“We’re not as close as we should be,” I admit. “I love her dearly and I know she loves me. But my grandmother is a strong believer in duty and obligation to family. She and I haven’t been seeing eye-to-eye. She’s not too pleased about my…leave of absence.” Frustration clogs my throat and my words peter off.
Sadie’s lips twist to the side. “She wants you back in Ridgeland…” She tries to play it cool but I see the little twitch in her features when she says it.
Ridgeland.
The mere sound of the word and a chill sweeps through my blood.
Right…Ridgeland.
I scrub my fingers across the pleats on my forehead. The somber look on Sadie’s face tells me she feels the same dread that I do. She inches closer and rests her head on my shoulder, almost as if she doesn’t want me to see the hurt on her face. Shit…
My fingers slide through her hair, curling around the ends. I hear her whisper. “Y’know—when you first said you lived in a palace in someplace called Ridgeland. I thought you were making it up.”
I huff through my nose. “I don’t blame you, darling. I’m just too good to be true. You thought you were making me up.”
She growls and playfully pinches my nipple. “Arrogant bastard…”
I flinch and bat her hand away. “You know you love it.”
Her eyes roll about in her skull. “Seriously though, you don’t act like a prince and you don't speak like a prince and you don’t dress like a prince.”
Her shoulders stiffen. “Well, tell me, Sadie darling…Do I kiss like a prince?”
My arms slipping around her, I pull her flush to me and my mouth meets hers without pause, without hesitation. The kiss is intense, wet, deep. I kiss her like I own her. Like she’s mine. She kisses me like she believes it. And she melts against me, moaning and breathing hard, fingers clenching possessively on my back.
I’m breathless when we pull apart. My head is light and dizzy. I whisper against her lips. “Girl, when you kiss me like that, it makes me want to make you my princess.”
“Well, we both know that’s not gonna happen.” Notes of sadness dance in her tone. She says the words quietly, almost like I wasn’t supposed to hear them.
My heart squeezes painfully. Fuck—I’m hurting her…
With a finger under her chin, I lift her face so she’s looking at me.
The pain in her eyes is raw. So is her love.
I never intended this. I never meant to end up feeling this way. Now what the hell am I supposed to do?
Her fingers crawl beneath the hem of my T-shirt and she draws shapes along my side. “What’s it like? What’s Ridgeland like?”
A rough inhale expands my chest. “Gray.”
She chuckles softly. “Gray?”
“Yeah, it rains all the damn time…” I circle an arm around her waist and pull her into my lap, angling her toward the world globe sitting on Ethel’s coffee table. Sadie straightens, her full attention riveted to the sphere. “We’re a small island in the Bay of Biscay, just south of the Celtic Sea. Smack dab between England and Spain.” My finger points to the spot. Ridgeland is barely a speck of green in the expansive mass of water.
She listens quietly, attentively, her fingers splayed across my heart. “I just can’t believe I’d never heard of it before I met you. Not on the news. Not in geography class. It’s like it sprouted up out of nowhere.”
“Most people say that,” I tell her. “We’re pretty low-key on the world stage. Grandmum doesn’t like to flaunt our power but our little sovereignty is mighty.”
“Tell me more about it,” she says softly.
I scratch at my stubble, trying to decide where to start. “Well, originally the island was known as Aravaña. It was under Spanish rule for a couple of centuries until it got handed over to England in some treaty after…some war.” I glaze over the details because honestly, History was never my best class. “Basically, that’s why we look like the Spanish but we sound like the Brits.”
“Which war was that?”
I chuckle. “Not sure which one because those arseholes were always fighting over something."
She laughs, too. “Tiny kings trying to overcompensate?”
“Right. Napoleon complex, I guess. In any case, Grandmum always jokes that the cession was actually a victory for Spain. They wanted to get the crazy, little island off their hands. The Arvañians behaved like savages. Difficult to reason with. Impossible to govern. The Brits couldn't tame my forefathers, undomesticated brutes that they were. It was a constant battle. After a particularly brutal battle along the coast, England granted Aravaña its independence and my namesake, the great warrior, Xavier George rose to power."
Her eyes shine with wonder. She hangs onto my every word. “Wow. That's fascinating.” Her attention is fixed on the globe, her little fingers tracing across the blue sea. “You come from a long line of badasses, huh?”
I huff a laugh. “I guess you could say so.”
“I’m not surprised.” She cups my stubbled chin in her tiny hand.
“Why are you smiling like that?” I get lost in her glittering eyes.
She shrugs. “You just seem really proud of your country, of your history.”
“I’m actually shocked I was able to tell you all that.” I snort out. “I never even realized I knew all this stuff. I wasn’t the most attentive student in school. I guess the information sunk in anyway.”
“Or maybe it’s imprinted in your genes…you instinctively know exactly where you come from. I’m jealous.”
I see the sadness in her eyes. I lower my face to hers. “Look, Sadie…Not knowing your mother has to be difficult for you.” I run a finger down her cheek. “I know it’s been hard for me.”
“Nah, I’m over it.” She keeps her eyes down on her lap when she says that. She isn’t telling the truth.
Calling her out on the lie she’s telling herself would be cruel, so I just go along with it. “Then, you’re stronger than I am,” I say. “Sometimes I wish I could see my mother. Just so I could tell her…tell her…” I struggle for the words that express how I feel. “…how much she fucking sucks!”
Sadie giggles. The cloud lifts from her eyes.
The Lord Kent, the palace barrister, pops into my mind. He would kill me for making these confessions to her, especially without a duly signed nondisclosure form in place. But this is the most honest, intimate moment I've ever shared with anyone. Ever. I wouldn't expect Kent—lying rat that he is—to understand. As painful as it is to admit that my mother’s abandonment has scarred me, the admission is worth it if it helps Sadie feel a little less alone.
I tilt her chin with my finger so she’s looking at me. “Knowing where you come from is hardly as important as knowing where you belong.”
She’s quiet for a while, her gaze on the Oriental rug at our feet. Then she looks up into my eyes, searching. “Where do I belong, Xavier?”
With me.
Silence pulses around us. The thoughts going through my head scare me. I must be losing my mind. But maybe I’d rather lose my mind than lose her. And if I don’t ask the question that’s been nagging me for days, I’ll never know the answer…
"What would you say if I asked you to come back to Ridgeland with me?"
"What?" Her caramel gaze rises slowly to my face.
"What if I asked you to come to Ridgeland with me? So we could keep seeing each other?"
"I would say that you’re out of your mind. Crazy pants."
I stroke my thumb across her chin. "Why would you say that?"
A thousand things are going through her mind. I can almost see the conflicting thoughts bouncing around. “Wait—Is this because of what Thandi said about you being my boyfriend? Xavier, you do realize that she’s just a child, right?”
I’m not letting her wiggle herself away from the topic so easily. “Why would you say I was crazy, Sadie? Why would you say no to coming to Ridgeland with me?”
She chews on her lower lip as she contempla
tes her answer. “Because I can’t just pack up and follow you halfway across the globe. That’s not how a fling works. My life is here. My job. I'm starting school soon. My dad is in the hospital. If I pack up and leave who's going to take care of him? Look, we have a few weeks left. Let's just focus on that. Have fun. That's what we agreed to, remember?"
I want to argue with her. I want to tell her that there’s got to be a way to make this work. But her heart is set. I can see that. Such a stubborn girl.
Instead, I bring my lips to hers and I kiss her. Softly, deeply, so she knows she’s cared for. So she feels it all the way to her soul.
When she pulls back, her eyes are shining with tears she’ll never let herself shed. Her breath fans over my lips. “You’re going to be a good king someday.”
My secrets weigh down on me. I don’t deserve her confidence. I don’t deserve the Crown. But she deserves the truth.
She thinks I’m a good person. I’m not.
“Don’t fool yourself, darling. You don’t know me…” I wish so deeply that I actually was the man she sees when she looks at me. Brave, strong, a leader. I’m none of those things.
“I know you enough to believe in you…” She says it with so much conviction. There’s no arguing with her unshakeable faith.
And for the first time, I wonder if maybe it’s worth believing in myself, too.
Chapter Thirty-One
Xavier
I really needed tonight's AA meeting. With the intense, confusing emotions I’ve been feeling lately, I needed some clarity, I needed some help getting my thoughts in order.
The things I feel for her are just too...much. I never planned on falling for her, especially not this hard. I've kept women at a careful distance all these years. I've kept everyone at a careful distance. But Sadie, she found a way in. Her carefree ways, her generous heart, her love for life. She broke through the gates around my heart.
Life has been cruel to her and I just want to guard her against all pain and gift her with the purest happiness she’s ever known. Even though, truth be told, I may be the one to crush her completely in the end. Because I'm going to have to tell her about the accident, about the cover-up. I won't be able to hold this secret forever.
Maybe it's time to tell her the truth.
Maybe I should do it tonight.
When I get to the apartment building, I pause at her door, wondering if she’s home or if she’s still at the hospital with her father. I want to be with her. I can’t wait anymore. I bang at her door.
“Xavier?” I hear her voice but it’s not coming from inside the apartment. It’s coming from upstairs, the penthouse floor.
I rush to the landing and peer up the stairs. I catch sight of Sadie standing outside my door. And I lose my breath.
She’s wearing a ball gown. Glimmering pale blue satin clenching her narrow shoulders and molding to her breasts, her torso, her waist. The fabric fans out around her. Soft frills hanging from her small waist. Her hair is in a complicated undo and dark tendrils drape down, framing her face. The crystals on her slim headband catch the light.
“Sadie…” My voice is caught in my throat. She looks like a dream. Like a princess.
She sets one hand on the banister, squeezing as if to keep herself from lurching down the stairs into my arms. Her big, caramel eyes are full of trepidation but a small smile curves her lips anyway. “Got plans for tonight?”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Sadie
Xavier’s hand is at the small of my back, causing tingles to dance beneath the thin fabric of my dress. His left palm is clasped against my right and our fingers are intertwined. Our chests brush close together and our bodies move in sync to the airy flow of Daniel Bedingfield’s If You’re Not the One.
It’s cheesy.
The broke, part-time barista dancing under twinkling string lights with a prince. I know better. So why is my heart beating like it’s trying to crack its way through my chest? Why are my knees struggling to hold me upright? Why do I feel so deeply—so dangerously—close to falling in love with this man in this moment?
Even in a room full of tuxedos and dress shoes, Xavier is the most gorgeous man in sight, confident and unflinching in his black T-shirt and jeans, his double-strap open-toe man-sandals. He even outshines the groom.
I still can’t believe we’re here and that it’s Nat and Alvin spinning around under the spotlight of the dance floor.
It all happened so fast. One minute we were on Natalie’s couch, watching yet another reality TV brawl. The next minute, Alvin was storming through the door, determination brewing in his stormy gaze. He was down on one knee, demanding my best friend’s heart and her hand in marriage. He said he didn’t want to wait a second longer, that he wanted to marry her tonight. He said, fuck his Bitcoin valuation. I watched her walls crumble as she finally gave in to the man she’s always loved.
And now, hours later, here we are, on the deck of Alvin’s bungalow. String lights and vibrant trumpet vines hang overhead. Soft music fills the intimate space as the small gathering of family and friends celebrate the spontaneous union that, in reality, was a long, long time coming.
My eyes linger on the dance floor. Nat beams in her slip of white satin and lace and crystal. Alvin’s arms are around her, holding her so tight I know that, this time, he’ll never let her go.
Everybody is so genuinely excited for them. I look around at the happy couple’s friends and family, their daughter. My heart is so very full.
This is the atmosphere for falling in love.
My attention travels back to Xavier. The smile on his face is soft, wistful. His gaze sinks all the way into my soul.
“What are you thinking?” I can’t help but ask.
“I’m thinking that you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. And this song is mushy as hell but I feel like every word of it is being plucked directly from my heart.” When I hear him say that, my pulse clips away at a crazy pace. I pray for it to slow down.
Don’t fall in love with him. Don’t fall in love with him. Don’t fall in love with him.
I know damn well it’s too late. I am so gone for this man. And I know my heart’s going to end up broken. I know that the clock will eventually strike twelve and I’ll be left hurting. But in this moment, I know it’ll be worth it.
His hands come up and cup my cheeks. A tender assault on the weak threads of my self-control. His tender words float across the space between us. “You’re so magic, darling girl. I was dead before I met you…How did you bring me back to life?”
I look at him and tears press at the corners of my eyes, blurring my vision. What I want to say is ‘I love you. So, so much. Despite the list of reasons you’ve given me not to.’ Despite the fact that when you leave in three weeks, you’re going to tear my heart out and take it with you. Instead, I just smile.
He bends closer to brush his lips over mine. My chest shudders at the power behind that small gesture. Dammit. I’m not supposed to feel this weak. I’m not supposed to be head over heels. I’m supposed to be tough. Teflon Sadie. Carefree. Unaffected.
But for this man, for this kiss, I’m all in.
When we pull apart, every person and every thing around us has faded to a blur. We’re alone, floating in the universe with nothing but the stars glittering around us. This man makes me forget every defence I’ve ever crafted, every doubt I’ve ever hidden behind. I want to cling onto him forever.
His lips hover close to my ear. “I want to make love to you, darling. I want to get so lost inside of you, I want to go to a place where no one else can ever find me. Please.” His eyes are pleading. He’s not begging for sex. He’s begging for connection, for union, for that special something that happens on a soul level every time our bodies join.
My heart shakes with emotion. My fingers tingle as they climb the length of his broad back. “I want that, too.”
He eases back and slides his hand into mine, his expression grave and urgent, but ador
ing all the same. “Let’s go.”
As he guides me across the wooden deck toward the exit, my eyes meet Natalie’s. She’s wrapped up in Alvin’s arms, head thrown back with laughter as her groom sways her around the dance floor. I give her an apologetic expression as I subtly nod my head toward the door.
She winks her approval and blows me a kiss. Right then, Alvin gives her another spin and she fades into a blur of white lace and giggles. Xavier leads me out the door.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Xavier
I don’t know how to not tell her anymore…
I love her.
That’s all I keep thinking as the cab pulls away from Nat and Alvin’s wedding celebration. I have to tell her. And I don’t know where the hell we’ll go from there but we have three weeks to figure it out. I’m going to love her with everything I’ve got for the rest of my time here. I’m going to give her every part of me. So, that when it’s all over, we’ll both be transformed and she’ll know that she is loved.
Her body is draped across mine on the back bench of the taxi. Her arms cling tight to my waist. Her cheek is burrowed in the curve of my neck. My chin nestles in her hair. When she arches her neck and places a sweet kiss on my lips, I lean down and deepen the connection. So hungry for her. In every way.
My gaze drifts out the window as we’re approaching the intersection. A sudden wave of tension causes all my muscles to go taut. My fingers tighten at Sadie’s waist. My jaw twitches.
A fleet of black SUVs line the sidewalk in front of our building under the golden glow of the streetlamps. A broad-shouldered, dark-suited man stands ramrod stiff beside each vehicle and a familiar purple, white and gold flag waves proudly from the hood of each car.
I hear Sadie’s startled gasp beside me. I feel the intensity of her eyes on the side of my face. She says nothing. Neither do I.
This is fucked up.
The taxi slows to a halt across the street from the building. I shove a fistful of money at the driver who gushes with appreciation before screeching away from the curb.
The Blue Collar Bachelors Box Set: The Complete Blue Collar Bachelors Series Page 100