I give a nod of my head. “Ready.”
“So I’m gonna hang around here and make sure you have a nice, home cooked meal for you when you get back. How does that sound?” Nat offers Sadie a smile.
The women exchange a hug. “Thank you. You’re the best,” Sadie mumbles into Nat’s hair. “Just don’t go overboard. The last time you cooked over here, I had enough rice and baked beans to last me through the turn of the century.”
Natalie laughs. “Oh, shush. Get out of here. Have some fun.”
Natalie and her Mini Me say their goodbyes to us and we make a quick exit. Sadie jams her hands into the front pockets of her jeans and smiles softly at me, keeping a little distance between us as we walk. Against my better judgment, I grab her wrist and pull her closer, letting my fingers twist up with hers.
I notice the way she swallows hard as if the show of affection makes her nervous. It should make me nervous, too, but I need to be touching her right now. Because three weeks is all we have left and I don’t want to waste precious moments trying to do the politically correct thing. So we hold hands as we walk quietly across town.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Xavier
When we get to the park, there’s a little cart selling ice cream on the edge of the sidewalk. I buy two vanilla soft serves and we sit on a bench.
I brush her hair back from her face. “So, tell me. What are the doctors saying about your father’s condition?”
“The damage to his kidneys is severe.” Her tongue circles the base of the melting ice cream. I try not to focus on that because, although the subtle movement is like an encrypted message aimed straight at my cock, it would be pretty inappropriate to get hard right now. “He’s going to need a transplant but in the meantime, he’ll be getting dialysis three times a week. It’s painful and he hates it but he doesn’t have many other options.”
“Shit—I’m sorry, darling.” My hand falls to her leg, smoothing back and forth. “Have you considered donating a kidney to him. I know it’s a lot but maybe that could help him.”
“Believe me, I would if I could but…”
“But what?”
“This is something I’ve never told anyone…” She chews on her lip, as if considering whether or not to tell me a deeply-hidden truth. But when she looks into my eyes, she must see the worry there, the genuine concern. “He’s…he’s not really my father. Not biologically.”
My heart sinks into my toes because I see how hard it is for her to tell me this. “Sadie…”
“The fact that we aren’t related by blood narrows down the already-slim chance that I might be a match. He and my mother had a fling close to a year before I was born. She tried to convince him that I was his but the timelines didn’t match up. Still, he took me anyway. Knowing that I wasn’t his, knowing that I would be a life-changing responsibility. He took me on when he didn’t have to, when my own mother gave me up…” Tears leak freely. “I love him, Xavier. I can’t even tell you how much.”
I pull her into my arms without hesitation, holding her to me, doing my best to shield her from the pain but it’s eating her up from the inside and there’s not a thing I can do about that. It was bad enough that she has never known her mother but learning that the man who raised her isn’t related to her by blood. Fuck—I want to tear down the whole world to find the cruel woman who inflicted all this pain on my darling Sadie.
She sniffles in my arms. “I shouldn’t cry. I’m lucky, really. He always loved me as if I were his daughter. He never threw into my face that fact that I wasn’t actually his. I’m lucky…but sometimes, it just feels like, like I don’t belong to anybody. Like I don’t belong anywhere.”
I get the urge to scoop her up in my arms and kiss her and tell her that she belongs with me. But I can’t do that. Because I’m only transitory. I can’t stay here with her. And the last thing I want to do is lie to her…anymore than I already have.
She eases away and wipes at her tears with her heel of her palm. “Anyway, the situation is not completely hopeless. There’s a clinical trial that a few of Dr. Gallo’s colleagues at the hospital were involved in. Creating a small medical device that would replace the dialysis but they ran out of funding recently. They’re working on finding more money.”
“They ran out of funding?”
“Yes.”
“And they just stopped the research?”
“Well, they didn’t have the money to continue the tests.” Sadie speaks calmly, like the things she’s saying make sense.
Suddenly disgusted by this bullshit, I toss my ice cream cone into a nearby rubbish bin. “But people’s lives are on the line.”
She closes her eyes and takes a quivering breath. “They’re really confident that they’ll get the backing they need for the research. Things like this just…take time.”
And the fear on Sadie’s face clearly tells me she’s not sure if her father has time.
Another tear slips down her cheek and I just lose it. I’m done seeing her cry.
So, I cover her mouth with mine, kissing her softly. My fingers go into her hair and I tilt her head, allowing my tongue to breach the seam of her lips. She tastes so damn wonderful and the sound of her little moans is music, a sweet symphony.
I get so lost kissing her that time and space slip away. I get totally wrapped up in it…
Until I feel a solid whack to the cranium.
“Ouch!”I jump in my seat. Disoriented, I glance around massaging the back of my scalp.
Sadie looks confused by my abruptly pulling away. “What’s wrong?”
I bend and scoop up the yellow plastic Frisbee lying at my feet. Sadie slaps a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide with shock. “Oh my god. Are you okay?”
“Fuck!” I mutter, still rubbing my head.
She flings what’s left of her ice cream into the rubbish bin and now, her hand covers mine, circling in a soothing motion. Damn—I think I’m starting to feel better already. Until I notice that her shoulders are shaking with laughter.
Still wincing, I look up at her. “Hey! Too soon!” I scold her.
Even as I say it, I find my anger melting. Amusement curls the corners of my lips though I try to hold it back.
Sadie isn’t having any luck suppressing her reaction. Her hands are over her mouth again but she pitches snorts of laughter through her nose. And now, I’m laughing, too. I’m laughing hard, all the pain forgotten.
“I’m—I’m so sorry,” she manages to say between fits of amusement.
“You don’t look sorry,” I remark, tapping the Frisbee against her forehead.
She snatches the weapon from my hand and plops a quick kiss on my lips as her laughter dies down. “I’m totally sorry,” she says.
I don’t mind being the butt of this joke as much as I’m pretending to. It’s so good to see Sadie laughing after all that she’s been through lately. But I’ll be damned if I don’t use this occasion to my advantage. I catch her by the waist and pull her so she’s straddling my lap. “You know what would make me feel better?”
“I’m almost afraid to ask,” she confesses, adjusting her thighs around my hips.
Bending forward, I catch the neckline of her T-shirt between my teeth. “A little motorboat,” I say innocently. Then, I plunge my face into her cleavage and nibble at her delicate skin as I tickle her ribs.
Laughing, she throws her head back and tries to beat me off. “Stop it!” she hisses. “We’re in public. What about the children?”
I pull away and her face is wearing that beautiful pink tint I love so much. But when her head snaps up and her gaze moves just past my shoulder, her cheeks go crimson red.
I take a glance over my shoulder and find two people standing there. The guy is about our age. His brows are slashed aggressively and something like vitriol is brewing in his dark eyes.
Dammit—It’s that dumb wanker ex-boyfriend of hers. Cobi. Dressed in a Hawaiian print button down and shorts so short they look like he stole t
hem from the Chicago Bulls locker room at some point toward the end of the 70s. He’s got his arm looped through the arm of an older woman who looks almost identical to him aside from the string of pearls around her neck, a few wrinkles near her eyes and the neat bun secured at the nape of her neck. The woman is wearing a knee-length Hawaiian print skirt that matches the pattern on her son’s shirt. They slow to a stop in front of us just as Sadie scrambles out of my lap, rising to her feet.
“Oh, there’s our Frisbee.” At the sound of the old lady’s voice, Sadie’s posture goes rigid.
Cobi’s gaze is sharp and cold. “Hello, Sadie.”
She clears her throat, smoothing out the front of her tee. “Cobi, hello.” She doesn’t sound like herself. She isn’t behaving like herself. It’s obvious that the older lady has a strong effect on her. The women share a look and exchange cardboard smiles. “Mrs. Cordner. It’s great to see you. You said this Frisbee is yours?”
“Yes, it is,” the woman says stiffly and snatches the disk away, a little too roughly for my liking. “I’ll have it back now.”
Cobi’s eyes are on me.
Sadie’s voice is flat. “I believe you’ve met Xavier.”
“Hey mate.” My fingers curl into a fist and I lift it into the air. Although I want to slam it into his eye, I do my best impersonation of ‘amicable’. I wait a beat and he knocks his fist into mine, the universal hermano à hermano greeting according to the Bro Code.
The mother adjusts the rim of her sun visor and tugs on her son’s arm. “We’d better get going. We don’t want to be late for Hilda’s tai chi class because you know she doesn’t like tardiness.”
Cobi gives Sadie another bitter look and my urge to smack him increases. “Yes, let’s go,” he tells his mother before glancing at us. “Bye folks.”
And just as they’re walking away, I swear I hear the mother mumble. “Well, she moved on fast. What is that they say about trying to turn whores into housewives?”
An angry laugh rumbles through her son. “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, huh?”
Nah, not gonna slide.
I spin out of my seat and go after him, yanking him back by the collar of his god-awful shirt. “What did you just say?”
When he twists around in my grasp, it’s clear he didn’t expect me to hear him say that. “I—I—”
His mother squeals when I give him a shake. “What the fuck did you just say?” I grit out.
“Look, man. I don’t want any trouble!”
“Then, apologize.”
“Xavier, it’s not worth it. Please.” Sadie’s voice pierces through the rage buzzing in my ears, blurring my vision. People are gathering around, watching. I hear a child crying somewhere in the vicinity.
“Apologize!” I demand.
I feel Sadie’s fingers lock around my bicep. I jolt from the soft heat of her fingertips on me. “Xavier, please…” she whispers. “He’s not worth it.” And the sound of her pleading my name is enough to make me forget the world of hurt I was about to unleash on this idiot.
Cobi turns toward her, face red, eyes bulging. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Okay?” He throws his hands up in surrender.
It’s only then that I let go of him. I give him a hard push in his mother’s direction. “Now, get the hell out of here!” I roar as the woman fawns over her overgrown man-child.
All eyes are on us. Women, children, dog walkers. Even that creepy guy from the laundromat. When I turn back, Sadie is stomping through our impromptu audience, toward the park’s exit. Shit! I jog to catch up with her. “Hey. Are you okay?”
She’s fuming. “Your response was one hundred percent exaggerated back there.”
“He disrespected you.” No man should be allowed to get away with that.
“And I could have handled him. You didn’t even give me the chance. You just swooped in to save the day. Again.” She’s so angry, with her hands balled up and her shoulders rigid.
I spin her around so she’ll look at me. “I can’t help it, Sadie. When I’m standing by your side, the world has to get through me to take a shot at you.” I pound a fist hard into my chest, shamelessly displaying the caveman that I am. “I protect you, I defend you. There will never be a time when it will be okay for anyone to disrespect you in front of me.” It’s that simple.
She sighs, the shaky breath moving through her. “And what happens when you’re not by my side, Xavier?”
I want to tell her that I’ll always be by her side and I want that to be the truth. But my days here are numbered and we both know it.
Her lips stretch into a sad smile when I say nothing. “That’s what I thought…” she whispers and takes off down the path again.
My shoulders weigh a ton as I follow after her. “With everything that’s been going on in your life, I just want things to be easier for you, darling.”
“It’s life, Xavier. It’s rarely ever easy. I understand that. I’m prepared for it. Hell—I’m used to it.”
I hate every word that’s coming out of her mouth. “You’re gorgeous, Sadie. And genuine. And so good. And I just want to protect you from anyone who’d try to hurt you.”
“You don’t have to defend me, Xavier.”
Now, I’m getting irritated. Why won’t she just let me take care of her? “I know that! But I want to!” She spins around and pins me with fire in her caramel eyes. My voice drops an octave, I plead with every fibre of my being. “I want to give you every damn thing I have to offer.”
She reaches up and cups my face in her hand. Her thumb brushes across the stubble on my chin. “This isn’t a fairytale. It’s some lost town in Middle-of-Nowhere, U.S.A. Your crown is no good here, Prince Charming. ”
With that, she walks off, leaving me there trying to figure out how to stop time so I can keep her forever.
Chapter Thirty
Xavier
Sadie is sitting beside me on the couch with the laundry basket on the floor at our feet. She's telling me some ridiculous story about her and Natalie from their teen years. She’s laughing so hard that she’s literally snorting like a pig. I sit back and watch her, a slight smile on my lips as I soak in her features. The perky tip of her nose. The graceful column of her neck. The way her tits jiggle with each mirthful sound that sputters from her body.
Dammit—this feels good. My toes tingling, my chest swelling, my heart overflowing. I can’t remember the last time I even thought of having a drink. Or getting numb. I want to feel everything. With Sadie, I want to feel everything. Because everything feels so damn good.
She doesn’t realize how much she’s taught me. About life, about humility. About love.
I’m in love with her.
There’s no more ‘falling’. I’ve face-planted. I am facedown in love. But I don’t know what comes next because happily ever after isn’t in the cards for us. I don’t get to keep her. Even though I really, really want to.
With the purest look of happiness shining in her eyes, Sadie slaps down a sloppily-folded Iron Maiden tee on top of the T-shirt pile. She watches as I pull a clean fitted sheet from the basket and shake it out in front of me.
“Don’t worry about that one,” she tells me with a chuckle. “I usually just roll it into a ball and shove it in the back of the closet.”
I hold a palm up to her appeasingly. “Look darling—I’ve got this. I’ve got this.”
“Oh really?” Her brow cocks up and she folds her arms under her breasts, watching, waiting.
“Have some faith in me.”
Fully up to the challenge, I stand from the couch and slip my fingers into the pointed corners of the fitted sheet, working to bring all four corners together one at a time. Then, I tuck the elastic bits inside before creasing the sheet into a perfectly flat square.
Watching all those YouTube videos paid off.
Throwing her a glance, I push my shoulders back proudly and grin. “Not bad, huh?”
“Dayummm.” A grin splits her face and her hand
s come together again and again in a purposeful slow-clap. “I’m impressed.”
“Are you really?” I spit out a curt laugh under my breath.
She pulls on the hem of my shirt until I plop down onto the couch cushion next to her. Then, she leans over and brushes her mouth over mine. “Really. I think I just squirted in my panties a little. A man who’s mastered this domesticated shit is a total turn-on.”
I snicker and give her upper thigh a cheeky squeeze before wordlessly grabbing another item to fold.
Her eyes are on the side of my face when she leans back slips her fingers under the waistband of her jeans to pull up the pretty pink elastic of her thong. “You can check,” she says flirtatiously. Lips quirking, eyes glittering.
Forcing my smile wider, my thumb draws a little circle on the back of her hand. “Don’t talk like that unless you want to find yourself on your knees and tied to the bedpost again, love.”
She watches me with concern in her dark irises. “Are you okay? You seem a little quiet tonight. Melancholy.”
She’s a sweet girl, and perceptive, too. I want her to know me, who I am, what life is waiting for me when I leave this place in a few weeks. I want to tell her everything. But I’m afraid to ruffle our situation. I like the way that things are between us. I don’t want the truth about me to change anything.
Then I look at her. The way she’s watching me, so eager and trusting, affectionate. And I want to share myself with her. It’s nearly frightening how much I want it.
“My grandmother’s been sick. She’s been getting worse over the past few weeks. Honestly, I’m becoming afraid of what will happen.”
“Oh Xavier, I’m so sorry.” She lays her hand on mine and squeezes. “I didn’t know.”
I blow a breath out, feeling like an idiot. “I haven’t talked about it. I was sort of hoping that if I ignored it, things would go back to normal.”
“Are you two close?” Her eyes warm with sympathy.
The Blue Collar Bachelors Box Set: The Complete Blue Collar Bachelors Series Page 99