by E. M. Leya
"Ready."
I let my wolf step forward, shifting with ease. Beside us, Cohen and Stephen both shifted, but Brett just kneeled there, shaking his head, and grimacing as if having a fight with his wolf internally.
I brushed up against Brett, hoping to draw his wolf out. When that got no response, I howled loudly, calling to my mate. Still, he didn't shift.
Brett sat back, his ass in the grass as he shook his head.
Cohen came over and jumped against his back, digging his claws lightly over his skin. Still no reaction. Then Stephen pounced on Cohen, knocking him aside. That started the two of them chasing each other around the yard, nipping and biting at each other playfully.
Brett just sat there, a light sweat covering his skin as he slightly rocked back and forth. Waves of sadness came from him, breaking my heart because I couldn't do anything to make things better. I couldn't force his wolf to come out if he didn't want to.
I curled up in Brett's lap, licking over his thigh.
"I'm sorry," Brett whispered.
I pressed closer, enjoying the warmth of his body as his fingers combed through my fur. I watched Cohen and Stephen play across the yard, and when Cohen paused and looked at me, I hesitated, but knew he was right. I needed to go run with them. If I stayed with Brett, his wolf wouldn't miss the companionship. He needed to want to join us. I huffed as I stood, licking over Brett's cheek before turning and taking off. I made sure we yelped and whined and made enough noise that Brett could hear us, hoping it would be enough to draw his wolf forward.
I forced myself to stay away from Brett for the most part. Every now and then I'd rub up against him before taking off across the yard again, but he made no signs of shifting. He just sat there, his head in his hands, silent as we played around him.
After a half an hour, I couldn't do it anymore. I shifted back and went to him, drawing him into my arms. "I love you."
"I let you down." He leaned against me.
"You haven't."
"I can feel it in our link."
"You didn't let me down. I'm just sad that your wolf won't come be with me. I miss him. I'm not upset with you at all. I love you. We'll find a way to get through this." I kissed him softly.
"I love you." He clung tightly to me.
Cohen and Stephen shifted, coming over beside us. I glanced up, seeing the concern in Cohen's eyes. I didn't like that. Cohen was someone I trusted. If he was concerned, then I should be too. "Thanks for trying." I gave him a weak smile.
"We'll keep trying. If you haven't shifted by then, there is a pack hunt this coming weekend. Join us. Maybe being around a bunch of wolves will help." Cohen put a hand on Brett's shoulder. "Don't give up. Keep trying. Do whatever you think will help draw your wolf out. Don't be too hard on yourself. You've been through a lot. We'll figure this out."
Brett nodded. "Thank you for trying. It was nice to meet you, Stephen."
Stephen smiled. "I'll see you soon. If you need to get away, give me a call."
I loved my pack members. No matter what, they were always there for each other. "Thanks, guys." I stood and hugged them both.
I stayed in the backyard as Cohen and Stephen dressed and left. Once alone, I cupped Brett's face in my hands. "I wish you weren't so upset."
"How can I not be? What if I can never shift again?" He pulled away, turning his back to me.
I went up behind him, wrapping my arms around his body, pressing my face to his back, rubbing my beard over his skin. "You'll shift again. We just have to give him time to adjust."
"But what if he doesn't ever want to come out again? Where does that leave me?"
"Right here with me. I love you, wolf or no wolf. But that isn't going to happen. I can't see him content to hide the rest of your life. There is too much to do. He just needs time to get used to the blindness. We're still waiting on a donor, and your wolf knows that. He knows there is a chance you will see again. Let's just see what happens." I took his hand. "Let's go clean up and head to bed." I kissed his shoulder.
"Yeah." He released my hand as he bent over and picked up both our clothes. I watched helplessly as he headed inside. I rushed to help him find his way. I had no idea how to make everything okay, and that was destroying me.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
BRETT
I waited as my parents pulled their trailer into the parking lot of the pack house. I was excited to have them here, but also nervous because it was the first time since I'd been attacked and blinded. I didn't want to deal with my mom's emotions right now. I had enough of my own going on.
It had been a little over a week since I'd found I couldn't shift, and nothing we tried seemed to help. I'd starved myself for nearly three days, hoping it would tempt him forward, and still, he just laid there, dormant in my mind.
Even when the pack had gone out hunting together, he refused to even stir in my mind. He didn't want out, and nothing I did was going to force him out.
Bayne stood beside me, holding my hand as my parents parked. I tried not to worry about him, but his wolf missed mine, and in time, this was going to become an issue for us. Nothing could ever break us up, we were mated, but it would make things hard when he wanted to live the life of a shifter and I was suddenly forced into a fully human life.
"They're here?" Kurt stepped out front to stand beside us, his mate Josh by his side.
"They are." I smiled as I waited for them to come to me. I didn't want Bayne leading me around to be the first thing they saw, but knew seeing the patches over my eyes would still be hard enough on them.
"They're headed for us," Bayne whispered to me.
I hated I couldn't see them. I never would have thought when I left them to come visit Bridger that it could be the last time I'd ever see them. It wasn't something you thought about when you left each day, but I knew now not to take it for granted.
"Brett." My mom's voice shook as she stood before me. "I've missed you." Her hands came to my shoulders and I stepped into her hug, wrapping my arms around her tightly, inhaling her scent.
"Mom, I've missed you too." I kissed her cheek. "Dad?"
"Right here." He was suddenly pulling me away from mom and into another tight hug. "How are you?"
I nodded. "Good. I'm good." I wasn't about to tell them about my wolf. That could come later. Seeing me blind was enough of a shock for them. "Mom, Dad, I want you to meet my mate, Bayne." I reached beside me to wrap my arm around Bayne's waist.
"Mr. and Mrs. Fullson, it's a pleasure to meet you," Bayne said.
"Please, either call us Mom and Dad or Janice and Phil. We are so happy to meet you. I never dared dream that I would be able to meet one of my children's mates. I hoped, but didn't think it would happen. We couldn't be happier to welcome you into our family, Bayne." My mom sounded genuinely happy.
"Nice to meet you," my dad said.
"And this is my new alpha." I turned toward where I could smell Kurt standing.
"Hi, welcome. My name is Kurt."
"Nice to meet you as well." My father had moved closer to Kurt. "This is quite a place you have here."
"Come on in and see the place. I'm sure you're thirsty and hungry after the long trip. Corta will have food ready and you'll be able to visit and catch up with your son," Kurt invited them.
I had to rely on Bayne to let me know what was going on. I could smell everyone moving, but couldn't see. I held onto his waist and let him lead me inside, thankful that Kurt had taken the lead and was showing off the pack house to my parents.
"This place is amazing." My father sounded surprised. "You say this is open to all the pack?"
"Twenty-four hours a day. There is always someone around. I live here with my mate, and a few others stay here, but most come and go. This was all my father's idea. He wanted to be sure no wolf was ever left alone. He said he would build a place where any wolf could find a good meal and a comfortable bed. It's grown since then, but the concept was his idea. We have almost anything you could need on site."
"It's very impressive," my mom said.
"Thank you. This is Corta, she runs… Well, just about everything. If you have a need, she's the one to talk to. Corta, this is Janice and Phil, Brett's parents." Kurt sounded like he was pulling chairs out for people to sit.
As Corta talked to my parents, Bayne got us seated at the table. I leaned into him, thankful that he was by my side. There would have been no way I could have managed to even get my parents inside on my own. It was frustrating to be so dependent on someone else.
"You hungry, Brett?" Corta asked.
"No thanks." I smiled her direction.
"Bayne?" she asked him.
"No, thanks though. We had a large lunch." He turned so that he was facing me, and I could lean into his arms better.
"Brett, how are you?" My mom reached over and touched my arm. "Other than your blindness, you've recovered?"
I nodded. "I have. I've been trying to adjust to not being able to see, but other than that, I'm good. I'm happy, Mom. This pack is amazing, and I don't have to tell you how happy I am with my mate." I sent a wave of love through my link with Bayne. "Now, having you guys here, it's perfect."
"Well, I have to admit I didn't know what to expect. I'd spent my life with the Bear River Pack, but this, if this is how the wolves here are treated, I've been with the wrong pack. We look forward to joining you." The happiness in my mom's voice made me glad they'd come.
"Did Pete give you any problems leaving?" Kurt asked.
"We didn't tell him. He called when we were halfway here, but we didn't answer. I'm sure he's furious by now, but we'll break ties as soon as we can and join with you. He'll no longer have any control over us." The relief in my dad's voice was evident.
"And Cathy?"
"We have all of her things with us. When she's done with her current job, she'll be coming here also," my mom told us.
"She's more than welcome. I know Brett and Bayne have several houses for you to look at, but you're more than welcome to make yourselves at home here until you find one you like. No rush to decide," Kurt let them know.
"Thank you. Hopefully, it won't be for long. We aren't too picky. Just so it's close to the town and I guess here. I can see Phil spending a lot of time here. I noticed him eyeing your pool tables," Mom laughed.
I grinned. "I'll warn you all now, my father is a great pool player. Don't let him fool you, and don't bet against him."
"Warning taken." Bayne tightened his arm around me until his phone rang, and he pulled away to answer it.
I focused back on my parents. "We figured you'd want to rest tonight, but tomorrow, Bayne and I thought we could show you around town and look at a couple of the houses."
"That's perfect. Tonight, I just want a hot shower and maybe a cold beer," my father said from across the table.
"We have both. The bar you saw when you walked in is fully stocked and free of charge. Help yourself," Kurt told him. "As for a shower, Brett and Bayne can show you to your room as soon as you're done eating. You're welcome here as long as you like. There's plenty of space. I don't want you to feel rushed to leave."
I smiled, so glad that Kurt was nothing like Pete.
Bayne suddenly gripped my arm. "Brett?"
I felt his nervousness along with hearing it in his voice. "What's wrong?"
He took a deep breath. "That was Cohen. He has a donor. They want to do the surgery tonight."
My breath caught, and I swallowed hard.
"That's fantastic," Kurt said.
"A donor? Surgery?" My mom's voice held a nervous shake.
"Um, yeah." I ran my fingers through my hair. I hadn't even brought the idea of a donor up with my family. I didn't want to have them be let down if it didn't work, but now that they were here, I couldn't hide it from them. "One of the doctors I'm seeing thinks he can replace my eyes with donor eyes. Being a wolf, my body should adapt to them without a problem. It's not a guarantee, but it's a chance I have to take." I turned back to Bayne. "Tonight? Like now?"
"Cohen is on his way with the eyes and Dr. Gordon is coming also." Bayne cupped my face. "You still want this?"
I nodded, unable to speak. I was excited, nervous, scared to death. I'd never had surgery before. It wasn't like this was some life and death event, but it was my sight. This was it. I would either see or not. My chest tightened. "What if it doesn't work?"
"It will." Bayne's voice held so much hope that I feared what would happen if the surgery failed.
A thought hit me hard, taking away even more of my hope. I lowered my voice. "Bayne, what if I can't shift?"
"You have to. Your wolf has to want this as much as we do." Bayne now sounded worried.
"He hasn't responded to me in a week. I just don't know." I focused on my wolf, able to feel him there, but not responding to my gentle push. "Will it work if I can't?"
"I don't know. Healing might take longer, but it should work, I'd think." Bayne leaned his forehead against mine.
"You're doing this tonight?" my mother asked.
"It looks that way." I pulled away from Bayne to focus on my family, even though all I wanted was for him to hold me and help take away my fear.
"Here?" my father asked.
"I promise we have the medical facilities for such a surgery and our doctor is a wonderful surgeon. He'll be assisting Dr. Gordon, who is a successful ophthalmologist. Brett will have the best care," Kurt promised them.
"You weren't going to tell us?" My mom sounded hurt.
"I didn't want you to be let down if it didn't work. It might not. You have to be ready for that. If it doesn't, I'm blind. There are no other options." I wanted them to be prepared for anything.
"But it's a chance, right?" My mother sounded so hopeful. "I'm glad we are here for this."
"Why don't you finish eating and I'll show you to your room so you can freshen up. I'm sure Bayne and Brett want to go get a room set up for them to use tonight while he's recovering," Kurt said.
"I can take care of Janice and Phil," Corta said from beside me. "Brett, I hope this works. I'm here if you need anything." She kissed my cheek.
"Thanks, Corta, and thanks for seeing to my parents. I know this is all unplanned." I tried to smile.
"Think nothing of it. Now you and your mate go get ready. I'll make sure your parents are comfortable and know what is going on," Corta said.
Bayne stood, taking my arm.
I stood with him. "Mom, Dad, I'll talk to you before the surgery, I promise. I'm sorry to toss this at you the moment you get into town. I promise once it's over I'll spend as much time as you want with you."
"Baby." My mom was suddenly at my side. "You go do what you need to do. We'll be fine. Don't even worry about us." She kissed my cheek. "I love you, and I'm so glad we are here for you right now." She hugged me tightly before stepping back.
"We'll be waiting for you, Son." My father gripped my shoulder.
"Thanks." I took a deep breath as I let Bayne lead me out of the kitchen to one of the bedrooms.
Once Bayne shut the door, I stopped trying to be brave. "What am I going to do? I don't think he'll shift. He hasn't even tried in the last week and look at the ways we've tried to tempt him."
Bayne pulled me into his arms. "He has to know this is for your sight. I refuse to believe he wants you to remain blind if there is a chance you can get your sight back."
"But what if?" I pulled away, moving across the room to find the bed. "Bayne, this is my one chance."
"And we are going to take it. I swear I'll find a way to make you shift. I don't know how, but I'll beg, plead, and threaten your wolf if I have to." Bayne sat down beside me. "Brett, you have to stay calm. Get too worked up and Cohen might not let you do the surgery. Cohen knows about your wolf. We'll figure it out. You can't worry about it. Let us do that. You focus on staying calm and doing what they need you to do."
"Which is shift." I couldn't stop worrying about it.
"Hey, we don't know. This could work witho
ut shifting. All shifting does is heal you faster. The doctor still has to connect everything the same way. If you have to heal like a human, then that's what we'll do." Bayne sent wave after wave of love to me through our link, almost as if he was trying to smother me in it so I wouldn't panic.
"What if it doesn't work?" I couldn't stand the thought of living this way forever. In the last few weeks it had been so hard to do anything on my own. I was dependent on Bayne for almost everything. I knew blind people learned to adapt, but what if I wasn't able to? It was so fucking hard.
"We will do whatever we have to. Together we will get through this. I love you whether you can see or not. It changes nothing. You're strong, Brett. You can face whatever happens. If the surgery doesn't work, then we make new plans, find new ways. You don't have to go through this alone. I'm here, your parents are here, the whole pack is here and will support you." Bayne grabbed both of my hands. "We have to meet Cohen at the medical room. Do you need to use the bathroom and stuff before surgery?"
I nodded. "I better." I leaned in and kissed him. "I love you. No matter what, I love you more than anything else in this world. Please know that."
"I know it. I feel it. Nothing is going to happen." He brushed his hand down my cheek. "Go get ready." He kissed me softly then stood.
I got up and made my way to the bathroom and got myself as ready as I could. Nothing would calm the nervousness in my stomach. I'd know sometime today if I would be living my life blind or not. This was it. My one chance.
Leaning on the bathroom sink, I looked up as if I was going to look in the mirror. Today where only darkness was in front of me, I hoped that tomorrow I'd see my face.
"You okay?" Bayne knocked on the door.
I reached over, finding the knob, and opened it. "Yeah, just needed a minute." I moved toward him, glad when he wrapped his arms around me.
We stood there in silence for several minutes. I focused on the feel of his hands on my back, the scratch of his beard against my cheek, the scent of him surrounding me. I could do this. No matter the outcome, I would manage. Bayne was with me, and because my mate stood by my side, I could do anything.