Angst Box Set 1

by David Pedersen

  “That’s not why you want to find her,” Hector said. “Aren’t you married?”

  “Barely,” Dallow scoffed, stopping in his tracks. He faced Hector. “She moved out when I returned from Gressmore. I thought...I hoped she would come back.”

  “I’m sorry, Dallow,” Hector said, placing a hand on the man’s shoulders. “I didn’t know. Maybe there’s still a chance to fix things.”

  “With this?” Dallow tore off the kerchief.

  Hector could’ve looked away—Dallow might not even have known—but he owed his friend respect for the scars he’d earned in battle. Dragonbreath had splattered across Dallow’s face, searing a dark swath across his eyes like a raccoon mask. It had only happened weeks ago, but, surprisingly, the scars were almost completely gone. Dallow had been able to heal much. The eye sockets were now smooth skin that sank into empty holes. Far from grotesque, but still uncomfortable to look at, and his heart wrenched at the sight.

  “She is a vain, cold-hearted bitch,” Dallow spat. “And she would never tolerate this.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything?” Hector asked.

  “Because I didn’t need a reminder of this,” he said, pointing at his scars, “or that,” he pointed to his wife, far away from them. “I needed an escape. I needed one of Angst’s adventures. I needed to be a hero and forget about the disaster back home.”

  Dallow’s chest heaved as he fought back the pain he’d held in for weeks, and Hector drew him in for a hug, patting his back.

  “I can’t even cry now,” Dallow said, pulling back, wiping away nothing from his cheeks.

  Hector didn’t know what to say. This was far from his area of expertise, but he cared for his friend. “Now that Angst has made a connection with the sword, can’t he heal you?”

  “He tried,” Dallow said forlornly, tying the kerchief back on. “Healing is complicated, and Dulgirgraut and I have tried to teach him, but for all he can do, his healing is limited to flesh wounds. Maybe broken bones.”

  “But Rose?” he asked.

  “Maybe,” Dallow said with a sigh. “But even if she can’t, just to know she’s alive and safe. Just to save her...”

  Hector had never felt terribly close to Rose, and had always considered her one of many in Angst’s bucket of companions. Even worse, he’d already written her off. As a friend, he, of course, wanted her to be alive. As a soldier, he knew she was dead, or lost to magic he didn’t understand. But, there was no way he would tell Dallow this. In battle, hope was one of the most valuable assets.

  “Then let’s go save her,” Hector said encouragingly.

  Their odd-looking guide ran back down the road toward them and grabbed Hector and Dallow’s hands.

  “Books!” the creature thought to them.

  “Finally,” Dallow said as he followed.

  Hector held the creature’s hand with a firm grip to keep it from running too fast. It looked at him in annoyance then shuddered at Hector’s dark gaze. They walked around corners and down narrow pathways between buildings until they reached an odd-looking cave-like hole gouged into the ground. Hector pulled sharply, stopping their progress to investigate. He knelt at the entrance, barely two bodies wide and equally as tall. He fingered the sandy dirt at its base.

  “This is new,” he said gruffly.

  “What?” Dallow asked hurriedly. “I don’t smell books.”

  “There’s a fresh hole dug in the middle of the road. Big enough that it looks like a cave entrance,” Hector explained. “It doesn’t belong.”

  “No,” the creature thought to them. “No. Stay away. Stay far away. Come for books.”

  Hector looked at the surrounding area, taking mental notes of their position before letting the creature lead them forward. Minutes passed as it led them along a dizzying path of sidewalks, making him wonder if the city wasn’t better visited by the walkways far above. They stopped at two enormous doors that barred the entrance to a tall, impressive building. Stone columns rose all around them, and to the side of the doors hung a large, golden plaque with words etched in a language he didn’t understand. The creature pointed at the doors, beating on the handle of one several times.

  “Are we here?” Dallow asked excitedly. “Finally, a chance to be useful again.”

  “I think so,” Hector said. “And stop that, you’re always useful.”

  Both doors had handles that would’ve been impressive thousands of years ago—they seemed to be made for giants—but the brass fixtures were rough with corrosion, and Hector struggled with both of them to no avail.

  “If this is a trap, or if there are no books in here, I will leave you in meaty pieces before you finish your next breath,” he snapped at the little creature.

  It ran off, screaming frightfully in their heads.

  “What a creeper,” Hector said under his breath.

  “What is it?” Dallow asked.

  “I can’t get in,” he replied.

  “Let me try,” Dallow reached out, and with Hector’s help, placed his hands on the handles. “Hmm, they’re locked,” he said with a grin.

  Dallow’s eyes were glowing white, which always took Hector aback. There was a loud clunk as the handles released, and Dallow shoved the doors inward. A rush of musty air made Hector cough and cover his mouth with one arm. Dallow breathed in deeply, as if he’d just found the best kitchen on Ehrde.

  “Books,” he said hungrily.

  “Has to be,” Hector agreed with a wince.

  They walked into the pitch-black room, Hector guiding slowly. Dallow raised his staff and muttered something in a lost language. Bright light shone from the staff, illuminating the library. Rows and rows of shelves lined the room, and in the middle was a tall stack of books that would take a lifetime just to put away. It was a feast for the hungriest reader, enough to make even Hector gasp.

  “Right?” Dallow said, his entire face now glowing in excitement. “I can feel them.”

  “You’re going to love this place,” he said.

  He led his tall, thin friend to the pile in the center. Dallow sat, crossing his legs, and reached for a thick volume. His breath caught as he absorbed the book like a sponge. Hector picked one up and Dallow immediately slapped his hand as though he could see.

  “These are so delicate, they’ll turn to dust the minute you open them,” he said, carefully taking the book away. “This is Acratic, but a dialect I barely recognize and, oh...”

  “I’m going to go,” Hector said, inching away. “I want to look around. You’ll be okay?”

  Dallow merely nodded, absorbing books faster than Angst could drink flasks of sweet wine.

  “Should I come get you, or can you meet us back there in a couple hours?” Hector asked.

  “Come find me tomorrow,” Dallow said dismissively. “I won’t be done in two hours.”

  “But...” Hector said worriedly.

  “Hector, we lost everything in Gressmore Towers,” he said firmly. “I won’t let that happen again. Not for Rose, not for Ehrde. We need the full story of this place, like Angst requested.”

  Hector watched Dallow turn away, and knew he was lost to the world of knowledge. Hopefully, there was something within those pages that could help them, and Rose. He hurried out of the library and tried finding his way back to the hole. Something about it hadn’t felt right and set his hackles on edge. He turned a corner and rushed down the path only to find a dead end. With a grunt, he returned to the main road and sought another path. He was adept at finding his way around woods and open areas, but may as well as have been blind in a new city. He rushed to find another blocked road, and cursed in frustration. How could anyone possibly find their way around this place? There were no recognizable signs, no sun or stars to provide direction, no smells or sounds that—

  From around the corner, he heard a woman curse. He immediately recognized that voice.

  “Rose?” he called out.

  Hector ran at an all-out sprint, sliding around dusty corners
like they were covered in ice. It was farther than he’d thought, and he drew two longswords from his back. He skidded to a halt as he entered a square courtyard twenty feet across, surrounded by stone planters and benches. In the center stood a large, familiar monument. Across the way, Tarness approached with Faeoris. and at the same time said. “Oh no, not another one.”

  47

  “We need a way out,” Angst said to the creature, the thought placed firmly in his head.

  It started running away, but Angst held its bones, locking it to the ground. The little monster cried out, wailing in their heads. Victoria held her ears shut with her hands as if it that would block it out.

  “Angst,” she pleaded. “Please let it go.”

  So he did. It rubbed its knees, looking back at him with a bitter glare before sprinting off into the shadows.

  “That didn’t go well,” he said, wiggling his finger in his ear.

  “Yeah,” she agreed. “Now what?”

  “Not a clue,” he said with a deep breath. “Scar was my guide initially, but he’s not here. Can you see anything?”

  “So, now I’m your dog?” she said, and he couldn’t tell if she was offended or not.

  “You know what I meant,” he replied.

  “I don’t know, Angst,” she said with a sigh. “Sometimes it works. Sometimes I can see. But down here, in this place, all I get are distant echoes. And that’s only when your sword doesn’t shut me out completely.”

  He held out a hand and she took it, her long eyelashes lowering in concentration. Angst looked at Tori’s pretty face, admiring her full lips, the curve of her jaw, and the long blond curly hair she’d kept for him. It draped her shoulders and hung to the small of her back in a sexy, curled mass. It had been a long time since it smelled like strawberry, and he missed that. She opened her eyes and shook her head then stared at him quizzically.

  “I figured you’d be looking at my boobs,” she said. “I obviously can’t read you right now.”

  “I just hadn’t gotten there yet,” he teased. “Let’s circle the outside of the dome. I can’t imagine the exit is in the middle.”

  They walked down a jagged road in silence, their crunchy footsteps echoing dryly between the nearby buildings and the shield. He didn’t let go of her hand, and she didn’t seem to mind. This place, with its still air and echoing walls and dark shadows, had to be the center of creepy in all Ehrde. The city was vast, far more than the needs of its current occupants. Angst felt it was larger still than Gressmore. How many mages had lived here? Was this place always underwater? What was it even called? For some reason, he felt a loss, like this city was another grave marker for more wielders.

  “She’s very pretty,” Victoria said quietly, taking her hand back and rubbing it on her cloak.

  “Who’s that?” Angst asked.

  “Never mind,” she said through gritted teeth.

  Victoria took the lead around a tall pile of rubble left by a building that had been sliced apart by the dome. The section of city they were exploring was made up of partial roads blocked by debris from building remains. He doubted the city had been built within a perfect circle, but couldn’t help but be impressed that the dome only seemed to cut off buildings at the very edge. It would’ve required a powerful caster, maybe several, and a very accurate spell.

  “Faeoris seems to like you, a lot,” Victoria said.

  “I like her, too,” he said honestly. “She’s amazing. I hope she sticks around for more adventures.”

  “Up above, I caught a glimpse of her future,” she offered. “I think you’ll know her for a very long time.”

  This made Angst smile. He really did like her, and wanted to get to know her better. Hopefully, Heather wouldn’t mind that Faeoris didn’t wear much. He certainly didn’t.

  “I think you two could be good friends,” Angst suggested. “If you gave her a chance.”

  “I don’t think that will happen,” she said with a sigh.

  “Oh?” Angst asked, trying to tease. “Is she too attractive?”

  “Yes!” Tori said, sticking out her tongue. She said nothing else.

  The exploration had continued in silence for ten incredibly long minutes when they came across a cave-sized hole. Dulgirgraut glowed warningly over his shoulder, and he wondered why. The hole certainly didn’t belong with the rest of the architecture; it almost seemed fresh. It was large, large enough for two or three people to enter, and seemed to lead under the dome. He couldn’t see anything else and took a cautious step down into it.

  “Angst,” she said quietly, holding onto his arm with both hands. “We need to stay away from there, please.”

  “Don’t you think that—”

  “No!” she said sharply.

  “Oookay,” he said, drawing out the word. “Are you seeing something?”

  “Just a feeling,” she said, pulling away.

  “Where do we go next?” he asked.

  He followed Tori, who was silent as death. He missed his friend. He missed their rapport and couldn’t tell if he was just exhausted or if things were actually broken. They kept arguing and then putting everything back together, and he had no clue where they stood right now.

  She led him back down the road they’d just walked, as if keeping him from danger. Tori stopped before a doorway and dragged him into a spacious room. Despite the broken tables and crumbling bar, it was a familiar sight. She’d found a tavern.

  “Ha!” he said aloud.

  “I thought this would make you smile,” she said with a wide grin. “You did say we would get into trouble.”

  “This is where it usually starts,” he said, taking her hands in his. He walked around her slowly, and she turned with him. “With a few drinks...”

  “And then a few more,” she said with a twinkle in her eye. She skipped every few steps. “And then we dance.”

  “And then you dance, or whatever that wiggle thing is you do,” he said, leering mischievously. “I sort of sit there and gawk.”

  She shimmied delightfully, followed by a slow turn that made his too-sober heart skip a beat or two. Tori took steps toward him, got close, so very close he could’ve leaned forward and almost... She pulled away with smoldering eyes that melted him. They held hands, and she danced to silent music in the dim light of the foci, coming close yet staying out of reach. It was always enough to keep his attention, to keep him wanting more, but not too close, as if she were in a protective shell, a barrier he wouldn’t even try to break. When he finally tired of the dance and wondered if it wasn’t time to find their friends, she drew him in. The dance was over, the music that had never really been there was gone, and he looked down, and she looked up, and he remembered. He remembered how she’d ended their last dream, and he didn’t know what to say or how to feel. He held her tighter, and—

  “Angst,” Hector said in an accusing tone.

  It felt like he’d been caught by her parents, and he knew even before they pulled apart that Hector wasn’t alone. He turned to face them with warm cheeks and a dry mouth. Hector looked at him with the disappointed gaze of a man who’d discovered you’d got his daughter pregnant. Tarness eyed him in disbelief, as if everything he’d said was lies. Faeoris was fury, her wings lighting the room as if she were ready to fly away.

  “You said we couldn’t do this,” the Berfemmian snapped, her fingers digging into the rotting wood of the bar. “You are filled with lies, like all men.”

  “I agree,” Tarness said, his voice heavy with disappointment.

  “We just don’t have time for this!” Hector yelled.

  And his yells were joined by the others’, including Tori’s, as Angst stood in the middle like the failed director of a choir gone mad. His gut tensed to hear his friends’ accusations, so infuriating he could barely contain the lump in his throat. When their words stopped making sense, and he was certain their shouts were about to crack open the protective dome, he screamed. “Shut up!”

  They all fell sile
nt, the disappointment in their eyes like daggers.

  “This,” he pointed at Tori, “is not lies. It’s not deceit. It’s none of your business!”

  “I—” Faeoris said.

  “Shut up,” he snapped, unable to hold back a tear. “Hector doesn’t like how I go about being a hero, Dulgirgraut hates being bonded with me, my most loyal friend accuses me of lying, and I can’t take it.”

  “It’s just—” Hector began. “You’re just being so—”

  “Angst?” he asked, crossing his arms and staring at his feet.

  He sniffed deeply and began to pace. He could feel himself push away emotionally, close them off with every word. “I try every day, from the moment I wake to that reluctant moment I let go and finally fall asleep. I try to be happy, to be supportive, to be there for everyone. I try to do it right, all of it. I feel like I work insanely hard, harder than I should actually have to, but I can only do this the way I know how.”

  “You just don’t understand,” Hector said in frustration.

  “Do you? I will never stop being Angst!” He slashed his hand in the air as he turned. “Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t know how! You, of all people, know that. You should all just do this without me. Or, maybe I should do it without you! Either way, figure out how to accept me, or stay behind next time!”

  Angst stomped to the entrance, leaving behind chagrin and anger.

  “Any questions?” Angst snapped over his shoulder.

  He could feel their stares, but heard nothing as he stormed away.

  He sat beneath the crack, which was now longer than his forearm and occasionally dripped saltwater onto his chin. He didn’t care. He was done with this adventure, and more than anything, he just wanted to sleep. He wanted to be with Heather, and he wanted to be away from all of this. Quite the heroic leader he’d turned out to be. He’d tried as hard as he could to be what everyone needed, but it felt like each of them wanted something else, someone else. How could he be what they wanted? How could he stop being Angst?

  “What is wrong, An-gst?” He heard Moyra’s beautiful voice in his head.