Bad Dad

by Sloane Howell

  “All right, buddy. So, here’s the deal. I know you love having Ms. Chapman come hang out at the house. And she’s still going to come over, and I know this has all happened really fast, okay?”

  Logan nodded.

  “We’re not doing anything wrong, but it’s just easier on everyone if we don’t talk about it at school, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “We have to be careful because if people know that she’s hanging out here a lot, they might think that you’re getting treated better than the other kids. And she has to be fair to everyone. Does that make sense?”

  “I think so.”

  “It’s just while you’re in my class. Once the year is over it won’t be a big deal.”

  “Okay.”

  Landon reached out and took Logan and hugged him tight. He cupped Logan’s head in his palm, like he had in the hallway the first time I saw him. It still made me weak in the knees to see how much love he had for his son, and to see that love reciprocated, knowing everything they’d been through.

  “This really means a lot to me, big man. More than you know. I know it’s a lot to ask. You’re the best son in the world and I love you so much. You know that, right?”

  “I love you too, Daddy.” Logan rubbed his tiny hand on the back of Landon’s shoulder, then turned around. “I don’t want you to get in trouble. I want the class to be fair.”

  “Thank you so much. You are a fantastic student.”

  “All right, big man. Let’s go eat.” Landon and Logan raced down the hall. I followed behind them, smiling like an idiot, my heart full.

  CHAPTER 21

  Landon Lane

  MY EYES FILLED WITH RED and I couldn’t tell if the pounding sound was my blood in my ears, fists crushing my face, or the waves clobbering the beach. It was a relentless and steady cadence. Knees pinned my shoulders to the ground and the strikes came from above like a giant windmill.

  “Enough.”

  The pressure eased up, but my whole body numbed over. I couldn’t feel my legs. Eight years old and I lay there, nearly bludgeoned to death at the hands of a six-year-old monster.

  I tasted metal and felt two teeth on my tongue. I spit them out to the side so I wouldn’t choke. When my vision cleared I saw Edmon’s face, hovering over me. The green auroras floated through the sky above him.

  He shook his head. “You disappoint me.”

  He put an arm around the other boy and strode for the barracks. I rolled my eyes to the side and saw Joe and the others. They all walked away. All of them left me there in the middle of the black sand.

  A hand grabbed hold of my arm and yanked me out of the vision.

  “Dad.”

  It sounded a million miles away from the other end of the sea, but it approached quickly like it skimmed across the waves.

  “Dad!”

  Convulsing.

  “Daddy wake up!”

  My eyes sprang open. Logan bawled in front of me. His face was puffy and red, and tears streamed down his cheeks.

  My shirt was drenched in sweat, but I yanked him into a hug anyway. The ice-cold beads rolled down my forehead and into my eyes, but I squeezed hold of Logan like he was a life raft.

  “Daddy!”

  “I’m okay, buddy. I’m okay.”

  “Have fun on the island?” Joe grinned from down the hall.

  I shot a glare in his direction and squeezed Logan as tight as I could.

  He trembled in my arms. Tears ran down his face and soaked into his Star Wars pajama shirt. “Y-you were shaking, and I d-didn’t know what to d-d-do.”

  “I’m okay. I promise.” I pulled his head into the crook of my neck.

  He could barely breathe, and I wanted to absorb all the fear from his tiny body. After a few long minutes, he finally calmed down a little. Joe walked up from the end of the hallway and stood in front of us.

  “Good. You need to remember so your ass knows what you’re up against.”

  Logan’s bottom lip quivered.

  “Let me get my son back to bed and then we can talk.”

  Joe glanced to Logan. I watched him trying to work out the problem. It finally clicked. “Oh, right.” He bent down in front of Logan and reached out with the most awkward hand pat of all time on Logan’s shoulder. “It will be okay.” It came out monotone and staccato.

  Logan reached back out and patted him the same way. “Thanks, Uncle Joe.”

  Joe’s eyes lit up like he’d done something right. He must’ve realized he was becoming human, because he grunted and walked away.

  I followed Logan to bed and climbed in with him. I flipped his lamp on and he curled up into a ball and nuzzled his head on my shoulder.

  “Were you fighting him?”

  “It wasn’t much of a fight. It was when we were younger. In the place I grew up. Sometimes I have dreams about it. They feel real until I wake up.”

  “What was it like there?” Logan sat up.

  “Logan, buddy.” I shook my head. “I don’t—”

  “Dad, I want to know. Please tell me something.”

  “Why do you want to know so bad?”

  “Because you’re my dad.”

  The words knifed into my heart like a cold shard of glass, and yet warmed me at the same time.

  Joe stepped inside the door. “He’s right, you know.”

  My eyes rolled over to Joe. “What do you know about being a father?”

  “Nothing, but I know about being a boy. He’s going to be a man someday. Maybe the man of this house, soon.” He stopped the second he’d said it. “It’s your job to teach him. Even I know that much. He can handle it.”

  I turned to Logan. I saw all the innocence in his face. Everything I’d worked for seven years to protect. It was disappearing more each day. “I’ll tell you a little.”

  Logan sprang to life on the bed.

  “I’m getting hot chocolate.” Joe deadpanned his words and walked out of the room.

  I shook my head. Jesus.

  “Dad?”

  “Yeah, buddy?”

  “What’s wrong with Uncle Joe?”

  I glanced toward the door. “A lot.”

  I nudged Logan in the ribs and we both laughed. “I’m kidding. Uncle Joe hasn’t been around people much. I’ll tell you some more here in a minute when he gets back.”

  A few minutes later, Joe walked in with three steaming mugs. He shoved one in front of my face. “Drink up, asshole.” He handed Logan’s over with far more care and the corner of his mouth twitched like he wanted to smile.

  I stared at him and shook my head.

  He glared. “Janet made it while I watched Rambo. That guy has guts, but he’s a moron.”

  “So, the island?” Logan’s eyes got big. “You both were born there?”

  I nodded. “There were fourteen of us in team one. The man who showed up at the house with Uncle Joe, Edmon, he’s a scientist. He umm, he made us in a lab. We weren’t born like you or Cora or Janet. We didn’t have moms and dads like that.”

  “You’re like Frankenstein?” Logan asked.

  “Where’d you see Frankenstein?”

  Logan shrugged. “There’s a cartoon.”

  Joe took a sip of his hot chocolate. “Actually, we’re like Frankenstein’s monster. Dr. Frankenstein would be Edmon. But keep going and don’t mind me.” He had a marshmallow stuck to the top of his lip.

  I stared at him blankly and shook my head.

  Logan giggled. “Where is the island? Is it still there?”

  “Oh, it’s still there.” I crawled out of bed and grabbed the globe off Logan’s bookshelf. I brought it over and spun it around. “This is New Zealand. Then if you go way south, almost to Antarctica, it’s right about here.” I had to tilt it at an angle to get to Antarctica and put my finger right next to it in the middle of the ocean.

  “Dad, that’s water.”

  “Nope, there’s an island there. An old active volcano.”

  “It’s true.” Joe nodd
ed.

  “Nobody knows it’s there. It’s not on a map. It’s called Hell’s Island.” A sharp pain struck me in the stomach. If Logan repeated any of this to anyone it would most definitely have consequences.

  I stared at him. “Son, I need you to listen to me carefully, okay?”

  Logan’s face paled. “O-okay.”

  “You cannot tell any of this to anyone. Do you understand?”

  He nodded. “Okay.”

  “You know how we talk about running in the street or if you see a gun not to touch it?”

  He nodded, gravely.

  “This is right up there with that. Nobody can know. Uncle Joe and I know we can trust you with this, I’m just making sure you know how important it is. That’s all.”

  “Okay.”

  I continued. “Your Uncle Joe and I, we were made on the island. They trained us to be special soldiers. For a military.”

  “Whoa.”

  “I know it sounds cool. But—”

  “It is cool.” Joe glared.

  “Okay, it’s pretty cool.” I shook my head at Joe. “I guess.” I turned back to Logan. “But at the same time, you know, we didn’t get to watch cartoons, play video games, go to school. We learned how to hunt, fight, survive on our own.”

  “Did you kill people like in the movies?”

  “Yes.” Joe grinned.

  I shot him a death stare.

  “You wouldn’t have told him if I didn’t. He needs to know.”

  “Do you want me to kick your ass in this room? He’s not your son. He’s mine.”

  Joe took a sip from his mug. “You can try.”

  Logan looked at me like I was some kind of hero because of Joe’s answer. I put a hand on his shoulder. “There’s nothing cool or exciting about killing someone. I hope you never have to know what that’s like. And there’s nothing good about fighting. Only in danger.” I glared at Joe and told him to keep his mouth shut with my stare.

  “Only in danger.” Logan nodded while he repeated our rule.

  I needed to change the subject. “You want to hear more about the island?”

  “Yeah!”

  “It was freezing cold from about the chest up, but the volcano warmed the ground. It’s the weirdest thing. I can still smell the sulfur from the lava pit, even to this day.”

  “Mmm, that smell.” Joe sniffed the air.

  I nodded at Joe. “Oh, and the aurora borealis. You’ve never seen anything like it. They dance across the sky non-stop there. It’s the coolest. It’s because it’s so close to one of the electromagnetic poles on the earth. They look like green ghosts waving across the stars. It’s one of the worst places on earth, and I still miss it sometimes, because it’s like home, you know? My home. It’s all we knew growing up.”

  “Is Uncle Joe really my uncle?”

  I took in a deep breath. “Maybe. We’re not sure how Edmon made us in the lab. But since we were all made at the same time, we called ourselves brothers and acted like a family. So, he’ll always be Uncle Joe no matter what.”

  Joe blew on Logan’s cup and handed it to him. “It’s not as hot anymore.”

  I could tell that Joe had a sense of pride in being called Logan’s uncle. Never in a million years would I have foreseen this moment in our past. But now it almost seemed normal.

  “Can I ask one more question, Dad?”

  “What is it, big man?”

  “Can you beat the Sid guy?”

  I mussed up the hair on top of his head. “Anyone who knew both of us would tell you no. It’s not possible. Sid was made after us and he’s optimized to be the best warrior on the planet.”

  Logan’s face dropped.

  I tilted his chin up. “But I never thought I’d have a son and be able to be a dad.” I took a huge gulp of air and tried not to choke up. “And I never would’ve thought I’d be able to raise a son as perfect as you.”

  Logan smiled and gave me a giant bear hug. “You can beat him. You can do anything.”

  I glanced over at Joe.

  Joe sat there for a long second. “Hell, I might just believe it too.”

  CHAPTER 22

  Landon Lane

  I KNEELED IN FRONT OF Logan. It was time for me to get on the road. Janet sat on the couch reading one of her books.

  “Okay, buddy. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

  Logan nodded. “I can watch, right?”

  “Yeah, but you go to bed right after.” I glanced to Janet.

  “I’ll make sure he’s in bed.”

  The birds chirped outside, and the sun started to peek through the windows on the east side of the house.

  “Okay then.” I gave Logan a huge hug. “I’ll miss you, big man.” We fist bumped and I messed up his hair a little. “Take care of the place. You’re the man of the house while I’m gone. Uncle Joe and I will be back soon.”

  I stood up and walked toward the front door on Joe’s heels. “Bye, Janet.”

  “Yeah, yeah, take your time getting back.” She grinned.

  I turned around and walked over to her and gave her a hug too.

  She pulled me back and put her palms on my face. “And take care of your big ass I suppose.”

  “I will.”

  “And go see her before you go.”

  “On my way now.”

  I gave Logan one more hug for good measure. I’d never been away from him for longer than a school day.

  They came out on the porch and waved as we backed down the driveway.

  WE PULLED UP A FEW houses down from Cora’s place. I didn’t want to take any chances.

  “We need to get on the road for Vegas.”

  I nodded and pulled my hood up over my head. “I’ll be right back.”

  The crisp air bit at my fingertips and I shoved my hands in my pockets. Cora opened her door after a few knocks and a sleepy glare met me. It slowly turned into a grin. To me she was most beautiful when she first woke up in the morning. No makeup. Just her.

  The sun had sent light orange rays cascading across the blue sky when I stepped inside.

  “So, this is it, huh?”

  “Yep.”

  “You nervous?”

  “No.”

  She stared at me like I was some crazy-looking insect. “Really?”

  “These two fights will be easy. It’s just a show.”

  “Cocky much?” She chortled and poured herself a cup of coffee. “You want some?” She held up the steaming mug.

  “Naw, I’m good. Thanks. And no, not cocky. Just facts.”

  A horn blared down the street. I shot a glare toward the noise.

  So much for being subtle, Joe. You dick!

  “I want to stay longer, but he’s going to barge in here if we don’t get on the road soon.”

  “I’m surprised you didn’t leave earlier. You’re going to get there right about the fight time. Don’t you have to like warm up or train or something like that?”

  “No. That’s how we want it. I don’t want to deal with the press beforehand.”

  “Just show up and kick someone’s ass and leave?”

  “Pretty much. It plays up the whole mystery thing too. People want to know more about what they don’t know.”

  “That’s how you got me.” She smiled.

  “I know.”

  She shook her head, and then her face tensed. “This is going to be a big deal isn’t it?”

  “Yes.” I stood up. “It’s going to change a lot of things around here.”

  She turned away and walked to the back window. I watched her from behind.

  She stared like she was looking beyond her backyard. “I’m worried about you.”

  I strode over and took her mug out of her hand. I sat it on the window sill and wrapped my arms around her from behind. She smelled like shampoo and coffee. I didn’t want to stop smelling her—touching her. She leaned back into me.

  “Don’t be worried. There’s no need for it yet.”

  “Being cocky again.”
She smirked.

  “You’ll see.” I kissed along her neck and watched her eyes flutter closed. “Will you be able to check on Logan later?”

  She smiled. “I’m going to sneak over there when it gets dark.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered in her ear and made sure to exhale warm breath down her neck.

  Her hands covered my arms and she pulled me tighter against her. Her ass pressed up against me and my cock jumped to life at the sensation. I knew she felt it.

  “You should go.” She pressed against me again and her eyelashes fluttered. “I’m having dirty thoughts.” She turned around in my arms and locked her hands behind my neck.

  Our lips mashed together, and I pressed my forehead against hers and stared into her eyes.

  “Soon,” I said.

  She nodded against my forehead. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

  “I will.” My hands slid down to her ass. I couldn’t help it. I pulled her tighter against me. “I promise.”

  My heart hammered. Cora’s breaths shallowed. I kissed her harder, faster.

  I didn’t have time to do what we needed to do, but I couldn’t pull away from her either. She was my drug of choice and I needed a fix in the worst way. Our tongues played back and forth, and she ground her hips into me. A moan caught deep in her throat.

  The horn outside blared.

  My jaw tightened and I gritted my teeth. “Fuck.”

  Cora nudged me away. “Go.”

  “Okay.” I snaked my hands through her hair and kissed her on the forehead. Then I looked down into her eyes. “We’ll continue this when I get back.”

  “We better or I might die.” She smiled that gorgeous smile at me.

  “Love you always.”

  “Always, babe.”

  Babe.

  Joe threw his hands up in the car as soon as I stepped away from the porch. I shot him a middle finger and pulled my hood back up. I didn’t know if he understood but it made me feel better.

  I turned around to face Cora. “I mean it. I’m finishing what we started in there. As soon as we’re alone again.”

  Cora stood beneath the threshold. “I’ll be waiting.”

  I walked back and gave her one more kiss, then took off in a slow jog toward the car. I looked over my shoulder every two steps and watched her and the porch grow smaller.