Valentine Present and Other Diabolical Liberties

by Lynda Renham

‘Do you remember when we met at the wedding,’ he smiles, his eyes twinkling.

  I nod and sip the wine. I’m already feeling a little light-headed. A croissant for breakfast and a slice of French bread are all I’ve eaten all day, and I’ve almost emptied a large glass of Chardonnay. He lights the candles on the mantelpiece.

  ‘You were wearing that lovely dress,’ he says, topping up my glass before I can stop him.

  ‘It wasn’t that lovely,’ I mumble.

  ‘I thought it was,’ he refills his glass and sits next to me. I tighten the belt of the towelling robe. Good God Harriet, he isn’t going to rape you.

  ‘I remember you saying that Alistair always thinks you look crap.’

  I smile. Well, that’s true isn’t it?

  ‘And I remember thinking how fresh and lovely you were,’ he says glancing at me over the rim of his glass. ‘I looked for you later but you had already left.’

  I swallow. The memory of my return to Marlborough Mansions with Fiona and Alistair makes me shudder. I take another gulp of wine.

  ‘Then I saw you again in the dress shop and I was so pleased. I was beginning to think I’d dreamt you up.’

  I look into his eyes which are intent on mine. I suppress a gasp at what I read on his face. It is pure desire, naked, raw, hot and pulsating and I have to lean back against the couch as the breath is knocked out of me.

  ‘When I saw you again at Glenwood, and you were telling me you were Hamilton’s girlfriend, I felt like someone had just whacked me with a cricket bat and nothing made any sense.’

  ‘Brice, I really think …’

  I sense him leaning towards me and my hand goes to his chest. I allow him to take the glass from my hand and push me back on the couch. My pulse quickens and I can’t breathe. I feel sure once his lips touch mine I shall die from the desire. He tastes delicious, his kiss hard and hot. I wrap one arm around his neck and push my other hand under his sweater. His hand searches inside my robe. I gasp as his fingers stroke my nipple. His lips ravage mine until the ache in my loins is unbearable. The kiss deepens and the scent of him drives me wild. His passion is overwhelming and threatens to take me over. The burning desire deep inside me is battling with my sensible need to be in control. As his lips travel slowly down my neck and towards my breast I reach down to feel the hardness of him. He groans beneath my touch and the need to have him inside me is too much to bear. I push against his chest.

  ‘Brice wait, please wait,’ I say, my breath shuddering.

  His lips reluctantly leave my breast and with trembling hands I pull the robe together.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he says huskily, moving away and I avert my eyes from the noticeable bulge in his jeans. As if not trusting himself he moves to the other couch.

  ‘Brice, I’m …’

  God, I can’t speak, I’m so overcome with desire. If things get any more complicated I’m likely to forget who I am. He reaches for his wine glass, his eyes avoiding mine. Neither of us speaks and all that can be heard is the rain hammering on the roof, and the crackling of the logs in the fire. He takes a deep shuddering breath. After what seems like an eternity he stands up and walks over to the Tardis cupboard. After rummaging through the contents he retrieves a shoebox.

  ‘Let’s see if anybody is on the air shall we?’ he says simply as he lifts an old looking radio from the box. I feel all my emotions tip over into anger. The bastard had a sodding CB radio in the cupboard all the time and never even mentioned it. I feel horribly deceived and go to storm into the bathroom forgetting about my injured foot. It bends under me and he is instantly at my side.

  ‘Didn’t I tell you not to put weight on that foot,’ he barks, his arms holding me. I grab the table for support and gently remove myself from his arms. The radio squeaks and crackles and a voice launches itself at us.

  ‘Blue Yonder Blue Yonder, anyone else on the air?’

  He turns back to the radio.

  ‘Scooby Doo here, is that you Hamish?’

  Scooby Doo? God give me strength.

  ‘Yes, Brice old chap, how are you?’

  ‘I’m good thanks Hamish, how are you doing?’

  ‘Same old, same old, nothing changes here in bonnie Scotland as you know. How’s that beautiful girlfriend of yours?’

  I shoot him a sharp look.

  ‘Oh, she’s gone back to South Africa, she couldn’t hack the life in Asia. Listen Hamish, I’m stuck at the boathouse with a friend. I didn’t moor the boat properly and she’s drifted off. Could you phone Angus and see if he could do us a favour and come out with his boat?’

  ‘Of course mate, no problem. We should get together for a wee dram.’

  I hobble past him to the loo and mumble.

  ‘You deceived me.’

  ‘That makes two of us then,’ he says, putting a hand over the microphone.

  I turn huffily and slam the bathroom door. What a pig, he had deliberately exposed my weakness. In that moment I hate him even more than I hate Julian.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Jack Diamond paces back and forth past the bench where his sons sit drinking cider. Mad Jack Junior rubs his hands exaggeratingly to let his father know how cold he is, but Diamond doesn’t give a shit. All he can think about is that Harriet tart and her useless boyfriend Julian. What the hell was going on? How could she drop him fifty quid short?

  ‘Can we go back to the B and B now Dad?’ asks Babyface. ‘I’m bleedin’ freezing.’

  ‘Yeah, bleedin’ taters up ‘ere in Scotland. I dunno ‘ow the buggers live ‘ere. They should get a bleedin’ medal, that’s what I think,’ adds Mad Jack, rubbing his hands together.

  ‘Yeah, well I don’t give a diddlyshit what yer think, so just shut up,’ snaps Diamond. ‘We ain’t going ‘ome yet.

  It wasn’t so much the fifty quid, it was more her bleeding attitude that had irritated him. The little wanker Julian had pissed off and now she has got a rich poncy boyfriend she couldn’t care less it seems. He takes a gulp of cider and slams the glass on the table, making both boys jump.

  ‘Right, we’re gonna stake out that ‘ouse. I reckon we can turn that over easy enough. We just ‘ave to watch their movements and go in when the time’s right.’

  Both lads stare at him with wide eyes.

  ‘But we never stake out big ‘ouses,’ protests Mad Jack.

  ‘Yeah, remember what Mum says bout alarms and stuff,’ agrees Babyface.

  ‘What does yer mum know? What are yer now, bloody mummy’s boys?’

  ‘I just want to go ‘ome and get some decent grub. That bleedin’ ‘aggis we ‘ad last night an ‘alf affected me bowels. You know me bowels ain’t good,’ groans Mad Jack. ‘I need a plate of pie and mash, decent bleeding grub.’

  ‘Bloody hell,’ mumbles Diamond.

  ‘I’ve ‘ad to take them Imodium otherwise I’d be on the bog all bleedin’ day. This bag of crisps is the first thing I’ve eaten.’

  ‘You’ll be like a bleedin’ constipated duck if you keep taking those sodding pills,’ snorts Diamond.

  ‘Yeah, I ain’t feeling so good neither. It ain’t natural eatin’ that stuff,’ says Babyface.

  ‘Will you shut the piss up before I have to run again,’ groans Mad Jack.

  ‘We ain’t going nowhere until we get something back from that ‘arriet,’ says Diamond firmly.

  ‘I reckon I bloody will be,’ moans Mad Jack holding his stomach.

  ‘She took us for idiots and we’re far from that, right?’ says Diamond, looking to them for confirmation.

  Mad Jack nods in agreement.

  ‘Yeah, she proper cut off her nose to spite ‘er face and shot ‘erself in the foot.’

  ‘What the ‘ell you talking about?’ asks Diamond.

  ‘Well it’s a saying ain’t it. She didn’t do ‘erself no favours like, so she cut off ‘er nose …’

  ‘I know that you stupid plonker, but it can’t be both can it? She can’t cut off her nose to spite her face and bleedin’ sh
oot ‘erself in the foot. It’s one or the other ain’t it? Jesus, I really can’t think yer can be me boys.’

  ‘I think we should go ‘ome and think this through,’ says Babyface quietly. ‘It’s a big ‘ouse and they’ll be security and guards and all sorts. They may ‘ave guards with guns and stuff.’

  ‘Don’t be bloody stupid. It’ll be a piece of piss, and we only have to steal a few bits to make it worthwhile. We’ll start staking out tonight. We’ll need those balaclavas from the boot.’

  Mad Jack bangs his glass on the table.

  ‘I bloody ‘ate them. They always give me a bloody rash and I’ve got enough with this stomach,’ he says farting loudly.

  ‘Jesus Christ,’ mumbles Diamond. ‘You’re a bloody girl’s blouse.’ He hits Mad Jack round the head. ‘I thought you were a man. You’ll be wearing a bloody skirt like this lot up ‘ere next.’

  Babyface laughs until Mad Jack punches him in the stomach.

  ‘Christ Mad Jack, that hurt.’

  ‘Good. See how you like having sore guts.’

  Jack Diamond sighs. Thank Christ he’s not retiring yet. The firm would not last five minutes without him.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  ‘God, what happened to your foot? It’s all black and swollen,’ says Fiona, stating the obvious as only Fiona can.

  ‘I slipped getting off the stupid boat. I had to take the bleeding stairlift to get up the stairs. I felt a right wally.’

  I’m lying on the bed feeling very sorry for myself. Just the sight of Fiona all flushed and excited, and in my riding outfit, almost has me in tears. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I don’t even cry around period time. I’m really good with the monthlies, except once when I pinned Julian against the wall with a breadknife at his throat, but I figure he probably asked for it. In fact, if he walked in the door right now I would have no hesitation in holding a knife to his throat and my period is ages away.

  ‘It’s a peculiar colour. Don’t you think you should see a doctor?’

  ‘I’ve seen a doctor,’ I say.

  ‘Oh,’ she says, sitting beside me on the bed. ‘Hamilton said he’ll be up in a minute.’

  ‘Did you have a good time?’ I ask, knowing she is bursting to tell me all about it.

  She jumps up excitedly.

  ‘God, it’s amazing riding here Harry. It’s so freeing with the mountains and the open spaces, it releases so much stress. The shooting bit was gross and I feel a bit sick just thinking about it, but the riding was fantastic. I thought the rain would never stop, and we’re having the deer for dinner.’

  ‘Fan-bloody-tastic,’ I say scornfully.

  She flops back onto the bed.

  ‘Yes, I know what you mean. But oh, being on a horse and Sebastian was so helpful. You have to admit he is pretty appealing. I’ve worn my contacts all day just so I could get a good look at him.’

  Oh my God, what’s happening here?

  ‘You do know he’s married? He is Hamilton’s father remember, and like, old enough to be your dad?’

  She tuts and twists her hair before knotting it with a hairband.

  ‘I know that but it’s common knowledge that the marriage is shaky, what with her,’ she leans forward like a conspirator, ‘little liaison.’

  ‘What, Melanie?’ I say, trying not to squeal.

  She nods, glances at the door and says quickly,

  ‘With Gregory the valet, didn’t you know? It’s common knowledge in the servant’s quarters. I feel so sorry for Seb.’

  Seb? Jesus Christ, how could all this have been going on under my nose? Maybe I’m the one who needs the glasses.

  ‘Bleeding hell Fiona, you’ve only been here a few hours,’ I mutter. ‘What about Alistair?’

  ‘Yes, well Alistair is not as nice as you might think,’ she says defensively.

  ‘I never thought he was,’ I say honestly.

  ‘And anyway, I wanted to make the most of it. When will I ever stay in a house like this again?’

  Perhaps she’d like to get engaged to Hamilton.

  ‘But Melanie and a servant, crikey, it’s like something out of Downtown Abbey.’

  ‘What do you think that migraine was all about?’ she says, dropping the contacts from her eyes.

  God almighty, everyone is at it except me, although I did come close earlier.

  ‘So has there been any news? Did the Jacks phone?’ she asks, dropping her voice to a whisper.

  I shake my head.

  ‘Shit, you’re joking?’

  ‘I kid you not. There has been nothing from them.’

  ‘God, that’s worrying.’

  ‘You had two voicemail messages from Alistair. Something along the lines of j-j-j-j-just c-c-c-calling t-t-t-t- … I kind of gave up after the third word. I didn’t really have an hour to spare.’

  ‘Don’t mock.’

  ‘He’s never nice to me so I don’t see why I should make an effort.’

  ‘Two messages, that’s even more worrying,’ she grumbles.

  Not as worrying as the state of my mind.

  ‘I’m telling Hamilton I’m leaving,’ I say, making a sudden decision.

  She almost falls off the bed.

  ‘You can’t do that, what about the grandmother?’

  ‘Yes, what about the grandmother?’ I say, struggling to get up. ‘How did she cope with the stalk? I take it she didn’t collapse or anything then?’

  ‘We had to stop for a while because she felt tired, but …’ she looks thoughtful. ‘I have to say for someone who doesn’t have long, she is doing incredibly well.’

  I nod knowingly.

  ‘Exactly, there is something very fishy going on here and I’m going to find out what it is.’

  There is a knock and Fiona ventures to open the door. But not before she has crashed into the dressing table and opened the bathroom door by mistake.

  ‘Fiona, put your glasses on,’ I snap.

  ‘Hello Hamilton,’ she says to Brice as he strolls in with a pair of crutches tucked under his arm.

  ‘It’s Brice actually,’ he smiles.

  ‘Sorry,’ she apologises, ‘no contacts.’

  ‘Oh, it’s Scooby Doo,’ I say nastily. ‘Don’t worry Fi, easy mistake, after all they are cousins and they’re both deceitful buggers,’ I add nastily.

  ‘Harriet,’ admonishes Fi.

  Brice gives me a heart-stopping smile and offers me his hand.

  ‘I brought you these. You’ll probably need them for a few days. It’s best not to put your weight on the injury.’

  I ignore his hand and pull myself up with the end of the bed. I grab a crutch, support myself and then take the other one from him, the whole time being careful not to touch any part of his body.

  ‘Are you having a party?’

  We all turn to see Hamilton in the doorway.

  ‘Harriet had a little accident on the boat, nothing serious. I brought her some crutches. I’ll see you all at dinner,’ Brice says in his matter-of-fact voice before strolling from the room.

  ‘I must get cleaned up,’ says Fiona as she stumbles into the wall.

  ‘And put some contacts in before you fall down the bleeding stairs.’

  ‘Language,’ snaps Hamilton.

  I turn angrily on him.

  ‘In the next few minutes Hamilton-bloody-Lancaster I believe you’ll hear a lot worse.’

  ‘Have you lost your mind?’ he hisses. ‘Keep your voice down.’

  He is wearing a jumper similar to the one Brice had on earlier but the effect on me is the exact opposite.

  ‘I’m leaving, and I’m telling your grandmother the truth. This is all getting out of hand,’ I say and turn to the door.

  He grabs my arm roughly.

  ‘You’re not telling Grandmother anything Harriet. Not now we’ve come this far.’

  I pull my arm out of his grasp and steady myself on the crutches.

  ‘Hamilton, this has gone further than we agreed,’ I say, strug
gling to keep my voice down. ‘At the rate we’re going I can see myself on a bleeding honeymoon with you.’

  ‘It’s only until the weekend,’ he pleads.

  If I remember it was only going to be a weekend in the first place, and that weekend has long gone.

  ‘I can’t do it Hamilton. I’m lying more and more. I really don’t see how I can get through this engagement party, I’ll have to ask my sister and my parents and …’

  ‘I’m warning you Harriet, if you pull out now you’ll have to pay back every penny.’

  Oh bugger this for a game of soldiers.

  ‘You can have it all back, every single penny of it. I’ll go back to nursing and I’ll take out a loan if I have to, but I’ll give you back everything you’ve paid me.’

  Knowing my bloody awful luck I will most likely have to borrow it from the Jacks. I don’t believe that Babyface Jack, I thought he was a nice lad. Honestly, you can’t trust anyone these days. I put my hand on the door handle and stop when he says,

  ‘I don’t think you’ll be returning to nursing because I assure you, if you go to my grandmother, I’ll make sure you never nurse again.’

  A shiver runs down my spine like a cold caress. I spin round to face him and feel my body shake.

  ‘Are you threatening me Hamilton?’

  ‘My whole family could end up penniless if I let you do this. Do you understand what I’m saying Harriet? I can’t let that happen. Don’t underestimate my power. I can see to it that you never work again and if you think anything of Fiona …’

  ‘Don’t you dare drag her into this,’ I say loudly.

  ‘Don’t raise your voice,’ he says, stepping towards me.

  ‘Fiona has got nothing to do with this,’ I hiss.

  ‘You brought her here and I’ll have no qualms telling my grandmother that she was a bit light-fingered, you know what I mean? You’re from Battersea you should know what I’m talking about.’

  I gasp.

  ‘You’re such a bastard. What’s to stop me telling your grandmother everything? I’ll tell her how you just threatened me and all because you want her money.’

  ‘I’ll tell her that she was absolutely right when she suggested you were nothing but a gold-digger. I’ll say you’ve only come to her because I’ve broken off the engagement after discovering you weren’t who you said you were, and that in fact, you work in a laundrette. I don’t think that would be very hard to prove would it?’