First Comes Love

by Juliana Conners

  “You mean stand through!” I laugh.

  “And here’s to the next two days of hell that lay ahead of us,” Harlow says.

  We all clink our glasses and down our drinks. A good ten of us from the unit have gathered at Louie’s, something that’s become a tradition for us to do before and after training sessions and deployments.

  It was Jensen’s idea to come here, since he belongs to a motorcycle club called the Desert Dogs and this is their local watering hole. It’s not exactly my kind of place but I enjoy the comradery and the chance to get together with my brothers and other SEALs.

  For the first time, however, we have ladies among us: Jensen’s new wife Riley, and Harlow’s girlfriend Whitney. They won’t see their guys for the next couple of days due to the training, so they wanted to come out and spend time with them.

  Whitney looks particularly clingy, as she puts her head on Harlow’s shoulder with a slight pout. He doesn’t seem to mind though, as his arm encircles her waist and he lays his head down on top of hers for a minute.

  I guess it must be hard for a couple deep in love to be separated for six months. I wouldn’t know, and not wanting to know or care is one of the reasons I’ve stayed single.

  Being an active duty SEAL is no life for a committed man like Harlow is now, or a family man like some of our fellow SEALs are. It requires solitude, isolation and a reservation of emotions.

  Why Jensen would choose to mess that all up by tying himself down to Riley is beyond me. Sure, she’s pretty, smart, and she clearly loves him. But that doesn’t mean he had to go and marry her. What ever happened to a good old- fashioned one night stand?

  Whitney takes a drink out of her fancy Cosmo and says, “We sure are going to miss you boys.”

  She and Riley do a toast between themselves. I can’t believe that Harlow let himself get tied down either. At least he hasn’t gone and gotten married yet.

  “I didn’t know this bar served those girly drinks,” I remark, in an effort to lighten the mood.

  “Yeah, you guys should be kicked out for even ordering them,” says Brian, another member of our team.

  “Before we know it, female fighter pilots will be coming here to order their pink drinks that match their pink planes,” Jerry says.

  Everyone laughs, except for me, but I’m glad that at least we’re not here on official business, and at least they’re not making these dumb comments in front of Monica. The way everyone else views it, they’re just some guys shooting the shit after a hard day at work. Which is one of the reasons that many of them don’t want women invading our ranks.

  They think it would make things awkward, uncomfortable, and that everyone would feel like they had to censor themselves. But in my opinion, maybe they shouldn’t be such douchebags and then they wouldn’t have anything to censor.

  “Female fighter pilots?” asks Riley, raising her head to search Jensen’s eyes. Her interest is piqued.

  “Yeah, there was one at the training today,” he says. “She flies the new fighter jet of the same type that’s accompanying the unit to Afghanistan.”

  “Awesome,” Whitney says. “That’s really cool that there’s a woman in your midst.”

  I can tell that Jensen and Harlow are both trying to refrain from rolling their eyes.

  “That’s what Ramsey and Jensen thought,” Jerry volunteers. “They about kicked a newbie’s ass for saying anything less than positive about the lady.”

  “Oh, come on,” I say, trying to keep my tone good- natured and light, but I’m annoyed at his characterization. “‘Anything less than positive?’ Those comments were outright sexist, and could get the entire unit in trouble for sexual harassment or hostile work environment claims or something equally as damaging.”

  “That’s true,” Riley agrees, always the lawyer. “And I think it’s really cool that you guys stuck up for her. Good job.”

  She kisses Jensen on the cheek, and everyone coos. He actually blushes.

  “Well, I was mostly just making sure I had Ramsey’s back,” Jensen says, taking a masculine swig of his drink, most likely in an effort to show the other guys that he’s no pussy. “I was in charge of the guy who was disrespecting him. But I don’t know why he had such a stick up his ass about the chick.”

  “Oooh, does someone have a crush?” Whitney asks.

  She says it in a playful manner, but she’s peering at me quite cheerfully, almost hopefully.

  I have to admit to myself that I do wish Monica had come to join us. She was probably too scared off by all the jokes made at her expense.

  I guess I do have a bit of a “crush” on her, if crush means wanting to get into her pants. But the principle I was fighting for is bigger than any crush or lust I might feel towards just this one female fighter pilot.

  “I don’t know when or why or how it’s become manly to make fun of women, or girly or crush- like to put a stop to that kind of behavior,” I say, quite seriously. “But I won’t stand for it in our unit, or with any accompanying unit or crew. We’re all a team and no one should be treated badly.”

  “Yes sir,” the men say, some mumbling it out of obligation but others appearing quite earnest, and seeming to respect my words.

  I know I’m not the only guy here who feels this way. I have a good team made of men who mostly agree with what I’m saying, even if it’s fun to make jokes about the female fighter pilot.

  “Holy shit,” says Jerry, who is slightly turned towards the door. “Speaking of the devil…”

  We all turn and look in that direction.

  My heart leaps up almost as much as my cock does.

  Fuck. Why am I so fucking stuck on this chick I just met?

  “Who invited her?” Brian says, practically spitting the words out.

  Everyone shrugs, and I do the same, trying to appear nonchalant.

  But Whitney catches my eye and smiles. I try to look innocent.

  “You guys are always shouting about how we’re off to Louie’s, or whatever,” Jerry says. “I’m sure she heard and thought it was an open invite—”

  He shuts his mouth— luckily— as Monica approaches us.

  “Hey everyone!” she says, smiling a bit too widely, trying a bit too hard.

  But it’s cute. She looks at me and I want to wink at her, but I refrain.

  “Hi,” Riley thrusts a hand out to her. “I’m Riley Bradford. Jensen’s wife.”

  “Nice to meet you,” Monica says, looking genuinely relieved as she gratefully shakes her hand.

  “And I’m Whitney Reid, Harlow Bradford’s girlfriend.”

  Whitney winks at me as she introduces herself to Monica, obviously pleased that my “crush” showed up.

  Whitney and Monica shake hands as well, and Brian rolls his eyes. I know he wants to remark that now this is like a triple date. But he refrains because he knows I’ll punch him if he makes any more stupid comments.

  Monica says, “Sorry I’m late. Got a bit lost. But I was intent on coming because I’m looking forward to getting to know you all a bit more before our training session tomorrow.”

  She looks at me, for a brief minute, and I silently blink my approval. I appreciate her not blowing my cover.

  Plus, I remind myself, she can’t openly admit she came to meet up with an inferior. Technically I’m just enlisted and she’s an officer.

  A rather awkward silence follows, and then Monica looks around again and says, “Well, it looks like my choices are a stiff rum and coke, or a girly Cosmo.”

  Everyone laughs. Even the guys.

  “You obviously know what we prefer,” Whitney jokes, as she nods toward Riley.

  “Oh, there are a lot of choices,” I tell her. “And some appetizer specials too. Come on, I’ll take you over to the bar so that Jessa can hook you up.”

  “You guys come here a lot, then?” she asks, as we head over to the bartender.

  “Jensen makes us,” I can hear Jerry joke, and then Jensen mumbling, “Come on, you guys
like it here too.”

  Soon it’s just Monica and me, by ourselves in a corner of the bar, and I feel uncharacteristically nervous. I wonder what the guys must think, so I sneak a peek over to our table, but they all seem to be talking amongst themselves, rather than paying any attention to us.

  I guess it’s pretty normal that I would offer to show a lady around a bar with which she’s unfamiliar, or buy her a drink. I’m just overblowing the situation in my mind, because I’m afraid that what Whitney refers to as my “crush” is blindingly obvious to the others as well.

  I clear my throat, but Monica jumps in with a conversation starter.

  “So, this place looks a little… seedy, but also pretty chill.”

  She glances over to the pool table section, where some less- than- upstanding- looking stoner- type kids are shooting pool.

  “Yeah, that’s Albuquerque in general for you.”

  We laugh. Her chuckle is so damn cute.

  “Have you ever been to our fine city before?” I ask.

  “No, it’s my first time. So, thanks for showing me around. Otherwise I’d just be vegging out at my hotel, instead of having the opportunity to see this fine establishment.”

  I smile and then Jessa nods at me from where she’s busy pouring drinks, and I touch Monica’s arm to get her attention.

  “Any idea what you’d like to drink?”

  “A Long Island,” she says, without hesitation.

  “Very nice,” I tell her, impressed that she’s no lightweight ordering a glass of wine or a light beer.

  She puts her hand on mine, as if it belongs there, and laughs.

  “You don’t know me very well,” she says.

  “Not yet.”

  I squeeze her hand and then brush her arm as I move to take my wallet out of my pocket and pay for her drink, shocking myself with my brazenness. While it’s not unusual of me to move quickly and strike fast, I feel an intense draw to her and a sense of rush, knowing she’s only in town for three days and two of them are going to be hell on earth.

  It doesn’t appear as though she wants to reject me. And being with her is dangerous for our careers, but since when has fear stopped me from doing anything?

  Apparently she’s not afraid of much, either. And the attraction I feel for her seems to be mutual, so, now’s my chance.

  It’s now or never, cowboy, I tell myself. Saddle up and get ready for the ride.

  Chapter 4 - Monica

  As Ramsey and I head back over to the table, I can’t believe I’m doing any of this. Meeting this SEAL— who was a stranger to me until today— for a drink, hanging out at a bar with a bunch of guys who clearly don’t want me here, letting him touch me in public.

  And touching him back. In fact, I suppose I started things by putting my hand on his.

  It’s so not like me. But I can’t seem to help myself. What started out as curiosity— or was that just an excuse?— has grown to become something closer to interest, with a lot of attraction thrown in for good measure.

  Maybe I’m tired of being the good girl, doing everything right. Perhaps it’s time for a change.

  I feel sure that things will still be awkward with everyone, and I wish that somehow Ramsey and I could be alone. But when we get back, the attitude at the table is more friendly and fun than it was when I first arrived. Apparently, the alcohol has kicked in, and everyone has loosened up a bit.

  “Long Island, nice choice,” says one of the guys, nodding at my drink.

  “That’s what I was thinking,” Ramsey says.

  Every time I hear his voice, my spine tingles; my whole body tingles. I’m glad that he likes my drink choice, because I only ordered what my college friends and I used to get on special during girls’ nights out. I don’t drink often, but I need some liquid courage in this situation.

  “So, is everyone here going on the next deployment?” I ask, trying to get to know them, even though what I really want to ask is how long the couples have been together. But I know that’s way too much of a “girl question” to ask around a bunch of guys who already make fun of me for being too “girly.”

  “Everyone but Jensen and Mark here,” someone says. I don’t know any of their names yet, and none of them introduce themselves to me. “They’re private contractors.”

  “I see. And I’m guessing by the looks of things that Jensen and Ramsey and…”

  Crap. I forget his name.

  “Harlow,” his girlfriend, Whitney, fills in for me, gracefully. She even anticipates my question. “And yes, they’re brothers.”

  “Brothers in life, brothers in combat,” Jensen says. “I served with the SEALs until recently. I was there when Harlow nearly got blown up.”

  “Excuse me?” I ask.

  “Someone who hasn’t heard of the great and heroic Harlow!” Ramsey announces, and everyone laughs.

  “Shut up, dude,” Harlow says, but it’s good- naturedly.

  “Harlow was significantly injured when a rescue helicopter they were in was shot down in enemy territory,” Whitney explains. “He made a remarkable recovery and turnaround.”

  I’m impressed, and trying to think of how to express it, when Jensen says, “Yeah, and all the while he was boning his physical therapist.”

  Whitney blushes and shakes her head, tsking at him, and I guess, “So, that must have been you?”

  “Sure was,” she says, grinning. “But he really didn’t need me anyway. He was fine all on his own.”

  “Oh, don’t say that,” Harlow says, pulling Whitney into his lap on the bar stool. “I’d never be fine without you.”

  “Oh my God,” says one of the airmen, pretending to gag. “Get a room, you two.”

  “We have a room and will be going there after this,” Harlow says, holding up his drink for a toast. But the other guys just roll their eyes at him.

  As the evening progresses, the team shares more stories of the brothers’ antics over the years, as well as tales about their unit in general. I’m touched by their comradery and loyalty. And I’m glad we’re all actually getting along.

  Midway through some stories, some guys show up— not in uniform but instead wearing leather motorcycle gear. Jensen introduces them as his MC friends, which Riley explains to me means “Motorcyle club. Don’t say gang or he’ll get offended.” They look a bit rough, but seem very nice, and I’m glad I’m no longer the only outsider to the group.

  After a while, one of the MC members says, “C’mon Jensen, you know we came to collect you. Let’s head to Billy’s.”

  “Not Billy’s,” Harlow groans.

  I look at him inquisitively. Billy has to be a fellow SEAL.

  “It’s another dive bar that Jensen and his motorcycle friends like to frequent,” Ramsey exclaims. “Billy’s Long Bar.”

  “Divier than this?” I ask, and everyone laughs.

  “Believe it or not, yes,” Harlow says. “My girl doesn’t let me go.”

  “Very funny,” Whitney says. “You’re free to do whatever you want. You’re just not free to have a happy girlfriend and do what you want, simultaneously.”

  We all laugh.

  Harlow obediently says, “You boys have fun. And you too, Riley. Hang on tight on that bike. My brother drives like a bat out of hell.”

  “Very funny,” Riley says. “And I know your next joke, from hearing it one too many times: the best way to solve the problem of too many lawyers is to put as many as possible on the back of a motorcycle while your brother’s driving it.”

  There are laughs all around.

  “It was great to meet you,” Riley gives me a wave. “And seriously. I bet you think it’s strange that a lawyer hangs out with a bunch of motorcycle club members, which I understand. I never thought I’d be riding around on a motorcycle myself. The things we do for love, right?”

  “Right,” I say, as if I would know.

  The last thing I did for love was wait around on a guy who didn’t really want me. There was no motorcycle invo
lved, nor much excitement at all, by the end.

  Most of the other guys get up too, some saying they’re going to Billy’s and others saying that those guys are crazy for staying out late the night before training, and that they themselves are going to be good little responsible service members and go home and go to bed. Riley and I stand up and exchange a quick hug before they take off.

  Soon, it’s just the four of us: Harlow, Whitney, Ramsey and me.

  As if sensing something, Whitney elbows Harlow and says, “Honey, let’s go home. You have a very long day tomorrow, and I want to make sure to get in my snuggle time.”

  “She calls it ‘snuggle time,’” Harlow says, with a wink. “Isn’t that cute? She doesn’t want everyone to know she’s a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets.”

  “Harlow!” Whitney protests, and slaps him on the butt, playfully.

  They’re really cute together.

  “I’ll just wait with the lady until she finishes her drink,” Ramsey says, and now it’s Whitney’s turn to wink at me.

  I’m on my second Long Island, and it’s difficult for me to finish it.

  “See you tomorrow,” Harlow says to me, or to Ramsey— or maybe to both of us.

  Whitney hugs me and says it was nice to meet me, and then they’re gone.

  “They’re a nice couple,” I say, mostly to have something to talk about, now that it’s just Ramsey and me.

  I don’t want things to feel awkward. But as I feel Ramsey’s hand reach for mine under the table, I realize that won’t be a problem.

  “So how do you like Albuquerque?” he asks.

  “It’s… nice,” I say, still unsure of my feelings about the city. “Definitely different from what I’m used to. Somewhat of a culture shock.”

  “Where are you based out of?”

  “Eglin Air Force base— in Florida.”

  “Oh yeah. Seems very different.”

  “Much greener,” I say. “More beachy than deserty.”

  “Sounds nice. I was born and raised here. I’ve only really been anywhere else because of the Navy.”

  He squeezes my hand under the table. I finish my drink, mostly due to nervousness. I feel like something big is about to happen. Like a middle schooler being asked out on my first date.