Hugo had just asked Eileen the same question about Olivia. It was obvious that something major was happening between them. Hugo’s boyfriend was hosting the party. Their meeting there that night had been a complete accident.
“That,” Eileen said to Hugo, feeling strangely calm and liberated, “is the woman that my husband left me for.”
“Did you know her before?” He was shocked and sorry for her. They had become good friends in their classes together, and he had invited her to the party.
“I just met her here tonight. And the funny thing is that I think it’s over, and I get the feeling he doesn’t know it yet. Who was she with?”
“The son of a very important art dealer, Arnaud Muset. Jonathan buys paintings from them, so he invited him. I guess his son came instead.”
“He’s very good-looking,” Eileen commented.
“If it’s over with her, do you want your husband back?”
“No, I don’t,” she said without hesitating. “I like my life much more now, and it’s going to get even better when I start my catering business. I’m ready. I’m filing for divorce when I go home. I already emailed the lawyer, but I haven’t met him yet. I want to tell my kids before I file, and my husband.”
Jean-Pierre and Olivia left the party about an hour later. It was noisy and crowded as people continued arriving. Olivia didn’t see Eileen in the crowd again, but like Eileen, she had the feeling that they had been meant to meet each other, and it had freed both of them.
It felt good to get out in the air when they left the party. For a number of reasons, it had been an extraordinary evening, of chance meetings and new friendships.
Jean-Pierre drove Olivia back to the Ritz, and she was finally tired after a long day. He didn’t ask her about Eileen again. From the look on Olivia’s face when she met her, he had the feeling that it was a story he didn’t need to know, but she might tell him one day.
* * *
—
For the next two weeks, Olivia and Jean-Pierre spent many hours together, discussing her business, how to set it up in Paris, who to hire, what artists they wanted to feature and would work best in the French market. They spent their days and most evenings together and were remarkably comfortable with each other. She had to go back to New York, but in April, she was planning to come back again and spend a few more weeks there. But they had already laid the foundation, and they both agreed they would be open for business in France, with offices in his father’s gallery. Her lawyers were drawing up agreements between them. She was going to go back and forth to France for a while, until they were well established. And he said he’d come to New York for a few weeks, to become more involved in her New York base of operations. They wanted to add London by the end of the year.
Jean-Pierre’s business acumen and expertise in the art business added immeasurably to her original business model and broadened the scope of what she’d done so far. Their meeting had been providential, and he’d known the moment he’d read about her internet gallery that it was a business he wanted to be involved in. His father was all in favor of it too.
On her last night in Paris before she went back, Jean-Pierre asked her the question he’d been wondering about since he’d met her, but felt uncomfortable asking. He got mixed messages from her and there was always something guarded about her when he got too close. He wasn’t sure if she was cautious because they were working together, or another reason, and he wanted to know. He was incredibly drawn to her, and he couldn’t tell if what he felt would be welcome or not, but he wanted to ask so things were clear between them.
“Olivia, are you involved with someone or not? Sometimes I think you are, and at other times, I have the feeling you’re quite free.” She was just as attracted to him, but she didn’t want to act on it yet.
“I have been involved with someone for almost a year. It’s been complicated. Too complicated. And it’s over for me. I haven’t told him yet. I’m going to do that when I go back to New York, regardless of anything else.” She smiled at him. “And then I will be quite free, as you put it.”
“I know this sounds crazy, but does it have anything to do with the woman we met at the party at Castel, the night you arrived?”
She was impressed by how astute he was. “Yes, it does.” She hesitated for a minute, debating about what to tell him, and then she decided to. She didn’t want to keep secrets from him, nor tell him too much. “She’s his wife. They’re getting divorced.” He was too polite to ask her if the divorce was because of her, and he didn’t want to know. “I met her for the first time that night. She was extremely nice about it.”
“In that case, I think we have some other matters to discuss when you come back in April. I’ll wait until then.” He didn’t want to approach her too soon on a personal level, and she obviously had some things to resolve. One thing at a time. But his message was clear and so was hers. Something powerful had happened between them, and they both knew it. More than just business. And something was going to happen. All in good time. In the meantime, they had much to think about, exciting plans and a whole new dimension to look forward to, at the right time.
He kissed her chastely on both cheeks when he said goodbye to her. She was leaving in the morning for New York.
“See you in a few weeks,” he said gently, as he held her hand. “I can’t wait.”
She smiled. “Neither can I.” She waved a minute later as she disappeared into the hotel.
Chapter 12
The flight to New York from Paris seemed to take forever, longer than usual. Olivia wanted to get there now, and see Paul. They had much to talk about and she had a lot to say. They had texted frequently while she was in Paris, but she had been with Jean-Pierre most of the time. And Paul was drowning in kids.
He knew she was arriving that afternoon, and had arranged for Tina to stay with the children that night. Olivia had promised to let him know once she got to her apartment. She wasn’t sure she wanted to meet him there now.
When they finally landed, she got her luggage and had nothing to declare as she went through customs. She had arranged for a car and driver to pick her up. She went straight home and called Paul. He picked it up immediately, and had been waiting to hear from her. He sounded excited, and her heart sank a little. She wondered if she would feel differently when she saw him. She hoped not. She had been sure ever since she’d seen Eileen and talked to her. It probably never would have happened if she’d known her since the beginning. She was no longer a faceless entity. She was a person, a woman, a mother, his wife. Olivia knew that she couldn’t have gone on with it now. Her mother was right. It was a huge responsibility destroying someone’s marriage. And maybe it wasn’t too late for them after all.
“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes,” Paul said and hung up. She washed her face and combed her hair and he arrived minutes later. He was beaming when he saw her for the first time in two weeks. She looked stern, and a chill ran down his spine.
“Do you want a drink?” she asked him.
“Will I need one?” She looked as though she did.
“I have a lot to tell you.” He hadn’t kissed her yet. He wanted to. But he sensed that she was keeping her distance, and he wasn’t sure why. She couldn’t have fallen in love with someone else in two weeks, so he knew it wasn’t that.
She sat down in the living room, and he sat in a chair facing her.
“A lot has happened since I left, mostly with my business. I’ve formed an alliance with an art dealer in Paris. The man I met with here before I left. We’re going to open a Paris branch, and maybe one in London next year. I need to spend a lot of time in Paris for the next few months, probably through June, so I’m not going to be here much.” He looked disappointed as soon as she said it. “But I want to make my business grow, and this is the right way to do it.” He nodded. She left no room for argument or discussion
. She had obviously made the decision, and was telling him. “I’ll probably be gone most of the next few months.
“I made a decision when I was in Paris, or maybe before that, Paul. I don’t want a life with someone else’s children. I don’t even want my own right now. It’s too much for me. I feel too young to take that on. I hate saying this to you. But your children don’t want me, and the truth is I don’t want them either. I can’t do it. I’m not grown up enough. It terrifies me, and you don’t seem to have much room for me in your life, only them, and maybe their mother. I don’t want to be their mother.” He felt what she said like a physical blow and she could see it. This time he argued with her. He couldn’t about her business, but he could about this, or thought he could.
“You can’t give up now, Olivia. Their mother will be back next week. Once she’s back, I’m off the hook again, and we can go back to what we had between October and December.”
“Until a problem comes up, or one of them gets sick, or Pennie gets pregnant again. All we had were stolen moments last summer too, when you were out of your head about her, understandably. I would have been too, if she were my daughter. But she isn’t. I just don’t want the responsibility for someone else’s children, and the time they take out of your life, our life. They’re a full-time job, but it’s not a job I want. I didn’t have them, and I don’t want to bring them up or worry about them, or share you with them.” It was as honest as she could be. “I compete with them for your time, and your love. That’s not what I want, or who I am at this point in my life. Maybe I’m too selfish to have children. But I know I don’t want to deal with someone else’s. I’m not ready for that in my life.” He couldn’t really argue with that either. She was very sure.
“I left my wife for you, Olivia, and my family, my children,” he said. “I walked out on them for you. You can’t leave me now. It’s not fair or right. I threw it all away for you, and now you’re telling me that you don’t want my kids in your life.”
“I don’t want anyone’s kids in my life, except my own. And I’m not ready for them yet either, as I just told you. If I got pregnant, I’d have an abortion. That’s why I take the pill. And what you’re saying isn’t entirely true. You told me that your marriage was dead and had been for years, that it was over, finished, you both knew it, and you were a free man. You lied to me and yourself about it. Your marriage wasn’t over. It still isn’t. It’s not over for you or your kids. Your children want their mother back, and maybe you do too. You’ve been sleeping with me for ten months, you left your wife five months ago, and you haven’t even called a lawyer yet to file a divorce. You’re not sure, and I know it. And so do you. You risked your marriage with me, but you didn’t throw it away. You were bored and maybe you weren’t in love with her, but you haven’t thrown anything away for me.
“Now you’re up to your neck in Greenwich again. You’ve moved back in, and who knows what you’re going to do. I think you killed it for me when you moved back in three months ago. I’ve hardly seen you since. And what if you have to move back in again? You still have one foot firmly planted in your marriage. You walked out the door, but then you walked back in. I think you lost me then.”
“I had no other choice. I’ll be out again in a week or two. Can’t you wait till then before you drop-kick me out the door and give up on me?” He was pleading with her since guilt hadn’t worked. And most of what she said was true. He couldn’t argue with how she felt about it.
“I don’t even know if you’ll ever get divorced. You haven’t started it yet.”
“I will. I promise.”
“But you didn’t, and still haven’t. You could be divorced by now and you haven’t even started or seen a lawyer.”
“I went back to the house to help Eileen out, so she could go to school in Paris. I felt like I owed it to her, we both did, because I cheated on her and then I left her.”
“That’s between the two of you,” Olivia said coldly. She didn’t think it handsome of him to try and blame her.
“You were part of it,” he accused her with a mean look in his eyes.
“Yes, I was, and I shouldn’t have been. We did something wrong, and we both know it. I would never do it again. I met her in Paris,” Olivia said quietly.
“On purpose?” Paul looked horrified.
“No, by accident, at a party the night I got there.”
“What did you tell her?” He looked panicked.
“I told her I was sorry, for all of it. And I meant it. I had no right interfering in your life. I should have left you to work it out with her. Maybe you will now.”
“What did she say?”
“She was incredibly nice, and warm and gracious. She seemed fine about it, and she said it has worked out for the best. But I’m sure she cried blood until she got there. I love you, Paul. But I don’t love what we did, or what it led to, or what I’d have to do to stay in it with you. I’d have to sit around forever waiting for you to get up the guts to get divorced, and maybe forever, or maybe you’ll go back to her and break my heart. Or if I stayed, I’d have to run around driving car pool for someone else’s kids.”
“That’s her job, not yours.”
“It may not be hers anymore either if she’s starting a catering business. She won’t have time. So you’ll be running around too, which is right. You should. They’re your kids too, and she says she’s done it all for nearly twenty years. I don’t want to. I’m out of the running. I think I already was when I left for Paris. I’m going back soon. I don’t want to let this drag on. I figured it out while I was away, after I saw her. I wanted to tell you as soon as I got back. She’ll be home in a week, maybe you can still work it out with her. I’m sure she still loves you. And she seems like a lovely person. I liked her. And I felt guilty as hell as soon as I saw her and talked to her.”
“She’ll never forgive me for what we did.” He was still trying to pull her into it, which she thought was inelegant of him. He wanted to blame her, as much as himself, or more. He didn’t want to face up to what he had done, which Olivia didn’t like. It wasn’t an attractive trait and she realized now that he was weak, and a coward in some ways. At first he had blamed Eileen for the ills in his life, and now he was blaming her.
He stood up then and looked at Olivia. He could see that she meant it, and nothing was going to change her mind. It terrified him that the two women in his life had met.
“I’m sorry, Paul. Truly,” she said and stood up. They faced each other for a moment, and then he turned around and walked out of her apartment. He didn’t try to kiss her, or tell her he loved her. She didn’t know if he did, but she knew she didn’t truly love him anymore. Not enough to stay with him. She hadn’t in a while, and didn’t want to say that to him. She heard the door close softly and then he was gone.
She was sorry for an instant, and then she wasn’t. She knew she had done the right thing, for a multitude of reasons. She would have done it even if she’d never met Jean-Pierre Muset. This was about Paul and her and Eileen and no one else, and everything she had said to Paul was true for her. She was sorry she’d ever done it. She thought that they were madly in love, his marriage was dead, and they had a future, and none of those things were true. They were in lust, not in love. His marriage was still alive and breathing then and still was now. They never had a future. It was an affair with a married man, and nothing more. A mistake, and something she should not have done. Now it was over.
She felt like she could breathe again when she unpacked her suitcase. He didn’t call her or text her or tell her he was sorry. He was gone. Out of her life forever, which was what she wanted.
* * *
—
Olivia had dinner with her mother and grandmother the next day. She told them about her alliance with Jean-Pierre Muset, and her grandmother knew who his father was. Gabrielle also reminded them that she was having a
show at the MoMA in May, of recent work, and she was pleased about it.
Gwen had read a very strong script while Olivia was in Paris and was excited about it. A well-known producer was already putting the project together and she wanted the part she’d been offered. It was a powerful role she could do a lot with. So they each had an exciting new adventure ahead.
At the end of the evening, Olivia told them that she had ended it with Paul, and that she was relieved she had. Both women were pleased. She didn’t tell them about Jean-Pierre because nothing had happened yet, and maybe never would. But he was a much better choice for her than Paul had ever been. She was never going to get involved with a married man again.
Chapter 13
Eileen came home exactly as she promised she would, the day after her class ended. She was sad to leave the school and the professors, and the people she had met. She was especially sad to leave Hugo. He had become a good friend, and they promised to stay in touch.
She had earned her diploma, it had been one of the most exciting experiences of her life. She had also collected valuable information from the various chefs about how to establish her catering business. She could hardly wait to get started, and was planning to do so in the next few weeks. And she was eager to see her children, whom she hadn’t seen in five weeks.
She had sent Paul an email to let him know what day she’d arrive, and what time she would land, so he could organize his own departure from the house before she got home. She assumed he would leave when he went to work in the morning. She didn’t expect to see him when she returned, nor did she want to. She was planning to call him in the next day or two to let him know that she was filing for divorce. She was ready, and it was time. And she liked the idea of taking action herself, since he hadn’t since he left.
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