“Is that so?”
I nodded and took a third. I saw her eyes narrow when I began to smile. I pointed to my face.
“This is all I need to get into anyone’s pants.”
Her groan made me laugh and I took another step towards her.
“You are so like Roman. Both cocky men.”
Her eyes dropped to my dimples. All of us had them, and the infamous Zambrano blue eyes, all courtesy of our father.
“You should know, Cari. By now, you should be well-acquainted with how cocky I am.”
I was finally in front of her. Her breathing made her breasts touch my chest. She sucked in her breath when I brought a hand to the side of her face. Her eyes were focused on my chin.
She was shielding herself from me.
Protecting herself from me.
I didn’t like that.
“You’re tense.” I brushed my fingers along her jawline. “Need some stress relief?”
She was serious. Her breathing was shallow and when she finally looked up at me, the emotions I saw there took my breath away.
Raw emotion.
Fear.
Curiosity.
Intelligence.
But when I saw her need, that was it for me.
My hands fanned the sides of her face and I dove in.
My lips smashed against hers in a kiss so hot, I was certain the lights flickered.
7
Cari
Bad At Love,
Halsey
We made it to my bedroom without so much as a millimeter coming in between our lips. He was working on my pants as I undressed him. He began lifting my shirt and my hands pushed his down.
I didn't have a tank top on.
“No.”
I said the word and went back to kissing him. He continued to take try and take my blouse off. I moved my head back and made eye contact with him.
“No. Remember rule number one.”
His eyebrows curled in confusion as he stared into my eyes. He reached over and turned on the light switch.
The thing about Carlos is, he’s a smart man. He can read people like a book.
And mine was closed.
I moved away from him and turned off my bedroom light.
“What’s going on?”
Shaking my head, I moved in to kiss him. He didn’t take the hint. Carlos moved back and gently grasped my forearms.
“Why?”
“My rules, Carlos.”
“I remember your damn rules. Why?”
Pretending not to know what he meant, I asked, “Why what?”
The look he gave me said he didn’t buy my cluelessness. Even in the dim light coming through the bedroom window, I saw his determined look.
“Why, Cari?”
I felt the familiar anger rise within me.
“That’s how I like it. I want my top on and lights off. You can hike up my shirt.”
My hand slammed against the wall switch and a bedside lamp came on.
“Don't say I don't compromise.”
He stepped back and continued to look at me. It wasn't just any ordinary study either. His eyes were like x-rays and I shifted on my feet.
And I hated that feeling- like someone was getting to know me too well.
It made me want to close that door and move on to another house.
“What?”
My voice reflected the little remaining patience I had.
“I didn't pay too much attention to it before.”
I closed my eyes. This topic was headed into No Man’s Land, as in, I let no one talk about it or get in.
“Are you going to tell me or should I retrieve my crystal ball for further clarification?” I had no patience left.
His lips curved humorlessly. “The first time we’d made l-”
I stopped him there, hand raised.
I don't make love.
I have never. Made. Love.
Except maybe that last time before we fell asleep the night we first met.
I'm not sure I could even call it a one-night anymore. We’d had sex so many times since then.
“Had sex.”
His eyes marginally widened but he didn't comment. His jaw clenched, though.
“Had sex,” he spat. “That whole fucking night. Your tank top never came off, but you also never let me touch your back. Why? Is it ever going to come off? Will you ever let me touch you all over.”
I shrugged, and my hands rose in the air. “Take it or leave it.”
His silence made me uncomfortable again. Those electric blue eyes touched all the planes of my face and then narrowed on my eyes.
“Caridad-”
Ugh. Every time he said my full name, I knew he was getting serious.
Pronounced Kah-ree-dod not Kair-rhee-dad, my name meant charity in Spanish.
The irony of my name versus the circumstances of my life were not lost on me.
I’d had enough.
I launched myself at him and slammed my lips to his. He groaned and grabbed my ass. I felt his biceps flex and harden as he brought me up off the floor and against him. We were at eye-level as he devoured my mouth.
His strength made me wet.
“Fuck, Cari. You drive me crazy.”
“Ditto.”
Our kiss grew frantic.
“At least now you can't ghost me like you did after our first-”
“One night stand.”
I didn't give him an opportunity to make anything more of it than what it had been.
Never mind how my heart wanted to remember that night and replay it in my head.
Because it had been more than just a one night stand, but I would never admit it- at least not to him when I could barely utter the words to myself.
“Now that we’re in your house,” he said in between kissing my cheeks and neck, “you can't slip out.”
I pulled away and placed both palms on his cheeks.
“Are you going to fuck me or are you just going to comment on everything and not shut up?”
The grin he gave me made goosebumps spread along my skin.
“It's like that then?”
I smirked. “It'll always be like that, Los.”
His nostrils flared and he smacked my ass, making me moan, right before he devoured my mouth again. I closed my eyes and squeezed my legs around his waist tighter.
We both groaned.
Me because I felt his hard cock.
Him because I rubbed against it.
Immediately, he tore off my clothes, except my top and underwear, as I tore off his.
“I'm going punish you for that mouth of yours.”
I groaned. “You're going to pound into me?”
He tugged my head back with his grip on my hair. It wasn't anything harsh but damn, it made my clit throb.
“After I fuck that mouth.”
I closed my eyes, moaning. Carlos kissed me again, nibbling, sucking, and biting. I moaned when he bit my lower lip.
I dropped to my knees wanting his cock inside my mouth. This man had a controlled sexual energy that was consuming when he let it go.
And he'd let it go.
I soaked it up like a sponge did water.
I hurriedly undid his zipper.
He laughed. “Eager to taste me, angel?”
I looked up at him with a smirk. “Yes, but I won't be an angel.”
He laughed and passed his hand down my head and into my hair.
“You are my angel.”
Our eyes met-
His were intense after his admission.
Mine were wary.
In an effort to ease the uncomfortable moment, I slid his boxer briefs down and opened my mouth.
Carlos hissed when my mouth enclosed his huge cock.
“Fuck.”
I looked up and his head was thrown back. Sensing my eyes, he looked down at me. He placed a hand on my head and tenderly passed it down.
I shook my head and sucked him harder.
> “Cari!”
His head was thrown back again with his mouth open.
I sucked harder and he bellowed.
“Fuck!”
I felt him at the back of my throat and moaned.
“God damn it, caramelo.”
Hollowing my cheeks, I sucked hard. One of my hands played with his balls and the other gripped his ass.
“FUCK!” He was panting. “Get up, angel, before I shoot cum down your throat.”
Our eyes met and I took my other hand, both grabbing his ass, and brought him closer.
“Ughhh!”
Hot cum shot to the back of my throat. Carlos orgasming was one of the most erotic sights and sounds I'd ever seen and heard.
When his cock stopped sputtering, he looked down at me with consuming eyes that caused my skin to erupt in goosebumps.
Grabbing onto my upper arms, he brought me up to my feet. His eyes were blue flames as he worked on my underwear, picked me up, and threw me on the bed. I laughed as I bounced. He quickly took a few condoms out of his wallet, tossed them alongside me.
“Hopeful, huh?”
His movements were hurried and aggressive as he divested himself of his remaining clothes. The look he gave me made me throb.
He didn't even comment on my question.
Like a panther, he crawled to me. Pushing me on my back, he wedged in between my thighs.
His lick on my pussy made my back arch and my mouth scream.
My hands went to his hair as I held him there. I looked down at him only to catch those electric blue eyes focused on me.
Like a watchful predator.
I focused on him as he took a finger and slowly slid it inside me.
“Ahh…”
It felt amazing. My eyes closed as the feelings overwhelmed me.
He was incredible. Carlos had skills that should go on his resume.
He began rolling his tongue and I groaned.
“Cum for me, caramelo.”
My eyes opened and I saw his attention rapt on me.
He inserted a second finger and my back arched again. His mouth sucked my clit as he worked his fingers inside me.
“Carlos…”
My voice was breathy and pleading. My hips began moving against his mouth on instinct. Our eyes held each other's.
I closed my eyes, not able to handle that level of emotion.
That level of connection.
Intimacy.
“Give it to me.”
I screamed and came on his command. He was relentless on my clit as his fingers continued their assault.
The second orgasm rolled around. My heels dug into his back.
Before my storm had even calmed down, he'd slipped on a condom and surged within me.
“Carlos!”
My cries were repetitive, each louder than the one prior.
We tried two other positions and experienced several more orgasms before we were finally satiated.
8
Cari
Carlos was bad for my sleep.
We'd been like freaking animals going at it at night.
He never stayed the night.
I never allowed that and I knew it bothered him.
Too bad.
I just couldn't. I can't do it. I can't get close to him.
Yes, fine, it's cliché. I get it.
A woman with a crap past who has attachment issues and allows very few (ok, one person- Iza) people close to her to avoid having her heart broken, beaten, and eviscerated.
People can call me whatever, but they can't call me stupid.
I couldn't handle another episode like I'd had with Mom or Chris.
It would destroy me.
And Carlos?
Maybe in another lifetime, he would've been perfect for me.
If Caridad Lucero Zavala had grown up with both parents, hell, even just one. If she had not experienced the violent death of her mother, and nearly her own. If she hadn't been bounced from foster home to foster home. If she hadn't always felt unsafe and insecure. If she hadn't met a boy who became her brother. If he hadn't had to protect her from a sadistic, lecherous foster father. If that boy hadn't had to vouch for her to get her out of the system. If they hadn't grown as close as two real-blooded siblings did.
If she had been able to save him.
If that boy who’d grown into the most amazing man, hadn't died because she failed to save him.
Maybe she would have been different.
But she wasn't.
Because she’d failed him.
Failed.
I rested my head on my office door before I went in.
Please, Cari, don't do this now.
The ache in my heart made it skip a beat. He'd been gone for a few years but my soul mourned as if he had just left.
Oh, I've been told to get over it. I've been told that I have to move on.
Yada.
Yada.
Yada.
Lucky for them they've never lost a piece of their hearts, otherwise they'd know that their ignorant and unhelpful words did nothing except make me feel judged.
Anyone who has lost a piece of his or her heart knows that when you lose an angel, there is no time limit for grieving.
I kept away from those who told me to move on and were callous with their remarks. I didn't need that crap around me.
I stared at my computer looking over my appointments today. They’d squeezed in another new patient.
I couldn't say no.
Part of me knew I was compensating for Chris. The other part of me couldn't turn her back on anyone in need.
I met with my morning appointments, and headed to the hospital side afterwards for my periodic blood donation.
“Hey, Dr. Zavala. Ready for your bimonthly donation to the vampires?”
I laughed.
“You always make me smile, Lynn.”
I watched as the older woman straightened her glasses on her nose.
“How's the bank doing? Good on supply?”
She pursed her lips and shook her head.
“Actually, Dr. Zavala, We're pretty low.”
“What?” That was surprising. “Was there an emergency.”
“Yes. The drive-by at art fair.”
I slowly nodded my head. “I remember hearing about it on the news.”
The violence had been increasing lately. Izzy’s clinic was busier than ever. I knew that alone caused Roman to worry. He'd been after her to move the clinic to a safer area.
My stubborn best friend refused.
“Several patients needed transfusions.”
“I didn't know.”
“They're desperate. And one of the emergency patients had a hemolytic transfusion reaction. They saved him but the hospital is watching everyone now.”
I reached out as squeezed her hand.
“Well, let me do my part. Hopefully it alleviates the shortage some.”
She patted mine. “You're a saint, Dr. Zavala.”
I laughed and said, “Not quite that, but thank you.”
I walked on in and sat down. Grabbing my phone, I scrolled through patient results, upcoming appointments, and managed to read about a new cancer study.
Even with orange juice and a spinach salad, I typically had to sleep a few hours more than I otherwise would after donating. I looked forward to my salad at home. My phone rang and a smile spread my lips.
I couldn't help it.
I knew it was him.
“Yes?”
“What? No hello?”
“Why bother with niceties? You just make booty calls.”
He snorted. “Damn it, Caridad. I want more than that. You're the one with issues. Not me.”
“I wish you were here.”
I heard the smile in his voice when he said, “Oh yea?”
“Yes. So you could see my eyes rolling.”
“Caridad. Keep it going, baby. I'm going to redden that ass.”
I scoffed and he laughed.
/>
“Let's not pretend you don't like it.”
I shook my head. “Listen, can't do anything tonight. I'm extra tired from giving blood. I’m almost done here. I'm going home, taking a long soak, and I'm going to sleep.”
“We don't have to do anything, Caridad. I cleared my schedule tonight to be with you. We can spend time together without sex.”
My head started to pound.
“Not this again, and not now. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight.”
I didn't let him get a word in. I didn't have the energy to fight him or myself.
Not right now, anyway. I was getting the mother of all migraines.
God, I was a miserable bitch.
I know I wasn't being fair to him, or myself, frankly, but part of me just couldn't do it.
I was scared to get attached to someone.
You are already attached, that damn nagging voice said.
“All done. Thank you, Dr. Zavala.”
“I'm happy to do it.”
I gathered my stuff and headed out the door. Remembering that I needed to stop by the office again for a quick moment, I made my way there. I walked into Dr. Leideman’s office. Beth wanted my opinion on a few cases. I hadn't bothered to close the door, as I saw the stack of charts she had readied for me. Curious, I opened the first one and leaned against the desk, reading it over.
Before I could turn my head to see who had closed the door, a body pushed against me making my side hurt against the desk.
“What?”
I inhaled and went to turn my head but a hand harshly pushed my head back against my shoulder.
“Miss me, Carry Carry?”
He whispered it into my upturned ear.
My skin broke out into goosebumps and stomach flipped in repulsion.
“Let. Me. Go.”
“You owe me,” he snarled into my ear.
In quick succession, I elbowed him, stomped on his foot, and kicked back at his groin. While I didn't practice any martial arts like Iza, it paid to have her as my BFF and self-defense teacher.
“Fuck,” he groaned. “You'll pay for that.”
“I already have, several times over. What the fuck are you doing here? The deal was you were never supposed to return.”
I wanted to kill him.
So. Fucking. Bad.
He was still leaning down, cupping his dick.
“I paid my debt to society, Carry Carry.”
Carlos: A Zambrano Family Novel Page 5