The Substitute Sister

by Lisa Childs

  He hadn’t had to tell her that. She could feel his pain, even now, years later. And while she wanted to press for details, she didn’t want to put either of them through that.

  He went on, “I was never really attracted to Nadine in that way. I guess I just wasn’t ready to start anything with anyone.”

  “And now?” She bit her lip the minute she asked the question. Would she never learn to stop humiliating herself?

  He touched her face, running his thumb over her bottom lip. “Don’t…” he groaned. “Let me…”

  He lowered his head, then nibbled at her lips. “Sasha…”

  He sighed, leaning his forehead against hers. “I’m probably still not ready, but I can’t seem to help myself with you.”

  “Then let me help you,” she said, taking his hand in hers to tug him toward the stairs. She probably wasn’t ready either, but she couldn’t fight her feelings for him any longer.

  He followed her up the steps that just a couple nights ago someone had tried to push her down. But she wasn’t worried now, wasn’t a bit dizzy. For the first time since she’d arrived on the island, she knew what she was doing.

  Light sparkled through the stained glass windows on the landing and reflected the gold flecks in Reed’s eyes that burned with desire. For her.

  She led him down the dimly lit hall toward Nadine’s room, her room now. He had never been her sister’s lover. But even if he had been, would she have been able to fight feelings this intense?

  She doubted it.

  “Sasha, if I lie on that bed with you again, I won’t be able to stop at kisses,” he warned her, his deep voice vibrating with honor and desire.

  An irresistible combination.

  Chapter Ten

  Sasha wasn’t about to resist Reed, not anymore.

  “The house is empty,” she said. “Jerry and Mrs. Arnold have gone into town. Annie and Barbie are outside. With the way the sun’s finally shining, I think they’ll stay out for a while. Annie’s safe, isn’t—”

  He laid his finger across her lips. “My deputy will be back from lunch by now. He’s out there, too. She’s fine.”

  A breath sighed out her relief. “You’re right. No one would hurt her. They have no reason to hurt her.”

  She hadn’t inherited anything. Sasha had.

  “No one would hurt Annie,” he agreed, his gaze intent on Sasha’s face. Emotion swirled in the green depths of his eyes. Was he remembering yesterday, seeing her image on the beach, dead?

  She shivered, pushing the memory from her mind.

  “After what you said to Barbie, I think she’d defend her with her life.”

  “What did I say?” She couldn’t remember, having been distracted by Reed the minute he’d stepped through the door. All she’d been able to think about had been their kisses the day before.

  “Be careful.”

  Maybe she needed to heed her own advice. But she didn’t feel like being careful. She felt like being reckless, a little like Nadine. But Nadine was gone.

  All she had was Annie now.

  “I thought Annie might be yours. I even asked you, but you never said…”

  “You hit a sore subject,” he admitted. “I wished she was mine.”

  “You and your wife never had children?” she asked, curious about this woman he’d loved enough to marry. But she braced herself for his reply.

  He closed his eyes. “We would have. The baby would have been born about the same time Annie was, if Laurie hadn’t aborted her…or him. I never knew. She didn’t tell me that. She didn’t tell me about the abortion until it was all over.”

  He laughed, the hollow sound vibrating with bitterness. “She didn’t tell me a lot until it was too late.”

  The pain he’d suffered made Sasha’s wedding-day embarrassment insignificant. No. He wouldn’t trust again, not after what his ex-wife had put him through.

  And she couldn’t blame him. But as she’d already admitted, she couldn’t resist him, either.

  “I’m sorry, Reed.” And she would be, after she risked her heart only to have it broken again. “But I’m not Laurie.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “This,” she said, reaching up to wind her arms around his neck. Then she grazed his lips with teasing kisses.

  He swung her up, kicking the door shut before striding toward the bed. “Kisses aren’t going to be enough, Sasha, not nearly enough…”

  She reached between them, attacking the buttons on his shirt, tugging it from his shoulders. Now that she’d conquered her fears, power coursed through her, filling her with heady excitement.

  Freedom.

  And desire like she’d never tasted.

  “I want it all,” she demanded, moving her lips down his throat where his pulse beat madly. Then she pressed kisses across his chest, the muscles rippling beneath her lips. “I want you, Reed.”

  His hands, not quite steady, cupped her face, lifting her chin so that their gazes met and held. “And I want you, Sasha. Only you.”

  His words were more moving than any endearment, any declaration. She blinked hard, fighting the threat of tears from her eyes.

  But it was harder to fight the love creeping into her heart. She could make love with him, but she couldn’t let herself love him. That would only lead to heartache, and she’d already had her fill of that.

  Her breath shuddered out as her pulse raced. “Reed…” She wouldn’t say anymore. To protect herself, she had to hold in the words. But she couldn’t hold in the feelings anymore. She reached up, thread ing her fingers through his hair to guide his mouth to hers. She kissed him with the passion he’d reawakened in her and more…more desire than she’d ever felt for her ex-fiancé.

  He groaned. “Sasha, it’s been a long time for me.”

  A smile teased her lips, and she found herself teasing him. “I’ll be gentle.”

  He laughed, then kissed her hard. “I can’t promise that I’ll be.”

  “I’m not asking for any promises,” she said.

  Given their pasts, their present, it was how it had to be. No promises.

  His green eyes darkened, and a furrow formed in his brow. But he didn’t argue. Instead he kissed her again, sipping at her lips, sliding his tongue along the curve of her bottom one.

  She opened for him, welcoming him inside. But she wanted more.

  “You’re right,” she moaned. “Kisses aren’t enough.” She reached for his belt buckle, but he caught her hand.

  “You first,” he said, straddling her and easing back on his haunches. “Take off your clothes, Sasha.”

  Sadness and guilt pulled at her. The jeans and sweater weren’t hers. They were Nadine’s. But Reed had never been. Her heart lifted a little.

  She sat up, then rose to her knees. They were close on the bed, heat radiated from his bare chest. She resisted the urge to nuzzle the soft dark hair covering his muscles. Instead she pulled the sweater up and off. Then she tossed her head to knock her hair from her eyes, sending it swirling around her bare shoulders.

  He gasped. “You’re so damned beautiful. I’ve never seen anyone as beautiful.”

  She opened her mouth to scoff at his lie, but then she caught his gaze, the intensity and honesty in it. He wasn’t lying. And she’d never felt more beautiful.

  She reached for the clasp of her bra, purposefully thrusting her breasts against the lacy cups as she arched her back.

  Another groan tore from his throat. And his big hands settled on her shoulders, sliding the straps down her arms. Then the bra slid down, too, the cups falling away from her breasts.

  “So damned beautiful,” he said again. “I couldn’t sleep last night, couldn’t do anything but think of you…like this.”

  “Me, too,” she admitted. “I want you so much.”

  She slid her arms around his shoulders, crushing her breasts against his chest. His hair teased the sensitive peaks, and she arched, aching for more, aching for all he could give her.

&
nbsp; He moved his hips, and she felt the hard ridge of his erection straining against his jeans. “I want you, Sasha.”

  Easing her hand between them, she fumbled with his belt buckle again. “Then take me…”

  And he did. First he took her mouth in another bone-melting kiss. His tongue stroked in and out, teasing her with what he intended to do to her body. Then he took her breasts, first with his hands, cupping, molding, running his thumbs over the hard nipples.

  Heat pooled between her legs as her stomach quivered. His tongue moved down, over those sensitive points. Stroking, suckling…

  Coherent thought left her mind, and she stroked her hands along his muscled back, down the bulging biceps of his arms, down the arrow of hair toward the belt buckle she’d finally undone.

  Metal rasped as she pulled the zipper down. The sound echoed as he pulled down hers. Then he tugged off her jeans, taking the wisp of lace panties with them. His hands, big and hard, stroked over her naked buttocks, molding them before sliding down in sweeping caresses over her thighs. She parted them for him, for the erection springing free of the jeans he kicked off.

  He stroked a finger through the dark tangle of curls at the apex of her thighs. She writhed against the sheets as he slid one, then two fingers between her folds. Biting her lip, she tried to hold in the cry, but it burst free as she shuddered against his hand. “Reed, I need you…”

  “Kill me,” he groaned. “Just kill me. I don’t have any protection. We can’t—we shouldn’t…”

  But she’d reached down, her hand encircling his glistening flesh. “Reed…”

  Then she remembered what she’d found on an earlier search of her sister’s room. She turned her head toward the bedside table. “Open the drawer, there’s a box…”

  He reached across her, finding the condoms Nadine had kept beside her bed. His hands shook as he donned one. “Sasha…”

  She lifted her legs, wrapping them around his waist as he eased inside her. And eased some more. He was so damned big, so hard, so strong…so hot.

  When he moved, she cried out as her body convulsed around him. And he kept moving, stroking in and out. She held on, as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over her. “Reed, Reed!”

  He stiffened in her arms, crying out her name as he found his release. “Sasha, Sasha…”

  “SASHA…”

  Sasha tried to ignore the voice as she moved her cheek against Reed’s bare chest. They’d fallen asleep, her name on his lips.

  But he wasn’t calling her now.

  “Sasha…”

  A ghost called her.

  She hadn’t heard her last night. She’d thought that after finding her body, that after seeing her dead, she would stop hearing her.

  “Sasha…”

  But that was Nadine.

  Nadine calling her name.

  Why? Why could she hear her now? She knew she was dead. She’d seen her corpse, her eyes open in death, her throat slashed….

  The voice grew fainter, sounding as if she stood outside the room, in the hall. She kept calling.

  It wasn’t a dream. Sasha wasn’t sleeping. She could feel the heat of Reed’s body, clasped so tightly to hers. Naked skin sliding against naked skin. She didn’t want to leave his arms. But the voice kept calling…

  She couldn’t wake him, couldn’t admit her craziness to him. Not again. Slowly she eased from his arms, crawling out of the tangled sheets.

  Despite the urgency of the whisper, modesty stopped her from walking out the door naked. She tugged on her discarded jeans and sweater, then glanced at Reed before she followed the beckoning voice. His muscular chest rose and fell with each breath as he slept deeply, undisturbed by either her absence or Nadine’s whisper.

  He couldn’t hear her.

  Only Sasha could.

  Her heartbeat increased with the volume of the whisper. Maybe she was losing her mind, but she wasn’t concerned about that. She was concerned about whatever had compelled Nadine to reach out to her again….

  Annie.

  Breath catching in her lungs, she hurried down the hall toward the nursery. It was the little girl’s nap time. The nanny should have tucked her into her crib with the blanket Reed had given her.

  But the crib was empty, the room quiet. Not even the rocker moved in the stillness of the nursery.

  Then Nadine called out again, her husky whisper full of fear and horror. “Sasha…”

  “Tell me, Nadine. Tell me where she is,” Sasha im plored the empty space. She couldn’t see her sister, not now.

  Only on the beach yesterday.

  She hadn’t seen anything to indicate that that voice wasn’t only in her head. Wasn’t just a figment of her imagination and a product of her all-consuming guilt.

  She shouldn’t have let the nanny take Annie off alone. She should have taken her for a walk. Instead she’d been making love with Reed….

  She took a deep breath, forcing down the rising hysteria. Think, Sasha.

  Annie was fine. She was probably just in another part of the house. With that thought in mind, Sasha searched…going into rooms she’d never been in before, each one as exquisitely decorated as the next…and empty.

  The kitchen.

  The walk and the fresh air would have made them hungry. They were probably downstairs, getting a snack before dinner. Sasha rushed toward the steps, her feet hardly touching them as she descended in haste. She ran across the dining room and pushed open the door to the kitchen.

  A knife clattered to the counter as Mrs. Arnold jumped at the intrusion. “Oh, my God,” she said, clutching her chest. “What’s the matter with you?”

  “Have you seen Annie?”

  The older woman picked up the knife again, her fingers trembling against the wooden handle as she sliced the long blade through a peeled potato. “She’s with Barbie.”

  “You’ve seen them?”

  “No. If the child’s not with you, she’s with the nanny. That was the way it was with your sister. In some ways you’re like her.” Distaste twisted the older woman’s lips.

  She must have guessed where Sasha had been…and with whom. “So you haven’t seen them?”

  “I just told you—”

  “What about Jerry?”

  “I don’t know. He helped me carry the groceries from the ferry, then he went out to the gardens. You’d have to ask him. What’s wrong? It’s a beautiful spring day. I’m sure they’re outside enjoying it.”

  Instead of being inside, in a darkened bedroom.

  “I don’t know,” she admitted. “But they’ve been gone a while. Annie would be tired.”

  And a ghost had called her name.

  “She’s fine,” Mrs. Arnold assured her. “Barbie has a big mouth, but her heart is just as big. She loves that child. She’d never hurt her.”

  But what about Nadine?

  Had the resentful nanny hurt her? Had Mrs. Arnold? Sasha had to suspect them all. She couldn’t trust any of them. Maybe not even herself.

  She headed back upstairs, listening for the whisper. Sunlight spilled from the nursery across the hall carpet. She turned toward it, drawn to the light. But the nursery was just as empty, just as quiet as before.

  “Where are you, Nadine?”

  Before, she had dreaded it. Now she wanted to hear the voice again, sought it out for guidance.

  “Sasha…”

  But it wasn’t Nadine calling her name.

  A DRAFT OF COLD AIR whispered across his skin, waking Reed from a sweet dream. But dreaming of Sasha was nothing like the reality, the fire and passion of the flesh-and-blood woman. His heart rate quickened, his breath coming faster and shallower at just the thought of her.

  But he awoke alone, his reaching arms finding only empty air. “Sasha…”

  Where had she gone? Had regret pulled her from his arms? He should be feeling some himself. He had a murder to solve, but instead of finding a friend’s killer, he was making love to her sister, her twin.

  Damn. It
had been making love. His heart softened with it, but it was too damaged, too bitter to ease open and let her in. He couldn’t risk it again. And maybe that was his greatest regret.

  He glanced at his watch, groaning at the two hours he’d stolen from the day. He didn’t have time for this now. He had to make some more calls, check some more leads….

  But first he had to find Sasha and make sure she was all right. “Sasha…”

  And when he found her, sitting in the rocking chair in the empty nursery, he saw that she wasn’t all right. Bathed in sunshine, she looked celestial, like a beautiful black-haired angel. But her face was pale, her blue gaze troubled as she met his.

  “Sasha,” he called out again. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his heart aching at the sight of her anxiety.

  Had what they’d done caused her this much distress?

  “I don’t know,” she said, her voice breaking with emotion. “I have a strange feeling. Annie’s still out with the nanny, and—”

  “It’s not raining for once,” he said, squinting against the sunshine flooding the room. “I’m sure they’re still outside playing.”

  She shook her head. “I can’t explain it. But I know we’ve got to find them.”

  “Where have you looked?” he asked, because he was sure she had.

  “The house. Mrs. Arnold hasn’t seen them.”

  “They were outside. We’ll check the grounds.” He didn’t tell her exactly how much area the grounds encompassed. The estate had the most acreage on the island, some of it heavily wooded. He knew because he’d searched every inch of it for Annie’s mother’s body. Now he would search for Annie. Some of Sasha’s anxiety touched him, reaching deep inside and spurring his fear for the child’s safety.

  He did another cursory check of the house to see if they’d come inside while Sasha had been in the nursery. But Mrs. Arnold still hadn’t seen them. Confusion knitted her forehead over their urgency. She didn’t understand.

  He didn’t entirely, either, but he needed to reassure Sasha. And the only way he could do that would be to put her niece into her arms, safe and sound.

  After Mrs. Arnold’s short response, Sasha headed to ward the door. He followed, grabbing her coat from the hook at the back door. Even though the sun shone, the day had slipped into late afternoon, and a cool breeze would be blowing off the lake.