by T. K. Chapin
Jill looked at Christina and smiled again. “Okay. I met someone.”
“Shut up!” Christina said, smacking Jill’s shoulder. “You did not!”
Jill rubbed her shoulder. “Ouch, you jerk,” she replied, laughing. “Yes, I did!”
“Awe!!!” Christina said, beaming. Leaning across the glass counter, she asked, “So who is he?”
“Jake. We met when he lost his dog the other day—it had wandered into my yard.”
Christina dropped an eyebrow as she must have detected something in Jill’s voice. She placed a hand on Jill’s again and said, “It’s been two years. It’s okay to feel something for someone. I can tell you’re interested in this guy.”
Jill pulled her hand back and started putting the tray of fingernail polish back into the case. “I know, I know . . . but it’s a battle inside this mind of mine.”
“I’m sure it is, girl. But when love happens, you don’t want to miss out on it. Give it a chance.” Christina’s purse began to vibrate on the counter. She pulled her cellphone out and looked at it. “That’s probably the shop about my car. I don’t recognize the number, but I’ll talk to you later. Okay?”
“See ya,” Jill replied.
Christina turned and began to leave, but she stopped and looked back at Jill. “Hey, Jill.”
“Yeah?” Jill asked, looking over at her.
“You deserve to be happy. Don’t ever forget that.” Christina turned and left Franklin’s.
As Jill watched her leave, she let the words sink into her. Deserving to be happy sounded and even felt right to Jill. The only problem with that fact was there was no convincing the part of her that couldn’t stop remembering Bradley long enough to believe it.
CHAPTER 3
Later that evening, Jill returned home and tossed a pre-cooked chicken breast into the microwave. She hoped to at least relax a little before Jake called. A nice chicken salad, a glass of wine and a relaxing evening were on the agenda.
After setting the microwave to heat her chicken, she took her glass of wine and went into the living room. Sitting down on the couch, she turned on the television.
With her wine in one hand and the remote in the other, she began to flip through the channels. Almost in a zombie-like state, she went from channel to channel in the hopes of finding something to watch.
Her phone rang, startling her. She jumped enough at the sound of the phone to spill her wine. “Ugh!” she shouted. Glancing at the caller ID, she saw that it was Jake and she smiled, not caring about the wine that had spilled. “Hello?” she answered.
“Hey,” Jake replied in his deep, smooth voice that set her nerves at ease. Even on the phone he had an effect on her.
The microwave dinged in the kitchen.
“What was that?” Jake asked as she stood up from the couch and headed into the kitchen.
“That was dinner,” she replied, smiling and flushing as she opened the door of the microwave.
“Oh, that’s good.”
“What, why?” she asked, confused by the statement.
Jake laughed. “You haven’t eaten yet. That’s good, because I want to take you out to dinner.”
Out? To dinner? Things were suddenly picking up speed with Jake and her mind started to push her thoughts to Bradley. What would he think of you dating? Then, she remembered what Christina had told her. You deserve to be happy. Before she let another thought pass through her mind, she said, “I’d love that.”
Jake let out a relieved sigh and said, “Great. I’ll pick you up in half an hour–at eight?”
“Great. I’m going to get ready!” Jill replied with a smile on her face and a bounce in her step as she tossed the chicken from the microwave into the garbage. “See you soon!”
Jill couldn’t stop her smile as she hung up with Jake. The guilt about Bradley had seemed to take a backseat for a moment, and she wasn’t about to sit around and ask why that was. Hurrying through her house, she went into her bedroom and began pulling out clothes she hadn’t worn in years. Then she came to the dress—a black cocktail dress she had worn to Bradley’s company party years ago. It looked perfect for the occasion that night, but she was a little hesitant as she held it up and looked into the full-sized mirror next to her closet.
It’s just clothing, right? She looked at herself in the mirror as she pictured wearing the dress.
I’m doing it. She slipped the cocktail dress off the hanger and stepped into it. Glancing back into the mirror again, she smiled. As she looked herself over, the picture of Bradley on her nightstand caught her eye in the mirror’s reflection. Seeing it instantly killed the smile on her face and she began to tear up. I can’t do this . . .
Stepping away from the mirror, she went over to her bed and sat down. She bowed her head and prayed, asking God to help her with the emotions she had. After praying, she picked up her cellphone and called her best friend.
“Hello?” Christina answered.
“Hey,” Jill replied.
“What’s wrong? You sound upset.”
“Jake wants to go out tonight . . . and I was all super into it and then—”
“Jill,” Christina said, interrupting.
“Yeah?”
“Brad loved you with all his heart.”
“I know that.”
“Then, you should also know he wouldn’t want you to be sad forever, girl. He wouldn’t want that for you.”
Jill wiped her tears from her cheeks. “You’re right, it’s just hard sometimes, and I’m wearing a dress we wore together to a company party. So many memories, Christina.”
“Well, if we can’t have dresses with memories attached, I’d better throw out my entire wardrobe! You can’t think that way. It’s not healthy. Seriously, though. Go finish getting ready, have a great night, and call me tomorrow with all the details! Don’t let your mind give you any more excuses as to why you can’t be happy.”
“Thanks. You’re a good friend,” Jill replied, standing up. She hung up with Christina and headed into the bathroom to finish getting ready.
**
The doorbell rang as Jill finished curling her hair. She set down the curling iron and unplugged it. Looking into the mirror, she smiled. This was it. She was finally going to move on and entertain the idea of possibly finding love again after losing the love of her life. She didn’t know what to expect from the evening, but she knew this first date was a step in the right direction for her life. The night wasn’t about Jake in its entirety; it was about Jill having the courage to face the dating world again. She didn’t know if Jake and she would work out, but she knew the way he made her feel gave her the courage to try.
Flipping the light switch off in the bathroom, Jill grabbed her little black purse from the counter and headed through the house to the front door.
Looking stunning from head-to-toe, she opened the door. She expected Jake, but instead it was Bradley’s mother. “Susan?”
Susan stood silent for a moment. Her eyes grew wide and her eyebrows went up. “Wow. This was a mistake,” she said with a harsh and regretful tone. Turning around, Susan made a beeline down the path toward her van.
“Wait, Susan!” Jill said, stepping outside and shutting the door behind her. She hurried down the path to try to catch Susan, but she had already climbed into her van.
Susan rolled her window down and looked Jill over from head-to-toe. She scoffed in disgust. “Obviously you’re doing fine, missy! I won’t make the mistake of coming here for support again!”
Jill’s eyes began to water and she shook her head. “Fine? Are you kidding me?” Her lips pursed as grief washed over her. Jill’s words strained as she continued. “I’m not fine, Susan. Every single day is a struggle! I had to learn how to live with a giant hole in my life, and even two years later, I’m still struggling!”
“Huh, sure looks like you’re struggling.” Susan shook her head and put her van into drive. Before pulling away, she said, “I hate the fact that he turned the steer
ing wheel enough so he’d be the one killed, Jill.” Susan’s eyebrows furrowed as she continued, “It should have been you.” Susan put her foot on the gas and peeled off the patch of ice she was parked on.
Tears streamed down Jill’s cheeks as she watched the taillights of Susan’s van vanish around the street corner. Jill’s heart broke from Susan’s words. What did I do to deserve this? Jill prayed as she walked back to her porch with her head hung low. She sat down on the steps in front of her house as she continued to pray for God’s comfort to come to her.
Not more than a few minutes later, Jake showed up in his Pinto. Jill worried what a wreck she was and pulled out her travel-sized mirror from her purse. Fixing her mascara, she tried to force a smile as he came up the path to her front steps. Slipping the mirror back into her purse, she stood up.
“You okay?” Jake asked.
“I’m fine.”
“Your eyes are bloodshot and swollen . . . you don’t seem fine, Jill.”
She sighed heavily and sat back down on the steps. He joined her side. Jill looked over at him and said, “I don’t want to talk about it. Not right now, at least.”
“Okay,” he replied, respecting her request.
“Just need to breathe for a minute.”
Jake took his coat off and wrapped it around her shoulders. They sat and shared the silence for twenty or so minutes until it began snowing.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he asked, breaking the silence.
Jill lifted her eyes and looked into the night. There wasn’t anything out there but Jake’s beat-up Pinto in the driveway and a street light. She shook her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He scooted closer to her on the step and put his arm around her. She felt sad over what had happened with Susan, but Jake’s warmth and touch made her feel somewhat better. Then Jake’s other hand found hers. A smile broke through on Jill’s face as he lifted her hand up and pointed out with his finger into the falling snow.
Jill ducked her head and squinted in the attempts to see what he was trying to show her. “The street light?” she asked with a perplexed look over at Jake.
He nodded.
“What about it?”
“See the snow falling through the light?” he asked.
“Yeah . . . ”
“That’s what I was talking about. It’s beautiful.”
“You’re kind of corny, aren’t you?” Jill asked, trying to hold back a laugh. “It’s just snow.”
Jake smiled. “Maybe it’s just snow to you. But to me, each snowflake and its complexity of design are illustrations of God’s handiwork. I find that a lot with nature. We live in a beautifully designed world, but we can’t fully appreciate it unless we have the right perspective.”
She smiled as she was comforted by his apparent deep thinking of God. She nodded as she watched the snowflakes fall in the light. “It’s true, and it’s a beautiful way to look at it.”
He smiled at her. “So did you still want to go out tonight?”
“I really don’t—” she began, and her head dipped to her chest.
“It’s okay, Jill. I understand.” Jake adjusted his footing on the step and began to rub his hands together to catch a little warmth.
“Yeah, it’s getting chilly out here. I’d better get inside,” Jill said, standing up with her little black purse in hand.
“Okay. You looking absolutely breathtaking, by the way,” Jake said.
She smiled. “You’re sweet.” Taking off his jacket, she handed it back to him and started back up the porch to go inside.
As she turned around to shut the door, she glanced at Jake on the path out to his car. He stopped and looked back at her. They both smiled at each other, and then Jill shut the door.
CHAPTER 4
Two weeks came and went without a word from Jake. Jill didn’t go out of her way to contact him; she assumed he wasn’t interested in her anymore. Between ignoring his phone call and then cancelling on him after he already showed up, it wasn’t hard for her to connect the dots.
It was now Thanksgiving Day and Jill was at her parents’ house, which was only a few blocks away from her house in Suncrest.
The smell of the holiday filled the Parkers’ home as the turkey came out of the oven to be cut by Jill’s father, Adam. All seven of Jill’s siblings were there that day. Even her older brother, Joseph, was able to fly in from Chicago.
Jill sat at the kitchen table as she watched her father cut slabs of turkey and set them onto the serving tray. With a smile on her face and warmth in her heart, she felt appreciative to be able to be with family for Thanksgiving.
Suddenly, her mother, Julie, slammed a cupboard shut in a fury. Jill shot a look across the kitchen at her frustrated mother. “What’s wrong, Momma?”
“We don’t have cranberry sauce,” she replied with a heavy sigh.
Jill stood up and came over to her. Leaning one hand on the counter, Jill shook her head and asked, “That stuff nobody eats?”
“Your grandmother does, honey,” she replied.
Jill winced at the sound of her mother’s strained voice. She could hear the pain in her mother’s voice. There’s not much that is guaranteed in life, but this being Grandma Ruth’s last Thanksgiving was a certainty. She was deathly ill with cancer and the doctors gave her just months to live. That was back in September. “How has she been doing?” Jill asked, looking at her mother for a moment before turning her head to look into the living room, where her grandma was sitting in her wheelchair, cozied up next to the fireplace.
“Not good.” Julie stepped closer to Jill and put a hand on her arm. “But let’s not talk about that. Would you be a dear and go down to Tom’s Grocery and fetch us cranberry sauce? I can hardly believe I forgot to get it.”
“Of course,” Jill replied, forcing a smile. It was extremely cold that day, and going down to the store wasn’t what Jill wanted to do, but she wanted to help her mom. She looked over at her dad.
He saw her concern and said, “I’ll keep the turkey in the oven to keep the meat warm. We’ll wait.”
Jill smiled. “Thanks. I’ll grab my coat and go now.”
“Okay.” Julie pushed out a smile between her pursed lips and continued. “Thank you for being the only one of your siblings that will help me out! I truly appreciate your servant-like heart. I always have.” Julie turned back to the counter and began buttering the hot rolls that were out on the counter.
Leaving the kitchen, Jill made her way through the living room and over to the door. She wrapped her baby-blue scarf around her neck and then put on her white pea coat before heading out.
Up the road, about a mile away from her parents’ house, Jill arrived at the Suncrest boardwalk. Tom’s Grocery store, a movie rental place, and a little diner named Dee’s were all on the boardwalk. Wrapping her arms tightly around herself to keep warm, she lowered her head and darted across the snow-covered parking lot up to the boardwalk.
Once under the cover that protected the boardwalk from the snow, she raised her head and brushed the snow off her coat. Looking over through the window of Dee’s diner, she was surprised to see Jake sitting at one of the tables.
What’s he doing here on Thanksgiving? Jill began to debate on going in and asking if he would like to come to her parents’ house for a Thanksgiving Day meal. That was, until she saw a woman sit down at his table. She quickly retracted her idea and hurried away from the window. Forget that! I’m not inviting him! Looks like he has plenty of company!
Jill continued down the boardwalk in a bit of a fury as her thoughts swirled around in her head about Jake. C’mon, Jill! Get a hold of yourself. You two weren’t dating . . . plus, it is Thanksgiving. Probably a cousin or something like that! Don’t assume the worst.
Jill was able to rein in her emotions and bring them back under control. It was silly to assume the worse in Jake. She didn’t have a reason for it. While she was checking out in the line with her cranberry sauce, th
e cashier asked, “You having a good Thanksgiving?”
Jill smiled. “Yeah. It’s going pretty good. You?”
“I’m doing great.” She paused and pointed to a plate of what looked to be Thanksgiving food. “My hubby brought this down to me. He’s so sweet!”
Jill grinned. “What a great guy!”
Handing Jill the receipt, she replied, “He’s amazing . . . even after fifteen years of marriage.”
“I hope I find that kind of love,” Jill replied.
“You will,” she replied, touching Jill’s hand. “My grandmother always said there’s a lid for every pot!”
“Thanks,” Jill said, picking up her plastic sack from the end of the conveyer belt. “Happy Thanksgiving.”
“Happy Thanksgiving!”
Taking her sack, Jill walked down the boardwalk back toward Dee’s diner.
I should go see if he and that lady want to come join us. I know Mom and Dad wouldn’t mind the extra company.
Arriving back at the window, Jill peeked in to see that the table he had been sitting at was empty. They must have left. Turning to leave, Jill jumped a little when Jake was right there in front of her.
“Ah!” she shrieked.
“Sorry!” he apologized quickly as he gently touched Jill’s arm. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay,” Jill replied, flushed with embarrassment at her scream. “What are you doing out on Thanksgiving? Shouldn’t you be with your family?”
His lips pursed and he shook his head. “My Grandfather was the only family I had left . . . well, you know, outside the crazies that tried to jack his estate. My parents passed when I was younger.” He seemed hesitant to continue.
“That’s okay. You don’t have to explain.”
He smiled. “Thanks, Jill.” Suddenly, the woman he was with came out of the diner. Jake turned to introduce them to each other and said, “Jill, this is my friend, Rose.”
“Nice to meet you,” Jill said reluctantly as she extended a hand out to shake the woman’s.