* * *
At twenty-five, I should have found a better job than making coffee at the student union coffee shop. However, the hours were good and the tips were lousy. Starving students didn’t have a lot to spare. The benefit was they worked around my schedule, and since I’d been a barista for years, I didn’t require much training. At ten o’clock, I looked up to see the amber specks catch the light in his espresso-brown eyes. He approached the counter and ordered a black coffee.
I served him like I would any other patron except I drew a heart on his cup.
“I couldn’t stay away,” was all he said before he took a seat in the corner and watched me over his newspaper.
I found every reason to walk the lobby. On this particular Saturday, the tables had never been cleaner. When I was sure no one was looking, I would slide into his lap and steal a kiss. Too bad student loans had to be paid back. Too bad I couldn’t simply stay in his lap and enjoy his kisses.
At noon he disappeared, and at two he returned. He slid back into his chair and watched me complete my shift. He walked me outside. Winter had hit and the air was crisp and cold. I pressed myself into his body to soak in his warmth.
“Howard is here. I didn’t think you would mind the ride.” I had dreaded taking the subway today. The walk to the station was bad enough, but the limited weekend schedule would have had me waiting around endlessly. He always seemed to know what I needed.
We slid into the back of the car. His hand sat on my leg, and I could feel the heat of his touch through my black jeans. I shuddered, and he probably thought I was cold. My feet were freezing, but my heart? It was warm.
“Sunshine.” His use of my nickname made my heart swell. It was so full I feared it would explode. I’d missed that word rolling off his tongue. It was foreplay. That one word said in his deeply toned voice made my thighs clench and my insides shudder. “Will it ever bother you that I’m so much older than you?”
“Are you? I hadn’t noticed.” Of course, he was older than me. I needed that in my man. I needed him to be older and wiser. I wouldn’t have been attracted to him otherwise. Luca was my age, and I didn’t have the patience for his games. He was a gorgeous specimen with a child’s brain, but his rod still ruled his world.
Being a gigolo was the perfect occupation for him. His friendship had sustained me over the last few months. At times I’d needed his childishness and diverting vitality. I loved him like a brother, not a lover. He could never be enough man for me.
“I bought you something.” He slipped the small, blue box from his pocket. The Tiffany blue a complete giveaway to where he had shopped. He opened my palm and placed the box in the center. “You have this in the center of your palm. I’m giving it to you for all time and eternity.”
Of course, he was. Jonathan never took back what he gave. I opened the tiny box and stared. A charm lay on a bed of satin. Red and beautiful, he had given me a heart—his heart. This was more than a little bauble. This was a commitment to love me.
He pulled the charm from the box and attached it next to the sunshine. Raising my hand to his lips, he kissed it gently, his eyes never leaving mine.
“I will care for your heart always, Jonathan.”
“I was thinking that we might be able to negotiate an exclusive agreement.”
Deciding to tease him, I bantered back. “What about Ben?”
“Ben will understand. If he doesn’t, he can dine with both of us.”
“So, if I understand you correctly, you want all of my days and nights?”
“Yes, I’ll settle for nothing less than all of you.”
“That’s going to cost you.”
“Sunshine, you’re worth every penny.”
“Take me home so we can seal the deal.”
Howard drove us directly to Jonathan’s. Sitting in the entry was the one picture I’d fallen in love with at the opera.
He didn’t let me linger long. He pulled me into the bathroom, where he insisted I take a relaxing bath since I’d been on my feet all day. The man was going to drive me crazy. I slid into the hot bath and sank into the bubbles. I would have enjoyed it more if he had joined me, but he was up to something.
By the time I came out of the bathroom, the lights in the flat were dimmed and candles were glowing. Music played from his surround sound system, and the table was set for dinner. I was wrapped in the plush white robe he had left me.
“Jonathan,” I called. I found him staring out the window.
He didn’t say a word. He led me to the table, where he pulled out my chair and lifted the cloche.
On the plate was a handwritten note that said,
You are not sex…You are love.
I’d never felt like love until that moment. I’d felt in love, but the concept of being love had been foreign.
“Do you know how long it took me to fall in love with you?”
I shook my head. I had no idea.
“It took me as long as it took to see your picture. Your smile did it for me. I wanted the girl whose eyes laughed along with her body. I wanted you.”
“I fell in love with you the first time you looked at me. Your eyes smiled first, and I’d never seen anything so sexy.”
“I love you, River. I know our beginning was unconventional. I know we did things that we’re not proud of. I also know that a life without you isn’t much of a life. Your DNA speaks to mine.”
My eyes glanced at the counter where silver-covered dishes awaited. He obviously had some pull with restaurants around the city. This wasn’t your average take-out and delivery.
“How hungry are you, Mr. Ferris?”
“I’m starving, but not for food.”
I smiled. Words weren’t needed. He knew me. He knew what I needed, often before I’d known what I needed myself. My smile said, Take me. Love me. I exhaled audibly. That was the answer I was hoping for. Scooping me up beneath my knees, he carried me to his bed. On his nightstand was a silver-framed picture of me. It was the one he had taken when I’d lain naked in my bed. Like Sandra said it would, it had shown up somewhere.
I looked up at him, and he shrugged. He was making no excuses, and I wasn’t asking for any. I’d been the last face he had seen before he’d fallen asleep every night.
He pulled the tie of the robe aside and let the plush fabric fall to the bed. I watched his chest rise and lower as his eyes scanned my body slowly. It had been months since I’d been naked in front of a man—in front of him. I had my IUD removed because it gave me heavy periods and unbearable cramps. He wouldn’t be happy, but we had to use condoms.
My pubic hair had happily grown back. That might have been the best thing about quitting my job. I would never be subjected to that torture again. It shocked me how people paid good money for that treatment.
“My memory of you was already perfect, and yet here you are, more than my mind could have ever conjured.” He stripped off his clothes and lay next to me. His fingers traced my collarbone. The bumps rose from my skin like they were reaching for his touch. Minutes were spent caressing and exploring one another.
“I love this.” His fingers ran through my neatly groomed thatch of hair. I was so glad.
“I love that you love it because waxing is a hard limit for me.” Those were the last coherent words that left my mouth. Breathless panting, throaty moans, and tremulous screams were what came next.
He slipped between my legs and ran his tongue along my wetness. Hot, slick passion dripped from my center. When he slid one finger in me, I came off the bed. It had been way too long since I’d been touched, not only on my body but also in my heart.
With slow precision, he took me to the edge and brought me down. He never let me soar, but he didn’t let me fall. He kept me in that beautiful place in the center, where I floated on a cloud of his love.
He treated my body like a treasure chest full of priceless jewels. My breasts, my bottom, my sex were erogenous zones, gems he plucked from the treasure chest and buffed with h
is hands and lips until they sparkled under his care.
He settled between my legs and pulled in the treasure he found nestled between my slick folds. This time intent on making me fly. He rolled his soft lips over the hardened bud and sucked it into the heat of his mouth. When I thought he was pulling away, I grabbed his hair and held him in place. I loved the place he kept me, but I craved the place I knew he would take me.
He gently sucked and pulled until I trembled uncontrollably against his lips. He pulled every shudder from my body before he took his place above mine.
“Condom,” was all I could say. My brain was scrambled, but I wanted to be responsible. He looked disappointed, but he didn’t question my request. He pulled the foil packet from his drawer and sheathed himself.
The heavens sang when he sank himself deeply into my body. I was so moved, I cried. This was where I was meant to be—with him in every way possible. How did I think I could ever be without him? He was not someone you got over. He was not someone you moved on from. He was not someone you could replace. He was someone who changed lives by his mere presence. And, he was mine.
We rocked together until I was on the edge and he was diving off the cliff. Seeing the intensity in his eyes as he let himself go was beautiful. When he uttered the words I love you toward the end of his release, I flew. We were connected by something bigger than our sexual attraction. We were tethered by our souls. We were one.
Chapter 28
“Do you have any idea what time it is?” Jade stood in the hallway with her belly jutting out and her hands on her hips. She was already trying out her mothering skills. “I haven’t seen you since your last dinner with Ben. Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been? I left you two messages today.”
I lowered my head like a repentant teen, but inside I was filled with joy. We had promised to never cause the other undue concern, and I’d been MIA all day. I owed her an apology.
Over her shoulder, I saw the duo raise their eyes as she began her interrogation. Initially, I had no idea how she handled them both. Now, I wondered how they handled her. I was starting to question who was the sub and who was the Dom, as my Jade was a force to be reckoned with. It would take two men to keep her under control.
“I’m sorry, my phone was dead.” I raised my phone to show her the blank screen. My charm bracelet dangled in front of her. She saw the red heart, and her face relaxed. The tension drained away.
“Time to talk.” She pulled me from the hallway and into my room. She piled the pillows against my headboard and made herself comfortable.
“I was with Jonathan. He was at the fundraiser, and Ben asked him to take care of me.”
“I’m liking that old geezer more all the time. He was the only highlight in your week besides me.” She gave me the coy look that made strong men like Eric and Todd weak in their knees.
“I took a drive with Jonathan last night, and we cleared the air. You were right. Sandra had been a bitch and had lied. She told me he had moved on, when in reality he had quit the service.”
“I’m not defending her, but did she actually lie?” She pulled a pillow from behind her back and tucked it under her knees. She had been complaining about lower back pain lately.
“No, he had moved on from the service, but she had said she felt he was talking about me. That was a lie. She made me believe he wanted nothing to do with me.”
“You had his phone number all along. Why didn’t you call him? I kept trying to get you to do just that.”
I sat on the end of the bed Indian style and answered.
“I couldn’t take the rejection. For the first time in my life, I’d felt loved by someone other than you. How sad is that? I can’t even say I ever felt love from my parents. The saddest thing is I have no gauge on how to measure feeling and emotions. I just knew that what I felt with Jonathan was different from anything I’d ever felt. Whatever that was, I wanted more of it, and it was gone.”
“I know. I’ve watched you struggle to breathe since you showed up on my doorstep. I’ve also watched you grow in spite of the devastation you felt. I’m proud of you and the progress you’ve made. Tell me what’s happening. I see someone got a new Tiffany’s charm. Tell me about it.”
I told her how he had spent his morning watching me at the coffee shop. How he’d disappeared for a few hours, and how he’d returned with the little blue box.
“The man is symbolic in his gestures. That’s so romantic.”
“Yeah, it is, isn’t it?”
“When am I going to meet this guy? I’ve seen his flesh, but I want to see him in the flesh.” I regretted ever showing her his picture. I was fine showing her what I had, but I didn’t want to share any of what I now had.
“He’s picking me up for breakfast tomorrow morning. I can have him come up to meet you and your men.”
“Fabulous.” She clapped her hands and bounced on the bed until her little one complained with a kick.
* * *
Dressed in faded blue jeans and a white polo shirt, Jonathan looked classically casual. No one would ever mistake him for an average man. There was nothing average about him. He was incredibly wealthy but humble. Unbelievably handsome, yet unaffected by his looks. He was a genius in his business dealings and a sweetheart when it came to relationships.
He walked the gauntlet of the entryway and introduced himself to Eric, Todd, and Jade. They insisted we stay for a cup of coffee, but Jonathan told them we had so much time to make up for. He would be happy to chat another day, but today he had something special planned.
Howard was nowhere in sight when we walked from the building. Jonathan bundled me up next to him as we walked toward his home.
He undressed me and placed me in bed. “I don’t want to wake up another day without you. I owe you so many coffees in bed, so many kisses goodnight. We have to work out some kind of arrangement, Sunshine. I need you.” He disappeared from the bedroom while I snuggled into the bedding that smelled like him.
Several minutes later, he arrived with the perfect latte. I had no idea how he had procured it, and I didn’t ask. Jonathan had a way to get whatever he pleased. He stripped and climbed into bed next to me. He didn’t dive right into lovemaking. He dove into conversation. I sipped my coffee and listened to him tell me about how he had sold his house on Center Island.
“That must have been hard for you. So many memories.”
“It was time to let it go.”
I was sure it was hard to let go of that part of his past, but I was equally glad Claire’s ghost wouldn’t be haunting us forever. He asked me to decide where I wanted to hang my picture. The question confused me. Did he want to hang the painting here, or wherever I landed next? Jade’s wasn’t a permanent solution.
He reached into the drawer and pulled out two more boxes. One was a familiar blue box, and the other was white and nondescript.
I opened the blue first, and inside was a new charm. A key. I had no idea what it meant, but I clipped it next to the heart and jingled the bracelet around. The white box was opened to reveal a Rubik’s cube keychain with a key. Could this be what I’d hoped for? Was he offering me everything?
“My place is your place. I want you with me always. I want to be your distraction.”
“I don’t know…you or the Rubik’s cube? So many choices.”
“I’ll give you choices.” He snuggled into my side, nibbling at my neck. “You get two. Me…or me.”
“I’ll take you.”
We tossed everything aside and made love slowly. When it came time for the condom, I promised I would solve the issue of birth control soon. We both wanted nothing to come between us.
A crash from the kitchen startled me. I jumped up from the bed. “Who’s here besides us?”
“Don’t worry. We’ve missed so much, and I’m making sure we catch up. There is a team of chefs preparing our Thanksgiving dinner. I don’t know how yours was, but mine was spent eating day-old pizza and watching black and white movies al
one. Today is Thanksgiving in the Ferris/Roberts house.”
The Ferris/Roberts house? He wanted me here. In his home. Where he would love me and cherish me. How could I not love him?
Three hours later we sat down to a gourmet turkey dinner. Above my plate was another blue box. The turkey charm inside was clipped next to my key. My life with him was showcased on my wrist. My heart was filling up as quickly as my charm bracelet, and I couldn’t have been more content.
The following week was our Christmas do-over. I don’t know how he did it, but when I arrived on Sunday, there was a six-foot spruce sitting in front of the window. We spent the afternoon hanging ornaments and listening to Christmas music.
He persuaded me to take a bath, and when I returned to the living room the underside of the tree was stacked with packages. I could only give him myself. Of course, there was a charm, a beautiful bedazzled Christmas tree that he clipped next to the turkey.
We sat in front of the lit Christmas tree with the room lights off and the music playing softly in the background.
“I have opera tickets for next weekend. Care to join me? I have a private box.”
“Ooh, I love the opera. By the way, I have a private box, too.”
“You are a very bad girl.” He tugged at my pants and covered himself with the condom he loathed. I really did need to get on the birth control issue, but with school, work, and Jonathan, I had no time for anything else.
I straddled his body and let him slide into my private box. All was forgotten but our bodies as they rocked together in unison.
* * *
Jonathan had decided the opera would be our New Year’s. The last time we were in his private box, the Earth had shattered and the ground had fallen out from beneath my feet. Tonight’s show was The Magic Flute. Much like last time, I couldn’t have cared less about what was going on below us. All I wanted was to play with the magic flute in front of me.
The Dean’s List Page 25