“Joshua. Seriously. Get lost.” I continue my march across the grass. “I can’t believe you’re even making me this crazy proposition right now. You stood me up on our wedding day. You left me standing there like an idiot. Why should I do you any favors?”
He sighs roughly. He looks off into the distance. “I didn’t know myself back then. I was lost. And I just had so many different people chirping in my ear. That made it hard to make any decisions, to think straight. I mean, there was Alina—”
“Alina?” I glance back and jerk up a brow.
His bleached teeth sink into the corner of his lip. “One of the strippers from my bachelor party—”
I heave a sigh. “Seriously, Josh?”
“I’m trying to come clean, Sophie. Hear me out.” He rolls his shoulders back, the way he does when he’s trying to ease tension. “As I was saying, I was in bed with Alina. And she was putting serious doubts in my head…” He adopts a high-pitched imitation of a female voice. “‘Oh why do you wanna get married? Marriage is a trap’, ‘Oh, look how good your skin is. You’re gonna age so well’, ‘Oh, what’s the rush to settle down? You’re gonna regret it later’. And then Francie—”
“Who’s Francie?” I whisper.
“Francie was the other stripper. Gosh, follow along, Sophie.” He shoots me a look of irritation. “Francie, was like, ‘Men don’t go through menopause. You can get married anytime. You don’t have to rush into anything’. You see, I was taking advice from the wrong people.”
“Evidently.”
“But that doesn’t change the fact that I love you and we belong together.” He bats his blue eyes at me pleadingly.
“You don’t love me,” I say on an exhale. “You never loved me. For three weeks before our wedding, you didn’t even touch me. Not once.”
He flinches. “That’s because I had chlamydia. It was a stubborn strain and the antibiotics—”
My mind is spinning. “Get out of my face. Just go.” I thrust a finger in the direction of his car and the Barbie doll waiting inside of it. “I would rather rattle a tin can outside of the Quickie Stop on Cumber Street than get dragged into this scheme with you.”
At that, his repentant facade snaps right along with his patience. “Stop being difficult, Sophie. Just stop. Your pride is blocking your decision-making faculties right now. Open your eyes. You’re as desperate as I am and you know it. You ruined your life by getting pregnant by some random random. Now, you’re pushing around a grocery cart full of snot-faced kids for a living and you have baby food in your hair. God, when did you become such a basic bitch?” He paces and shoves his hand into his hair. “This is your chance to redeem yourself, to take your place in the Davies family dynasty.”
I think back to Clara. Elegantly-dressed and reeking desperation. That’s not a privilege. It’s a prison. “This conversation is over.” I step up to the edge of the playground where the children are toddling about. I lean my weight against the empty stroller as I watch them.
How did I ever think I loved this man? I legit hate the fact that he even exists right now.
His perfect forehead pleats with frustration and in that moment, I’m almost certain that he’s wearing cream foundation. “Look—we need to move past this. I’ve made mistakes. But I’m back to give you your happy ending.”
Pursing my lips, I pull in a breath. Then I turn to face him. “I’m confused about a lot of things, Joshua. Hardly anything in my life makes sense.” He nods in understanding as I bend over and rummage around in the bottom of the stroller before straightening to face him. “But there is one thing that is crystal clear to me...”
He steps closer and runs his fingers across my cheekbone. “What’s that, baby?”
My patience snaps and two years of repressed anger comes spilling out. “There is no happy ending for me that includes you.” I swing the bottle up to his face and squirt the dirty breastmilk at his smug grin.
His high-pitched shriek fills the air as he brushes wetness from his hair and face. A string of obscenities pours from his mouth as he sprints back toward his waiting car.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Archie
Exhausted and utterly miserable, I heft my bag on my shoulder as I trudge out of the administration office of the grimy roadside motel in the grimy backwoods town I’ve just arrived in.
There’s no plan. No objective beyond making it through another day. And I don’t know why I’m even bothering with that.
I clench my fingers and the blunt teeth of the room key bite into my palm. The warm colors of the sunset light up the sky but do nothing to improve my gloomy mood.
A group of bikers perch on their motorcycles and eye me suspiciously as I climb the stairs. I give them a lethargic chin tip and they lose interest, turning back to their conversation. As I’m sliding my key into the lock of room 104, a monster pickup truck pulls into the parking lot.
“Are you fucking serious?” I mutter to myself.
The truck pulls into a parking space and the engine cuts off.
“How the fuck did you find me?” I growl as Charlie and Leo hop out of the truck, their doors slamming behind them.
“Hello to you, too,” Charlie grumbles as he moves toward the stairs.
Leo smirks at me. “We’re ex-military. We know a guy who knows a guy who knows how to track cellphone signals.”
Bastards.
“Why are you here?” I lean against the rusty metal railing and make my face as unwelcoming as humanly possible as they climb the stairs.
Charlie’s words drip with sarcasm. “We are here to assist you in removing you head from your ass. And we’re prepared to resort to surgical means, if necessary.” He smacks me in the back of the skull.
Leo chuckles.
I don’t have time for this. I need to get some weight off my leg. “To y’all this is a joke. To me, it’s my fucking world crashing down around me. So fuck off.” I shove the door open and step inside.
A blast of musty air hits me immediately. I don’t even twitch. I’m starting to get used to the putrid, impersonal smell of nondescript motel rooms. Dumping my bag on the floor near the dressing table, I fall onto the edge of the bed.
Leo comes in and sits on the dressing table. Charlie takes his station, leaning against the doorframe. The silence presses down on me, making everything harder. Sharpening my guilt. Amplifying my depression.
Finally, I blurt out. “Sophia is goddamned perfect, okay? She deserves better than a mangled Frankenstein who the military patched back together. I don’t get to have a happily ever after with a woman like her. It’s not in the cards. When I left her in that Las Vegas hotel room, I told her to find a good man who deserves her—”
“And that man is you,” Leo interrupts.
“Sophia is a great girl,” Charlie says, “She’s wonderful and kind and optimistic. But one thing she’s not? Weak. She doesn’t need you walking around wielding a sword or shooting fireballs out of your asshole to protect her. She can hold her own. But she needs love, Jones. She needs a guy who’s gonna stand by her side no matter what, even when he’s scared, even when he doesn’t feel like he’s man enough.”
“Your biggest flaw isn’t that you’re missing a leg,” Leo tells me candidly. “Your biggest flaw is that stupid, twisted belief beneath your skull that you don’t deserve love, that you aren’t a good man. Fuck that noise. Drown it out. You have a duty toward your family. They need you. Don’t cower away from that responsibility.”
Fuck. I thought that running away would be easy, that hiding from these feelings in me would be the answer. But these two brawny assholes in front of me are determined to terrorize me with the hope. Hope that I can be the person I’ve convinced myself I could never be.
The shrill sound of Charlie’s phone slices through the air. “It’s my wife,” he mumbles, his lips splitting in a smile as he steps outside to take the call.
Leo huffs out through his nose as he stares after our friend. He shakes his h
ead. “Did you ever think Charlie could become a one-woman man? Or did you think that I would find fucking euphoria after my brutal divorce? Do you remember the conversations we had when you were trying to convince me to go after Reese? I was a fucking train wreck, man. Now, look at me.” He spreads his arms out around him. He does look pretty good. Freshly showered and well-rested at the least. “That’s the power of love, Archie. When it’s coming at you, you can’t stop it. But when you embrace it, it changes you. It turns you into the person you need to be to become worthy of it. Embrace the love.” He gives me a goofy expression. “Lay down your weapons, soldier. Love doesn’t have to be a battlefield. It can just be…love.”
Slowly, his words settle into my thick skull. I entertain the possibility that he may be right. The possibility that Sophia might love me even if I’m not slaying dragons at every turn.
Maybe I can let me guard down. Maybe I can let love take a hold of me, submerge myself in it, in my family. Maybe…
Charlie bursts into the room, his eyes wide, his energy frantic. “We’ve gotta go, man.” He gives my knee a rough shake then punches Leo in the arm. “We’ve gotta go.”
“What’s going on?” Uneasiness slithers down my spine. I bolt upright.
Charlie’s words send a bolt of shock clear through my heart. “It’s Sophia. She needs you.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Sophia
Las Vegas
Two years ago, 5:49 A.M.
The early morning sun peeks up over the horizon, spreading rays of orange-purple light over the Strip. After catching a Cirque du Soleil show and spending way too much money on casino slot machines, we're on foot, heading back in the direction of the hotel.
The mood is somber. Our respective fates await us and we both look toward the future with something far less than enthusiasm.
I’ve got his suit jacket draped around my shoulders. My expensive wedding dress looks like something that got left behind at the end of a swap meet and I'm limping in my scuffed heels.
Tony glances over at me. “You okay?"
I give a weak smile. “These shoes weren't made for trekking down the Las Vegas Strip at 6:00 in the morning."
With a crooked half-smile and dimples on full display, Antonio crouches down in front of me and pats his back. "Hop on.”
My own lips curl into a little smile. “Are you serious?” If he’s even half as exhausted as I am, it’s definitely not fair to accept his offer.
But his head bobs assuredly. “Hop on, Daisy. Let me carry you.”
And I don’t know why it means so much to me but that gesture fills my heart all the way up. He’s been propping me up all night, giving me strength when I was sure I didn’t have anything left in me.
We’re completely quiet as he carries me the rest of the way, my pouffy wedding dress spread out around my legs. I cling to him, knowing that soon he’ll be gone. But the impression he’s left on me won’t ever fade away. And when I go back to Copper Heights and I have to face the world, his voice will be in my ear. Forever cheering me on.
So, in the fading moments that we have left together, I focus on the strength of his back under my weight and the scent of his skin. I try not to think of myself back in Copper Heights, trying to find a new normal for myself. I try not to think of him, thrust into the grips of war in some foreign country.
I just focus on here and now.
There aren’t that many people in the hotel lobby at this hour. And, thankfully, we're alone on the elevator. The doors close and there we are. Him, tall, regal and dignified. Me, hanging off his back, looking crazy and dirty and absolutely in love.
Our eyes catch in the mirrored wall and we wear matching expressions. Sad, dejected, a little afraid. His eyes tell me he doesn't want to let me go. And I don't want him to. But some things are outside of our control.
When the bell chimes and the elevator doors open, he carries me down the hall to his room. And the second he gets me inside, he shoves me against the door and his mouth molds to mine. We tear at each other’s clothes, so much urgency in the way we’re touching. He pulls a condom from his wallet but I’m on him. I can’t stop. I don’t want to stop.
We’re kissing.
We’re touching.
We’re naked on the bed and we’re making love.
Yes, it’s frantic. Yes, it’s greedy. But the emotion is there. Real, raw, right at the surface. This isn’t just about our bodies. This is about our hearts.
I never knew it was possible to feel this way. And so quickly. With so much certainty. This is insane.
He tastes me. Long, slow strokes of his tongue into the heat of my mouth. His hands knead my breasts as his cock pistons through my channel and sensations fire throughout my system.
And when it all becomes too much, when it overwhelms the both of us, we explode together, clinging to the pinnacle of pleasure for as long as we can before floating back down together.
Satiated. Intertwined. Limbs locked together. Hearts beating in a steady, synchronized rhythm.
The next thing I remember is opening my eyes. Seeing him kneeled down beside the bed. He’s wearing his uniform, looking dignified and courageous. Staring right at me.
Reality slams me hard. I swallow, sitting up on the side of the mattress. “You have to go…”
His head bobs once. “I have to go.”
And this is heartbreak.
What I felt at the bar last night before he came up to me, that was child’s play. This feeling in my chest now as I’m saying goodbye to Tony, this is heartbreak.
He licks his lips, fighting against the emotions I see so clearly warring on his face. He slips a pile of neatly-folded pink fabric into my hands. “I got you some clothes from the gift shop downstairs. I'm no fashion expert but I figured you wouldn't want to do the walk of shame in your tattered wedding dress.”
I nod as I accept the clothes from him. “Thank you.” I blink down at the carpet. “You’re very thoughtful.”
He cups my cheek. "How do you feel?" he asks softly.
I lift my eyes to his. “Honestly?”
He nods.
“Like the world is ending." I try to smile but I just can’t.
His chest heaves as he breathes out. “Oh, Daisy…” He pulls me to his body and I bathe in his heat and masculinity. He holds me for a while but not long enough.
As we ease apart, I lift my eyes to his. Everything I find there is raw, genuine, real.
He doesn't want to let go, either.
Pressing my eyelids shut, I pucker my mouth against his for the last time. The breath that escapes him is rough and shuddering.
"Please don't die..." I whisper against his mouth.
He smiles soberly and presses his lips to the top of my head. "I'll try not to."
“Try really hard,” I plead.
I feel him nod against my head. “And you—don't go back to him. Okay? Find somebody who loves you. Find a guy who'll treat you right. A man who deserves you.”
My throat is tight and dry when I say, “I promise.”
He stands and walks toward the door, throwing one last glance my way. “Goodbye, Daisy.”
I whisper around a shuddering breath. “Goodbye, Antonio.”
He steps out the door. I sit there, my heart breaking.
Tears blur my vision but I can clearly see my engagement ring on the floor where he tossed it last night. It’s right next to the unopened condom wrapper.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Sophia
I didn’t hire a lawyer.
I should have. It would have been the smart thing to do. But when that bailiff showed up at my door three days ago with the sheaf of court documents, it was the bale of hay that broke this camel’s back. My mind broke. I’ve been in a fog ever since.
Archie walking away from our family is the biggest loss I’ve ever suffered. But the thought of losing River, too…I don’t know how to handle that.
I didn’t hire a lawyer. And now, as I st
and here in front of this apathetic, stern-faced judge, I finally have the good sense to start regretting that decision. Depression does fucked up things to your decision-making process. I should have jumped into action the minute I got those court documents but I was paralyzed until the very last minute, this morning when I finally picked up the phone and called Reese and Nova for help. I shouldn’t have waited so long.
The judge looks out at the courtroom over the top of his glasses. “Are the parties ready to proceed?”
My pulse is going crazy, pumping way too fast. I’m dizzy. I’m nervous.
When I glance over my shoulder, my friends smile supportively. That doesn’t do a damn thing to comfort me.
Across from me, on the other side of the room, Clara wears an expression of stone, sitting between her lame-ass son and her lawyer.
The nerve of that woman. The nerve of her!
Her lawyer clears his throat and stands. “Your honor, counsel would like to convene with the defendant before proceeding, please.”
That bastard lawyer wants to talk to me? What could we possibly have to say to each other?
The judge’s gaze moves to me and then back to the other side of the room. He heaves a sigh. His expression saying that he’s more than ready for this thing to be over. He probably has a bologna sandwich with his name written all over it.
With a frosty expression, he lifts his gavel. “The parties may convene quickly. Court will be back in session in ten minutes.” His mallet smacks loudly, echoing through the room. Then, he gets up and disappears through a back door.
As I stand, I avoid eye contact with Josh and his mother because god knows I won’t be responsible for my actions if I look at them. Their lawyer leads us all to a quiet spot around the corner at the end of the hallway out of earshot of everyone else.
The Blue Collar Bachelors Box Set: The Complete Blue Collar Bachelors Series Page 124