Desire After Dark: A Gansett Island Novel

by Marie Force

  “If you’re going to tell me some sob story that you think will change how I feel about you, then you’re wasting my time—and yours.”

  “It’s not a story. It’s the truth. I… I was knocked around by my old man. I never knew anything else. They’ve got me going to court-ordered counseling here, and the guy got me to tell him that. He said I needed to tell my kids so they’d understand why I am the way I am.”

  Stunned by the confession from a man who’d never once admitted to weakness of any kind, Owen tried to wrap his brain around what he was hearing.

  “I told the shrink that you kids would think I’m making excuses, and he said you can think whatever you want as long as I tell you the truth. I swear on my life I’m telling you the truth, and it’s something I’d never told anyone until I told him—even your mother has never heard any of this. She only knew that there was no love lost between me and my father. You were lucky you never knew him. The sadistic bastard died before you were born. One of the best days of my life was when he was hit by a car crossing the street. As far as I was concerned, he’d gotten exactly what was coming to him, but his rage… It was like he left it all to me. The first time I hit your mother was the day he died. I was wrong to do that. I knew it then. I know it now, but… It was like something would come over me, and I’d lose control of myself. The shrink… He’s helping me see how it’s all connected—what was done to me and what I did to all of you. I’m not making excuses. I swear that’s not what this is. I just… I wanted a chance to say I-I’m sorry for what I did, Owen, to you and the others. You all deserved better than me, and I won’t bother you anymore after this. I just… I wanted you to know. I’m sorry. Will you tell the others? Will you tell your mother?”

  Owen couldn’t breathe, let alone speak. Tears flooded his eyes, blinding him. He’d never heard his father say so many words at one time, unless they were angry words.

  “Owen, are you there?”

  Clearing the huge lump from his throat, he said, “I’m here.”

  “Will you tell them?”

  “Yeah, I will.”

  “Two other things I want to say, and then I’ll let you go. The first is that if you’re ever so angry with your wife or your kids that you feel you could harm them, get help. Get help right away. If I’d done that, my life would’ve turned out so different. Tell your brothers I said that, okay? Tell them to get help if it happens to them.”

  Owen took deep breaths as the tears continued to flow. “What’s the second thing?”

  “No matter how it might’ve seemed, I loved you all. I loved you very much.”

  Owen had absolutely nothing to say to that.

  “Thank you for taking my call. I’ll sign the papers for your mother right away and get them back to the lawyer.”

  “Dad…”

  “Yes?”

  “Thank you for telling me.”

  “Least I could do. You’ll tell your mother I said… Tell her I said to be happy. She’s certainly earned the right.”

  Owen wiped away more tears. “I’ll tell her.”

  “Take care, son.” And then he was gone, having dropped an emotional bomb into Owen’s lap, changing everything he knew to be true in one ten-minute conversation.

  He ended the call and took a deep breath, trying to regain control of his emotions. “Sure as shit wasn’t expecting that.”

  “Oh my God, Owen.”

  That was when he realized Laura was crying, too. He reached for her, and they held each other as they tried to comprehend what his father had told him.

  “What’re you thinking and feeling?” she asked after a long silence. “I can’t even begin to know.” She raised a hand to his face to wipe away his tears.

  “I… I don’t know either. All I’ve ever done is hate him. I don’t know how to think of him as anything other than a monster. But hearing that…”

  “You believe him?”

  “I do, and you want to know why? Because General Mark Lawry would never, ever admit to anything that smacked of weakness, even to further his own agenda. There’s no way he would’ve told me something like that if it wasn’t true.”

  “Come lie down with me.”

  They crawled into bed and came together in the middle, arms and legs intertwined, her head on his chest.

  “Now I have to tell everyone else about this. How do I do that?”

  “The same way he told you. He came to you with this because he knew you’d be strong enough to handle it the same way you’ve handled everything else for your family all these years.”

  “I guess.”

  “It’s true, Owen. He chose you, despite your differences, because he has faith in you to take care of the others.”

  “Will you take care of me while I take care of them?”

  “Always.” She pushed herself up on one elbow so she could kiss him.

  Needing her desperately, Owen grasped handfuls of her long hair and held her close to him, losing himself in the sweetness and heat of a kiss that became desperate and needy in no time at all. Whenever he was drowning, she was there to save him, to anchor him, and he loved her more with every passing day.

  Without her, the bomb his father had just dropped in his lap would’ve blown the lid off his life. With her, it was shocking but manageable. They’d figure out the way forward together, and knowing that made it possible for him to cope.

  “Let me,” she whispered against his lips, rising to straddle him. Her baby belly made this the most comfortable position for her, which was fine with him. She groaned as she took him in.

  “Don’t say it.”

  “Why not? Did you or did you not get more than your share?”

  Owen wouldn’t have thought it possible to laugh or smile, but she showed him otherwise as she came down on him, taking him in until he was fully seated in her tight heat. Making love with her was as close as he’d ever come to heaven, and he couldn’t get enough.

  She shuddered on top of him, proving that while he might’ve gotten more than his share, she loved every bit of what he had to give. Rocking in a slow, sensual rhythm, she drove him mad as he tried to remain still, to let her set the pace. He was always so afraid of hurting her, so he kept his hands on her hips and tried not to lose his mind as she rode him.

  With her head thrown back and the faint glow of the lights from outside illuminating her pale skin, she looked like a goddess come to life. She was his goddess, the love of his life, his reason for being and the only one who could make him forget his painful past, even if only for a while.

  “Owen,” she whispered.

  “I’m here, baby. What do you need?”

  “You. Just you.”

  He sat up, wrapped his arms around her and held her as she came, taking him with her into bliss. There was no other word for what they found together. “Love you, Laura. I’d be losing my mind if I didn’t have you to hold me together.”

  “I love you, too, and I’ll always be here to hold you together if you do the same for me.”

  “Nothing else I’d rather do.”

  Chapter 23

  Adam danced with Abby to “Stay With Me” by Sam Smith, singing the lyrics in her ear as she giggled from the champagne they’d consumed over the course of the unforgettable evening. The wedding they’d thrown together in just over a week’s time had come together perfectly, with everyone they loved best in attendance, the winter wind howling outside while a huge fire burned in the fireplace in the dining room of the McCarthys’ Gansett Island Inn, which had been transformed by the hotel staff for the wedding.

  “So how’d we do?” Adam asked Abby. “On a scale of one to ten, ten being the best.”

  “I’d give this night a one thousand.”

  “I was thinking more like one in a million.”

  “One in a billion.”

  He smiled down at her. “Are you happy?”

  “You can’t tell?”

  “Just making sure, since your happiness is my sole reason for
being.”

  Sighing, she rested her head on his shoulder. “Sometimes I still think I dreamt this whole thing—from that first day on the ferry and every day since then. There’s no way this can possibly be real.”

  “Oh, it’s real, sweetheart. It’s as real as it gets.”

  “After what happened two weeks ago, with the doctor and the diagnosis and everything, I wanted to give up, but you wouldn’t let me. Thank you for that and a million other things.”

  “Thank you for marrying me and giving me a whole lifetime to share with you.”

  “I apologize in advance for the hard parts.”

  “No apology needed. We’ll figure it out as we go. As long as I have you and you have me, the rest is easy.”

  “You really think it’ll be that simple?” she asked, looking up at him with gorgeous brown eyes gone liquid with emotion.

  “Probably not, but I really believe there’s nothing we can’t handle as long as we do it together.” He kissed the top of her head and breathed in the bewitching scent of his love, feeling the silk of her hair against his face. No matter what came their way, he would do whatever it took to protect her from hurt or disappointment. She’d already had enough of both in her life. Now was the time for happily ever after.

  They were surrounded tonight and in life by the people they loved best—his parents and siblings as well as their partners, his cousins, their friends, Abby’s family and their larger island family. That community would celebrate with them during the good times and prop them up through the tough times. Adam truly believed they would successfully weather the storm of her illness, and they would find a path to parenthood, too. Maybe it wouldn’t be the conventional path, but it would be their path.

  Next to them, Dan danced with Kara, Evan with Grace, Grant with Stephanie, Mac with Maddie, Joe with Janey, Shane with Katie, Tiffany with Blaine, Seamus with Carolina, Adam’s dad with his mom, his Uncle Frank with Betsy, his Uncle Kevin with Chelsea, and Luke with Sydney. Others had come and gone throughout the evening, but the core group remained and would be there for them through it all.

  “What do you say we get out of here, Mrs. McCarthy?”

  “Ready whenever you are.”

  His reply was a not-so-subtle tug on her hand, leading her in the direction of the lobby.

  “Shouldn’t we say good night to everyone?”

  Adam took a look around to find all the happy couples engrossed in each other. “Nah. They’ll figure out for themselves that we split.”

  “That’s kind of rude.”

  “I’m kind of horny for my wife.”

  “Honestly, Adam. Did I marry a man or a teenage boy?”

  “I’m all man, baby. Let’s go upstairs, and I’ll show you.”

  She was still giggling when he steered her through the lobby and up the stairs. His mother had assigned them the hotel’s top-floor honeymoon suite, and their bags had been delivered earlier. It’d been years since Adam had been up here, and he couldn’t remember what the room looked like. However, with his mother managing the hotel, he knew the room would be first class.

  Adam used the key card she had given him to open the door. “Wait a second,” he said to Abby when she would’ve gone in ahead of him. He could tell he surprised her when he swept her off her feet to carry her across the threshold, making her giggle some more.

  He loved that champagne made her giggle, and he loved the lighthearted sound of her laughter, especially in light of the trauma of her diagnosis. He’d worried for a while that she might never laugh again, but his resilient Abby had bounced back after a few rough days, determined to battle her illness and fight for the life they both desperately wanted.

  Adam swung her around in a big circle before setting her down in the middle of the sitting area, in front of another fireplace that had been lit for them. When he was certain she was steady on her feet, he went to open the glass doors to let the heat and scent of the fire into the candlelit room.

  Someone had gone to a lot of trouble to ensure a romantic setting for the newlyweds. Adam fervently hoped it was Daisy and not his mother. It was Daisy. That was his story, and he was sticking to it. Then he looked down at Abby, saw tears in her eyes and was instantly on alert. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing is wrong. Everything is absolutely perfect. This is beautiful.” Her gaze took in the fire, the candles, the four-poster bed with the crisp white linens that had been turned down for them, the red rose petals scattered over the bed and the champagne chilling in a bucket next to the bed.

  “So are you,” he said, running his fingers through her dark silky hair. He’d been so glad she left it down the way he liked it best. It might be safe to say he was obsessed with her hair, constantly touching it, burying his face in it, breathing in the scent he’d know anywhere as hers. “How do you like being married so far?”

  “Best thing ever, but only because I married you.”

  “That’s a good answer.”

  “What about you?”

  “I’m actually relieved.”

  Her brows knitted adorably. “How come?”

  “I was afraid you might run away from me before we could make it official.”

  “I thought about it.”

  “I know you did. Why do you think I’ve spent every waking minute with you for the last two weeks?”

  “It wasn’t because of the holidays?”

  Adam shook his head. “I was afraid to give you too much time to yourself to think about how much better off I’d be without you when that couldn’t be further from the truth.”

  “I still feel guilty about marrying you, knowing I might not be able to—”

  He silenced her with a deep, passionate kiss that he hoped removed all doubt from her mind that he’d gotten exactly what—and who—he wanted most tonight. “No more of that. No more guilt or thoughts of running away or anything other than happily ever after. You hear me?”

  She slipped her arms around his neck and went up on tiptoes to kiss him. “I hear you.”

  “Do you really? Do you know I mean every word I said to you tonight? That I love you no matter what happens? That I love you even if we can never have children the old-fashioned way? Even if you gain weight or lose some of your gorgeous hair?”

  Her big eyes were shiny with unshed tears. “I believe you, Adam. And I’m so very thankful that you feel that way about me. It makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.”

  “We’re both lucky to have been on that ferry together last summer. That was fate bringing us together at our lowest point and showing us a whole new path forward together. I honestly believe that.” He kissed her neck and nibbled on her earlobe. “I don’t want you to spend one more second worrying about what might happen. I want you to stay completely focused on right here and right now.” He cupped her breasts and ran his thumbs over her nipples, which tightened into hard points under her dress. “Can you do that?”

  “Mmm, if you keep that up, I certainly won’t be thinking about anything else but you.”

  “I plan to keep this up forever,” he said, lightly pinching her nipples to make his point.

  She gasped and leaned into him, pressing her body against his erection.

  Adam reached around to her back, found the zipper and lowered it slowly, dragging his fingers over her heated skin as he went. Her face was flushed with excitement, her eyes bright with desire and her lips swollen from their kisses.

  “Why are you staring at me?”

  “Because I’ve never seen anyone look more beautiful than you do right now.”

  “You don’t look too bad yourself, Mr. McCarthy, but then again, I’ve always thought you were hot, even when I was dating your brother.”

  “We’ve agreed to never speak of that.”

  “With him,” she said, giggling again. “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Besides, he’s not too shabby to look at either.”

  Adam scowled playfully as he helped her out of the dress, his eyes boggling
at the sight of the sexy getup he found underneath. “Don’t remind me that you used to sleep with my brother.”

  “That was a lifetime ago. It has no bearing on us.”

  “I know, baby. I feel like my whole life began all over again that day I found you on the ferry when you were swearing off men, and I was prepared to never have sex again if it meant I had to get involved with another woman.”

  “That vow didn’t last long,” she said, flashing the saucy smile he adored.

  “Let’s talk about what you’re wearing.”

  She took a step back from him so he could get the full impact. “This old thing?”

  It was almost too much for his brain to process—a bustier that showcased her full breasts, trim waist and curvy hips, a garter belt, sheer thigh-high stockings and three-inch heels. She was a sexy vision in virginal white, and she was all his for the rest of his life. “Someone pinch me, please. I can’t possibly be married to the sexiest woman to ever draw a breath.”

  “Stop,” she said, her chest and face flushing in embarrassment.

  “Never.” He closed the small space between them and ran his hands down her back to cup her cheeks, which had been left bare by a thong. “Do I have Tiffany Taylor to thank for this heart-stopping moment?”

  “Perhaps,” she said with a coy smile.

  “She’s very, very good at what she does. So good, in fact, that all my plans for a slow, sexy seduction of my wife have gone right out the window in favor of a quick, hard, urgent fuck.”

  “Yes, please.”

  “Mmmm, such lovely manners from a woman wearing a getup intended to make her husband insane.”

  She removed his tie and unbuttoned his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders. “Are you insane?”

  “Absolutely, positively, out of my mind crazy about you.”

  “We can go slow the next time,” she said, going to work on his belt and the button to his pants, which dropped into a pile at his feet. Her hands inside the back of his boxers, squeezing his ass, was nearly the end of him.

  Adam helped her along by removing the shorts himself and walking her backward to the bed. “What’s about to happen here is all your fault, Mrs. McCarthy.”