Bad Dad

by Sloane Howell

  She stared down at me with a freshly-fucked smile on her face. I looked up at her arm in the sling and she didn’t wince. If she was in pain, she was an expert at hiding it. I released her hand and her palm slid to my face. “I’m fine, babe.”

  Babe.

  My heart danced and sang for her. I wanted to be everything that she needed and more. I would be everything she needed and more. I’d go to the ends of hell and back for her. Protect her. Hold her. Fall to my knees for her. Fucking worship her and love her every day like the sun might burn out of existence the next. She was mine.

  I rose to my feet and brushed my lips across hers. Smiled against her mouth. Licked and tasted her lips. All was right with the world in that one moment. That was the moment I knew there was no way I could fail. We both looked out at the water. The sun rose up over the mountains and cast a shivering beam of light across the rippling river. It was just—perfect.

  WE GOT BACK TO THE house and Joe was watching the television in the living room. They were playing highlights of Sid and me over and over, and there was footage of Cora’s car in the water. My face went hot. The assholes must’ve gone through the woods and found their video camera, and then somehow salvaged the footage from it. They didn’t say anything about the reporters causing the accident or Joe and me flipping her car over and saving her.

  It was kept generic and speculated that maybe there were problems with our relationship. I balled my hands into fists at my sides, but knew I had to keep a clear head. It was why I didn’t even venture into town anymore. We’d filed a police report and pretty much left it at that. What more could we do?

  Cora’s fingers laced through mine. I angled my head down to her. “Even if I win, we’re always going to deal with this.”

  “It’ll be fine. We’ll get used to it. People forget things.”

  “Not for a while.” Joe turned around. “It’s all over some shit called Twitter.”

  I scowled at Joe. “Hey, man. Watch the language in front of Logan.”

  “Why? He’s a man now.”

  Logan and Joe high fived and giggled.

  Janet walked into the room about the time Edmon came on the screen. “I can’t believe they let him speak in public.”

  Joe turned the volume up. Edmon looked like he was staring right at me through the screen. Just like that, I was back on the island.

  “Anticipate.”

  “Be in tune with your surroundings.”

  “Kill without being seen.”

  “You were never there.”

  I snapped out of my past and focused on the screen.

  “We’ve seen the challenger fight. While he is impressive, he’s just no match for Sid. We predict that Sid will end him in the first round. A knockout is the least of the challenger’s worries.”

  Edmon wouldn’t even say my name on the screen.

  Joe noticed it too. He stared at me and gave me a look. A look that only he and I would understand. No matter how much we hated his guts, something inside us still craved attention from the sociopathic scientist from Hell’s Island. He’d fucked us up in the head. Brainwashed us from birth.

  “What does he mean that’s the least of your worries?” Cora looked up at me.

  “It means they want Landon dead.”

  Everyone glared at Joe at the same time.

  Joe shrugged. “What? It’s the whale in the room. No need to be afraid to say it.”

  “Elephant.”

  Joe stared at me and cocked his head to the side. “What?”

  “The saying is ‘elephant’—never mind.”

  Logan watched me. His eyes stayed locked on mine. I did my best to give him an I’ll be fine, Son look. I had to believe it was true.

  CHAPTER 35

  Landon Lane

  THE DAY HAD COME. THE day to leave.

  I stepped up on the scale and eyed the screen. It read two hundred and forty-six point two.

  “You’re fat.”

  “Point two pounds, dick.”

  I stared in the mirror. Joe stood behind me but a little off to the side, half of him hidden behind my broad shoulders. I’d never been so ripped in my life.

  I’d bulked up to about two fifty-two a few days ago and then cut the last six pounds. It was the key to getting just the right size and making the most of every ounce of muscle. I’d need it.

  Losing the six pounds gave me better mobility. Too much mass and it restricted movement. Too little and you lacked power. I was in optimum condition to do the maximum damage.

  Everyone started to pile into the car. I picked up Logan in the front yard and stared around at the place. I was going to miss it. So was Logan. He had a tear in his eye like he might be looking at it for the last time. It’d been our home since he could remember. He didn’t know anyplace else.

  It’s funny how you can take for granted something as simple as assembled boards and drywall. Land and mountains and fields. I knew every blade of grass and every tree for acres and acres. Knew them all intimately.

  “Bye.” It’s all I could think to say to the place. All I could get out anyway.

  Logan nodded and buried his head in my shoulder.

  I stared off at the sun rising in the east then looked back west to the mountains. It hit me hard in the stomach, all at once. I knew Logan felt the same thing.

  Cora lifted her good arm and her hand caressed my tricep. “We have to go, guys.”

  I threw my left arm around her and pulled her in tight. Logan looped his arms around my neck. The three of us stared off at the mountains for another quick moment.

  We got in the car and hit the road.

  It was a thirteen-hour drive to Vegas with five people in the car. I’d made the drive twice in the previous two months.

  The plan was to drive seven hours to Salt Lake. Spend the night. Get up and drive the rest of the way to Vegas. I didn’t want to wear Logan out and I wanted everyone fresh for after the fight. They’d all take a nap once we got into Vegas. Joe and I booked two suites at the MGM Grand to make sure everyone had a nice, big bed.

  Who knew what would happen after the fight. I’d thought about sending everyone out of the country and not letting Logan, Janet, and Cora go, but Edmon would find them. He had unlimited resources. Having them nearby was my best bet at protecting them. If Edmon or whoever he was working for caught them halfway across the world, I’d never see them again.

  We took off down the road. Got into Salt Lake City around two p.m.

  EVERYONE HAD TOLD ME WE should rest at Salt Lake, but I had other plans. Joe paced back and forth in the hotel room.

  I shook my head at him. I didn’t want to leave Cora behind, but I needed time with Logan. She understood. It was only a few hours. There’s never a promise of tomorrow.

  I grabbed Logan. Maybe it’d be the last surprise I was ever able to give him. No more Christmases. No more birthdays. Edmon had made it pretty clear they were aiming to kill me on national television.

  I took Logan to Hogle Zoo. We were going to forget the world for a few hours. Just him and me. I needed time with my boy.

  We pulled up and he was a little apprehensive, but it soon wore off. We walked all over the place. We drank Gatorade and looked at the animals. Took a ride on the train. Logan rode on my shoulders. The sun landed on our backs and we were nothing but smiles. Nothing else existed. I could tell Logan didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want it to end. It wasn’t going to end.

  As we left, we both turned back and looked at the zoo. Logan squeezed his arms around me and we turned and walked through the parking lot. At the car, I kneeled in front of him before opening the door. “We will do that again.”

  I knew he saw it in my eyes.

  It was a tough promise to make, but I intended to keep it.

  He dove into my arms. I cupped his head in my palm and squeezed him tight against me. Smelled his hair. I gripped him harder. Tears streamed down my cheeks. Everything was getting too real too fast. Logan sniffled. A man should
never have to feel like a day at the zoo with his son will be his last. He should never have to feel the pang in his gut that I felt in the Hogle Zoo parking lot that day.

  Edmon was going to pay for that. I was going to destroy his glorious creation on national TV.

  IT WAS ONLY ABOUT SIX-THIRTY when I carried Logan to the hotel elevator. He was already passed out on my shoulder. Likely out for the night.

  I walked into the suite and Joe was watching a movie on the sofa. Janet and Cora both looked up from their books. They smiled at Logan conked out against my neck.

  I walked into the bedroom and lay him down on one of the queen beds. Pulled his shoes off and tucked him in. I dropped a kiss on his forehead like I always did. “Love you, big man. I had fun today.”

  He squirmed a fraction and hugged the pillow tight.

  I walked back out and sat down at a small kitchen table that was in front of a breakfast bar. Joe walked over and took a seat next to me.

  We had to talk about what was going to happen tomorrow. It was all figured out with multiple contingencies. We were ready.

  CHAPTER 36

  Landon Lane

  LOGAN WOKE UP AROUND FIVE a.m. He made sure I got up too.

  We sat in the living area of the hotel room and watched cartoons. I didn’t want to move. Didn’t want to do anything else that day. I didn’t want to do anything more than sit on a couch and watch cartoons with my son. But I couldn’t, and sitting around feeling sorry for myself wouldn’t help make that simple wish a reality. Later that evening I’d be fighting for our lives. We needed to be on the road by eight. Three hours. I counted down the minutes in my head even though I tried not to.

  Logan curled up next to me. I could feel the anxiety in his small body. It wasn’t obvious. It was the subtleties that added up. I went to use the bathroom and he wouldn’t take his eyes off me. He looked at me like it was the last time he might see me. He stayed next to my side everywhere I went. Scooted up right next to me on the couch and if I inched over he moved with me.

  Joe got up next. He couldn’t believe we’d woken up before him. I didn’t know if that was a good sign or not.

  Janet and Cora rolled out of bed at the last minute. We loaded all our stuff into the trunk. Everything had fit into two suitcases. The guys didn’t need much. Couple sets of clothes and that was it. It had seemed a bit more difficult for Janet and Cora.

  It was a six-hour drive straight through. We ate breakfast in the car and stopped once for gas and restroom breaks. I pulled into the parking area of the MGM at a quarter after two. Five hours before the fights would start. Approximately eight hours before my fight with Sid, depending on how the undercard bouts went.

  I tuned out from any form of media I could. I didn’t want to see what anyone was saying. Focus was the key. Focus on the fight. Focus on our plans. We had to succeed. Failure wasn’t an option.

  Joe walked into the lobby alone to check us in and survey the situation.

  He was the decoy. News vans circled the place. He was a big enough dickhead to push them away and not say anything. Pictures of Sid and me were everywhere, all the way into town. Fight of the century, they all said.

  I grabbed our stuff and threw my hood up over my head. We followed a kitchen employee in through a workers’ entrance and walked through a large expanse and back to a hallway that led to the end of the lobby. Joe walked up through the casino and met us there. The elevators were around the corner.

  We needed to get to the rooms so everyone could take a nap. We all needed to be rested. There was no way I could sleep, but I could lay around for a bit. I’d get up and walk around some too, keep the blood flowing, muscles loose. Maybe a light snack for me. Everyone else could eat whatever they wanted.

  Joe handed me a key. “Adjoining suites. Fifth floor.”

  I nodded.

  We rounded the hotel bar and went back toward the elevators.

  I gulped.

  Edmon stood there with a shit-eating grin on his face. He was alone. I figured he’d probably been there for hours waiting for us.

  People walked by. I kept my hood down over my face. Most of the people had on those awful Hawaiian tourist tee shirts or WMMA gear. Everyone looked in our direction. They had to have recognized Joe and then seen me with my hood on. Our size made it difficult to blend into the crowd.

  A few kids ran up and I signed pictures they held out at me. No way would I ever say no to a kid.

  I couldn’t sign the stuff fast enough and more of them were coming from every angle. It would turn into chaos quickly, as soon as people started walking away and telling other people we were down there. They all wanted Joe’s autograph too.

  “Held up my end of the deal.” Edmon smiled again. “Didn’t bother you.”

  “Not exactly.”

  “What do you mean?” He pretended to look puzzled.

  “You interfered with Cora’s job. You had that guy in town provoke me with his biker friends.”

  He shook his head. “That wasn’t me. I’m too important to worry myself with trivial things. You should know this.”

  I sketched a wave on a kid’s picture and told him thanks for coming to the fight. “Doesn’t matter.” I sighed. “Is there something you need?”

  He kept staring down at Logan and then back at me. “Wanted to give you one last chance to back out. Go down on the first punch. You can come back to active duty with Joseph. We’ll make sure nothing happens to your family.” He leaned in and whispered the last part.

  “Not gonna happen.” I replied without thinking it through. He was trying to throw off my focus. He’d never keep that promise. Wasn’t in his nature.

  Edmon looked at Logan again. “I’ll make sure he’s in the best schools. Ivy League of everything. Just come back to the island. Back home.”

  I paused for a second. Why would he do any of that? He was lying. Full of shit. I glanced around. Everyone stared at us. There was a guy in a suit at the bar staring hard. He looked away when I glanced over. I shrugged. Probably with Edmon. I was sure they had people everywhere, watching every move we made.

  “That’s not freedom. It’s a slave’s sentence.” I looked at our group. “Let’s go.”

  Edmon grabbed my arm when I shoved past him. “You’re not thinking clearly. You’re being irrational, Son.”

  I glared at him. “Let go of my arm. I’m not your son. Hope your man is ready. We’re not kids anymore.”

  Joe parted the crowd like the Red Sea and we walked through. I signed every autograph I could on the way there. I wanted to sign them all, but I needed to rest. After we stepped through the elevator door, but before it closed, I apologized to those I hadn’t gotten to and thanked them for coming to watch me fight.

  We shot up in the elevators to the fifth floor and Joe stepped out first to locate the rooms and make sure the coast was clear. I heard a whistle and we all filed out and walked at a brisk pace to the suites.

  Once inside, I took all the bags to the rooms. Everyone else plopped down on couches and beds and relaxed. The two rooms were adjoined and accessible by a door between them. It was like a giant apartment with two kitchens, two living rooms, and four bedrooms.

  “Everyone get ready to nap. I have to go down and weigh in here in a little while.”

  Joe and I sat in the living room. His eyes were somewhere else. They danced around the room and then back at me like the gears in his head were spinning. He hadn’t been this quiet in a while.

  “Something on your mind?”

  He looked away from me again, this time like he was staring beyond the walls. “You’re not focused. He’s in your head.”

  “Look who’s worried now.”

  “I’m being honest, not worried. He’s going to destroy you. This is all a mistake.”

  I stood up. “What the hell? We worked our asses off for this, man. Planned it to a tee.”

  He just shook his head. Wasn’t hearing anything I had to say.

  Janet walked out of one
of the rooms. “You two need to keep it down. Logan is trying to sleep.”

  “Tell him.” I pointed at Joe. “He’s the one with the issue.”

  “I’m not your damn babysitter.” Janet’s hands went to her hips. “And don’t give me this ‘he started it’ shit. Logan needs to rest and you’re keeping him awake.”

  “Fuck this. I’m outta here.” Joe stormed toward the door.

  “Where you going?” I glared at him in the doorway.

  “Wherever the hell I want. Try to stop me.” He slammed the door shut on the way out.

  “God. What’s his problem?” I stared at Janet.

  She gave me one of those looks that let me know I was an idiot and oblivious. “Seriously?”

  “What? What did I do?”

  “Nothing, Landon. Jesus. The man cares about you. Cares about Logan, Cora, and even me. He’s still a human being.”

  “Why’s he being a dick, then?”

  “He’s afraid of losing us.”

  “Well, I need to focus. I don’t have time to hold his fucking hand.” I glanced around the room and lowered my voice when I dropped the f bomb.

  “He knows. That’s why he left.”

  “You heard from Gus?”

  “Nope. Not a peep.”

  “You can go, you know? Go be with him. I know you and him haven’t had much time together lately. Cora can handle Logan if something happens.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not letting that boy out of my sight. And it has nothing to do with not trusting Cora. It’s because I love him like my own son. Like I love you. So don’t get it twisted.”

  I nodded. “Okay. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

  She walked over and sat down beside me. “I know I give you a lot of shit. You deserve some of it. Not all. But everyone here knows you didn’t choose for any of this to happen, okay?”

  “I know.”

  “Do you?” She put a hand on my leg and stared into my eyes. “You have to stop blaming yourself.”

  My jaw clenched, and I shook my head at the wall.