Tapout

by J.C. Valentine

  “I can’t say that I blame him. He’s been through a lot.”

  Tori lifted her gaze and held Alyson’s. “Can I ask you something?” Alyson nodded, giving her permission to continue. “I know how you feel about Tony, but if you were me, and this was Jamison we were talking about, would you give him another chance?”

  Alyson stiffened. Her immediate reaction to go on the defensive. Jami could never be a monster like Tony, but she reminded herself that this was hypothetical. She knew her answer right away. Her past experiences made it an easy decision. “No, I would walk away.”

  “Just like that?” Tori asked in disbelief.

  “Just like that.” Flattening her palm on the counter between them, Alyson prepared to reveal a part of her past that she didn’t share with just anyone. “I’ve been there before, Tori. My father drank too much, and it made him… not a nice person.” Tori had gone still as a statue. “He used to hit me and my mom a lot. Until one day when he went too far. He was coming after me, and Jami intervened.”

  Tori gasped and reached to cover Alyson’s hands, but Alyson pulled back. “What happened? Did Jami get hurt?”

  “Actually, my father did. Even as a teenager, Jami was strong. He hit my father so hard that he sustained permanent brain damage. He has to be hand fed, and he is in a wheelchair now. My mother takes care of him.” What Alyson didn’t say was that she never turned back. She hadn’t seen her parents in over five years, not since the day she walked out the door, and she had no plans to change that.

  “I’m not telling you this so you will feel sorry for me,” Alyson continued, meeting Tori’s sympathetic eyes. She didn’t want her sympathy. She just wanted her to listen and learn.

  “You know what they say about history repeating itself? Very few people know about my past, and now you’re one of them. My father beat us, Tori,” she said fiercely. “He hit us, and he made sure to let us know that it was our fault. If we hadn’t been so loud, if only he didn’t have to waste his money feeding and clothing us. There were too many reasons to count, but the truth was that he was an evil bastard.” She was getting worked up, she realized. Taking a moment to collect herself, she softened her voice. “I’m telling you this because you and Miles deserve better. You deserve a peaceful, happy life. And Tony is not the person to give that to you.” She pushed her stool away from the counter.

  “Ally—”

  “You’re going to do whatever you want to do, Tori, I get that. But this is your second chance at life. You have friends, family. All the things you lost are coming back. Don’t throw it away.” Unable to stand there any longer, with the realization that Tori was a lost cause, Alyson saw herself out.

  She held back the tears all the way to the bus stop, even managing to make it to a seat in the back before the hiccupping started. Another case lost. Another mother and child gone. In hindsight, maybe being fired was the best thing to happen to her after all. Now she wouldn’t have to endure having her heart broken time and again. She felt that ache deep in her chest now. It was so profound that she had to rub her hand over the spot to alleviate the pain.

  At the halfway point between Olivia’s place and Jami’s, the bus slowed to a stop to let passengers on and off. As she peered out the window, she was aware that this was one of those moments she should be paying close attention. Straight ahead, she could continue on to Olivia where she knew her friend would listen and offer whatever comfort she could, but if she got off now, she could walk the five blocks to Jami. He wouldn’t be there yet, and she would be alone, but just being among his things was a comforting thought.

  The decision wasn’t difficult to make.

  Ten minutes later, Alyson let herself into the dark and empty house, and a minute later, she was curling up on Jami’s bed, inhaling the clean scent of his cologne infused in the sheets, wishing he were there to hold her. The tears came fast and hard. Gasping into the pillow, Alyson allowed the grief over Tory and Miles, of losing the job she loved, and of the danger that Jami was in to wash over her.

  It was all so much to take in, too much to deal with all at once. She allowed the sobs to rack her body, sapping all her energy, until she couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore. Then, she succumbed to sleep, a sweet escape from the nightmare of reality.

  ***

  Alyson woke to steel bands around her middle, locking her in an unbreakable embrace. She didn’t have to open her eyes to know who held her. She would know that hard chest pressing against her back anywhere.

  The thrill of Jami being home filled her. Despite the exhaustion she had felt after crying her eyes out earlier, she was wide awake now. No trace of it left in the face of the bright, all-consuming happiness she felt bubbling inside of her. Jami was home.

  His soft, warm breath fanned over the back of her neck. Knowing how tired he must be after his flight, she didn’t want to wake him, but she also did. She wanted to jump on the bed. She wanted to laugh, to hear him laugh. She wanted to kiss.

  God, she missed his mouth.

  Trailing light fingertips down his arm, she traced the map of thick veins that traveled across his wrist and hand, content just to lay there and soak in his heat and silent strength.

  The press of his lips to her shoulder drew up an answering smile. “It’s so good to be home,” Jami said. His deep voice was raspy from sleep.

  “Mmm.” Alyson’s eyes closed at the sound of it. They talked on the phone every day, but there was no substitute for hearing his voice in her ear, right behind her, his words creating a hot caress against her skin that caused tingles of desire to curl in smoky tendrils between her legs.

  “When I told you to be in my bed when I got back, I didn’t expect to actually find you here.”

  Alyson recalled the conversation before he had left. He did tell her to be waiting for him, didn’t he? It hadn’t even factored into her decision when she got off the bus, but she was glad she’d chosen it. She loved pleasing him, even if it was something as small as this. “Yeah, but I’m not naked,” she reminded him. “And I forgot the bells.”

  Jami nuzzled her neck, his arms tightening around her. The hard press of his erection against her backside was tantalizing, sparking an answering need to rise inside of her. Alyson pressed back into him, and Jami growled, nipping her shoulder playfully.

  “Are you awake?” he asked her, placing delicate kisses along the side of her neck.

  Alyson tilted her head, giving him fuller access. She chuckled. “Last I checked. Are you?”

  Jami’s answer was to grind his hips into her. They both moaned at the sensation. “This was the longest week ever. I’m dying to be inside of you,” he whispered in her ear.

  Reaching back, Alyson tunneled her fingers through his hair. Turning her head, she looked into his rich brown eyes, heated with his desire, and said, “What are you waiting for?”

  Jami’s mouth crashed down on hers. Licking the seam of her lips, Alyson opened her mouth, and Jami delved inside to taste her. Below the blankets, Jami made quick work of undressing them both. Opening her thighs, he urged her top leg up and then slid inside her from behind.

  Alyson gasped into his mouth, the thick fullness of him welcome after so long. Jami lashed her with his tongue, while his hand skimmed lower. His fingers smoothed across her ribcage to her breast. Taking the tender mound in his hand, he massaged her, pinching her nipple between his fingers. Alyson arched into his hand, the sharp sting of pain there and gone before her mind could fully process it, but her body had, and it was shouting for more.

  The things Jami did to her were incredible. He seemed to know exactly how to play her body to bring out the strongest reactions. When he had his fill of her breast, Jami’s hand slipped between her thighs, and he rubbed her in short, hard circles, placing pressure on the tight ball of nerves. Alyson moaned, her hand in his hair gripping tighter. Her words were soft and pleading.

  “More. Jami, please, more.”

  His words were gentle demands. “That’s right, Ally b
aby. Come for me. Come all around me.”

  Her body answered. Her muscles locked as the pleasure reached a crescendo, and Alyson’s eyes squeezed shut. She focused on the height of sensation between her legs. Jami slid out slowly, and then slammed back into her, and it was all she needed to set her off as her orgasm barreled over her. Jami’s groan as he took his own release prolonged hers.

  When they both came down, Alyson’s body trembled. Behind her, Jami clutched her to him as if he’d never let her go.

  FOURTEEN

  They had four days left to come up with the rest of the money they needed to pay off Spencer’s debt and get him clear of trouble. Jami spent the morning with Ally. She hadn’t spoken to Olivia yet about the loan. Joined by Don, they talked over breakfast and ironed out the best way to approach Liv. They considered lying, telling her that Ally needed the money to purchase a car—which she needed, because he was pissed as hell to learn that she was still boarding buses when he wasn’t around. They considered having Ally ask her on behalf of Jami, under the guise of Jami needing it for the gym because he was indebted and in trouble. It wasn’t a full out lie. He did owe money. It just wasn’t his debt.

  In the end, they decided it would be best to tell her the truth. All of it. They were hoping that her heart wasn’t completely dead to Spencer and that when she heard he was in trouble, she would be willing to help him out of it. If she did, then they just needed to pray she actually had the money to give.

  Jami opened the wall safe hidden behind a yellowing photo of Ali at the height of his career located behind the desk in Don’s office. It was totally cliché, but Knockout was old construction, and the previous owner clearly lacked imagination, although Jami probably would have just stashed the bundle of money in the drop tiled ceiling. At least this way, if the place suddenly went up in flames, the money wouldn’t burn with it.

  Ally had come through for him. She’d advanced her only credit card and drained her savings, making them four thousand dollars closer to their goal. He felt like a leech for having to accept her money, but knowing she had a good job and didn’t have to live on it made it somewhat easier to stomach. It gave him time to pay it all back.

  Liv had been a little harder to deal with. Her initial response to them asking her to help still rang clear in his head.

  “Are you insane? Hell, I’ll bust his kneecaps myself, and I’ll do it for free!”

  It still gave him a chuckle when he thought back on it, but Liv was a good cookie. When she learned that they were in as deep as Spencer, she didn’t hesitate to cut them a check. It was obvious to him that Liv was the kind of person to give the shirt off her back if it meant helping a friend.

  Ally was lucky to have her.

  The safe was nothing but a square block set into the wall, barely big enough to hold a small folder containing important ownership documents for the gym, some random pieces of jewelry that Don didn’t want to risk keeping at the house, and the small stack of cash he’d collected from the girls. Between them, they’d supplied almost eight thousand toward the twelve-five they needed. It was still a lot of money to come up with on such short notice, but it was manageable. Jami just needed to get creative.

  Eying the few pieces of jewelry—a rose gold rope necklace, a pair of diamond stud earrings, and three rings, one a bridal set and the other a plain silver band—he briefly considered how much they might fetch him, but no pawn shop in the country would ever pay enough to make the trade worthwhile. Not when they held some of the fondest memories Don had left of his late wife, Milly.

  Hearing a soft tap on the door, Jami hurried to close the safe. In moments, he was across the room and opening the door. His smile was genuine. “Hey, babe.” Stepping aside, he allowed Ally to enter and closed the door behind her. “What are you doing here?” he asked, glancing at the clock on the wall. It wasn’t lunchtime, and it was a weekday. “Did you leave work early?” Concern hit him. Was she sick? Did something happen that he should know about? He posed these questions to her, but she shook her head.

  “No, everything is fine,” she assured him. Perching on the edge of one of the plastic yellow chairs positioned opposite Don’s desk, he couldn’t help noticing the lines of strain around her eyes and the tight set of her mouth. Something was bothering her.

  “Is this about the money? Are you having second thoughts?” Worry consumed him. They needed it, but if she wanted it back, he would give it to her in a heartbeat. He frowned at the sudden thought. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for Ally, he realized, even if at the expense of his best friend.

  Ally’s smile was pensive. “No, I would never do that. I want to help.”

  Reaching out, he took her hand. His thumb tracing small circles on her palm, he looked into her eyes. “Then what is it?”

  She looked away, making him worry all the more. “I—um, I wanted to… I need…” She struggled to get the words out.

  Jami could feel his shoulders bunching with rising tension. Hoping to relieve it with a little humor, he joked, “Okay, either you’re leaving some key words out, or I’ve taken way more shots to the head than I realized.” Ally smirked, giving him an eye roll. Good, his attempt had worked. Growing serious, he asked, “What are you trying to say here, babe? Whatever it is, you know I’m here for you.”

  Ally’s green eyes stared into his, holding him captive for the longest time. He couldn’t imagine having found a better person to share his time with—she was sweet and charming, warm and loving—everything he’d never had but always wanted. She was it. Despite her next words, he knew she was withholding something, but he didn’t want to press the issue. The last few days had been stressful, to say the least, and the last thing he wanted to do was pick a fight with the only person who brought him any solace.

  When she told him it was nothing, confirming that she was just stressed out, he knew she was lying, but chose to leave it alone. For now. Still holding her hand, he pulled her to her feet and invited her to join him on the mats for a little one-on-one self-defense training.

  Her eyes gleaming with mischief matched his own. She left the room with a little more life than she had come in with, and they spent the rest of the afternoon teasing each other’s body and mind until they could no longer keep their emotions inside, and ducked out early, eager to be home and in bed and wrapped up in one another.

  ***

  Alyson dined with Olivia Wednesday afternoon at a fast food place down the street from the bistro Jami had introduced her to on their first date. She was filled with nervous butterflies. Jami had gone to the bank early that morning to see if he could take out a loan against the gym, and she had yet to hear back from him. Even with her and Liv’s contribution heavily reducing the debt Spencer owed, they still had a ways to go and only two days left to do it.

  She didn’t even want to think about when the time came for Jami to pay up. Just the thought of him being in the same room with vicious criminals made her heart sick.

  “Stop stressing,” Liv told her, but one look at her face and Alyson could see that Liv wasn’t much better off. She had been uncharacteristically quiet and subdued since she and Jami had spoken with her on Monday. Alyson didn’t have to ask to know that her friend was just as worried about Spencer as Alyson was about Jami. The tough breakup hadn’t made her stop caring.

  “I will when you will,” Alyson returned, smiling tightly. Her effort to lighten the mood was lost on both of them.

  Dropping her spoon into the soup bowl, Liv sat back and glared at the uneaten meal in front of her. “Only Spencer, you know?” Alyson didn’t know. She never really got to know Spencer, not on a personal level. She only knew what she saw or what she was told, and although none of it looked or sounded good, she knew she was the last person capable of determining his true character. What was on the outside didn’t always reflect what was on the inside. If Olivia and Jami had seen something in him worth caring about, worth risking themselves over, then there had to be something there that she was mis
sing.

  The jury was still out, so Alyson was taking the wait and see approach before she made her final judgment.

  “I keep trying to hate him,” Olivia continued, her voice filled with frustration, “but he keeps pulling me back in!” This she said through clenched teeth, her hands making fists on the table. Her eyes widened as a thought occurred to her. “I just handed over my life savings. Am I dumb or what?”

  Alyson’s brows furrowed at the pained sound detected in Liv’s voice. “You’re not dumb. You loved him,” she ventured, “and you can’t turn something like that off overnight. He’s in trouble, and you wanted to help. There’s nothing wrong with that. Besides,” she added, “I handed over my life savings too, so what does that make me?”

  “A complete moron.” Olivia’s grin stretched across her face.

  Balling up her napkin, Alyson tossed it at her. “Thanks a lot.”

  Chuckling softly, Olivia picked up her glass of soda and took a sip from the straw. “Seriously, though. Do you really think he gives a flying crap about where the money came from? He just cares that he won’t be sleeping with the fishes. I’m just the dumb broad whose heart doesn’t know when to let go.”

  There was a halfhearted joke in there somewhere, but Alyson wasn’t laughing. “You can’t help who you love,” Alyson said supportively. “Spencer is just messed up. Jami said he has an addiction, and people with addictions don’t always know what’s best for them.” She gave Liv a meaningful look. “Sweetie, the important thing right now is that we are helping him get out of this mess. This might seem like the hard part, but the hardest part is still coming. When Spencer has to face what he has done, he’s going to need all of us there to support him.”

  Alyson had been at the table when Jami and Don discussed what they planned to do with Spencer once they got the thing with Marco squared away. There was a treatment center about a mile away. They wanted Spencer to get help, and Alyson knew from past experience that it wasn’t that easy. Unless this Marco situation had served as a wake-up call for him, Spencer was likely to put up a fight.