiot, Kate. I never should have called things off with you. You're the most amazing woman I've ever met, and I'm in love with you."

  It was almost impossible to believe the words coming out of Barrett's mouth. "You—are you sure?"

  "Positive. I knew the first moment I met you that you were going to complicate my life. But I didn't know how much I would care about you. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. The last few weeks I've found myself listening for the sound of your footsteps upstairs, the faint echo of a laugh coming down the stairwell."

  "I've done the same," she confessed. "I actually worked from home the other day, because I wasn't getting anything done. But how we feel doesn't change the fact that we don't want the same things."

 

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