To Christmas with Love

by Jennifer Robins

  Paul sat on the edge of the bed, taking off his shoes. He held his left hand up to admire the ring on his finger. ”I knew the moment you put this ring on my finger you really belonged to me, we became bonded. If anything ever happened that I had to let you go, I’d have to give you this ring back.”

  She’d always wondered why he’d said that. Those last words followed her into slumber. Perhaps he’d had a premonition of his fate.

  Chapter Two

  “I can’t come in today. I have things to do. You told me I would have this Friday off, and now you call and ask me to put in another full day.” Nadine sat at the kitchen table, a cup of hot coffee in front of her, the phone pressed tightly to her ear. “I’m sorry, Mr. Williams, but I can’t come in today.”

  She sipped at her morning brew as she listened to his attempt to con her into another weekend of cleaning the office. Cleaning wasn’t her job. She’d been hired for secretarial work. He was so cheap, he used her for duties far beyond what she’d been hired for. He’d put off the cleaning lady to save a few bucks. She desperately wanted to give him an earful, but she needed the money and couldn’t jeopardize her standing with the company. Better be careful and not lose my temper and my job.

  “All right, Nadine, I guess it’s been a long week for you. I’ll see you on Monday.” Thank goodness she didn’t have to argue with him any more than that.

  Catching up on three weeks’ worth of laundry took up most of the morning and part of her afternoon. When a knock sounded on her door, she set aside the blouse she’d been folding to go answer it. “Well, what brings you over here today? I thought you were going to your parents’ to help them with Christmas wrapping.” She held the door open to let Tessa in. “Come on. Have you had lunch?”

  Tessa stomped her feet on the welcome mat before coming in. “My mom had to take Dad to the doctor. He’s been coughing for the past few days. So here I am, and yes, I’m hungry. What are you making?”

  “I was thinking of one of those frozen pizzas I have in the freezer. Just pop it in the oven and in ten minutes we eat. Okay?” The small kitchen area off the living room was furnished with a stove, a fridge, and plenty of counter space—adequate for a single person in a small one-bedroom apartment. “I’ll put it in. Go ahead pour yourself a cup of coffee. I only made it about fifteen minutes ago, so it’s fresh.”

  Tessa helped herself to coffee and took her cup to the table. “I knew you’d be here today working on household neglect. I see you’ve taken care of your laundry. Something I should do.”

  “Then why are you here?” Nadine asked as she joined her friend at the table. “Is it still snowing out there?”

  “I wanted to get out of my place. I was bored, so I came to see what you were up to. Besides, I’d like to hear more about this date you have with this handsome guy you danced with last night. And, yes, it’s still snowing out there.”

  “Huh! The truth of the matter is, you’re being nosey about my—” she cleared her throat, “—date. By the way, it’s not really a date. Remember, he has my wallet. I’d like to have it back. It just so happens he’d like to give it to me over dinner.”

  “Did he make a pass at you last night?”

  “Careful, you’ll drool all over my table. No, he didn’t make a pass. He bought me a drink, which I refused at first, but he insisted. Then he dragged me to the dance floor. It was all so stupid. I don’t know why I let him do that.”

  “Could be because you’re alive, breathing, healthy, and I might add, lonely.”

  Nadine went back to the kitchen to check on the pizza. “This looks done,” she said when she opened the oven door to take a peek. “It’s pepperoni, your favorite.” She took it out of the oven and placed it on the top of the stove. “You should have added, tired.”

  “You work too much. Ask for a vacation. You should have one coming by now.”

  “Come get your pizza so you can stuff your mouth. I don’t want to hear your comments. I have a fat chance of getting any time off now. They have so much going on, at this rate I’ll never get one.”

  ****

  At least the snow had stopped by the time Nadine walked out the back door of her apartment. The ground cover sparkled as the lamps in the parking lot danced beams of light along the perimeter of the building. Cool, fresh air hit her face as she hurried to her car. Remembering her snowbrush was still in the trunk, she hurried to get inside the car and push the release button. So much snow had piled up on the windshield that it took her a while to clean it all off. Winter—it reminded her of Christmas, and she didn’t want to be reminded.

  The Surf and Turf restaurant was always crowded on a Friday night, but David had made a reservation. Nadine walked in the door to see him waiting in the lobby, sitting on a bench. He got up and rushed over to her. “They have a table ready for us. Did you have any trouble getting here?”

  “No. The roads are clear, so I made it here without piling my car up on the curb. I hate this kind of weather. It’s hard to get around.” He looked great, as he had the night before, but tonight he’d dressed a little better. No jeans and sweatshirt tonight. He’d paired casual slacks with a blue pullover shirt that accented his eyes. A pretty sharp-looking fireman, she thought as she eyed him up one side and down the other.

  He took her arm when the waitress walked up to them. “I see your lady has arrived. Let me show you to your table.” David led her along while the young woman, a lovely brunette in a short skirt, led them to a table in a rather secluded corner. “Here you go,” she said as she set their menus down on the table. “Can I get you a drink from the bar?”

  David looked at Nadine, waiting for her reply. She glanced back at him with a nod. “Go ahead and order yours. I’ll have coffee with cream.”

  “All right then, I’ll have the same, only make mine black.”

  The waitress left to get the coffee. Nadine picked up her menu. “I know they have great crab legs, but I think I’ll have the salmon. It comes with salad, French fries, and green beans.”

  David hadn’t taken up his menu. He kept staring at her with a half-smile on his face. When she spoke, he lowered his eyes to the menu in front of him. “Salmon is good, and good for you, but I think I’ll have steak, medium rare.”

  She set the menu down and peered over at him. “Can I have my wallet, please? I’d feel a little more comfortable knowing it’s in my purse.”

  David sat back and reached into his pants pocket. “Yes, of course, we met so I could return it to you, didn’t we?” He reached over the table with the wallet in hand. “Here you go.”

  She took it and put it in her purse, which lay alongside her leg. “Thank you.”

  “Aren’t you going to check to see if everything is there?”

  “No. I’m sure you wouldn’t have called me to let me know you had it if you were going to take anything out of it.”

  “It’s nice to know I’m trusted. After all, I am a stranger to you.” He reached for her hand, but she pulled it away from the table to place in her lap. “Well, I’m happy you feel comfortable with me,” he said as he withdrew his hand.

  The waitress returned with their coffee and David gave her their order. “And bring plenty of hot rolls with butter, please,” he requested. The waitress’s friendly face made Nadine feel a little better. She smiled back at the woman.

  David led the conversation. “I’m glad you came to dinner with me. I was afraid you wouldn’t, after how I pushed you last night. I get so caught up in the music and the atmosphere of that place. I’m Irish, you know…David McCoy, of the McCoys of Dublin. But you probably don’t know who I’m talking about. Why should you?” His laugh was jolly, spirited. “And how about you? Any lively background you’d like to share?”

  Nadine tried to avoid eye contact, so as to not get too involved with him, but she couldn’t resist his happy demeanor. “I’m only a simple person, working to pay my bills and stay independent. Not much to tell.” She brought her cup to her lips, peering over the
rim before she took a sip from it. He did look nice—handsome, too. She hesitated with the cup still held to her mouth. Here I am, sitting with a man I don’t know, having dinner. I must be crazy. She sipped at her coffee, and then set the cup down. “I lost my husband two years ago.” It just slipped out of her mouth before she could think.

  “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Was he sick a long time?”

  “No, it was an accident.” She found herself opening up to him, though she hadn’t intended to do so. She didn’t know why she felt so comfortable with him. “We’d only been married a few months.” She toyed with her napkin, keeping her eyes downcast. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be telling you this. You were kind enough to invite me out and I don’t need to spoil the dinner with my troubles.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with telling a friend about your life, so don’t be shy, go right ahead. I’m a good listener. Besides, I’d like to know everything about you.”

  Before she could say more, the waitress came with the salads and rolls. “More coffee?”

  Nadine looked up at her with a smile. “No thanks, not for me.” She glanced back at David.

  “I’m good also.” He placed his hand over his cup. “Could you bring more butter, please, and a tall glass of water with ice?” His eyes strayed over to Nadine. “Did you want anything?”

  “No thanks, I’m fine.” She dipped into her salad, taking a good forkful. “This is enough for now.”

  To Nadine’s surprise, the dinner date was really nice, more so than she’d expected. David had a way about him, inspiring her to open up to a getting-to-know-you conversation. She hadn’t talked with a man like this in the entire two years since she’d been widowed. The one thing she noticed about him more than anything was the way he spoke with a happy tone in his voice. It made her feel comfortable. And the food was great.

  David reached for a roll. “I take it you live alone now that your husband’s gone.”

  “Yes, I have an apartment. It’s the one we rented before our wedding. When the lease was up after a year, I went ahead and signed up for another twelve months. I didn’t have any other place to go at the time so it was just as well I stay right there.”

  “Sounds like you made a good choice. I hate moving. I’ve been in the same apartment for four years now. It’s a small one-bedroom unit over in the Rose Garden Apartments. It’s not bad.”

  “My husband and I looked at those, but the one we took had more room. Now I don’t need the space, but I have everything there. All my furniture, lamps, you know—things.”

  “I work long hours when I’m on the schedule, which is at least twice a week, so I’m not home much. It doesn’t matter if I have a lot of space—don’t need it.”

  “I suppose having a smaller apartment makes it easier with the upkeep. I struggle to keep up with mine because I work long hours most of the time. When I get home, I’m exhausted and can’t seem to find the energy to do anything. Then I end up spending a whole weekend catching up.”

  “Do you ever get out and do things you’d like to do?” he asked.

  “Not often. I’m too busy.”

  He reached across the table for her hand, and this time she didn’t immediately pull it away. His touch was soft, gentle, warm. “Would it be possible for you to find a little time to spend with me? I’d like to see you again.”

  “Maybe.” Slowly, she slid her hand out from under his.

  “Let me pick you up tomorrow for a night out, with dinner and a movie.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that. You don’t even know where I live.”

  “Yes, I do. I looked in your wallet, remember? I had to find out how to get hold of you.”

  Nadine lowered her head. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to have dinner with you again, but I’m not sure about movies. I haven’t been to one in so long. I don’t have a clue of what’s out there. Everything I see is on cable TV.”

  “Well, what kind of movies do you watch on television?”

  She glanced around as she gave it some thought. “Family stuff. I like a good mystery or something with a little excitement.”

  “I know just the one. There’s a good family flick at the Lyric Theater this weekend. I think you’ll like it.” He waved for the waitress. “Now that our date for tomorrow night is settled, I think we should have some desert.”

  She held up her hand, palm out. “Not for me, please, I’m stuffed.”

  “All right, then how about a drink before we go?”

  Nadine nodded. “Okay, I’ll have a brandy please.”

  While she sipped at the golden liquid in the snifter, she once again thought of Paul and felt guilty about being out with another man. It was silly to think she shouldn’t be there, but the guilt was there just the same, even more so when she felt the surge of attraction when she looked at David. She finished her brandy in a quick, burning swallow.

  David held the door for her on their way out. The night air helped cool some of the infatuating heat generated by this man she’d only known some twenty-four hours. She hurried to her car as he stood watching her. He’d brought back feelings she’d thought were as dead as her beloved husband. A cold rush of shame ran through her blood as she turned the key in the ignition, glancing back at him. This sudden feeling of being unfaithful to a deceased husband overwhelmed her.

  We had a wonderful time. There’s no need to react this way, she thought as tears blurred her vision. Headlights from oncoming cars skewed her view. She swiped her eyes with the back of her hand and straightened in her seat. It’s just the time of year, the holiday season, she surmised.

  For the first time in two years, she’d actually felt some happiness. “I’m entitled to that, at least,” she said out loud. She reached for her wedding ring, which she wore on a chain around her neck. “What would Paul think?” A quick flash of his image overlaid on the windshield in front of her, as if his face was mirrored there. It made her heart pound with sorrow.

  They’d had so many plans, so much to look forward to. Christmas dinner at his parents’—it would have been her first holiday with his mom and dad. They’d been great, welcoming her into the family as though she were a daughter. She’d planned to bring along her classic eggnog with a little Christmas joy added in, and to attempt the cookie recipe her mother had given her.

  Her apartment now in sight, she got a grip on herself and slowed down, pushing the thoughts out of her mind. The chill of the night felt good against her burning eyes as she rushed to the door of her building. She replaced the sad memories with those of her dinner with David. Great food, good company, a night out for a change. What was wrong with that? Should she cancel tomorrow night because her memories of Paul provoked her to regret and guilt?

  “No, I’m going,” she said as she unlocked the apartment door. She almost smiled as the words escaped her mouth even, though she struggled between two emotions—one of guilt, the other of joy.

  She hit the switch beside the door to turn on the lamp. It was quiet in her little home. A place to hang her clothes, to sleep, a place of her own to take care of. Once, she’d taken pride in the way she’d decorated it. Now she thought of the place as a convenience, and nothing more.

  The ringing phone broke the silence, and she rushed to grab it from the end table next to the sofa. “Hello?”

  “Just wanted to make sure you got home all right.” The sound of David’s voice sent a thrill down her spine, the likes of nothing she’d ever felt before. “And I wanted to know if you enjoyed yourself tonight.”

  What was it about him that set her off like this? “I made it okay, no problem. I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon. But it’s nice of you to be concerned about me. I had a wonderful time tonight. Thank you.”

  “Well, you’re a special lady. I’m glad I was fortunate to meet you. I’m happy you enjoyed the evening out with me. I’m looking forward to tomorrow night.”

  “Yes, I’ll be ready at six. I just hope you don’t expect a long time relationship out
of this. I’m not ready for anything like that. It’s been a long time since I’ve dated. It feels a little odd.”

  “We won’t worry about those little details right now. I’ll be by for you at six tomorrow night. Now gets some rest, sweetie.” She heard him take a deep breath. “Goodnight.”

  “Goodnight, David.” She hung up and held the phone to her chest for several moments before setting it down. How she wanted Paul’s approval, but she could only speculate about what he might say to her. She hugged herself and ran her hands up and down her arms. It felt like Paul’s arms around her, protecting her. She could feel him, smell him. Her eyes scanned the room as though she might see him. She desperately wanted to hear him tell her everything was okay. How long would she continue to miss him, to be devoted to him? Would she forever feel his presence, or was this her hopeful imagination running wild?

  Nights were lonely. During the day, she kept busy, making it easier not to think about Paul. Life had dealt her a nasty blow, but she was surviving. And for the first time in two years, she was doing something different. She’d gone out on a date, and was about to go on another. As a matter of habit, she reached for the ring on the chain around her neck. Clutching it tightly, she thought of her wedding day when Paul had slipped it onto her finger. Then she visualized herself putting the ring on his finger.

  If only they’d found it in the burnt wreckage. It would have meant so much to her—a symbol of their love, a keepsake of those wonderful days of happiness and romance. Sure, there were other keepsakes, but nothing as important as the one that had bound them as husband and wife.

  She thought she spotted a shadow passing in front of the window. She jerked her head to the right to look closer, but saw nothing. Still, she could feel the presence of someone or something. Wanting to believe it was Paul’s spirit watching over her, she hugged herself again and sat back.

  Chapter Three