The Games of Supervillainy (The Supervillainy Saga Book 2)

by Phipps, C. T.

  “I swear to you,” I said, over to my wife. “Most superheroes are not like this. Please do not take him as a role model.”

  Mandy rolled her eyes. “I know, Gary. Sunlight is... unique.”

  “But kind of awesome,” Cindy said.

  I stared at her.

  Sunlight punched his left palm as if spoiling for a fight. “The thing is, the Brotherhood of Infamy's efforts have reached the misery saturation point of being able to summon their god. Amanda, due to her knowledge of the cult's inner-workings, has indicated the only way we might possibly stop the arrival of Zul-Barbas is the Book of Midnight. A mystical tome of darkness which contains all the black magic in the world, including the spells necessary to summon as well as dismiss Zul-Barbas.”

  “So, you want us to help get the magic book?” I asked, hoping we'd gotten to his point.

  “Indeed!” Sunlight proclaimed. He then frowned, looking a little annoyed. “I would have gone to Ultragoddess for help but she flies and it's rather difficult to catch up to her.”

  “Maybe you could signal her, like with a big U-spotlight in the air,” Cindy suggested.

  “That would draw thousands of zombies on us,” Sunlight said.

  “Ooo, good point.”

  I felt the bridge of my nose, wondering if I was seriously hearing this right. “Do you know where the Book of Midnight is?”

  “Oh yes,” Amanda said. “It's in my house.”

  I paused. “And the reason you haven't gotten it is—”

  “It's guarded by a horde of cultists, wizards, and death machines.”

  Good answer. “Okay, we'll go get it. Anyone have any objections?”

  “Yes,” Angel Eyes, Cindy, and Diabloman said at once.

  “No,” Mandy said.

  “Mandy’s vote is the only one which counts,” I said. “You've got our aid, Sunlight.”

  “Splendid!” Sunlight said, giving a heroic thumb's up. “May this help atone for your murder of Shoot-Em-Up.”

  “What was that?” I said, my voice suddenly dangerous.

  “But now I must go,” Sunlight said, turning around and posing. “To protect the innocent!”

  A glowing flash of light from his hologram projector briefly blinded me and when my vision cleared, he was gone.

  “So, he just showed up to give exposition and disappear?” Cindy asked. She searched the stage's remains for her picnic basket and found it under some boxes. “Lame!”

  “The Brotherhood of Infamy has access to countless evil magics capable of killing even demigods,” Diabloman said, showing concern. “It might be a better idea to lay low rather than attempt to engage them directly.”

  “Falconcrest City does not deserve my assistance,” Angel Eyes said, putting his hand over his chest.

  “Am I getting paid?” Cindy asked.

  “Double your share,” I said.

  “I'm in,” Cindy said.

  “Guys, I think you have forgotten the true meaning of supervillainy,” I addressed my henchmen. “It's about getting rich and busting heads. Neither of which is going to happen if the Brotherhood of Infamy succeeds.”

  Neither Angel Eyes nor Diabloman looked convinced.

  “I'll give you first crack at any supernatural loot we scavenge,” I added.

  “Alright then,” Diabloman said.

  Angel Eyes nodded. “The Chosen of Aphrodite is pleased.”

  “Please top calling yourself that,” I said, feeling my face.

  “Why?”

  “You’re just coasting on a relationship from a couple thousand years ago.”

  Angel Eyes blinked, then furrowed his brow thoughtfully.

  “Thank you, Mister Karkofsky,” Amanda said, walking over and putting her hand on my shoulder. “Now that's two I owe you.”

  “Just get your checkbook ready after this,” I said, staring at the billionaire. “I'm not doing this for free.”

  Amanda nodded.

  “Where did Sunlight go, anyway?” Mandy asked, looking at the self-styled Nightwalker.

  “No idea,” Amanda said, shaking her head. She then made a circle gesture around the side of her head with her finger. “He's a semi-decent trainer but Coocoo for Cocoa Puffs.”

  “Obviously,” I muttered. Turning back to everyone, I gestured to the door. “Okay, everyone, let's all pile into the Nightcar. We're heading to Stately Douglas Manor.”

  “It's more of a castle,” Amanda said. “And not really very stately. More creepy and weird.”

  “I have my own transportation,” Angel Eyes said.

  “Good,” I said, not really caring.

  I took a moment to look down at the late and unmourned Ice Cream Man's zombie corpse. It had a wooden stake jammed into its brain and didn't look like it was coming back. I proceeded to freeze his body to liquid nitrogen levels then conjured forth a sledgehammer made of ice to start breaking it up to pieces.

  “Uh...” Mandy looked a little appalled.

  “Just in case,” I said, sighing, and wiping my head off. I then dumped the sledgehammer on the ground. I then rubbed my hands together to warm them up. Noticing everyone else had left but my wife, I decided now was as good a time as any to make a confession. “I need to talk to you about something.”

  “Yeah, so do I,” Mandy said, removing her earrings.

  “Is this about replacing your wedding ring diamond with a death ray? Because that's actually pretty awesome.”

  “No.”

  As we stood there alone on the stage, I heard the cracking of thunder outside and the sound of a gentle rainfall. There were also moans outside, coming in through the giant hole in the wall from the Ice Cream Man's steamroller. I wasn't sure how to explain what I was feeling guilty over but I wasn't going to hide it either.

  I took a deep breath. “I kissed Gabrielle.”

  “Technically, she kissed you,” Cloak said.

  “I kissed back,” I replied in my head.

  Mandy popped her head up, staring at me. “I'm feeling both pissed and hypocritical.”

  “Hypocritical?” I asked, wondering just how far she was willing to go to manipulate Angel Eyes.

  “No, not him,” Mandy said, sighing. “Never him. I admit, I flirted a little but I didn't intend to go any farther. I, uh, kissed the Black Witch. She was with Ultragoddess' team when they came to help. Twice.”

  Selena Darkchylde a.k.a. the Black Witch was my wife's ex-girlfriend. She was also a supervillain, which meant my transformation into one had to be messing with my wife's self-esteem. Mandy and Selena had been in love during their college years until Selena's increasing fanaticism led her to become a multiple murderer. Mandy finally turned against her and married me but I'd found out, on my journey to the moon, Selena had gone back to the side of the angels by becoming one of Ultragoddess' Shadow Seven. The world would never forgive Selena for her crimes but she might be able to achieve a measure of personal redemption despite it.

  And yes, this meant that the Black Witch, Merciless, Nighthuntress, and Ultragoddess had all gone to school together before their other halves got married or joined the same superhero team.

  The world was a strange place.

  “Eh, you're all in the same profession. It's not that strange,” Cloak said.

  “I disagree,” I thought, trying to sort through my feelings. To my wife, I said, “I’m angry, jealous, and most of all curious what this means. How...how do you feel about Selena?”

  “I love her,” Mandy said, causing my heart to sink. “I always will.”

  She paused.

  “But I'm married to you,” Mandy said.

  I stared at her. “I love you.”

  “Gary...” It was clear my answer wasn't enough for her.

  “Together, until the end,” I said, smiling.

  Mandy smiled back. It was like the whole room brightened up. “Until the end.”

  I looked out the hole in the wall. “Let's go save this city before I don't have anything left to conquer.”


  Mandy snorted.

  “I'm serious,” I added, walking to the door. “I'm thinking of renaming it Mercilessville or the Kingdom of Mercilessland.”

  We argued about it all the way to the car.

  Chapter Nine

  Where I Learn the Power of the Cloak

  Amanda, uncomfortably, sat between Diabloman and Cindy in the backseat of the Nightcar. Mandy took the side seat beside me. Angel Eyes decided to follow us in a white and gold limousine straight out of the Disco Era.

  I tried to remember my car was cooler.

  “You stole the Nightcar?” Amanda asked, after about five minutes of driving.

  “We didn’t steal it,” Mandy said.

  “Yes, yes we did,” I said, smiling proudly. “Fear the wrath of Merciless!”

  “No supervillain actually says stuff like that,” Amanda said, looking at me strangely. “Right?”

  “A few do,” Diabloman corrected. “Mostly lunatics.”

  While I had the autopilot engaged, I did my best to figure out how we were going to save the city. I also started planning my sudden but inevitable betrayal of Angel Eyes. The Greek God was too dangerous, unstable, powerful, and well, Greek, to tolerate as part of my gang. The fact he was stalking my wife, no matter how capable she was, meant he had to go.

  “Maybe I should look up hydra poison,” I muttered under my breath. “That kills demigods. Yes.”

  “Hmm?” Mandy looked over at me. She wasn’t exactly dressed for assaulting a bunch of well-entrenched cultists but I figured we could break into a store and get her a practical outfit on the way. “Is something wrong?”

  “Nothing.” I turned back to watching the road. “Just plotting Angel Eyes's death.”

  “Ah.” Mandy was annoyed. “Surprise, surprise.”

  “It's within the rights of every husband to plot the death of his rival. It’s in the Supervillain Code.”

  “You’re not rivals,” Mandy muttered.

  No, we weren’t. My wife might have a taste for supervillains but I didn't think she was interested in the beautiful blond-haired cologne commercial back there with his expensive suits, fabulous style, chiseled good looks marred only a single scar, as well as ravishing....dammit. I really hated Superhuman Beauty as a power. Really, my actual rival, wasn’t a villain at all anymore. The Black Witch gone legitimate, working for the man now, and was ironically working for my ex-lover. Mandy and I needed to talk more about this situation and I positively dreaded it.

  Mandy, thankfully, distracted me. “Also, there is no such thing a Supervillain’s Code.”

  “Yes there is,” Cindy piped up in my defense. “I've read it!”

  “Then you just made that up.” Mandy sighed, leaning her head against the passenger side window.

  “That is also in the code.” Diabloman placed his hand over his heart. “It is the province of supervillains to make the rules up as they go along. Also, to ignore any of the rules in the code as they see fit.”

  “Hence, of course, why we're supervillains,” I clarified, smiling. “To be a supervillain is to be free to do anything you want when you want it because you say so.”

  “It’s really not,” Cindy said, popping her head between the front seats to look at me. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t be stuck hanging around with you hoping you’ll pull a job which makes me really-really rich. Not that I don’t like you. It’s just very few of us are doing the supervillain thing as a philosophical lifestyle choice.”

  “Or any of us,” Diabloman said, crossing his arms in the backseat. “You’re rather unique, Boss.”

  “I am what I am,” I quoted Popeye, “and what I am is a supervillain.”

  “Technically, aren't you an antihero?” Amanda said, not realizing my feelings on them. “I mean, you've killed a bunch of supervillains since your debut. You also killed that big demon on the moon and helped save the Society of Superheroes. Everyone is talking about it.”

  “Gary! How could you?” Cindy said, sounding betrayed. She was mocking me, I hoped.

  “I swear, it was for purely selfish reasons!” I said, crossing my fingers. I then called back to Amanda, “And don't ever say that again.”

  “Weird,” Amanda muttered. “So terribly weird.”

  “The truth is everyone is a hero in their own mind,” Diabloman said, looking out the window into the rainy night outside. “I was raised by the Brujah Circle of the 9th Gate to serve as the champion of the Great Beast Arkon-Gul and defeat my little sister, Spellbinder, after she rejected her destiny to be the Anti-Christ. Even then, I thought it would be better for the world to be ruled by the Dark Powers.”

  I'd heard of Spellbinder, she'd been a Mexican sorceress member of the Texas Guardians, the team which Ultragoddess had briefly been on during the Nineties while I'd been struggling through high school. Her story hadn't ended well. Like a lot of heroes I’d found. I hadn’t realized, until this moment, Diabloman and she had been siblings.

  “What happened?” I asked, genuinely interested.

  “Spellbinder sacrificed her life to destroy Arkon-Gul,” Diabloman said, taking a deep breath. “I realized, in that moment, I was the villain in her story rather than the hero in mine. That is what ruined my career as a supervillain and what set me down on the road of ruination I eventually walked.” He paused. “Everything else was just an excuse.”

  “You actually thought the world being ruled by demons would be better?” Amanda asked, staring at him.

  “Humans can convince themselves of anything if they try hard enough,” Diabloman said, glancing over. “I have too many sins on my conscience to ever go straight and my family willingly sold themselves to damnation, so I do not wish to worship a god who would separate me from them, but I do not lionize supervillainy. It is simply my chosen path because I know nothing else.”

  “Well, that's just depressing,” I said, shaking my head. “You should embrace your idiom with gusto.”

  “I am,” Diabloman said, mysteriously.

  Mandy then surprised me by asking. “Are you thinking of taking the Book of Midnight for yourself?”

  Amanda looked ready to kick Diabloman out of the car.

  Diabloman said, “I was tempted when I heard its location. I could kill you, seize the book, summon Zul-Barbas in place of the Brotherhood, and achieve the undreamt of power the cult promised me since birth.”

  “But?” I asked, suspecting otherwise.

  “I find...I do not want to. I was raised to believe that without the hand of gods, mortals would degenerate into killing, murder, and evil. That they would be like the Great Beasts. Fierce and amoral with a hatred for all life and an endless capacity for cruelty. Instead, I find, like you I am inclined to do what I want and what I want is to protect my family. Perhaps your insane philosophy is not so insane after all.”

  “No, it's pretty damned crazy,” Cindy said. “I'm glad I'm doing something rational by killing people for cash.”“Well, if I’m the one calling the shots then I better start codifying my philosophy.” I put my hands on the steering wheel.

  Mandy glanced at me. Her eyes looked like they were boring into my soul. It was sexy as hell. “Oh?”

  I coughed. “Rule number one, of course, being to do what my wife says.”

  “Nice save,” Mandy said. “Maybe you won't be sleeping on the couch for the next thirty years.”

  “I should hope not. I just got out of prison.” I started fiddling with the radio. I needed some music to help me think. We had a long ride to Douglas Manor given all the abandoned cars, debris from damaged buildings, and zombies blocking the way. The Nightcar A.I. was good at navigating around them but was taking a lot of detours.

  I took my hands off the wheel. Not touching anything was my new strategy. “Okay, Amanda, why don't you tell us the whole story? We've got time and I, for one, am very curious how you managed to get one of the seven Reaper's Cloaks.”

  “I don’t know this is pretty private. Hold on, my dad’s talking.” Amanda talke
d with her cloak for a minute, exchanging short phrases that were meaningless without context. In other words, it was like any normal conversation a girl might have with her father. “Okay, my dad says that it's okay for me to trust you. For now.”

  “Man, trapped with your Dad in your head for all eternity. That's rough. I only have to deal with a perverted old man in my cloak,” I said, sympathetically. “God knows what demented voyeuristic kinks I'll have to learn to live with.”

  “I hate you. I really do.”

  “I'm not the one who used to hang around with a bunch of weirdos in tights,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “You do that for forty years and you shouldn't be surprised when people talk.”

  Mandy looked at me strangely. I'd have to explain to her that Lancel was probably going to be watching us for the rest of our natural lives. Add that to the list of troublesome things supervillainy had brought to our marriage.

  “I've spent my entire life trying to be little more than the social construct my parents made for me,” Amanda Douglas said, frowning. “They're the ones who created the party-girl persona for me as a way of promoting our hotel brand. I've always hated the fakeness and superficiality of the upper class in this city. I'd like to say that's because the majority of them were being groomed for the Brotherhood of Infamy but it turns out most of them are just that shallow.”

  “What about the sex tape?” I asked.

  Mandy shot me a glare.

  Amanda rolled her eyes. “Worst mistake of my life and a creation of my manager. I don't think I've ever actually been with a man who really cared what I thought.”

  I was surprisingly sympathetic. “I'm sorry.”

  “The kidnapping was a wake-up call so I suppose I owe Diabloman, Cindy, and the Typewriter. You as well, for rescuing me,” Amanda said.

  “Please don't say that,” I said.

  “You did,” Amanda corrected. “The Typewriter was going to sell me to the Hypno-Slaver after getting the ransom and all I could think of was I helpless because I'd let myself become this way. I hated myself for a long time but I'd taken gymnastics, dance, and self-defense training in the past. Enough that I was on the list of superhero candidates Sunlight was looking through after his first pick fell through.”