“Shall we find our seats?” His hand sat just below the small of my back, scandalously close to my bottom.
“Yes, let’s hurry. I feel the need for a distraction.” I pulled his hand toward the theater entrance. He pulled me to a stop.
“You are a beautiful distraction.” And right there, for the whole world to see, he kissed me slowly and sweetly. He wasn’t ashamed of who and what I was. He didn’t treat me like a cheap bauble. He treated me like a treasure. I felt like the Hope Diamond.
We entered the theatre late, having been waylaid by the kiss. A perfect kiss. His box sat dead center. Walled in on three sides, private had been an accurate description. Two plush chairs sat in front by the rail. A bottle of champagne chilled in the corner. I scooted as far as the chair would let me, but the arm blocked me from getting to him. Just like at breakfast, he patted his lap and I crawled into his arms.
I peeked at the stage and saw the singers serenading the pictures that appeared at random intervals. Nothing happening down there interested me. Everything worth paying attention to was right here in this private box. The slit of my dress fell open, exposing my legs. My eyes looked around to make sure no one could see what we were up to. I knew where this was going.
He chuckled. “No one can see.”
The feather-light touch of his fingers left a trail of goosebumps from my ankle to my thigh. He shifted in his seat. I wasn’t sure if it was to adjust his hardness, or if the shift was a guise to spread my legs. I leaned against his chest and opened myself to his exploration.
“Mmmm, you listened.”
His fingers slipped inside me easily, as there was nothing that hindered his progress. I moaned softly in his ear while he stroked me gently, but purposefully. His thumb rubbed the bundle of nerves until I shook in his arms. I labored to breathe, my moans muffled by his jacket.
“Come for me, Sunshine.”
It didn’t happen like in the movies, where someone commanded you to come and you detonated on the spot. It happened with a slow build to an incredible crescendo. I closed my eyes and let him take me to places I’d never been. The music played in the background while the world shattered around me. The explosion, an array of colors, only seen in the recesses of my mind. I lay in his arms until I gained the strength to move.
“I love the opera.” My lips traced his ear, dipping down to nibble on his lobe. His growl, an aphrodisiac for the second act.
“I have a newfound interest in the arts myself,” he said.
Sliding down his lap to sit at his feet, I adjusted his cummerbund and unzipped his pants. I was well below the rail, so there was no risk of exposure. I let him loose and began at the silken tip, where a bead of salty goodness sat like a gift. With gentle licks, I lapped it up like the gold it was.
He shifted in his seat, pushing his hips toward me, silently begging me to take more. I ran my tongue down one side and up the other, using his throbbing vein as a roadmap to his pleasure. His fingers played in the fallen tendrils of my hair. His eyes focused on every move I made. Pulling him in, I suckled his flesh until he squirmed in the chair. His body tensed.
“River.”
His tone was a stern warning for me to pull away, but selfishly I wanted it all, so I sucked and pulled until he spilled inside my mouth. I swallowed every pulse and licked him clean before I tucked him back into his pants and zipped him up. Rising to my feet, I walked to the champagne and poured us both a glass. I sipped mine, swirled and swallowed. I crawled into his lap and covered his mouth with mine.
“How was the distraction? Oh look, there’s an opera going on down there. I hardly noticed.”
I leaned forward in his lap, looking over the rail. Hundreds of people watched the stage. I turned and watched him.
His chin sat between his thumb and finger while he stroked back and forth in contemplation. He shook his head and looked away.
“I didn’t expect to like you this much. What am I going to do with you?” He pulled me into his kiss. Hard thuds beat in my chest as I processed his declaration. Was it good? Bad?
I moved from his lips to his ear and whispered, “Just be with me. Nothing else is required. Enjoy me. I’ll enjoy you. We’ll enjoy each other. It’s that simple.”
“Is it?” His words made me wonder. Without notice, he pulled me to my feet and led me to the exit. The cold air blew across my skin, making the small hairs stand on end. “I thought I sent a wrap with that dress.”
“You did. In the excitement, I forgot it.”
I wrapped my arms around my chest and shivered. I felt so silly now. He pulled his phone from his pocket, removed his jacket, and placed it over my shoulders. Chivalry hadn’t died—it lived in this man. He placed a call and then pulled me against his chest. Moments later, Howard arrived with the car. I was curious why we had left the opera early.
“Were you tired of the opera?”
“I wanted to enjoy you, and I didn’t want to share you.”
Aww, how sweet was that? This would have been the nicest date if that were what it had been. But it wasn’t, and I needed to keep reminding myself of that.
“Where are we headed?”
“The Ritz.”
With my head on his shoulder, we traveled in silence to the hotel. He checked us in and led me into another beautiful room. My stomach grumbled, and he laughed.
“I’m going to have to feed you.”
“Yes, you are, because knowing you, I’ll need my energy.”
He picked up the phone and ordered two steaks, wedge salads, and a bottle of cabernet.
The pins in my hair were the first things to go. He sighed as it fell in loose ringlets down my back. Next was the dress. He removed it and carefully placed it on a chair in the living area. In the center of the room, I stood in heels and a bra.
“We have about thirty minutes. Not nearly enough time for anything but an appetizer.”
And just like that, I was laid on the bed and feasted upon until he had made me scream his name twice. The man was a god. When I could open my eyes and look into his face, I saw…joy? He seemed happy to have given me two spectacular orgasms.
Who is this man?
A knock at the door sent me scurrying from the room before the third could take hold.
“It’s safe to come out.” The clank of silverware meant he was at the table.
Cocooned in the robe I found hanging behind the bathroom door, I floated into the living area high from the endorphins running through my body.
“Who is Grace?” She had bordered between sweet and hostile. It would be great to know their connection.
“She’s my sister-in-law, Claire’s sister.” Wow, I totally didn’t expect that. I wondered if his wife resembled her. I was curious about the woman Jonathan had loved so dearly. “She was in charge of the auction. All proceeds are going to breast cancer research.”
“Is that what Claire died from?” Not my business, but I wanted to know.
“Yes, years ago.”
I chewed on that information at the same time as I chewed on my steak. One tasted delicious, the other bitter. I wondered if she’d called his name while he’d made her come over and over again. My jealousy was completely unreasonable. He had made it clear that Claire had been the love of his life. That is why, after all, I was with him tonight, and any other night he gave me. I wouldn’t ever own his heart. I had to smash down the ridiculous urge to be more.
After dinner, we fell into bed and made love slowly and passionately. We lay entwined with my head on his chest, my hand in his hand.
“What was the best thing about your family?” he asked. I was baffled by his question.
I answered quickly, “Their absence.” It was sad but true.
“Come on, there had to be something good.”
“Donut Sundays.” Memories of hiding in the kitchen with Jade, our faces smeared with chocolate ran through my head. I loved donut Sundays.
“Okay, now tell me the worst thing.”
I
had two very distinct feelings from my childhood. Living in a fishbowl does that to you. “Being invisible, and yet always on display.” Saying it out loud was a revelation, but also painful.
“Your parents were probably proud of you.”
“Never.” Hot tears pooled in my eyes, but I willed them to stay away. There was no way I was ruining this night by crying. However, I decided to share one thing that would give him some insight into my childhood. “When I was a kid, my parents would hold these clothing drives. Clothes for the poor. My mom would rummage through the donations first and choose my clothes from the piles of everyone else’s discards. I’ll never forget the day a girl in high school told me she liked my outfit. Apparently, it had been hers the year before. I was made the laughingstock of the school.” Jade had my back then, too. It took weeks for that girl’s black eye to heal.
He squeezed me to his side and held me there. The comfort of his embrace smoothed the sharp edges of the razor stabbing my heart. Until I moved away from my parents’, I never had a new outfit. Even my underwear had been hand-me-downs.
“You said you were invisible, but what does that mean?”
“I was a disappointment, and so eventually I was ignored.”
He turned to me and grabbed my chin. “That’s not possible. You could never be a disappointment, and you’re too beautiful to ignore.”
“I was expected to be perfect. When I wasn’t, it was worse than a sin. I was locked in the chapel until my dad was given a sign I was forgiven. They would walk around me as if I didn’t exist.” I felt his muscles tense. “When Mom called today and told me they were coming to lunch tomorrow, I wanted to scream. I took comfort in knowing I would be with you tonight…” I hesitated before adding, “…as in your arms…I matter.”
Was that too much? He’d said we’d enjoy each other, but what if me being so honest was not really what he wanted from me?
This was business, River. You wouldn’t share that with a boss, would you?
Chapter 15
Whispers from the door woke me. I pulled the blankets over my head and hid. However, the smell of fresh coffee pulled me from my comfortable cocoon.
“Breakfast in bed, Sunshine.”
I peeked over the blanket at the tray Jonathan had put in the center of the bed. Fresh croissants and raspberry jam, berries, and cream, lox and bagels. He ordered an assortment of items, a veritable smorgasbord for me. He handed me a latte and moved in for a kiss. I turned my head to avoid his lips. There was no way I would assault him with my foul breath.
“I have morning breath. Ewww.” I rolled to the side of the bed and headed straight to the bathroom, where my toothbrush lay on the marble counter. Minty fresh, I returned to his bed and his kisses.
“I don’t care about your breath. I just wanted to kiss you.”
And he did for over an hour. By the time we finished, breakfast was cold and my latte was flat, but my lips felt wonderfully swollen, and my heart felt full.
We lay in bed for the rest of the morning, watched TV, and made love. I knew it wasn’t really love, but it was the way I would want a man who loved me to have sex with me. When Jonathan had sex, he focused solely on me. It was beautiful to be seen, especially by someone so incredible. It was as if I were worth his time.
Time passed too quickly, and I was forced to shower and dress so I could attack the day ahead of me. I feared leaving him alone in the bedroom. Would I come out and find him gone with only a note and money to confirm his existence?
“Will you be here when I come out?” He smiled, which looked so good on Jonathan. Why did he have to be so attractive?
“Yes, I only left you the other day because I didn’t want it to be awkward.”
“Leaving me made it awkward.” Without thought, my lower lip dropped to a pout.
“I’m sorry, that wasn’t my intent.” His expressive eyes lowered.
“You don’t have to be sorry. I want to enjoy another kiss before you go. I don’t know when you’ll want my company again, so I have to make it last.” I didn’t wait for his response. I turned around and walked into the bathroom. The charm bracelet shone under the harsh bathroom lighting. A sun made of metal possessed with the power to warm my heart.
His thoughtfulness overwhelmed me. Never had I felt so comfortable in a man’s presence. Take the extravagant trappings away, and I’d still like him. He was nice and incredibly sexy. The bracelet slid from my wrist to sit on the counter. I’d wear it today to remind myself of him. Although I would be surrounded by darkness, I had become sunshine to someone else.
When I emerged from the bathroom, he was sitting in the plush chair by the window dressed in jeans and a button-down shirt. In his hand was part of the day’s newspaper, and the rest lay in sections at his bare feet. Reading glasses framed his eyes. I’d never seen him wear them before, but they looked damn sexy on him.
He lowered the paper. Tossing it to the side, he patted his lap and I crawled onto it. This had become my favorite place in the world.
“Are you going to be okay today?” His head tilted as he stared at me. He must be inquiring about lunch with my parents. Would I be okay? I could never be sure when it came to them. It all depended on the level at which they intended to wound me. My list of sins covered clothes to education, premarital sex to alcohol. It was never the same, and yet, it was always the same. Their intent was to crush my self-esteem and conquer my spirit. Short of becoming cloistered, I’d never be able to make them proud. After twenty-five years of trying, I’d just about given up.
“Of course. I’m meeting them at Dim Sumptuous at one. I’m hoping to be out of there by two and back home by three.” The chances of that happening were slim. It would take my mother at least an hour to list my sins, and then she’d give me several ideas on how to earn back grace. I’d be lucky if I got away by four, but I didn’t want to burden Jonathan with my issues. That’s not what he paid for.
“River, don’t let them dim your light.” He gave me a firm, reassuring hug. He always seemed to know when I needed reinforcement.
We left together. I insisted on taking a cab so he didn’t have to go out of his way. He kissed me before he placed me safely in the taxi. Safely was funny to think about because I had never considered riding in the back seat of a New York cab safe. I leaned out the window and waved goodbye. The sun glinted off my charm bracelet, reminding me that he thought of me as warmth and light.
* * *
When I told Jade I was meeting my parents for lunch, she groaned and told me to step in front of a bus. It would probably be less painful. I laughed and continued to get ready. It took over thirty minutes to choose an outfit that wasn’t sexy, too sassy, or a million other things my mother would find wrong with it. In the end, I chose the same outfit I wore the last time I saw them. I could remind her she’d seen it before, and maybe she would think I was being a good steward of my money.
Dressed in blue slacks and a conservative sweater, I stood outside the restaurant and waited. It wasn’t easy to stick your head in the guillotine. I allowed myself a few minutes for my breathing to normalize and my heartbeat to steady. Every time I’d been forced to see them, I felt like a dead man walking. With my pride tucked away, I entered the restaurant to find my mother’s face pinched, staring at her watch. I was five minutes early, and still, she frowned. Five minutes early. My father’s air of superiority weighted the atmosphere. For two people full of grace, they were the most miserable looking souls I’d ever seen.
“You’re pushing the time, River. I thought I taught you better. Timeliness is next to godliness.” She rushed over to pull the collar of my sweater higher up my neck before she patted me on the head like a Cocker Spaniel. I wanted to roll my eyes, but that never worked out well for me.
The hostess seated us directly under the head of a dragon, and somehow it felt appropriate to have its open mouth leaning in to swallow me up. I fidgeted with my collar and looked at my mother, who began her diatribe on the sins of women i
n the workforce. Once she finished, she moved on to the loose morals of today’s young women. I attempted to listen, but it was the same distorted voice on repeat. The only sound I heard was Jonathan’s, calling me Sunshine. Holding on to his voice would help me through the afternoon. Every time she would remind me I was nothing, I would remind myself I was the ray of light that brightened an otherwise gloomy day.
A shadow loomed over me, and I swore the dragon had decided enough was enough. He would just swallow me whole and put me out of my misery. Quicker and less messy than the front of a bus, perhaps? That was when I heard his voice.
“Hey, Sunshine, sorry I’m late. I got stuck in traffic.”
He slid into the booth next to me and pressed his lips to mine in a sweet, comforting kiss. His fist unfolded, and he set his keys on the table. The Rubik’s Cube took center stage.
I was speechless, but he was not. I couldn’t wrap my head around his presence. One minute a dragon was devouring me, and the next an angel was saving me.
“I should introduce myself. I’m Jonathan Ferris. I’m seeing your beautiful daughter.” He emphasized the word seeing, and I knew it was purely for my benefit. My parents were silenced.
Chapter 16
Jonathan’s hand disappeared under the table to rest on my knee. His presence reassured me. My parents acted like someone had cut out their tongues. It was mildly entertaining to see their discomfort. However, I would pay for it later.
“Sunday seems an odd day for a pastor to be away from his flock. How did you manage that?” Jonathan was a smart man, and getting my father to talk about himself was the smartest way for him to forget about me.
“We had a guest pastor step in today. Regina and I haven’t seen River for several months. We wanted to make sure she was faring well.”
The Dean’s List Page 14