I Never Asked You To Save Me: Book 3 The Wakefield Romance Series

by Hewitt, Theresa Marguerite

  The cool spring air nips at my bare skin as I break from the house, walking hurriedly down the sidewalk past Reno and Rosa’s. I ignore the pain as it radiates throughout my lower body. If I ignore it, maybe it will go away. If I ignore it maybe I’ll wake up from this nightmare and have my life back. I’ll wake up to my right life, my SEAL life, the one that Ellie would be happy to share with me. My walk turns into a jog and as the pain shoots up from my mangled left leg, I grit through it and keep going faster.

  This pain and heaviness in my chest is squeezing so hard that I can’t hold in a frustrated scream, giving into the pain and falling to the gravel. This reality is bullshit. What the hell did I ever do to deserve this?

  I served my country. I did what was asked of me. I saved the helpless and took down potential threats to my nation’s freedom. And now what do I have? I have half of my left leg and nightmares. I’ve given more than just a piece of me, I’ve given my soul and I can’t help but feel right now that I want it back.

  “No,” I yell at myself, slamming my clenched fists down onto the gravel feeling it bite into my skin but I’m not letting it phase me. “I can’t be like this. I need to pick myself up. There are those that I care about that need me.”

  I repeat the words my psychologist has given me to say in moments of doubt, mumbling them to myself as I push back up onto my feet and straighten the sneaker on my prosthetic. The pain and heaviness in my chest still pulls away at my heart as I turn back towards my temporary home, kicking the gravel under my feet as I chat to myself.

  “I will always be a SEAL,” I get out between clenched teeth as I grind them back and forth, focusing in on the sound and feel rather than the fire building in my left knee. “I will always be the man that became the sailor.” Chad had repeated something similar to me while I was still in the hospital and it has stuck with me ever since. It’s hard to believe right now, but as I make it across their driveway as silently as I can, I keep running the words through my mind, wanting to make them true.

  Shutting the door behind me without a sound, I pause and listen to see if there is any movement in the house. Nothing but silence meets my ears and I release a quiet sigh of relief. No one noticed my freak out. It’s a good thing so now I won’t have to explain it.

  Peeking in around the door to my new bedroom I can see the sheets still tangled around Ellie and hear her quiet rhythmic breathing. It brings a sly smile to my face and for a split second I forget about the pain.

  “You better put some ice on your leg Timmons,” Chad’s familiar voice fills the dark space and I whip around to see him leaning against the wall separating the kitchen and the living room, a glass of water in his hand. His eyebrow is raised as I see his gaze move from my face to my leg, causing a squirming feeling to race over my skin as his Chief and superior attitude makes me feel like a newbie again. The respect and gratitude that I have for my friend will always remain strong, no matter what I go through.

  “I didn’t think anyone was up Chief,” I whisper, moving away from the bedroom door and trying not to limp too much as I make my way past Chad to the table, lowering myself down into one of the wooden chairs. The thick pad feels heavenly on my burning and tweaking muscles and I let out a little sigh as Chad joins me still giving me a skeptical look.

  “I woke up when I heard the door to my home open and close in the wee hours of the morning.” His fingers tap along the glass and I kick myself, knowing that he would have heard me if I wasn’t clouded by pain and panic. The man hears everything. How could I have been so careless as to think that he would let this slide?

  “Talk to me Bobby. I’m your friend and I’m here to help.”

  Rubbing my hand across my chin, I nod my head letting my friend know that I acknowledge he’s here for me. The pain running up through my leg pulls at my attention, so pushing my chair back from the table I pull the metal prosthetic off and tug on the suspension sleeve, feeling relief as the cool air meets the irritated skin when it’s off. It’s the first time I’ve really let anyone have a good look at my leg without the sleeve on and I can just feel Chad’s gaze skirt over my knee, but I can’t blame him. He has to know what he’s up against as my friend, am I right?

  Leaving the sleeve off, I pull myself back to the table and run my hand across my face trying to prepare my mind for the words that I’m going to say out loud. “I’m having nightmares Chief,” I say with my face downturned and my fingers picking at something invisible on the hardwood tabletop.

  I feel as if I’m breaking some un-written rule talking about something as childish as having nightmares with the man who basically molded me into the SEAL and man that I am. He taught me and guided me, watching my six and taking me down a few pegs when I needed it.

  He nods, adding “I guessed as much,” as he gets up and walks over to the sink filling a glass from the tap and bringing it back to slide it in front of me while taking his seat once more. I take a sip and sit in silence, letting the faint sunlight from the nearing sunrise pull my attention.

  “I don’t think she realizes how much this will change things,” I mumble, looking back to Chad and seeing his gaze on the pending sunrise as well. His chair is balancing on the two back legs as he leans back, bringing the glass up to his lips as he nods.

  I just can’t get rid of the feeling that I shouldn’t try and tie Ellie down with being with a cripple like me. Taking a deep breath I turn my eyes to the empty and still darkened living room, adding “I can’t be the man that she needs.”

  “Why don’t you let Ellie decide that for herself?” he says giving me a matter-of-fact look as he slides his chair back again, rising to put his glass in the sink. I watch him as he fills and turns on the coffee pot, pulling a pan of prepared cinnamon rolls from the fridge and placing them on the stove top as he turns the oven on. All that I can think of is that I honestly don’t know if I can handle the rejection that might come with letting Ellie in and then having her turn me away.

  “Ellie is stronger than you give her credit for.” He gives me a wink as he leans back against the counter. Shaking my head I lean back, rubbing my hand along what’s left of my shin and trying to release some of the tension. A good hot shower will do me good, releasing the pains in my leg and in other places.

  “Just don’t break her heart,” he gives me a stern look but can’t hold onto it and breaks out in a smile. “If you break her heart I’ll be the one to suffer.”

  Laughing, I reach for my crutches that are lying across the opposite chair, taking my metal prosthetic and sleeve in my grip as I prop myself up. “Don’t worry Chief,” I smile, giving him a sarcastic wink that I know he’ll rag on me for later, “I’m done with my heart breaking days.”

  As I make my way into the hallway bathroom I hear his hearty laugh making me smile as I shut the door. If Ellie gives me a chance, I truly will be done with my heart breaking days.

  Only time will tell. And as far as I’m concerned, I’ll give Ellie all the time she wants as long as I get to spend it by her side.

  ~~~~~~~~~~

  Ellie

  I can hear Chad and Bobby talking quietly out in the kitchen, trying hard not to let their voices travel. They are talking about me and at first it makes me smile and my heart skip a beat, but then Chad says something like “She’s stronger than you give her credit for” and it makes me hold my breath, pulling the sheet up around my chin.

  Am I strong enough? Am I strong enough to be the support that I know Bobby will need? Better yet, am I strong enough to even start another relationship right now? I don’t know if I am.

  Yes, the feelings I have for Bobby have only tripled since his deployment and having him just cuddle with me tonight made me feel safe and loved, but am I ready to take it up a notch?

  I would feel a hell of a lot better about it if I had those divorce papers signed and in my possession, but as always Jake is taking his sweet time while making my life hell. I am thankful that he hasn’t been bothering me lately, but I know he p
robably isn’t far off. He isn’t one to give up on something.

  I can smell the coffee brewing and the faint hint of cinnamon in the air from Rhea’s famous cinnamon buns and I take a deep breath in, savoring the feeling of being home. I love staying in my cousin’s house.

  Chad is humming to himself as he shuffles past the slightly open door and I hear him go up the stairs. Slowly sitting up I stretch up to the ceiling, wishing Bobby was in here so we could cuddle some more. Just the thought of his arm wrapped around me makes a little smile caress my face as I reach for my sweatshirt.

  “What are ya smilin’ at sweetheart?” his strong smooth voice scares me and I jump back from the edge of the bed, far enough to hit my head on the headboard. The sharp little pain radiates through the back of my head and I close my eyes, letting a few curses slip out.

  The bed dips on my left and I feel Bobby’s arms gently snake around me, one at my waist as the other hand covers mine where I bumped my head. Just the slightest touch makes my pulse race.

  “I didn’t mean to scare ya,” he chuckles as I open my eyes, now slightly teary from the ridiculousness of the situation. His hazel eyes are peering down at me, pulling me in and I can’t help but laugh. He’s shirtless and glistening, probably from the shower and as I continue to laugh, he smiles right along with me, wrapping me in a tight hug and toppling us over to lie side by side on the bed.

  “No really,” Bobby gets out between laughing and running his hand gently over my hair, “are you okay Ell?”

  As I try and control myself, wiping the tears from laughing so hard from my cheeks, I really look into Bobby’s eyes. He is staring right back at me, the mixture of green and brown in his eyes being a perfect combination. The freckles across his nose and cheeks make him look so boyish and as I hesitantly lay my hand over them, he leans into my touch and smiles a heartbreaking smile. It takes my breath away and the slight stubble on his cheek brings the nerve endings in my palm to life.

  “I’m okay Bobby,” I say but it comes out in a breathy whisper as his look doesn’t waver, his attention making a hot blush quickly flow across my skin. The heat rising to the surface matches the feeling in my core, wanting him and needing him but feeling unsure at the same time.

  “That’s good,” he whispers as I see his look wash over my face. His fingers come up to lightly trace my chin and it sends lightning bolts over my skin, causing goose-bumps to pop up.

  “Are you cold,” he asks, shifting closer to me while wrapping his arm around my torso pulling me closer to him.

  “No,” I barely get out as his hand caresses my cheek again. I’ve never felt like this, so broken down and so helpless at a touch. I feel as if my body is worthless, my arms refusing to move when I try and wrap them around his neck. A smart ass smile quirks up one side of his mouth.

  “So, you’re sayin’ I’m doing this to you?” he almost laughs out, pulling me slowly to him so that our noses are touching.

  I can’t answer him. My chest is heaving in and out from just the thought of what might come next. My eyes are trained on his chin, afraid to meet his because then I know I’ll be a goner.

  Finally my arms respond enough so that I rest my palms on his bare chest, feeling the warmth and slight moisture from his shower and a flash of what he might look like naked flows through my mind, forcing me to shut my eyes and bite my lip. This man must have a drug in his blood to have me all tangled like this.

  “Ellie. Look at me,” he whispers, his minty breath washes over my face as his fingers gently force my chin up, my eyes meeting his as my nose brushes against his cheek. It seems as if we sit there for hours, just staring at each other but before I know if Bobby’s lips are on mine as his fingers trace a path along my chin and tangle into my hair, encircling the base of my neck.

  It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before as his lips move over mine and my eyes slide shut to savor the moment. Just as I feel his tongue trace a light path over my lips, he breaks away, resting his forehead on mine. I miss the contact immediately, wanting more and feeling as if I need more. My heart is pounding so that’s it’s playing a rapid beat in my ears and I can feel a slight tremble tingling in my fingers.

  “Ellie, I” he starts to say but I quiet him with slamming my lips down onto his. I don’t know what has come over me, but I just feel as if I need him more than I need anything right now. I need this man to kiss me; I need his hands on me. I can tell he’s shocked at first but as I nip at his bottom lip slightly he groans, opening for me as I push him onto his back and straddle him. I run my hands slowly and teasingly up his chest, barely tracing his skin with my fingertips.

  Now I don’t really think about it, but as his hands slide down my sides to rest on my butt, I remember I’m only in skimpy little sleep shorts that I leave here in case I sleep over and a tank top, but I don’t care. His fingers grip into my flesh, boosting me up and pulling me tighter to him at the same time as I deepen the kiss while tangling our tongues. It’s an amazing feeling as he knows just what I like and matches every move of my lips with his.

  As I press myself into his chest, I can feel his rising desire pressing against the basketball shorts he has on and it makes my heart beat faster. He’s feeling what I’m feeling. He squeezes my butt cheeks in his hands and I let out a moan against his lips, losing myself in his movements.

  “Ahem,” the shrill, obnoxious throat clearing seems to echo through our little world and we are startled apart.

  I turn my head towards the door to see Rhea standing there, Charlie on her hip, with her hand trying to cover the infant’s eyes as he pulls at it. I can feel the flush run over my skin as she clears her throat one more time. Charlie coos and gurgles when he sees me, fighting like hell to have his mother let him down so he can crawl and explore the room.

  “Sorry to interrupt,” she says and I can tell she’s trying not to blush or laugh, “But I was wondering if you two were gonna come eat somethin’?”

  “We’ll be right out Rhea,” Bobby chuckles, wrapping his arms around my torso tight as Rhea shuts the door behind her. I can just imagine what she’s going to go whisper to her husband the second she gets into the kitchen, so turning my face into Bobby’s shoulder I can’t help but giggle. I don’t know what came over me just now, but it felt damn good.

  Next thing I know, I’m on my back with Bobby hovering over me, his elbows resting on either side of my face effectively pinning me down with my legs still wrapped around his waist. I can feel him playing with my hair as his eyes lock onto mine, that evil little grin creeping up once more.

  “Don’t think I’m done with you Miss Ellie,” he whispers only a split second before claiming my lips with his, pulling my face closer to his with his hands on my cheeks.

  His tongue darts over my lips and I open for him, letting him explore as our tongues mingle. It’s perfect, the feeling of him kissing me and his weight on top of me. I’ve never felt this surge of desire before and as I push my hips up into him, feeling that he’s still as ready as before, he moans into our kiss pulling at my hair lightly.

  “I’m far from done with you,” he adds in a quick break, kissing me a few more times before grumbling that he has to get dressed. As he rolls over to get something out of the dresser on the other side of the room, I immediately miss his weight on top of me. My heart is still soaring, feeling as if it might beat right out of my chest as I sit up, stunned from our feverish display.

  I’m on cloud nine while pulling on some jeans and watching Bobby’s perfect physique do the same out of the corner of my eye. He adjusts his prosthetic before pulling the jean leg down over it and I can’t help but wonder if he’s hurting right now. Here I am on cloud freaking nine, not thinking about anything and he could be in pain. Pulling on a graphic tee and tying my hair up I bounce across the bed to sit next to him.

  “Are you in pain?” I whisper, leaning my head on his shoulder as he buttons up a pearl snap shirt.

  “No, not really,” he shrugs, throwing his arm ar
ound my waist and lifting me off the bed as he stands. Setting me down, he pulls me flush to his front, coaxing me up on my tiptoes with his fingers under my chin so he can place a sweet kiss on my lips. “The only pain I have is in my pants sweetheart.”

  “Oh,” I say, blushing wildly as he laughs.

  He follows me out into the kitchen and we join Rhea and Chad for breakfast. Thankfully, neither of them bring up what Rhea interrupted and as Chad and Bobby head out into the garage to work on Chad’s truck, or just talk about us, Rhea lets out a loud dramatic sigh at her position next to me at the sink.

  “Go on,” I say, elbowing her slightly, “say what you got on your mind.”

  “It was quite a scene I walked in on,” she smiles wickedly, plunging her hands into the soapy water to scrub another glass.

  “We were just kissing,” I defend myself; trying not to drop the plate I’m drying when the memory of Bobby’s lips on mine flows through my mind. The lingering desire lies within and I have to place my hands on the counter to steady myself as my limbs feel weak.

  “Yeah. Kissing,” she laughs, practically throwing a couple of the glasses back into the water as she almost doubles over in laughter. That’s my cousin for ya, always one to not miss a thing.

  As I stand there patiently, waiting for her laughing spell to wane I smile right along with her. It does feel good, knowing he wants me as bad as I want him. But am I ready to take that leap?

  “Just listen Ellie,” Rhea’s voice breaks my thinking as her arm snakes around my waist. I throw my arm over her shoulder and we stand there for a minute, just two cousins enjoying one another’s presence. “Give each other time. You’re both still kind of fragile. I just don’t want either of you to get hurt. Especially not you.”