“Do you need anything?” Rhea’s voice breaks my concentration and I snap out of my musing to see that I’m staring blankly ahead at her and Rosa, standing at the door of what will be my bedroom. Her blue-grey eyes sneak down to my hand rubbing at my leg and I curse myself silently, moving it away quickly to brush it through my hair and rest on the back of my neck. I know she’s just concerned, but I’m just not use to it yet.
I shake my head, “No I’m fine,” I lie, shifting the pant leg of my shorts to try and hide the suspension sleeve again, but it’s pointless. I can still see her looking at me out of the corner of my eye and I turn to try and give her a sweet smile. Seeing hers in return, I nod my head, silently telling her that I’m okay and she returns to her conversation with Rosa, both with a child on their hip.
Rhea’s short stature and caring attitude make me think of Ellie and my chest starts to hurt for another reason. I wonder if they told her I’d be moving in today. I should have called her and told her I’d be here, but I didn’t. I had wanted to, grabbing my cell and bringing her info up on the screen probably thirty times. Each time I closed it out, not pushing the ‘call’ button, not hearing her voice or telling her what had happened and kicking myself in the ass later on for being so weak. I don’t want her to see me like this with my cane and having to sit after only a little bit of physical activity.
“You know Timmons,” Reno smiles, pulling the chair out beside me and plopping down into it with a thud while slapping his hand on my back, “you have too much clothing.” He laughs joined by Chad who straddles the chair to my right handing me a bottle of water. “I think you and Rosa should go in competition and see who has more shirts, because I think you might win.”
“Hey,” I smile and can’t help but join in on their laughter, “you can never have too many shirts. You never know when you’ll need a casual or dressy one.” They laugh even harder at me, their faces turning red and I go along. It feels good to laugh, to let it out. As Rhea and Rosa join us with the babies, I’ve laughed so hard that my chest hurts in a good way. It’s awesome.
The group of us settles into comfortable, normal conversation as Rhea and Rosa work on dinner. The three of us shift the kids between us and it’s almost as if this is home. I start to feel a family feeling again, I don’t feel alone. I know that this is going to be a long road. I’m hoping that dark feeling doesn’t make it an impossible road.
Helping Chad set the table, my head snaps towards the front door as it swings open, banging against the wall behind it. “I am so sorry Ray-Ray,” Ellie’s sweet voice rings out and my chest tightens immediately. I set the final plate down on its mat, turning my body towards the door and taking a deep breath. It is now or never.
With my cane gripped tightly, I make my way around the table to see Ellie stop short as her eyes meet mine. “Hello sweetheart,” I say with a smile, hoping it’ll make the reality of the situation slide down easier. Leaning on my cane trying to support my tired leg I see the tears well up in her eyes and hope against all hope that they are tears of happiness and not rejection.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ellie
“Hello sweetheart,” his words ring through my head as I try and comprehend that he’s standing here in my cousins’ dining room. I wasn’t expecting him to be here, I was just coming for dinner, but here he is.
His tall frame, built and toned, with the freckles dotting his handsome face framing his hazel eyes that are working me over, making me blush. No one else says anything as Bobby and I just look at each other, the tears trying to spill over in my eyes as my chest tries to get air into my lungs, heaving in and out.
“Bobby?” is all I can say, my voice squeaky and shaky. I almost feel like turning and running, the tightness in my chest spreading out through my arms and legs making me feel weak, but I stand my ground.
He gives me a small smirk of a smile and it lightens the weight on my heart the tiniest bit. Taking a breath, I realize I was holding it before and I take in as much air as I can, noticing the cane he’s leaning on. It confuses me and I move my gaze from the cane to his legs and have to put my hand over my mouth to stop the insulting gasp from escaping.
He lost his leg.
“Oh my God Bobby,” I whisper, seeing the hurt run across his features as he turns and sits in one of the kitchen chairs. I don’t know what to say, I just stand there not moving.
Rhea’s approaching figure draws my attention from Bobby and she pulls me to the side, out of sight of the kitchen. Her warm hands shake the unease in the surprise presence of Bobby from my body and the tears that had been at bay flow freely down my cheeks. Not for me, but for Bobby.
“Don’t do that,” she chides in a whisper, her fingers gripping into my arm. Looking into her familiar blue-grey eyes I see her brows knit together. “He’s having a hard time. Don’t act like this in front of him. He needs you to be a source of strength for him.” She repeats the words I remember hearing her tell me once before.
The advice Rosa gave her about Chad’s deployment. Stay strong. Don’t waver. Be their pillar of hope.
“How come you didn’t tell me,” I whisper back, defending my reaction as I hear the voices in the kitchen pick up a casual conversation about sports. I would have reacted totally different if I had at least had a warning or a little inkling as to what his injury was. Chad and Rhea hadn’t told me anything, so I had no idea that it was as major as him losing his leg, or part of his leg.
“He wanted to tell you,” Rhea sighs, leaning her head on my shoulder and hugging me tight to her. “Just let him talk when he’s ready okay Ell?”
There are so many questions floating through my head right now that I want to ask him. How? When? Where? Can I just leave it alone and let him tell me when he’s ready?
Taking in a deep breath I let it out slowly, knowing that I can. “Okay Rhea,” I whisper, hugging her back and kissing her cheek.
Turning back towards the kitchen with her hand in mine, I keep my eyes on the floor not wanting to catch myself staring at Bobby’s leg again and make him nervous or self-conscious. He’s facing the others at the table, his back to me and I slowly make my way over, taking a pitcher of tea from Rosa as she smiles sweetly. I turn towards Chad and Reno, setting the pitcher down in the middle of the table.
Sitting next to Bobby, I have no idea what to say. I can feel his eyes flit to me every so often, but I don’t know where to start. I’m afraid I’ll say something stupid, putting my foot in my mouth and embarrassing him or myself.
“How have you been sweetheart,” his smooth voice finds me as Chad and Reno chat away about spring turkey season and fishing. I turn my face towards him and see his hazel eyes on me; pulling me in and making me feel as if we’re the only ones here.
It’s strange how he has such an effect on me, but I like it. With his elbows on the edge of the table and his chin rested in his hands, he’s gazing at me as if I’m something important and everyone else can just disappear and he’d be okay with that.
“I’ve been good,” I whisper with a smile, feeling the rush of heat over my skin and kicking myself for the girlish reaction to his attention. “I’ve missed you,” I say all of a sudden, shocking myself and my eyes go wide seeing Bobby’s do the same, his eyebrow raising and a smirk coming to those sexy lips. I just opened a can of worms and I can’t help but giggle to myself.
He doesn’t bring it up all throughout dinner as we all talk over other topics, laughing and joking as the two babies coo and make a mess of themselves with their applesauce. Saying goodnight to Reno and Rosa along with Marisol, Chad and Rhea disappear upstairs to bathe Charlie and put him to bed, giving Bobby and me a stolen moment alone. Turning out of the bathroom, I see him standing at the sliding door looking out on the back yard and seeming sad with his cane propped up against the glass.
It breaks my heart seeing the solemn look on his face, a face that normally would be smiling and laughing. I can hear him sigh heavily as I approach, his hurt filteri
ng through me and bringing my hidden pains to the surface.
‘You’re a baby killer. You’re a whore’ Jake’s voice breaks through, making me remember who I never want to be again. My hands clench together out of anger at myself for thinking about Jake at a time like this. Trying to shake it off, I take in Bobby’s figure once more trying to sort out what I’m about to say.
“I have scars too Bobby,” I whisper as he turns around slowly and I step up to only be a breath away from him. Tears are threatening to leak out again as I look up at those handsome hazel eyes that are so full of pain. His chest is heaving and I can almost feel the turmoil rolling off of him. I can only think I know how he feels until he talks to me about it, but I can bet he feels incomplete. Almost as if he’s broken in body and soul. Lightly putting my hands on his chest I feel his muscles tense under his t-shirt.
“I don’t want to hold you back Ellie,” he mumbles still not meeting my gaze. He’s looking everywhere but at me so I take a step into him being careful not to bump his leg. “I’m not the same man that I once was.”
“I would never expect you to be,” I almost sob, my pent up feelings for this man boiling to the surface as his presence sinks in and he finally looks at me, a crease forming in his brow.
Reaching up, I run my fingers tenderly over his eyebrows trying to soothe the worry. I run my hand up his chest, stopping to rub my thumb along his jaw and resting my fingers at the back of his neck gently massaging the spot I know he likes. I relax when I feel his arm snake around my waist, pulling me to him. “The way you make me feel hasn’t changed. I still want to see you.”
“Are you sure?” he whispers against my hair, resting his chin on my head as I breathe him in, feeling safe as his familiar scent surrounds me. It is strange how just the scent of his cologne can make me feel so much better, but it does and I rest my nose on his chest loving the warmth that comes off of him.
“I’m sure,” I smile into his shirt, wrapping my other arm around his neck as I go up on my tip-toes. “Now just hold me,” I beg with my lips against his cheek. I can’t help but let a few tears slip out as he pulls me in tighter wrapping both arms around my waist.
I can’t tell you how long we stood there, wrapped up in each other while saying nothing. I’m just listening to his breathing and the sound of his lips as he kisses my hair and forehead every now and then.
His arms tighten around my waist, lifting me off the floor and I squeal, “What are you doin’?”
“Carrying you off to cuddle with me,” he grins as I angle my head back to see his face.
I almost protest that he shouldn’t be carrying me, but as he takes us the short distance into the spare bedroom, I keep my mouth shut letting him set me on the edge of the bed. I watch him as he quietly shuts the door, turning back to me with a sly smile he leans his cane against the bedside table and plops down on the bed, throwing his hands behind his head propping himself up.
I give him a skeptical look and he throws his arms up. “Just cuddling,” he makes an X motion over his heart, “I swear.”
Rolling my eyes I sigh dramatically, joining in as he laughs. Kicking off my worn out Converse, I scoot back, leaning against the headboard next to him. I try not to look at his leg, but I can’t help it and I can see him watching me.
“You wanna know how it happened?” he asks.
“Only if you wanna tell me,” I say honestly, not wanting him to feel as if I’m pushing him to tell me. Leaning my head on his shoulder, I smile as his arm snakes behind my neck pulling me in closer as he sighs. As he starts to talk quietly my hand rests on his abdomen, twirling into the material and twisting it back and forth.
Listening to the story of his injury, I sink further into his chest and his embrace, eventually slinging my leg over his waist as we both sink down onto the pillows. It felt good to be in his arms and as he talked away, I couldn’t help but let some tears fall.
He is a hero, saving Uclid and those Marines from injury and I don’t think he realizes it. I try not to let him see that I’m crying, but the tears drip down onto his shirt and I can feel his arm tighten around me.
He yawns loudly and I giggle, leaning my chin on his chest and smiling at him. “You want me to get goin’?” His reaction makes me laugh even harder as he snaps his chin down, giving me the most ridiculous look as if I’m crazy or that I have three heads.
“No way sweetheart,” he smiles, pulling me in even tighter, “you’re not going anywhere.” I sigh and settle into his chest hearing him mumble in agreement.
I’m glad Bobby shocked me with his presence tonight. He is finally here and he is holding me. He’s on his way to being healthy. It feels like everything might be okay for once. It’s a nice feeling.
CHAPTER SEVEN:
Bobby
May 1, 2013
The air is hot and thick around me as I shift and adjust my flack, keeping my eye through the scope of my rifle, focused on the building in front of my position. I can see my team mates glowing in green as they creep silently around the corner of the building in a tight snake pattern, their hands on one another’s shoulders.
“Timmons,” French’s voice comes over the radio and I acknowledge him with an ‘All clear’.
I can see him wave Black, Benson, Talbot and the others into the building and I focus back in on the top row of windows just waiting for movement to catch my eye. Elliot Uclid shifts slightly beside me in his normal spotter position and I spare him a split second look.
“What’s your issue?” I whisper, watching as my teammate’s lights ascend the stairs within the building and they chatter over the radio saying how all the rooms are empty so far. Maybe this mission is a dud. Faulty intelligence and timing could have screwed us over on this one, leaving us out here in the sweltering desert for nothing.
“I’m still chafed at being yelled at ‘cuz of your dumb ass,” Elliot retorts in a harsh whisper. Ah, so this is why he’s been silent instead of his yammering self. Just because the LT sat us down a couple of days ago and reamed us out because of our low range score and crappy performance on training in the last couple of weeks.
It was mostly my fault in bringing Uclid down with me. I have been lost in day dreams about Ellie and being back in the States taking her on dates and long walks. Yes; I was dreaming of going on walks with her, but hell, who wouldn’t with a little hottie like her? She is gorgeous in every way. Funny, smart and great to be around. Just the thought of her laugh makes a smile break out across my face.
“SEE,” Uclid snaps, elbowing me in the shoulder lightly and bringing me back to reality. “You’re doing it right fucking now.” He is right and shaking my head to try and clear my thoughts, I focus my eyes back on the building and the lights still ascending floor by floor.
Giving him a grumble of a reply my nerves go on full alert when a bright flash of light and loud crack fill the silent night air, originating from the building we are watching. My breath catches in my chest and both Elliot and I are up on our feet, racing down the flights of stairs keeping our guns up at the ready. Calling for French, Black or anybody I’m frantically yelling into the radio, requesting a QRT, or Quick Response Team, to respond to our location. As Elliot and I enter the still smoke filled building I finally breathe as I hear Black’s familiar voice come through loud and clear.
“We’re all okay,” he says and I’m more than rejoiced. I wouldn’t be able to deal if my Team had gone down while I was day dreaming. This is why I can’t do it. I have to get a grip and climbing the stairs with Uclid watching my six, I’m just kicking myself. I can see their rifle mounted flashlights flickering around the room as I round the corner and I am happy to see them all on their feet.
“What the fuck happened?” French yells, obviously suffering from temporary hearing loss due to the loud explosion. They are all covered in thick dust and I can tell they are trying to regain their bearings. Moving past Benson on the point, I move up into the next stairwell checking for insurgents.
&n
bsp; A loud yell from my best friend, my spotter, Elliot Uclid, stops me in my tracks; mixing with the sound of something bouncing down the stairs. Something that is metallic to be exact.
Isn’t it funny how some sounds or smells you never forget. Like the smell of freshly mowed hay, or wet earth after a rain. But no, this is a sound I wish I had never heard and hope to never hear again. Looking down at my feet I see the round orb sitting content between my boots, seemingly starring up at me and laughing.
The bright explosion and heat fill the air around me and it seems to fill my very soul as I take a sharp breath in, shocking myself awake with my eyes locked on the ceiling fan of the spare bedroom in Chad and Rhea’s home. I’m drenched in sweat, breathing heavily and as I shift I feel a weight resting on my left arm. Snatching my arm out from under it quickly while wrapping my other arm over it to defend myself I have to stifle a gasp as I see Ellie’s petite figure replacing that of what I thought was an enemy.
Her short dark hair is falling across the pillow and her lashes are fluttering ever so slightly against her cheeks as I stay my movements, hoping against all hope that she’ll stay asleep and not be awoken by my rash fear filled action.
Sitting up, tight pains shoot up through my left leg causing me to grit my teeth silently as I’m keeping my eyes on Ellie’s sleeping form. She shifts, mumbling something as I take my arm from around her waist slide slowly out from under the sheets. I make a beeline for the door, leaving my cane behind.
I don’t need the God damn cane. I want to feel the pain and make my awake state real in my mind because I don’t want to relive the nightmare.
The living room is dark and silent as I wobble my way to the large window and pull back the curtains to stare up at the full moon. I can’t seem to get my breathing under control and as the rage and fear rip through my every fiber my teeth grind together along with my fists clenching and unclenching in rapid succession. I don’t want to feel like this, like the whole world is crushing down on me and I reach for my sweatshirt resting on the back of the couch, pulling the front door open as gentle as I can.
I Never Asked You To Save Me: Book 3 The Wakefield Romance Series Page 9