Brave Beginnings

by Ruth Ann Nordin

  A tense moment of silence passed before Mike held out his hand. “I’ll take care of it.”

  Larry grunted and stormed out of the office.

  Relieved that he didn’t have to be the one who did it, Mr. Wilcox handed Mike the check. “Do it quickly.”

  Mike eased out of the chair and stared at the check. “Sir, you’re not really going to fire Larry, are you?”

  Mr. Wilcox shook his head. How could he fire Larry for doing something he should have had the guts to do when Ernest was standing right in front of him?

  Mike quietly left the office, and Mr. Wilcox fought the urge to bang his fist on the desk. God help him. He wished he had the same courage Larry did. But he didn’t. He reached for the flask he kept in his desk drawer and took a big swallow of whiskey. His hands were still shaking as he twisted the cap back on the flask and set it back in the drawer. By the end of the day, the whole thing would be taken care of, and the sooner it was over, the better.

  ~~********~~

  Chapter 15

  Chogan stared at the money in Mike’s hand and resisted the urge to rip it up. He made eye contact and said, “You fire me because of Ernest.”

  “He says you attacked him,” Mike softly replied.

  “You believe him?”

  “No. That’s why we’re giving you enough money to help you get by until you find another job.”

  “That doesn’t make sense,” Chogan stiffly replied. He turned his gaze to the printing press. “I do good work. I got paper done on time.” He realized he was reverting back to his earlier speaking of the English language, but it was all he could do to not speak Mandan in his sudden burst of anger. Now that his shock was wearing off, the blood was rushing to his face and his body was ready for a fight. “Ernest not work here. He not own paper.”

  “He found witnesses,” Mike said, breaking eye contact.

  “Witnesses? What witnesses?” Chogan nearly yelled.

  “N-Noah, for one.” He cleared his throat and motioned to Noah who passed by the doorway.

  At the mention of his name, Noah glanced at them and scurried off down the hall.

  “He lie all time,” Chogan said. “His word mean nothing.” He told himself to calm down so he could speak better, but he couldn’t get a good enough grip on his emotions to do it. “Ernest want marry Julia. Julia say no. She marry me. Ernest mad.”

  Mike let out a long sigh and looked at Chogan. “I checked on some other witnesses, and there was a man who was walking with his wife at the time this happened. He said you made it a point to threaten them as well.”

  Chogan struggled to remember what man and woman Mike meant, and after a few seconds, he recalled the man who told the woman that Chogan looked dangerous. “All I say is I know English language and hear good. I not threaten.”

  “He claims you looked like you were ready to strike his wife.”

  Chogan’s heart pounded harder in his chest. “I not strike. I talk.”

  “The man is the governor’s brother-in-law. The governor is friends with Ernest.” Mike held the money out. “I’m sorry, Chogan. I believe you. Larry and Mr. Wilcox believe you. But…well…things being as they are…” He shrugged and gave Chogan a pleading look. “Maybe if people weren’t afraid of your kind—”

  “My kind?” Chogan yelled, his fists clenched. “I be human. Like you. Skin darker. Mean nothing.” And then he spoke in Mandan just because he couldn’t suppress the urge to any longer. “I want to live in peace here. I did everything I could to obey your rules, your way of life. And all for what? What has any of this come to? It comes down to the color of my skin and my heritage? I’m just as human as you!” Then he slapped the money out of Mike’s hand. “You can give the devil his money back because I’ll have no part of it!”

  Chogan barely registered the regret and sorrow in Mike’s eyes as he spun on his heel and rushed to grab his coat. He threw it on in haste and missed one of his buttons as he struggled to button it. Then he snatched his hat and stormed toward the exit.

  Out of the corner of his eye, he caught someone huddling in the corner of the room. It was Noah. Scowling, Chogan marched over to him. Noah’s eyes grew wide and he made a move to dart off, but Chogan grabbed his arm and pinned him up against the wall.

  Forcing his mind to clear enough to speak English, Chogan hissed, “You tell Ernest if he come near me, I make him sorry.”

  He let go of a trembling and pale Noah and left the building.

  ***

  Two hours passed and Chogan’s anger finally cooled enough so he wouldn’t barge into the bank and demand that Ernest face him like a man and admit he lied. The injustice shouldn’t have surprised him. When he agreed to come here to marry Julia, he knew the odds were against him, but he never once imagined he’d lose his job because the men would side with a white man who held a personal grudge.

  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Even though the breeze chilled him, he didn’t want to go home. He didn’t want to face Julia and tell her what happened. He’d rather spend the rest of his life sitting on the bench and staring at the open land in the distance. He used to go out there when he needed peace and quiet. But he couldn’t do that anymore. Now he had to go home and face his wife who assumed others would come around to seeing the same man she did whenever she looked at him.

  And on top of that, he had to tell her that he needed to look for another job. Judging from the rough time he had before, he wasn’t optimistic that anyone would jump at the chance to hire him. As it was, it took Anthony’s friendship with Larry to get him into the Tribune. Chogan didn’t doubt for a minute that Anthony would sympathize with his plight, but Anthony hadn’t had any luck in talking anyone else into giving Chogan the opportunity to prove himself. And with Ernest and the governor’s brother-in-law going around spreading their lies, things only looked worse.

  Chogan closed his eyes again. What was he supposed to do to make money? Perhaps he’d been hasty in rejecting the money Mike offered, but his pride wouldn’t let him take it. It was a payoff to ease guilt.

  And how does pride help put food on the table? Chogan groaned and opened his eyes. It didn’t. He knew it would take awhile to find work, unless he accepted one of the jobs none of the white men wanted. He grimaced. He’d once led the buffalo hunt, and now he’d been regulated to the low level of someone who fetched water. It was a disgrace.

  He wasn’t sure what he was going to do. Time. He needed time to think. He couldn’t act in haste. Yes. That’s what he’d do. Take time to make a plan. He didn’t need to do anything today.

  Reluctant to leave the bench, he stood. He couldn’t avoid going home forever. His steps were slow as he made his way back into the heart of town, intentionally avoiding the block where Ernest worked in case he saw Ernest again. If he did, his anger would only flare up again, and he didn’t want to see Julia when he was so angry he couldn’t speak English.

  He paused as he rounded the block where he lived. The sun was still out. Surely, she’d suspect the truth when he came home early. He was supposed to work at the printing press today.

  He stared at his home for a good, long moment before he glanced over his shoulder. He could go talk to Anthony and figure out a plan for future employment. At least then he could return home with some good news. He sighed. No. He’d bothered Anthony enough in the past. This was his problem, and he’d find a way to resolve it. One way or another, he’d figure things out. But not today. Today he had to step back from everything so he wouldn’t act in haste and make the wrong choice.

  And so he proceeded forward. He slowly opened the front door. The house was quiet. Maybe Julia and her aunt were out. He removed his boots and set them on the rug by the door before he shut it.

  “Chogan, is that you?” came Julia’s voice from the parlor.

  He winced. He should have been more careful when he shut the door. Clearing his throat, he got ready to answer her when she came out of the parlor with a sweater she was knitting in her hand
s.

  She looked at him in surprise. “What are you doing home so early?”

  He opened his mouth to speak, to tell her the whole sordid story, but no sound came out.

  She frowned and went over to him. “Your face is red. Are you feeling well?”

  Tomorrow. He’d tell her tomorrow. For now, he needed to be alone. “No. I don’t feel well.” He lowered his gaze from hers and worked on unbuttoning his coat.

  She set her knitting on the small table by the door and helped him take off his coat. “Why don’t you go to bed and rest? Aunt Erin and Millicent went shopping. Millicent just received permission to let Conrad court her. She was so excited. I almost went along, but now I’m glad I didn’t.” She took his coat and hung it up in the closet. “Go on upstairs. I’ll be there to check on you.”

  He was ready to protest, but then he realized he wanted her to check on him, so he nodded and trudged up the steps. Once in the bedroom, he drew the curtains, put some coal in the box stove so the room would soon warm, removed his shirt and pants, and slipped under the blankets. It wasn’t until his head hit the pillow that he realized how tired he was. He was tired of trying to fit into the white man’s world. It was obvious that he didn’t belong. They would never accept him as long as he was an Indian, and that was something he couldn’t change. The world, it seemed, was a cold and uncaring place.

  He heard Julia coming up the steps so he turned his gaze to the doorway. She carried a tray with two bowls on it and set the tray on the dresser. She dipped a clean cloth into one of the bowls and rung the water out. Then she went over to him and touched his forehead.

  “You don’t feel hot,” she said, her eyebrows furrowed as she touched his cheeks. “You feel cold. How long were you outside? Do you feel ill?”

  He studied her face, noting the loving concern in her eyes. Reaching up, he brushed her cheek. “I love you, Julia.”

  She set the damp washcloth on the nightstand and held his hand. “Chogan, you’re scaring me. You’re not going to die, are you? Did the doctor tell you something I need to know?”

  “No,” he softly replied. “I’m not sick.”

  Her grip on his hand relaxed and she breathed an audible sigh of relief.

  He smiled and squeezed her hand. “You love me.”

  She grinned and shook her head. “What a silly thing to say. You already knew that.”

  “It’s nice to be reminded. You give me a place to call home, a place to belong. It’s nice to be welcome somewhere.”

  “You’re a part of me, Chogan. I can’t imagine my life without you.”

  “You’re a part of me too,” he whispered.

  “What’s going on, Chogan? What happened today?”

  The urge to lie and tell her it was a slight chill that made him come home early from work was great, but as he looked into her caring eyes, he knew he had to tell her. He pulled her closer to him so that he could give her a light kiss.

  “This must be bad,” she said, her voice low.

  “They fired me.”

  She blinked. “Who?”

  “My superiors at the Tribune.”

  Her spine stiffened and her expression grew dark. “Why? Didn’t they just tell you that you were one of the best employees they’d ever had over there?”

  He sighed. “That doesn’t matter.”

  “Of course, it matters!” She sat up straight and tried to stand, but he held onto her hands so she couldn’t. “Let me go. I need to go down there and find out why they did this.”

  “I already know why.”

  She stopped struggling against him and asked, “Why?”

  “Ernest told them to.”

  She gasped and tried to stand again.

  “Julia, it won’t do any good. He’s white.”

  “So?” she yelled, her face flushed with anger. “He can’t go into the Tribune and demand they fire you!”

  “Yes, he can. And he did.”

  “Because of me? Because I didn’t want to marry him and live out a miserable existence by his side?” She tried to pull her hands out of his, but he held on. She grunted in aggravation. “Why won’t you let me go?”

  “Because you’ll do something stupid.”

  “Stupid? All I want to do is go down there and demand that they give you your job back…after I slap Ernest.”

  “No. It won’t do any good, and it could make things worse for you.”

  “It has to do some good. I’ll explain that Ernest wanted to marry me, but I married you instead. Surely, once they know the facts, they’ll hire you back.”

  “No, they won’t.”

  “And why not?”

  “Because you’re a woman and you married an Indian.”

  Her eyes grew wide and she shook her head. “What does that matter?”

  “A lot, Julia. A lot. It’s your word against Ernest’s, and Ernest has people who will lie to support his side of the story.”

  “But…” She paused, and he could tell how fast her mind worked through every possible reason why her plan might work. After a few seconds, she said, “But Ernest is lying. Truth will win out.”

  “Not today.”

  “What are you saying? That Ernest is going to get away with this?”

  “For now, I think so.”

  “What about justice? People can’t go on lying and keep getting away with it.”

  “For a time, they might. Justice is not always immediate. I have no doubt that the day of reckoning will come for him, but it is not in our ability to make it happen. It will be someone else who balances the scales.”

  “But…but…” Her body relaxed and she stopped trying to stand up. “It’s not right.”

  “You tell me God will handle things in His time. Do you not trust Him to do that now?”

  She leaned forward and lowered her head so that her forehead touched his. “It’s hard.”

  “I know,” he admitted. “It is. But we have each other. We’ll get through this. The important thing is we stay together.”

  “I had no idea it would be like this when you came here to be with me.”

  “You’re worth it, Julia.” He released her hands so that he could cup her face in his hands. He wiped a few tears from her cheeks and smiled at her. “You make me forget all of it. When I’m with you, the rest of the world doesn’t exist.”

  Julia let out a soft sigh of resignation. “Alright. I won’t go tell those dim-witted men exactly what I think of them.”

  He chuckled. “You would do that too. That’s my Julia. Full of fire.”

  She laughed quietly, and the lingering tension in his body eased. There was something about her that could heal all wounds, no matter how painful. Still holding her face in his hands, he gently brought her face closer to his so he could kiss her. She responded to him and deepened the kiss. The scent of lye soap and the brush of her fingers as she stroked his neck brought an all-too-familiar stirring in his loins.

  She ended the kiss and whispered, “We are alone, and I have nothing to do.”

  A wicked smile crossed his face. “How bored you must be.”

  “If you’re here, I might as well use that to my advantage, don’t you think?”

  “You won’t get any complaints from me.”

  With a knowing gleam in her eye, she stood and took the washcloth back to the tray. She glanced at him. “I forgot I brought you soup. You should eat it.”

  “I’m not hungry. I’ll eat it later.”

  “But it’ll be cold later.” Though she protested, he noted the amusement in her voice.

  “I’m cold now. I need you to warm me up.” This wasn’t true, of course, since watching her shut the door with the intent of making love to him was enough to make his blood boil with anticipation. He drew back the blankets and patted the mattress. “Come.”

  She gave him a slight smile and unbuttoned her shirt.

  He removed his underwear and patiently waited as she undressed. His erection strengthened as she took her time
in slipping out of her chemise and petticoats. So much clothing for a woman to wear, and yet he didn’t mind the many layers since it only teased him and made him anticipate seeing her bare flesh all the more.

  When she stood before him, heat flushed through his entire body. No matter how many times they came together as man and wife, he never got over the initial thrill of seeing her naked or of feeling her warm skin press up against his as she slipped under the blankets and snuggled up to him.

  “I didn’t realize how cool it is in this room,” she said.

  He wrapped her in his arms and nuzzled her neck. “I’ll keep you warm.”

  She giggled. “Your breath tickles.”

  He graced her sensitive skin with light kisses while he moved his hand over one of her breasts and brushed her taut nipple with his thumb. She moaned, signaling that it wasn’t the cold that caused her to shiver.

  “Oh, Chogan,” she murmured as she ran her fingers through his hair which now reached his shoulders. “I always feel complete when we’re together.”

  His response was to kiss her fully on the lips. She parted her lips and his tongue brushed hers. She brought one of her legs up and wrapped it around his waist. Then she shifted so that the area between her legs cushioned his erection. He groaned and cupped her breast, giving it a light squeeze. He loved the way she yielded to him in bed. It was so much like her. Gentle. Soft. Comforting. Giving. It made him love her all the more.

  She moved her hips, rubbing his erection and sending tingles of pleasure coursing through him. He placed one arm around her waist, pulled her closer, and lowered his hand so that he could cup her butt and encourage her movements.

  She followed his lead, moaning softly as her arousal increased. Intrigued, he continued to lead her along, aware that she was mounting toward her peak. He rolled onto his back so that she could straddle him with more ease.

  Breathless, she straightened, granting him a generous view of her breasts. She bit her lower lip on a low groan and proceeded to rub against him, her movements growing more anxious as she came closer to her release. His erection grew thicker and he gripped her hips, aware of his own increasing need.