Mind Platter

by Najwa Zebian

  A Step Forward

  You know those moments when you feel stuck between moving a step forward or staying where you are, comfortable in your own place, not wanting to commit yourself to something more? Those are critical moments that we often shy away from because of the unstoppable chain of questions attached to them: What if I regret this? What if I can get something better if I wait a bit longer? What if it's not really meant for me? What if now is not the right time? etc. Taking certain steps towards your future is one of the toughest things to do because you are afraid of being stuck with something that you can't get out of. You are scared of the unknown. We wish we knew what was coming, yet we love the feeling of something new. We would rather the route of life bestow its action upon us, and accept what it gives us and deal with it, than take the lead and go out to make our own future. We would rather respond to an action than initiate an action ourselves. I do that sometimes too, but I've come to the realization that a decision not made at the right time can affect the course of lifetime, a suitable commitment not made can change a destiny, and an opportunity for growth not taken can affect our biggest dreams. How do you determine what the right decisions, commitments, and opportunities are? This is where you take the lead. Balance your mind's logic and your heart's reason. Now make a decision, make a commitment, take an opportunity.

  Why I Believe

  Have you ever looked at the way that someone lives and thought to yourself that it just doesn't make sense? When we are born, we are acculturated into a certain set of beliefs that becomes the right way for us to live. It's the life that makes sense to us because that's all we know, and those beliefs become part of our identity. Anything else is new, and we avoid it because it just doesn't feel right. It makes sense to feel that way, doesn't it? You're raised into the beliefs of those who raised you because their beliefs are instilled in them and are echoed in the way they see your life progressing. Here's the catch. Are you able to defend your beliefs? Or do you just say, That's just the way it is? You must critically think about everything around you because, if you don't know deep inside the reasons you believe in certain things, you will lose your commitment to them at the first obstacle you come to. You have to be convinced by your beliefs, thoughts, and way of life. Think of the reasons you do what you do and the reasons you accept certain things and reject others. If there are no reasons, then work on finding them. Maybe then you can actually learn to accept that differences among humans exist and that the right life is relative. Take the time to evaluate your life. How can you take the lead in your own life if you've already allowed yourself to be a naive follower in it?

  The Right Thing

  When we say the right thing at the right time, it means that the time being right is included in making the thing right. That's why it would not make sense to say the right thing at the wrong time; the right thing cannot be right if it's not done at the right time. It is also not right if it is not done the right way or if it does not have the right purpose. Be cautious with the way you do the things that you do. Make sure that you complete a job that you start and realize that completing doesn't always mean that you are stuck with something till the end. It can also mean stopping, but that's the part we usually miss. We usually keep things hanging in space and time. Put your heart into anything you do and put in all of your efforts towards it. If you don't have the motivation for it, then maybe that is not what is meant for you. Stop doing what is not right for you and what does not suit your dreams. Learn from the experience. Start doing what you love, the right way.

  The Power of Ownership

  Everything that we are is to some extent owned by others. Our words once they are spoken, the way we look once we are seen, the actions we do once we act upon our thoughts. The only thing we have true ownership over is that which cannot be seen or controlled by others. Our thoughts. While a hurricane of thoughts may be going on in your head, you can seem like the calmest person on earth if you know where to draw the line between your thoughts and the extent to which you act upon them. Our thoughts are either translated to actions very early in their development, or they lead to bigger and deeper thoughts. They can also be translated into a strengthening power for us. Our strengths lie in the way we are able to control our thoughts and in the way we are able to manage our weaknesses by turning them into strengths. We should not allow others to own the control over our weaknesses, for once we do that, our strengths become slaves to those in control of our weaknesses.

  Will You Dare to Ask?

  Doubt and uncertainty are probably the two things that keep us from doing half of the things that we think of doing and that we regret not doing later on. Although some things are meant to be and some are not, there is that pressing feeling within us that just wants to know what is meant to be and what is not. While we want to know the answers to some of the burning questions that we have, we often fail to do the simplest thing that we can do to get the answer: ask the question. We don't ask the question. We live with the hope that it will magically answer itself with time, and our excuse is, If it's meant to be, it will happen. We would rather it be not answered and kept inside rather than be asked and expose our thoughts. At this point, it is a personal preference. Some people are blunt with their thoughts and will be straight up, and others not. Does that make either wrong or right? No. Does it affect their destinies differently? Yes. There is a difference between avoiding the questions that you have and seeking answers to them.

  Don't Lose Track

  I don't live in your heart or in your mind, so I cannot judge your intentions or your beliefs. Although your actions may give me a good impression of who you really are as a person, and although I may learn some lessons from your mistakes, I have no right to openly judge you because my purpose in life is not to criticize other people's lives but to be respectful and considerate of them along my own path to reach my end vision in life. My path may cross with yours, and I may believe that you are on the wrong track, but if I lose track of my path because I'm too busy judging yours, I will waste my time and yours. Who I am and what I believe in are mine to keep, and who you are and what you believe in are yours to keep. They are yours to strengthen, change, or even keep the same. As long as we can be true to ourselves, stay away from hypocrisy, and be respectful towards one another, we will be happy along our paths to reach our dreams. One day, you will realize that there is no one more worthy of your attention or your criticism than yourself. Imagine putting all of the effort and energy you spend criticizing others and exposing their mistakes towards bettering yourself. Wouldn't you be much more content and happy?

  Happiness Is at Your Fingertips

  There are moments when perfection stands in time and space, when the beauty of the moment does not need to be explained, just because no words are strong enough. Those are the most beautiful moments in life. When the sunset meets the sea, when the raindrops meet a thirsty land, when the waves hug the shore, when the storm ends and the rainbow begins, when a baby smiles or holds your hand. When beauty meets modesty, when humbleness meets sincerity, when sadness meets empathy, when happiness meets genuineness. Those moments cannot be recreated. They cannot be equated with a price. Neither can happiness.

  Sincerely, My Heart

  Just because someone doesn't acknowledge what you do, it does not mean that they don't see it. People are selective in making obvious what they see about you. They may acknowledge it in their hearts but avoid allowing you to see that. They may avoid that simply because they think it's expected of you and not anything that you need praise for. Others will not acknowledge your work because you don't acknowledge theirs. Others won’t because they think that you've got enough ego or confidence to the point that you don't need any praise. Some won’t simply because they think that even if they did acknowledge your work, you would not notice them. Similarly, some people will acknowledge what you do because they think that you did something that you didn't have to, or because you acknowledge what they do, or because they think that
you need praise to realize your potential, or because they want to be noticed by you. Don't evaluate yourself through people's words or through their praise. Let the sincerity in your heart for what you do break through that need within you to want to hear that you've done something right. Let the sincerity in your heart see the sincere acknowledgement in other people's hearts.

  Thoughts Unexpressed

  There are so many thoughts that would be much more beautiful if they were just kept as thoughts. Words sometimes don't do justice to our thoughts and feelings. They are better kept inside to last a while rather than said and forgotten. Every thought has the right time to be verbalized, and every feeling has the right time to be expressed. Meanwhile, enjoy the thought, enjoy the feeling, and give them the time they deserve to be as strong as you want them to be

  Goodness Gone Wrong?

  When someone you've done so many good things for makes you feel unappreciated, do you, even for a moment, wish that you could take it all back? Do you regret doing good things for the wrong people? Personally, I don't agree with that. At the end of the day, everything you do belongs to you. All of your actions belong to you, whether good or bad, for yourself or for others, intentional or unintentional. Instead of regretting doing something good for the wrong person, it is better to regret taking that time away from those who do good things for you. Don't ever regret a good deed. Ever. As much as it hurts to see that someone does not appreciate your work, your work is really not for them. Your work builds you and your personality. This is where you need to think of your purpose behind anything you do. If your purpose is to please others and look good in their eyes, then you are bound to be disappointed because your pleasure is in their hands, not yours. If your purpose is to truly and sincerely be a good person who spreads a positive and mature attitude which rises above individual needs, then you will be disappointed less often and in a different way. You will be disappointed that someone, regardless of who this person is, could be so blind and ungrateful for something good. You will be disappointed for them, not in them. Think of your purposes and work on yourself. Once we realize that we need to change the way we view the world before we try to change others, our purposes will be geared in the right direction.

  Be Sensitive

  It irritates me when people actually believe that they are better than others. It irritates me that someone could give him or herself the right to talk down to others or accuse others of doing things without asking for their side of the story. It irritates me when people get pleasure in seeing others fall flat on their faces in pursuit of their dreams. It irritates me when people strive to please and live up to those with money, status, and power. It irritates me when people are more negative than positive and spread their negativity wherever they go. It irritates me when someone does not return a smile. It irritates me when people judge others based on their looks before they even get to know them. It irritates me when people wait for the hidden purpose behind every act of kindness, not realizing that sometimes it just does not exist. It irritates me when I see love given and not returned. Many things irritate me, and I have learned that the way to stop that irritation is not by becoming immune to these things. It's a valuable quality to be able to recognize bad things when you see them and to learn from them. If you have that sensitivity, never let it go. If these things irritate you, work on convincing yourself that you will do what you can and that you can only do so much. At the end of the day, we're all human, and sometimes we cannot extend our helping hands further than they can reach, especially if others are not willing to extend their hands back.

  Let Go

  We often attach letting go to negativity because we take it as giving up, and giving up is a sign of weakness. That's not always true. Sometimes letting go can be as positive as holding on, and sometimes holding on can be as negative as letting go. Letting go of what makes you miserable is the right decision to make because while one opportunity that you are holding on to makes you cry your heart out, another opportunity is patiently waiting for you. It is patiently waiting for you to let go of what you have and hold on to this new opportunity. When you let go of what you have, do it the right way. Don't let go feeling weak. Don't let go feeling like you've done anything but your absolute best. Don't let go feeling like you were not worth the opportunity. It was not meant to be worth your pain, although it may have been painful. Think deeply into the purpose that made you take that opportunity, and if you've achieved that purpose, then take pride in it. Give yourself credit and don't ever let anybody put you down. Let go feeling like the biggest winner and let loss go home with the opportunity that never appreciated you. Reflect. Learn. Move on. Hold on to the next exciting thing that the world opens up for you and put your best forward, for your best will never let the inner you down. Ever.

  Decide

  Sometimes life throws at us what we think is more than we can handle. We stress. We complain. We spend more time worrying than working our way through what must get done. We complain if we don't have something and we complain more if we have it. We forget that, for something to be in our lives in the first place, we must have accepted it and decided to let it into our lives. I understand that sometimes you don't have control over what comes into your life, but at that point, you have two choices. You either accept the challenge or deny that it exists. If you accept the challenge, you need to prioritize your list of tasks and see where that challenge ranks and how much time and energy it deserves. Give it that much, no more or less. If you choose to deny its existence, no one is stopping you, but take responsibility for the decision of ignoring it. No one has to deal with your problems. We all have problems of our own to deal with. Whether you take the challenge or leave it, it will exist, and because it was meant for you, no one else can deal with it but you. That's the reality of life. It is the attitude with which we conquer life's challenges so that we live happily. Sometimes the feeling of achieving something is greater than the achievement itself. So, don't take a challenge too personally. Accept that you must deal with it and realize that you can because you've dealt with many challenges before. Remember that there is a reason for its existence, although that reason may be hidden in the seventh sky. So, will you choose to face your challenges with a positive attitude? Or will you keep ignoring what you must deal with and pile it on top of everything else that you've been ignoring? Whatever you choose, take responsibility for it, not because you have to, but because you can and because you want to. Life never comes against you. The way you deal with it comes against you. Be at peace with yourself and see how many challenges you can take once you give yourself the credit that you deserve for being able to deal with life's most difficult times.

  Inspire

  If you aim for perfect, you will always be disappointed. Don't expect everyone to be up to your expectations unless you are willing to live up to someone else's. We have to accept that no one is perfect and learn to let go of the mentality that people can't change. People are not all born into the same environment, and they are not born with the same definition of what is right and what is wrong. What we see as someone making a mistake may only be our perception that something is wrong. Their perception may be that everything is completely fine. Sometimes all a person needs is to fall once or twice to learn on his or her own. Sometimes all a person needs is to come across those who will inspire him or her to change for themselves. Is it fair that we give up on people because of what they've done in the past? Is it fair that we define people by their pasts rather than their progress towards their future? Be the person to inspire others to change if you can, and if you can't, then don't destroy them by confining them to what they've done before. Don't set people up for failure by showing them that they're not good enough. When you make others feel that you believe in them and that you believe that they can change for themselves, you will see what a world of a difference you can make.