by Rona Halsall
The smile slipped off his face, and his eyes slid to the side. ‘Nothing.’ He downed the rest of his beer, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. ‘You don’t need to know the technicalities.’ He pointed the empty bottle at her. ‘All you need to know is I’ve done a bloody good job and the client is going to be ecstatic. And I’ll get paid.’
Sara’s heart skipped with delight, relief coursing through her body, making her legs feel weak. She swiped the last of the crumbs off the table and into her hand and walked back over to the sink to rinse out the cloth, all her chores finished. ‘Do you want me to do the invoicing for you? I know finance isn’t your thing.’
‘Nope. No need. They’re gonna pay cash.’
‘Cash?’ She frowned at him, thinking she must have heard wrong. ‘Thousands of pounds… in cash?’
He laughed. ‘Brilliant, eh? The tax man doesn’t need to know anything about it.’
‘What?’ she gasped. She’d had enough of deception; wanted the future to be thoroughly legal. ‘That’s no good. It’s got to be done properly.’
He waved the bottle in the air, his eyes telling her he was on his way to being as drunk as she’d seen him in a long while. ‘Oh, I don’t think my client would approve of that. Anyway, it’s not what we agreed. It’s been a cash deal right from the start. No records.’
‘So if the tax man asks, how are we going to explain thousands of pounds going into our account?’ To Sara, hiding money was almost as bad as stealing money, and she couldn’t countenance a second misdemeanour.
‘It’s not going into our account.’ He looked delighted with himself. ‘There’ll be nothing to explain.’
‘But you can’t—’
His face screwed into an angry snarl. ‘Don’t you tell me what I can and can’t do.’ His mood had flipped in an instant, and when he started jabbing a finger at her, she knew better than to argue. ‘I know what the deal is. And I know what I’m doing. I don’t need Mrs I’ve-got-a-business-studies-degree to lecture me, thank you very much. It’s my job and I’ll do things my way.’
He reached out to pick up the remaining bottle of beer, but miscalculated, and it fell to the floor, smashing on the tiles. Sara jumped back, beer splashing her feet and legs, watching as splinters of glass skittered in all directions, glittering against the dark tiles like stars in the night sky.
She glowered at Matt, and he glared back. ‘I didn’t do it on purpose, did I?’
‘Oh, just…’ She pressed her lips together, let her curses rattle round inside her head instead of speaking them out loud. ‘Why don’t you go to bed. I’ll sort this out.’
‘Yeah, well done, Matt, for bringing a shitload of money into the house.’ His voice mocked hers. ‘Thank you for providing for your family.’
‘It’s brilliant, love. Brilliant. I’m really pleased,’ she said in a voice that sounded as excited as if he’d just announced he’d bought a loaf of bread. She grabbed the cloth and started to wipe up the mess of glass and beer.
‘Christ, I don’t know what’s got into you recently.’ Sara looked up, realising it was a mistake as soon as she saw the accusation in his eyes. ‘You’re seeing someone else, aren’t you?’
‘I’m bloody not. I’m working my arse off to keep money coming in after you lost your job.’ She concentrated on clearing up the glass, not wanting to catch his eye in case he could see what was happening in her heart. How it was wavering, being treacherous, developing feelings that she knew were wrong.
‘It’s that James, isn’t it? That’s who you’re having it off with.’
‘I’m not. I work with him and that’s it. Don’t go accusing me of—’
‘Yeah, like you’re gonna be honest with me.’ He pointed at her, his finger swaying in the air. ‘I’m watching you.’ He stumbled backwards towards the hallway. ‘Eyes all over the place, and if I find out you’re cheating on me, then you’re gone. You hear? You’re out of this house with nothing.’
She carried on cleaning the floor, her body shaking. She’d never seen him like this before. Couldn’t believe the change in him. He was drinking more, got angry so quickly. She’d put it down to stress. Thought it was because he was trying so hard to make up for losing his job. But maybe that wasn’t it. Maybe she’d been making assumptions that were just plain wrong.
Perhaps there was a side to him that had lain dormant all these years.
His threat bounced round her head and she had to take it seriously. This weekend with James had to be the last, then she had to put more distance between them, because she could feel that her heart was betraying her, pulling her towards James and away from her husband. And her family. She couldn’t let that happen. Keeping the family together was paramount, and she’d go to hell and back to make sure her children had the security she’d always yearned for when she was growing up.
Her mind scratched away at the problem while she searched the floor for stray pieces of glass.
Her deal with James had to end. But how?
The only way was to own up to Matt. Tell him what she’d done and use some of the cash from his contract to repay her debt. She nodded to herself. That was exactly what she’d do. She’d tell James she had the money. Then she’d confess to Matt and…
She sat back against the kitchen cupboard, knees to her chest, and hung her head, exhausted and confused, appalled at how her life had spiralled out of control. How do I get back to where we were before? She didn’t have the answers, knew it was impossible. Things had fundamentally changed, and like tectonic plates shifting on the surface of the earth, her world and Matt’s no longer fitted together. They were sliding in different directions and she had no idea how to pull them back together. A tear ran down her cheek, then another. She brushed them away, determined not to give in to despair. After the troubles of her childhood, surely she could work this problem out.
As she sat in the quiet of the kitchen, nothing to hear but the clock ticking on the wall, her thoughts calmed until there were no more ripples on the surface of her mind. And then, like a fish breaking the surface of the water, a new question jumped into her head.
Is Matt’s work even legal?
Chapter Twenty-One
Sara’s hands shook with nerves as she packed her weekend bag, Matt scrutinising every little thing she put in there. They’d hardly spoken since their row the night before. Ezra had gone to stay with Hailey for the weekend, something he enjoyed doing as there was a family living next door with a little girl his age and they’d struck up an unexpected friendship. The girls were having a sleepover with Chelsea, Fiona’s daughter, so Matt had the house to himself and could focus on his work. Sara thought he’d be happy with the plan, but he’d discovered a way to find fault.
‘So you think I’m not capable of looking after my family now? Is that it?’ His arms were folded across his chest as he leant against the wall.
‘No, it’s just you were annoyed that I was going away when you had work to do, so I made arrangements to give you space to get on with things and not have to think about kids and getting meals ready.’ She walked into the bathroom to pack her toiletries, not wanting to argue about it. Whatever she did wouldn’t be right; he was in that sort of mood.
When she came back out again, he’d gone, and she heaved a sigh of relief. She wondered if he’d seen the guilt on her face, if he could sense the fluttering of her heart. Eyes all over the place. That was what he’d said, and now she was worried. Had she been seen with James when they’d been out for lunch? Lunches she’d never mentioned to her husband because she knew what he was like about her being friendly with men. It was non-negotiable, something she’d understood not long after they were married, when he’d started a massive row at a bar when he thought a man was chatting her up. Imagine if he knew she was going away with James for a weekend, even if it was just for companionship. Would she come back to find her possessions littering the front lawn, her key no longer working?
She zipped up her bag and took it downstair
s, pulse racing. She hated the deceit, of course she did, but part of her couldn’t wait to be out of the house for a couple of days. Away from the tension that crackled between them, an argument never far away. Thank goodness the kids would be having a fun weekend as well. At least that made her feel better about leaving them.
Matt wasn’t around to see her off, and she called goodbye through his office door, not surprised when he didn’t respond. ‘Stupid bad-tempered bloody idiot of a man,’ she muttered under her breath as she marched to her car.
Sara had suggested she and James should arrive separately, given her worries about Matt finding out where she was going and with whom. They were staying at the same country-house hotel near Harrogate where the networking event had been held a couple of weeks earlier; a special offer, James had said, for network members. That was why it had to be this weekend.
As she drove through the undulating Yorkshire countryside, at its finest in its May clothes – with frothy hawthorn blossom adorning the hedgerows, the grass lush and green in the evening light – her mind had some space to work at her knotted thoughts.
I’m going to have a lovely restful time, she told herself, hands gripping the wheel tightly as the radio sang to her in the background. She’d never been on a spa weekend, although Fiona raved about them and regularly treated herself to a break away to recharge, as she put it.
She pondered then about Fiona and James. An unlikely couple, she thought. Fiona was way too forceful for a gentle soul like him. She’d trample all over him, leave him wondering which way was up. Fiona’s warning echoed in her mind. Jealous. That’s definitely it, she decided. She’d have hated to be dumped. Sara let herself imagine how the conversation might have gone, the look on Fiona’s face when James told her the relationship was over. She had such an expressive face at times – able to control her daughter with a mere stare – and she would have been horrified that he’d dared do that to her. Sara laughed, then admonished herself. That’s no way to think about a friend.
As the music played and her thoughts settled, the tension in her shoulders started to ease. A massage would be heaven, she thought, and two full nights of proper sleep without a small child worming his way into the bed, keeping her awake with his wriggling. Despite all her reservations – and with Matt’s suspicions put firmly to the back of her mind – she allowed herself to imagine that she could actually enjoy her weekend.
When she arrived, James was waiting for her in the reception area, sitting on one of the leather sofas next to the water feature, reading a book. He tucked it under his arm as he stood to give her a quick hug and a peck on the cheek. Her heart flipped as his lips brushed her skin, and she wondered again about his agenda. Nervously she followed him into the lift, a sudden heat flushing through her. What if we’re sharing a room? She closed her eyes for a moment, tried to compose herself.
‘Feeling tired?’ James asked.
She blinked, watched the doors of the lift swish open. ‘It’s been a tricky week,’ she said, flinching at the touch of his hand on the small of her back as he guided her along the corridor. He stopped outside a door, reached into his pocket and pulled out a key card, which he inserted into the lock. A rush of adrenaline coursed through her and she chewed her lip, wondered if she should say something. Turn round and go home.
‘This is your room,’ he said as he opened the door, indicating that she should go in first. ‘I’m across the hall if you need me.’ Her body sagged and she had to make a conscious effort to keep her relief hidden, make it seem like she’d assumed all along they’d be having separate rooms.
She glanced around the spacious bedroom, beautifully decorated in cream and gold and bronze, with a comfy seat by the large window. She put her bag down and walked over to study the view of landscaped gardens scattered with seating areas, trees and flower borders creating private nooks for relaxation. It looked wonderful and she was itching to get out there, stretch her legs and have a wander in the fresh air.
‘Do you fancy a stroll?’ he asked as he came to stand next to her, seeming to read her mind. ‘Then we can have dinner. I’ve booked us in for eight, so we’ve got an hour or so to settle in.’
She turned and smiled at him. ‘Oh yes, I’d love to explore the gardens. They look beautiful, don’t they?’ It would give her a chance to assert herself a little, she decided, make sure he knew she’d be able to pay back the money very shortly and then their deal could come to an end.
‘We can pick a spot to sit outside tomorrow. The forecast is good, so we might as well enjoy it.’ He sounded so happy, so evidently looking forward to their weekend, she was reluctant to spoil the mood. Relax, she told herself. There’s plenty of time to talk. Her hand rested on her chest, her heart still beating far too fast. She needed to calm down first.
James was in a chatty mood, and she found herself laughing at his dry observations as they wandered round the paths, testing out each seating area until they’d chosen one they would try to claim the following day. They were just heading back inside to get changed for dinner when her phone pinged. A message from Matt. Her heart stuttered and she stopped to read it.
How are your hen girls? Send pics.
She chewed her lip, sent back a quick message.
Not arrived yet. Will send pics later.
James raised an eyebrow. ‘Problem?’
‘Um… just Matt checking I got here okay.’ She sighed and rubbed at an ache in her neck where the muscles pulled tight. ‘He wants pictures of the girls I’m supposed to be here with.’
James gave a slow shake of the head. ‘Got you on a tight leash, hasn’t he?’
Sara studied her feet, drew a pattern with her toe in the gravel. ‘We had a terrible row when I said I was coming away, and he accused me of having an affair. Said he has eyes everywhere and if he finds out I’m seeing someone else, that’s it. End of our marriage and he’ll throw me out.’ Just repeating Matt’s threat made her break out in a cold sweat.
She watched James’s feet as he moved his weight from one to the other, hands in his pockets. ‘Well, we’ll just have to make sure he doesn’t find out then, won’t we?’ She nodded, but didn’t dare look up, as then he’d see that tears weren’t far away.
Silently she carried on towards the entrance, James following, her phone still clasped in her hand. A new thought crept into her head. He’ll know where I am. Her phone would have told him her location, if he’d cared to look. Thank goodness we’re actually in a spa hotel, she thought. That was a good idea of James’s, to keep her lie close to the truth, but then he must have had practice with Fiona, given that she was a married woman. Has he been here with her? It seemed quite likely, and she wondered if she was just one of a succession of women; if James was the type who wouldn’t commit, or who got a kick out of being with other men’s wives.
She shook the thought away. We’re not having an affair, she told herself, more forcefully than should have been necessary. Work colleagues, that’s what we are. Her body tensed. What if Matt comes here to check up on me? The idea brought her out in another cold sweat. It was no good, she had to be straight with James about how she felt.
She turned to him as they waited for the lift to arrive. ‘I really don’t like this, you know. I hate all the lies.’
He didn’t answer for a moment, his eyes meeting hers. ‘It’s not too much of a lie when you think about it. The problem is your husband not liking you having friends of the opposite sex. I could be gay for all he knows.’ He gave a snort. ‘What would he think about it then?’
‘It’s not that,’ Sara protested, while the little voice in her head told her that it just might be.
James guided her into the lift. ‘I’m sure there are plenty of women here who would be happy to have their picture taken with you if you asked nicely.’
She frowned. ‘But I won’t know them.’
He gave her a quick smile. ‘And neither will Matt.’
Sara chewed her lip. He had a point. Unless Matt decided
to look on Facebook and found out that none of the faces in the picture matched that of Louise Moss. Sweat prickled her skin, a headache pounding at the base of her skull.
James gave her a sideways glance. ‘It might be an idea if you got rid of your phone, you know. Maybe stash it in your car. People can put all sorts of spyware on phones these days. Listen in to your conversations.’
Sara gulped, horrified at the idea. Matt was certainly capable of doing something like that. She looked at the phone still clasped in her hand, her heart racing as if she had hold of an unexploded bomb. She wondered if it was already too late. If Matt had heard their discussion about faking a photo.
‘I can’t leave it in the car,’ she whispered, holding the phone behind her back, pressed against her clothing in the hope that it might muffle any sound. ‘What if there’s a problem with the girls, or Ezra? I need to be reachable.’
He thought for a moment. ‘Well… just text the phone number here to anyone who needs to know. Then they can contact reception.’ He shrugged. ‘Say it’s a no-phones weekend.’
Sara was impressed and appalled at his ability to construct believable lies without a second thought. A shiver of unease ran through her.
The lift doors opened, and she scurried to her room, wanting a bit of space to think.
‘Have a look in the wardrobe,’ he called to her before she closed the door, promising to be ready in half an hour.
Relieved to be alone, she stripped off and went to take a shower, welcoming the luxurious splash of hot water, the aromatic body wash filling her nostrils with a combination of essential oils designed to calm and relax. Still her heart was pounding, her mind so full of conflicting thoughts it felt like there was a wrestling match going on in her head.
She was desperate to tell someone, get advice on what to do for the best, but she was starting to wonder who she could trust. Fiona had definitely cooled towards her and could cause trouble if she wanted to by telling Matt she’d been out with James. Even Hailey was being a bit awkward with her, although it seemed she would do anything to oblige Matt. Is everyone playing their own little games with me? Suddenly her life was balanced on a knife edge, and she knew that one wrong move could tip her into disaster.