That didn't stop me from reading, though. “I offer unto you my entire being in exchange for my fondest wish come true. Bring your most unhallowed attention onto me, this unworthy mortal. I compel thee, amen!”
A crack of thunder echoed outside as I slowly floated downwards.
I shook my head, disbelieving the cheesiness of what just happened. “Seriously, Lancel, is this what passes for magic nowadays? I mean, it's not even in Latin. Pyrotechnics aside, there's no way this is going to work.”
“Gary, don't mock the evil ritual you don't understand.”
“Why? Will Zul-Barbas show up and kill me?”
“Yes.”
“Oh. Never mind then.”
Much to my surprise, I saw that the ballroom had vanished around me. Where once I was standing next to a dead dragon's corpse in the middle of a vast treasure room, I was now surrounded by nothing.
Lots and lots of nothing.
It wasn't even a black and empty void like Outer Space, since that would be something. It was surrounded by nothing. Nothing at all. You'd be surprised at how genuinely unsettling that is.
“Okay, I admit that's impressive,” I said, allowing the book in my arms to snap closed. “Magic is a lot cooler than I expected. I wonder if this is the place I'm going to get to see alien geometries and nameless cities where sleeping elder god-thingies dwell.”
“No. There is nothing here,” Cloak said. “We're in the Nothing Beyond, which lies beyond the Great Beyond.”
“What's beyond the Nothing Beyond?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“Nothing.”
“That was terrible, Cloak.” I rolled my eyes, impressed by the sheer awfulness of his joke.
“Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer,” Cloak said. “You should know that by now.”
“I should indeed.”
As much as I wisecracked, I felt empty. Completely empty. I didn't feel love, hate, pity, mercy, forgiveness, or warmth. Mandy's death was like someone had killed me too and I was only going through the motions of life. I was, in a word, going on autopilot. It was a good thing I could do this, too, because otherwise I'd crawl into a hole and start crying.
Which wouldn't do Mandy a damned bit of good.
The Book of Midnight managed to pull itself free from my grip, bouncing on the ground before starting to bark at me once more. It was clearly unsettled by its surrounding, jumping up and down as it circled around me.
“It's okay, girl,” I said, waving my hand at her gently. “We're just in a crazy place. After we finish this, I'll take you for a walk to the park and we'll play fetch while people scream at you. Does that sound good?”
“Yip-Yip!” The Book of Midnight called, plopping itself over as if it had rolled over on its stomach.
“Stay,” I pointed at the book.
It came to a halt and sat itself upright.
“Good girl.” I looked around the endless nothingness. “Okay, where is Zul-Barbas? I'm expecting some tentacle-y goodness here. I hope he’s at least a hundred-feet-tall with a squid head and batwings.”
“Ahem.” Something cleared their throat behind me.
“Gah!” I said, jumping up and spinning around.
Behind me, dressed in my dark black cloak and turban-like mask, was me. The outfit hid most of my features but my build was still visible. My eyes were also visible, the only difference being they were utterly without emotion. Say what you will about me, but I've never been cold and unfeeling.
“You, sir, are a very handsome man,” I said, pointing at my doppelganger. It was amazing how much humor I could do without finding anything funny at all. “Zul-Barbas, I presume?”
“In the flesh,” the figure spoke, his voice a dry shadow of my own. “So to speak.”
“Yip! Yip!” The Book of Midnight shouted, hiding behind my legs. Apparently, there was no love lost between the book and its master.
“I confess a little disappointment,” I said, cocking my head from side to side, trying to see if there were any differences between us. “I was expecting someone a bit taller.”
“The spell conjures me as the single most terrifying thing you can think of. You have either a very high opinion of yourself or a very low one,” Zul-Barbas said, his voice completely lacking in any mirth.
“Thank you,” I said, knowing I was the person who’d gotten his wife killed. That made me the worst monster in the world. “I was hoping for something a little more Lovecraftian, though.”
“Everyone is,” Zul-Barbas said, not having blinked since his arrival. “Would you like to see my true form? With all of its multiple dimensions and angles no human mind can comprehend? The form which can drive a man utterly mad?”
“Yeah, kinda.”
“Wait, Gary, no!”
What followed was my doppelganger becoming a thing involving hundreds of mouths, tentacles, eyes, and orifices. I really didn't like looking at the orifices. I'll spare you the ‘things no words can describe’ and instead go with 'butt ugly.' It was also ridiculously large, easily the size of a skyscraper.
“Now that's more like it!” I said, giving two thumbs up. “Now let’s get with the wife raising.”
In an instant, Zul-Barbas was once more in my form. It continued talking in its dull accountant-like tone. “I'm surprised by your reaction. In the 1930s, this sent people running of screaming to mental institutions.”
“I guess people are a bit more jaded nowadays,” I said, shrugging. “You know why I'm here.”
“You want to sell your soul,” Zul-Barbas replied, pressing its palms together and gazing at me intently. I was a bit creeped out, especially since my doppelganger had no concept of personal space. “I confess, I'm a little surprised. Death is going to be pissed beyond measure. She chose you out of all the beings in the world to be her champion and you're going to throw it all away for your mate.”
“Pretty much.”
“How peculiar,” Zul-Barbas responded, smiling. It was a complete parody of a smile, lacking anything resembling emotion. “I'm willing to make a deal. Your wife will be... restored.”
“You made a suspicious pause there,” I said, closing one eye and looking at him intently.
“What?” Zul-Barbas replied, sounding surprised.
“A suspicious pause, like you're going to be fulfilling the letter of the agreement rather than the spirit.”
Zul-Barbas’ right eye twitched. “I don't catch your meaning.”
“Like, I'll sell my soul to you in order to get Mandy resurrected only you bring her back as a zombie or something.” I didn’t like where this conversation was going. “It happens all the time in movies. The genie or whatever twists the intent and we're all supposed to think the human is foolish for making the wish in the first place when the real lesson is the wish-granter is a douchebag.”
“I see,” Zul-Barbas said. “She won't be... a zombie.”
“See, there, you did it again!” I shouted, appalled.
“No I didn't,” Zul-Barbas said, wrinkling his brow.
“God dammit!” I kicked the endless blackness around me. “You're going to screw me!”
Zul-Barbas assumed its true form and made threatening gestures more terrifying than anything I'd ever seen. They were the sort of thing which could drive a man to rip out his eye sockets. There were a few things involving a suggestive wiggling of tentacles which aren't fit for publication.
“Do not mock the God Who Lies Between!” A chorus of voices filled my mind, each sounding like a screaming banshee. My entire body was shaking, my hands most of all. I wanted to find a corner to hide in but there was nowhere to go in this place.
“That would have worked if not for the fact it's my wife on the line,” I said, taking a deep breath and struggling to calm myself. “Now are you going to make a deal or not?”
The Book of Midnight popped back out from behind me and began yipping wildly, growling at the skyscraper-sized thing threatening me. I had to admire the little books tenacity. I
t was a brave little tome of evil.
“Good girl,” I said, leaning down to stroke the back of her spine. “I'm going to totally get you a treat when this is all over.”
“Yip-Yip!”
The gigantic monstrous horror was silent, its withering tentacles slithering back and forth as if deep in thought. Slowly, but surely, the monstrous thing began to shrink. After several seconds it was once more my size and twisted itself until it was humanoid in shape. From there, it covered itself in a fleshy-mask which once more resembled me.
“God, that's gross,” I said, repulsed. “You couldn't have come up with something a little less hideous?”
“No.” Zul-Barbas’ voice was as dry as dust. “There will be consequences for your wife's resurrection. I can breathe life back into her but those who pass through the veil of true death are not brought back untouched. I will not be the one who inflicts the consequences upon her, however. Of that, you can be assured.”
“I confess, I would have preferred something a little more concrete,” I said, creeped out by the Great Beast's behavior. “You're not reassuring me I'm getting my money's worth here.”
“Soon, your planet and all of its peoples will be destroyed. Everyone you've ever known will die in a flood of chaos, reducing them to nothingness as I devour their souls,” Zul-Barbas said without a trace of pride or malice. “I am not sure you will be capable of getting your 'money's worth' in this deal.”
“You should work on your sales pitch, Zul.” I wrinkled my nose. “That was terrible.”
“I desire souls,” Zul-Barbas said, not even breathing I realized. “They are the one currency of the Great Beyond that has value. Therefore, it is in my best interest to provide what a subject desires in order to avoid accusations of cheating them. I was not attempting to do so earlier. I was merely confused.”
“Sure you were.” I was annoyed the Great Beast was backpedaling. “I've heard that before.”
“I've looked into your soul, Gary Karkofsky. You are a person who only cares about a very small circle of friends and loved ones. What happened to you in your childhood burned your ability to empathize with any but a small group of trusted souls. Your wife, by contrast, is the one who would sacrifice herself for the world. Indeed, she was willing to sacrifice herself for a person who might as well have been a complete stranger,” Zul-Barbas explained. He wasn't being insulting, merely factual.
“Yeah,” I said, remembering Cindy’s description of how she'd died. “She's crazy like that.”
Wonderful too.
“You realize she will attempt to stop me after your soul is taken. You will have wasted your eternal existence, cost you your only chance of destroying me, and ruined the pitiful few remaining minutes of your resurrected wife's life by costing her husband—all for nothing. She will die with the rest of humanity. That’s even assuming I can bind her soul to her resurrected form, which is a big if.”
“Again, your sales pitch sucks. You would do terrible in politics.” I'd thought about all of his statements and didn't care. I couldn't leave Mandy dead, not for a moment longer than I absolutely had to.
I wanted her to live forever.
“If I may offer an alternative suggestion,” Zul-Barbas said, still talking as if he was teaching math class. “You should not sell your soul to me. Instead, I suggest you assist the Brotherhood of Infamy in completing my summoning. The world will be destroyed, yes, but you will be able to shape it to your wishes. You can recreate your wife and all of your lost loved ones. It will be as though she never died.”
“I don't get why you're destroying the world if the Brotherhood of Infamy can just remake it. It seems counter-intuitive for an ancient godlike evil out to eradicate everything.”
“I devour souls,” Zul-Barbas explained, as if I was saying something terribly stupid. It was the first real emotion I'd heard in his voice. “If I destroy all of creation, I won't have any place to eat in the future.”
I mentally processed that. “So, whatever I recreated wouldn't be Mandy? It would walk like her, talk like her, and look like her but it wouldn't be her.”
“Only by some definitions,” Zul-Barbas said, his voice once again dry as dirt. “Many humans don't even believe in the soul.”
“Yeah, but I do.” I was horrified by what he was suggesting. Zul-Barbas devouring the world's souls was infinitely worse than him just killing everybody.
“So you will not agree to this?”
“I don't want a clone of Mandy to live. I want her.”
“Even if she will die again in a few hours and have her soul devoured for all eternity?” Zul-Barbas asked, gazing at me with crossed eyes.
“Yeah,” I said, sighing. “I've got faith in the Society of Superheroes. They'll stop you, Mandy will live, she'll go on to marry some other guy or girl and everything will be roses and cupcakes. You know, except for me. I'll be in your stomach or wherever you store the souls you eat.”
“Zul-Barbas keeps the souls he devours in a dimension of darkness and terror,” Cloak said. “A place of horror and nightmare where your worst fears live on forever.”
“Wisconsin?”
“That doesn't even make any sense.”
“Clearly, you’ve never been to Wisconsin. My cousin’s farm? Horror beyond imagination.”
“The Society will cease to exist when I enter this world,” Zul-Barbas laughed. “They will be actors, has-beens, and comic book artists. Nothing more than dreams in the imagination of children and fools.”
I wasn't sure what bothered me more. That there was a half-way decent plan for destroying the world or that there were enough morons in the world to carry it out. If I'd had any faith in mankind left to lose, I would have lost it then and there.
“Mandy will stop you,” I said. “She and Gabrielle have more good in her than all of the world’s heroes combined. Before you rewrite reality.”
I was surprised to realize I believed that.
Zul-Barbas chuckled. “They’ll have to work quickly. The world will end in forty-five minutes and fifty-three seconds.”
I took that in. “Shit.”
“Fifty-two seconds.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Where I Scam Zul-Barbas
“You can't destroy the world,” I said, biting my lip. “For reasons I have yet to figure out.”
Zul-Barbas gave me a sidelong glance.
“For example, I’m using it. I intend to rule it and it’s not your place to destroy my property. Seriously, though, people will stop you. Heroes. Heroes who are willing to sacrifice their lives. People who aren’t me.”
“It will work because those who sacrifice themselves are fools,” Zul-Barbas said, stretching out a hand and clenching his fist as if to crush something. “I feel compelled to tell you all this because I am assuming your form. Which means, of course, you believe those who sacrifice themselves are foolish. Ironic.”
“It's not so much ironic as sad. Like the Alanis Moirsette song. Most of those things weren’t really ironic and—”
“Are you quite finished?” Zul-Barbas interrupted, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, I think so,” I muttered, looking away. I was more embarrassed than anything else.
Zul-Barbas stretched up its right hand and snapped its fingers. “There. It is done.”
A part of me worried that, in the midst of our conversation, everything had been destroyed. “You... killed everyone? Killed everyone and ate their souls?”
“No,” Zul-Barbas said, its expression remaining utterly lacking in emotion. “That is for later. I have restored your wife to life, or what passes for it. She will rise from her slumber within moments. Now, it is time for you to sacrifice your soul unto me. To become a meal for the one true master of the—”
I pulled out my scythe coin, rubbed it, and swung the resulting blade. The end of the scythe through sliced through the representation of Zul-Barbas. The scythe went through its side like a hot knife through butter, leaving a free-standing ho
le where his abdomen used to be. Strangely, his upper torso didn't fall over, it hung in the air where I'd slashed through him.
“You betrayed me,” my doppelganger cried out, shocked. He looked unable to comprehend what just happened.
“Nothing gets by you, does it?” I said.
Zul-Barbas's body exploded into a thousand pieces of free floating black shadow. The shadows caught fire in midair, burning into tiny little cinders before vanishing into nothingness. I was now alone, free from the curse of Zul-Barbas, in the vastness of the Nothing Beyond.
“Yip! Yip!” the Book of Midnight happily jumped around my feet, eventually nuzzling against the side of my leg.
“Gary, what have you done?!”
“Saving our ass,” I said. “I figured anyone who calls themselves a Great Beast, has magical books written in human skin, and takes the appearance of whatever terrifies a summoner is a royal douchebag. I figured I could manipulate him into trusting me and double-cross him at the last second.”
“You realize you haven't actually killed Zul-Barbas. You just killed your image of Zul-Barbas using his power.”
“Yeah,” I said, hoisting my scythe over one shoulder. “I don't get why it seemed to know a lot about what the actual Zul-Barbas is doing but I figure that's just one of the oddball facts of magic.”
“Wait, you killed your image of Zul-Barbas, which you were only able to kill because you thought you were smart enough to outsmart. But you were only able to outsmart him because you thought you were smart en....God, this is insane!”
“Oh yeah, I'm awesome,” I said, pleased with myself. “They should put a statue of me up in the Fraternity of Supervillains Hall of Fame.”
“If you're so smart, how are we supposed to get out of here?” Cloak said, sarcastically.
“What?”
“We're in the Nothing Beyond, another dimension. You can't move through other dimensions and you just killed the power source behind the book,” Cloak said. “I’m sorry, we’re stuck here.”
Looking around and seeing a whole lot of nothing, I processed that. “Son of a... okay, okay, I've got a plan.”
The Games of Supervillainy (The Supervillainy Saga Book 2) Page 21