The Numbers Game

by Danielle Steel

  They went around and around for two hours, and when Tim finally got to his room, his head was spinning. He didn’t have the heart or energy to call Pennie as he’d promised. All he could do was send her a text that his parents wanted the six of them to meet the next day. They had insisted on it. They wanted to confront the Jacksons, and come to a reasonable decision.

  Pennie told her parents after she heard from Tim, and they agreed to meet with the Blakes at six the next day at the Jacksons’. Paul said he would leave work early to be there and Eileen was going to drop Seth and Mark off at a neighbor’s, so they could discuss the situation openly, without worrying about the twins.

  * * *

  —

  Pennie was wearing a simple pale blue cotton dress when the Blakes rang their doorbell. Tim’s parents looked dour when Eileen opened the door and they walked in. Tim came in right behind them, squeezed Pennie’s hand, and they all went into the living room together. Paul offered Tim’s parents a drink, which they refused. They didn’t consider this a social call, but rather a conference at which to state their position, and save their son from what they now considered a scheming young woman, hell-bent on destroying his life. Nothing Tim had said in the past twenty-four hours had swayed them from that position. They had known Pennie for three years but had always been uneasy about the seriousness of the relationship. It was too intense for such young people.

  All six of them sat down in the living room, looking uncomfortable. The Blakes stared at the Jacksons in silence for a minute. Paul spoke first.

  “Our children have certainly gotten themselves into a mess,” he said. Bill Blake nodded, and Eileen smiled at Barbara but got no response.

  “I think we need to make our position clear here,” Bill said. “We think it would be a disaster, a grave mistake, for them to get married at their age. They have their whole lives ahead of them. Tim is leaving for college soon and we want him to do that. Of course, we’re willing to share in any expenses related to the…uh…ah, pregnancy, and a small amount of monthly support if she keeps it.” They didn’t want the idea of her keeping the baby to be financially appealing.

  “This isn’t about money,” Paul said quickly, “it’s about their future and the life of the child they irresponsibly conceived. A child needs two parents, and I feel strongly that they should get married.” Paul made no bones about it. “They’re young, but they took this on by taking a risk, and now they have to see it through.” He glanced at Eileen and she looked away, wondering if he was going to tell them they’d gotten married because she was pregnant, but he didn’t. The chill emanating from the Blakes did not elicit confessions.

  “We will do everything to oppose it, if that’s their decision. We’ll pay for college for Tim, of course, if they don’t get married. But we intend to withdraw all financial support if they do get married,” Bill said harshly, which was the first Tim had heard of it, and he looked shocked at his father’s words.

  “Then they can live with us,” Paul said somberly, “if that’s the way you want to play it.” The two men looked at each other, like two male lions ready to attack. Tim’s mother intervened.

  “We think that Pennie should give up the baby for adoption. It’s really the best solution. Neither of them knows what they’re getting into. They’ll have other children one day with the partners they choose. Neither of them is prepared for this one. They’re children themselves. Giving the baby up is the best possible decision, for the baby too.” Eileen nodded.

  “I agree,” Eileen spoke up. “I think forcing them into marriage would be a mistake, and spoil their lives.” Pennie and Tim exchanged a look as their parents spoke, and Tim interrupted.

  “That’s not what Pennie and I want, and we won’t agree to it. I want to marry Pennie as soon as possible,” he said clearly. “It’s the right thing to do.” Paul could suddenly remember feeling that way too. He had questioned ever since if it was the right decision, and there were times when he bitterly regretted it.

  “And I won’t,” Pennie said, looking around the room at their parents. “I don’t want to ruin Tim’s life, or destroy his future. I’m going to have the baby, and live with my parents. And this isn’t about money, as Dad said. I can defer college, and get a job to pay my expenses. I don’t think putting the baby up for adoption is ‘the best solution.’ I think it’s a terrible one. I love Tim, and our baby, and I won’t do that.” There was silence in the room for a moment. Tim smiled at her. Even her own panic over her future hadn’t changed who she was, or the values she believed in. She was a responsible person, and willing to shoulder her responsibilities alone if she had to. She was adamant about not forcing Tim into marriage. “I think we should do what we were planning to do. Tim is going to China. I have a summer job. Tim will go to Stanford. And I’ll have the baby in December, and we’re not getting married.” She looked stubbornly at Tim and he frowned.

  “We can discuss it when I get back from China. I’m not leaving for Stanford unless we’re married when I do. Maybe I can get married-student housing, and Pennie and the baby could come out in January. Otherwise, I’ll transfer back here, whether she marries me or not.” He sounded definite and Paul turned to his daughter with a look of fury.

  “And you’re just going to throw your life away like that? Give up college, maybe not finish high school, and not even get married? What kind of future do you think you’re going to have that way? What do you think you’re going to do? Work as a waitress for the rest of your life? And your mother and I can’t bring up the baby for you. We have our own responsibilities.”

  “Then I’ll take care of it by myself. But I’m not going to let Tim throw his life away.”

  “But you’re willing to throw yours away? It just proves that you’re both too immature to know what you’re doing,” Paul shouted at her.

  “Which is precisely why we won’t let the marriage take place,” Bill said through clenched teeth.

  “I’m eighteen, Dad. You can’t stop me,” Tim responded.

  “No, but I can,” Pennie said softly to Tim. “You can’t make me marry you.”

  Paul rolled his eyes, stormed across the room to the bar, and poured himself a drink. While he did, Eileen spoke up.

  “I hope you all appreciate the fact that however foolish they might have been for this to happen, we have brought up two responsible, decent, upstanding, loving young people. They are fully prepared to take on their responsibilities, and stand by each other, and have deep love and compassion for each other. Tim is willing to marry Pennie, in spite of the impact it would have on his future, and Pennie is refusing to let him do that, because she loves him. I think we have a lot to be proud of, instead of just telling them what we want them to do. In the end, this is their decision. It has to be. Even if they’re young, we have no right to make that decision for them.”

  “Are you insane?” Paul said to her after taking a long swallow of his drink. “Do you want your daughter to have an illegitimate child because of a half-assed ‘noble’ decision she makes at seventeen, with stars in her eyes? Do you want her to end up even worse off than we are? We had to get married too,” he reminded her, and informed the Blakes while he addressed his wife. “You never got to pursue the career you wanted to,” he said to Eileen in a disparaging tone. “You’ve been a housewife for nearly eighteen years, bored out of your mind. And I never had the career I should have had because I had to leave Harvard Business School and take a job I’ve hated for eighteen years. That’s what they’re facing now. But they have no other choice. And Pennie making herself an uneducated social outcast out of misguided noble motives is not the answer here.” His words weren’t lost on the Blakes or his wife. They fully understood how bitter Paul was about his own forced marriage, but he wanted the same fate for Tim and Pennie. Marriage was the only solution he could see to minimize the damage if Pennie wouldn’t give the baby up. Eileen was silent
and looked stricken after he spoke. He had exposed their whole history to the Blakes.

  “That’s exactly what we don’t want for our son, or your daughter, the scenario you just described,” Bill Blake said more gently. “I hope they see sense eventually, before they do something even more foolish. And I’m very sorry Pennie has to go through this, but I think our wives are right, and if Pennie insists on having the baby, I hope she’ll be willing to give it up. Unless she’s willing to have an abortion, which they both say they don’t want at this stage, they feel it’s too late. And the doctor Pennie saw felt that way morally too.”

  “I won’t have an abortion, and if I have it, I’m keeping it,” Pennie said in a strong adult voice. She wasn’t budging an inch.

  “And if she doesn’t keep it, I will,” Tim spoke up. “She needs my consent to relinquish it for adoption. I checked, and I won’t give it. This is my child too.” Tim moved to sit next to Pennie on the couch, took her hand in his and squeezed it. “I know this is hard, but it’s our decision. You love us, and we love you too,” he said, looking at both sets of parents. “Pennie and I can think about it while I’m in China, and I hope she’ll agree to marry me when I get back. That is the best solution, as I see it. It’s an early start for us, but the right one in the circumstances.” He looked long and hard at Pennie and she shook her head. “I’ll get a job on weekends and after school, and support my own child. This is my responsibility,” he said directly to his parents. It had been Paul’s conclusion too, eighteen years before, and he still regretted it, but he believed it was the right thing to do. Paul had paid a high price for his decision, and if their dreams for their life together hadn’t come true, they still had a beautiful daughter to show for it, and their two boys. If he hadn’t married Eileen, they wouldn’t have the twins, and he loved his children.

  Tim stood up then, and looked at his parents. “I think we’ve said everything we had to say, for now.” They stood up reluctantly, but knew he was right. The Jacksons followed the Blakes to the front door, and Tim hung back for a moment and spoke to Pennie in a whisper.

  “You know I’m right. Let’s get married in August when I get back.”

  “No,” she answered in a single word, and then kissed him, and he kissed her back. “I love you. I’m not going to wreck your life. My parents are miserable,” she whispered. “They don’t admit it, but they are. I don’t want that for us.” It was obvious to all how bitter her father was.

  “We won’t be miserable, I promise. Sometimes people get married at our age and it works. We’ve had three years together, we know each other. This didn’t happen on a casual date. And we’re not your parents.” Tim didn’t like her father, but he liked her mother.

  “You’re crazy,” she said, smiling at him. “I hope the baby is a boy and looks just like you. Then I’ll have you with me forever and ever, whatever happens,” she said, with eyes full of love.

  “Maybe this was meant to be. And there are better ways to have me with you forever, like getting married. I’ll talk to you before I leave. Be careful at camp. Did the doctor say you could do that?” She hadn’t asked, but she was young and healthy and felt sure she could.

  “Just have fun on your trip,” she said.

  “So much for our plans to break up.” He smiled at her. He didn’t think she had done it on purpose, at least not consciously, but maybe they both had. Maybe this was their destiny, and their way of ensuring they had to stay together.

  Tim joined his parents outside, they were waiting in the car. A few minutes later they drove away. Bill and Barbara had politely said goodbye to Pennie’s parents, and hoped they wouldn’t wind up related to them forever. Barbara commented that Paul seemed like a bitter, angry man, and Eileen looked depressed, but they said nothing about Pennie, and Tim sat lost in thought all the way home. He was making his peace with the idea of marrying her, and having a baby. It wasn’t what he had wanted, but he loved her. It gave new meaning to his trip to China. Maybe this was going to be his last fling before he became a married man. It was an overwhelming thought, but he was willing to face it with her, if she agreed to marry him. Given the circumstances, he hoped she would, despite what his parents thought. One thing was sure, at seventeen and eighteen, overnight, their wish had come true, they were adults.

  Chapter 3

  Pennie’s parents tried to discuss the situation with her before she left for camp, and most of the time she refused. Her father wanted her to get married, and thought Tim should shoulder his responsibilities, as Paul himself had been forced to. And Tim was willing to do that. Eileen thought she should give the baby up.

  Pennie saw Tim once before he left for Beijing. Things were different now between them. Life was forcing them together, whether they married or not. For the rest of their lives, they would share a child and have a bond to each other. Tim was trying to convince her to get married as soon as he got back. For now, his plans for China and Stanford still hadn’t changed. He promised to come home and see her as often as he could during his first term at Stanford, in the last trimester of her pregnancy. And if he stayed there, he wanted her to come out with the baby and live with him. They had time to make the decision, since neither of them wanted an abortion. Pennie said she just couldn’t, after seeing the sonogram. Whether they married or not, they were going to have a baby in December. They both still found it an astounding idea. They were going to be parents themselves in less than six months.

  Pennie left for her job at camp two days after Tim left for China. He sent her occasional texts from his trip, but he had no service at all in some of the more remote areas he went to. She hoped he was having fun with his friends.

  Her job as junior counselor was more demanding and taxing than she had expected. The ten-year-old girls she was assigned to were a handful. They never left her alone even for a minute, and one of them or another always had a stomachache, a headache, a splinter, a blister, a bee sting, or a cut finger. One of the girls was suspected of having a hot appendix and was rushed to the hospital with what turned out to be indigestion from too much candy sent by her grandmother. Pennie rode horseback with them, swam with them, played tennis and badminton with them, volleyball and softball. They went rowing, kayaking, and canoeing. She accompanied them to arts and crafts, where they made presents for their parents. She had a great time, but she fell into bed exhausted every night. They had campfires and sang songs, all of which Pennie knew from her time there as a camper. They made s’mores and toasted marshmallows and told ghost stories around the campfire at night. They went on hikes and camped out under the stars. They had tugs-of-war and relay races. She helped them write letters home once a week, tucked them in at night, and taught them the words to the camp song.

  She had only seen her brothers a few times, but they were happy when she did. They thought it was funny that she was a junior counselor and teased her about it.

  In the last week of July, they had a track meet. She’d been coaching the girls all week to get their speed up for the running events. She was a fast runner herself. It was exhausting but her little group did well with her coaching. Afterwards, she took a short break and happened to be standing at the end of the dock at twilight when a girl from another cabin wandered down the dock, tripped and fell into the water, hit her head on one of the pilings, and sank like a rock. Pennie dove in without hesitating for an instant, pulled her up from the bottom where she’d sunk rapidly, and one of the male counselors who saw it happen helped Pennie pull the girl onto the dock. She was unconscious, and the counselor worked on her for a moment, got the water out of her, and brought her back to consciousness. He checked her pupils and thought that she had a concussion. They called 911 and the local paramedics came immediately. The girl was crying when they took her away in an ambulance, with the head of the camp with her. The male counselor commended Pennie for her fast reaction, and the strenuous effort getting the unconscious girl onto the dock.


  “You did all the hard work,” Pennie said, smiling at him but still shaken by the experience, and the realization of how quickly things could go wrong. If they hadn’t been there to save her, the girl would have drowned. And as she said it, she saw the counselor look at her strangely.

  “Are you okay?” he asked her. She felt a terrible pain slice through her, and when she looked down to where he was staring, she saw that her shorts were drenched in blood and it was running down her legs onto the ground where they were standing.

  “I…yes…I’m fine,” she said with a look of panic and embarrassment, and rushed back to her cabin, leaving a trail of blood. When she took her clothes off in the bathroom, there was blood everywhere. The girls had just gone to the dining hall, and a senior counselor appeared a few minutes later, sent by the male counselor she’d been talking to. It was obvious that something serious was happening to her. She was hemorrhaging, and the female counselor suspected what it was.

  “Tell me the truth, Pennie,” she said, trying to help Pennie stanch the blood with towels, which were instantly drenched dark red. “Are you pregnant?”

  “Yes,” she said in a weak voice. Between the pain and the bleeding she could hardly stand up. “Four months,” she added. The counselor helped wrap Pennie in towels and a blanket, and a moment later, drove her to the hospital after telling another counselor where they were going. It had been a strenuous day, between the track meet, running after the kids all day, and pulling the drowning girl from the bottom of the lake onto the dock.

  Pennie was in excruciating pain on the way to the hospital, and by the time they got there, she was having severe contractions and losing massive amounts of blood. There was no way to stop it, so they hooked her up with a transfusion immediately and whisked her into surgery, to deliver the dead baby. When she woke up they told her it was a boy. The doctor in charge said that she could easily have bled to death. She’d already had two more transfusions by then. She was sobbing later when she called her parents and told them. Her mother drove up to Vermont that night to be with her. Pennie was deathly white and still groggy from the anesthetic, and she cried as soon as she saw her mother.