Amish Widow's Proposal

by Samantha Price

It was a dreadful ending to a dreadful day. Evelyn pulled herself to her feet and rubbed her bottom, grateful that she’d landed on her behind rather than her front. She was certain her baby was unharmed.

  Now covered in water and having dirtied her dress, she leaned over to see that there was scarcely any water left in the saucepan. Perhaps there was enough for half a cup? She poured the water into the teapot and swished it around. A few seconds later, she poured it into the cup through a strainer. There was barely half a cup of a strange-colored tea. She took her cup into the living room so she could warm herself in front of the fire.

  Evelyn sat in her wet dress and drank the tea. If she’d gone upstairs and changed into her nightdress the tea would’ve grown cold and she liked her tea hot. She wondered whether it was worth the effort to boil water on the fire for some more tea, then considered the effort required would be too great.

  Her bottom was still hurting from the hard fall but she had more urgent concerns than that. She’d try not to think about it today, but tomorrow she must figure out what to do about her sudden lack of finances. She now owned her home and her husband’s old family home. Her own house was in need of repairs, but surely her late husband’s family home would be able to be leased. Amos had claimed that he’d been doing repairs and Evelyn hoped what he’d said was true. Tomorrow she’d go there and find out exactly what state it was in.

  She sat in her wet dress and looked around the living room. The paint was peeling off the top of the walls and there was a crack between two walls. She’d been watching it grow larger over the past year. The chimney hadn’t been cleaned out for years—it was okay now, but given the choice Evelyn would’ve preferred to stop problems before they started. The last thing she wanted was a chimney fire like the Fishers’ had last winter.

  Even though she was trying her best to put things out of her mind until the next day, she could barely stop her mind from continuing to form the list of all the things that needed to be done. The most important thing was to get the gas stove working. She’d give it a day to dry out and try to light it again tomorrow. She took a third mouthful of tea, which was lukewarm. If she weren’t so tired she could’ve put a pot on the fire to boil for a decent cup of hot tea. Normally she would’ve taken the cup back to the kitchen and washed it and put it away, but who cared about being tidy and clean right now? Certainly not Evelyn! After she placed the cup on the low table in the living room, she walked upstairs to change into her nightgown. Once she was changed she peeped into Martha’s room to see that she was sleeping soundly. Evelyn crept close to her bed and pulled the quilt over Martha’s shoulder. “Gut nacht, my sweet boppli.”

  She walked down the staircase, stepping carefully on the bottom two steps that sorely needed attention, and headed back to the kitchen. One thing that would make her feel worse in the morning was seeing a mess. She grabbed the mop and cleaned the floor, leaving a dry track so she could fetch that cup from the living room. Once she’d done that and washed the cup, she mopped the rest of the kitchen floor.

  Once the place was tidy, she checked to see how the fire was going. One more log and it’ll burn most of the night. She picked up another log, careful to hold it in a way that she wouldn’t get a splinter in her finger. From the log jumped a large spider. Evelyn threw the log, screamed and headed for the couch. Once she was on the couch, she drew her legs up under her. Her one big fear was spiders, and now there was one in her house. The worst thing was that she didn’t see where it went. She was grateful that Martha was a sound sleeper—once she was asleep almost nothing would wake her.

  “I can’t go on like this, Gott!” It hit her that there was no Amos to locate the spider and no Amos to get the gas working again. There was no Amos to split more wood once the wood in the box ran out. Even though Evelyn had thought him useless when he’d been alive, now she was beginning to realize how hard things were going to be without him.

  Chapter 3

  This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth;

  but thou shalt meditate therein day and night,

  that thou mayest observe to do according to all

  that is written therein:

  for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous,

  and then thou shalt have good success.

  Joshua 1:8

  * * *

  Evelyn woke early, and relit the fire before Martha woke. She made a cooking area in the fire, just like she’d seen in her grossmammi’s house when she’d been a young girl. By the time she heard Martha’s call, she’d already collected the eggs and had warm milk and porridge waiting. Most mornings Martha and Evelyn collected the eggs together.

  After Evelyn had washed and dressed Martha, Martha sat at the low children’s table to eat her breakfast.

  “Dat coming today?”

  “Nee!” Realizing she’d snapped at Martha, she leaned down close to her. “Dat is not ever coming back here because he doesn’t live here anymore. Dat is gone—he’s dead.” Up until now, Evelyn had avoided using the word ‘dead,’ Evelyn hoped Martha might associate the dead animals she’d seen with the way her father was.

  “Is he at Grossdaddi’s haus?”

  Evelyn stood up and sighed. Martha had never mentioned her father as much as she had over the past few days; she knew something was amiss where her father was concerned. “Nee, he’s not there. He’s with Gott and won’t be coming back here to the haus. Now no more talk; eat up.”

  Walking over to the window, Evelyn’s thoughts returned to the spider that had jumped at her the night before. She’d thought of little else that night while she was trying to sleep. Everything had felt like the spider was crawling on her—the prayer kapp strings as she was taking her kapp off—the edge of the sheet when she turned over—her hair when it brushed over her face during the night. It had been another sleepless night in a long string of them since Amos’ death. Hopefully the spider had found its way outside, since there were enough cracks in the wall and spaces between the floorboards.

  “Finish, Mamm.”

  “Already?” Evelyn turned to see Martha holding up her empty dish in one small hand. “Don’t …” It was too late! The bowl had slipped out of Martha’s hand and was on the floor in several pieces.

  Martha looked at the mess on the floor and burst into tears.

  “Don’t cry; it was an accident. Stay there while I clean it up. Don’t move.”

  Martha stayed in the chair while Evelyn fetched a bucket from outside the back door. As soon as she collected the pieces, she heard a buggy coming toward the house.

  “We have visitors.” Evelyn placed the bucket on the floor and held out her hand to Martha. Together they walked to the front door and opened it.

  Martha had hoped it would be Sally or one of her other sisters; she wasn’t so pleased when she saw it was Hezekiah.

  “It’s Mr. Hostetler,” she said firmly to Martha hoping to prevent her daughter from calling him ‘Dat.’

  “Mister Hostetter,” Martha repeated trying to say his name.

  Holding firmly onto Martha’s hand, Evelyn approached the buggy as soon as the horse came to a halt. “Hello,” she said brightly trying to hide how she truly felt.

  “Hello, Evelyn, and Martha.”

  “Hello, Dat,” Martha said in a small voice that could barely be heard.

  “It’s not Dat,” Evelyn hissed at her daughter before she looked up at Hezekiah hoping she wouldn’t have to invite him inside the house. The only person who’d been in the house over the past years—besides her sisters and their families—was the midwife, Dana.

  “It occurred to me that I should see if you have enough firewood. It was a cold night last night.”

  “Denke, that’s so kind of you, but we’re fine.”

  “You are?” He stared at her as if he knew she wasn’t telling the truth.

  She nodded. How could she tell him that she needed firewood chopped but didn’t want to be indebted to anyone except maybe one of her brother-in-laws.

>   Then she noticed that he’d shaved his beard. She nearly choked. That meant he was looking for a wife, since all Amish men grow their beards when they get married. This was not good. The last thing she needed was a man who was far too old for her being interested in her.

  “Is there anything else you need?”

  Jah. She desperately wanted someone to go inside and find the spider to take it outside, but if she asked him in, he’d see the state of the house. If he saw how much there was to do around the house he might never leave. Evelyn giggled nervously. “You know how many bruder-in-laws I’ve got. They come and do things for me all the time—I mean, they have for the past few days since…”

  “I see. I was passing by and I thought I should offer you my help.” He looked down at Martha and ruffled her hair, which caused Martha to giggle. “I’d like to talk to you about something important, Evelyn, and I’m not certain it’s for the ears of a child.”

  “Oh. I’ll sit Martha on the couch and we can talk on the porch.”

  He nodded. In her heart, Evelyn hoped he wasn’t going to propose. Since he’d shaved his beard off it was a possibility. After she placed Martha on the couch she gave her a doll to play with. “You sit there and be a gut girl. Mr. Hostetler and I are going to sit on the porch and talk.”

  “I come too.”

  “Nee. You sit there. We’re having adults’ talk. I can see you from the porch so don’t move off this couch or you’ll get into trouble. I’ll be back very soon.”

  “Okay, Mamm.”

  Evelyn left her daughter in the living room and when she was on the porch, she looked through the window to make sure that Martha was still seated.

  She sat on the seat next to Hezekiah.

  “I’ll get right to the heart of the matter. You and I have both lost our spouses so I thought we might join our households and kinner to become one familye.”

  “You’re asking me to marry you?”

  “Jah. Do you think you could ever be interested in a man like me?”

  She couldn’t look at him. One loveless marriage in one lifetime had been enough, so why would she want another?

  He added, “I know you might think it too soon to make such a decision, but I wanted to make it known that these are the feelings in my heart. It could save you problems in the future.”

  Problems in the future? I’ve enough of those in the present. Evelyn took a deep breath, then stood up to look through the window to make sure Martha had stayed put. She hadn’t. Martha had climbed off the couch and was sitting on the floor. Evelyn knocked loudly on the window and when Martha looked up, Evelyn pointed at her; Martha promptly got back on the couch.

  “I won’t keep you. I’m sure you’ve got many things to do with looking after the little one and the next one coming along soon.”

  Evelyn felt her cheeks warm at the mention of her pregnancy. It wasn’t the usual thing to discuss pregnancy with men.

  “I think you should consider my offer. Your life will be a lot easier if you have a husband. It’s not good that a woman should be on her own with no man to take care of her.”

  From the past few days she’d had, Evelyn knew that what he said was true. How good it would be to have a man to care for her, but why couldn’t it be a man her heart desired? Rather than tell him it was out of the question, and tell him all the reasons why, she said, “It’s far too soon to even consider such a thing.”

  “Soon it won’t be easy for you on your own.”

  Soon? It’s already too hard on my own. She nodded and looked down. “Where are your kinner today?”

  “My schweschder minds them while I’m working; I’m on my way there now.” He stood. “Denke for hearing what I had to say.”

  “Denke for asking.”

  “The offer is there, Evelyn.”

  She stood up too, and after a quick glance through the window at her daughter, she nodded to him.

  “Even if you don’t accept my offer, I’m happy to help out where and when needed.”

  “Denke.” She appreciated his offer, but would not take him up on it.

  Relief swept through her when Hezekiah left her house.

  When she walked inside she heard her daughter say, “Has Dat gone?”

  Not knowing whether she meant Hezekiah or her real father, she nodded, too weary to want to know. “Dat has gone. Now, we’re going to visit Grossdaddi’s haus.”

  “See grossdaddi?”

  “Nee.” It was no use: it was back to explaining. “Grossdaddi and Dat have gone to be with Gott and they’re not coming back. They’re both living in Gott’s haus now.” Amos’ father had died only six months before he had.

  Her daughter’s eyes grew wider.

  “We’re going to see how the haus looks, and hopefully, it will be in gut order so we can lease it out. If we can, then we’ll have money to buy food. Otherwise, we’ll have no money for food.” Evelyn knew Martha was too young to fully understand what she was saying.

  “Okay, Mamm.”

  Her late father-in-law’s house was walking distance away, but too far to walk with a small child.

  She loaded Martha in the back of the buggy and led the horse out of the stall. Glancing down at the dirty stall, she knew that later that day she’d have to clean it out—another job that Amos wasn’t there to do anymore. It was tiring for a woman in her condition to hitch the buggy, but it was a job that had to be done unless she wanted to remain at home or be dependent upon others.

  Once she pulled up outside the old house, she got Martha out and held her hand. She stared at the house pleased that it was clean and tidy on the outside. There wasn’t a garden, but the lawn was weed-free and looked well cared for apart from needing mowing.

  “Let’s have a look inside, Martha.”

  “Okay, Mamm.”

  After Evelyn located the key that had been placed under a mat on the porch, she unlocked the door. A stale-damp smell immediately met her nostrils. “We need to open some windows. This smells horrible.”

  Before she took two steps into the house it was evident that it was in even worse repair than the one she lived in. A quick glance at the ceiling located the source of the stench. There were dark mold-filled drip marks down the walls. The roof was leaking.

  Next, she stepped into the kitchen to see that there was a small wood-burning stove and many of the cupboard doors were missing. “How did your vadder live like this?” she murmured to Martha without thinking. Amos couldn’t have been doing work to the haus unless he was doing it upstairs where the bedrooms were.

  “Let’s have a look upstairs.” She took a firm hold of Martha’s hand and headed to the staircase. When the first step felt as though it would collapse underfoot, she decided against going up the stairs.

  She took another look around. “What happened to all the furniture?” she asked out loud. Her daughter stared up at her. There was only one chair and nothing else in the living room, and only two chairs to the dining room table. “I won’t even try sitting in one of those chairs. Looks like I’ll need to sell your vadder’s buggy horse.”

  Mark was keeping Amos’ buggy and horse at his property.

  “Let’s go and visit Onkel Mark and Aunt Sally.”

  “Jah!” Martha was always pleased to visit so she could play with Daniel and David.

  Chapter 4

  Commit thy works unto the Lord,

  and thy thoughts shall be established.

  Proverbs 16:3

  * * *

  When she pulled up at her sister’s place a little further along the same road, she saw Mark with another man in a distant paddock.

  Sally came out of the house to greet her. As soon as Martha was lifted out of the buggy, she asked Sally where the boys, her cousins, were. Martha wasn’t too happy to hear they were in school.

  Evelyn and Martha walked with Sally back into the house.

  “I’ve just been over to look at William’s old haus.”

  “You shouldn’t keep calling it Willia
m’s house, it’s yours now.”

  “I know, but in my mind it’s still my vadder-in-law’s haus.”

  “Anyway, what was the state of it?”

  “Like I thought—dreadful. I told you I thought it would be.”

  Sally shook her head. “Come into the kitchen and I’ll make you a nice cup of tea.”

  Making tea reminded Evelyn about her stove that wasn’t working. Maybe it would work later today once the water dried out. She was reluctant to mention that things needed to be done around her house.

  Sally leaned down to talk to Martha. “Why don’t I gather you some toys to play with while your mamm and I talk?”

  Martha nodded.

  Sally spread out a blanket on the floor of the kitchen, and placed toys on top. “There you are, Martha, you can sit there and play until they come home.”

  “Denke,” Martha said as she sat on the blanket.

  A noise at the doorway of the house prompted Sally to say, “I forgot to tell you we’ve got a visitor.”

  Evelyn recalled the man she’d just seen in the fields with Mark, but before any more could be said, two men stood at the kitchen door. Evelyn turned to see Mark and a tall stranger. He was a handsome man with strong broad shoulders, tan skin, blue eyes and dusty blonde hair. Evelyn’s eyes locked onto his, causing her tummy to flutter.

  Martha ran to Mark and wrapped her arms around his leg.

  “Hello, Martha,” Mark said.

  “Play with me?”

  He laughed. “I might have time to play with you later. I’ve got work to do and I’ve got a friend visiting. This is Mr. Esh.”

  “Hello, Mr. Esh.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Martha.”

  She gave a little giggle.

  “Look at all those toys, are they yours?” the stranger asked Martha.

  “Nee; the cousins’ toys.”

  “You go back and play now and then we can go outside later, okay?” Her Uncle Mark suggested.

  “Okay.” Martha ran back to the blanket.