He spoke with halting words, grimacing as he walked.
I hated this man with every fiber of my being. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought of a million ways to kill this son of a bitch without blowback on me. He deserved it.
He deserved to be burned alive like he'd done to my mother.
And nearly to me.
“You should've paid a lot more than what you did.”
My breathing was harsh. When my phone rang, I went to grab it but his words stopped me.
“I wouldn't. We have some business we need to discuss. Without interruption.”
I saw that it was Carlos again, but let it ring.
“We have nothing to discuss. And certainly not here.”
Smiling, he made his way behind the desk, sat, and propped his feet up.
“Get your fucking feet off the desk and get the fuck out. This isn't even my office.”
Shrugging, he said, “Well, we could do it here, or where I caught you stealing the medicine years ago. Whatever you want.”
I fucking seethed. This was the second time he'd popped up. It had been years since I’d last had the infuriating displeasure of seeing him.
About three years ago, he'd caught me stealing meds for Chris. No matter how hard I’d tried, I hadn't been able to get him into a trial- he was too far gone for their research purposes.
I had been beyond angry. I ended up sneaking into the room where they'd kept the treatments. At that point, I hadn't cared what could have happened to me or my license.
I only cared about Chris.
As it turned out, the meds made him temporarily better. I had been correct in my belief that they would have made a difference.
The problem was, I didn't have access to all the medication. If I had, it could have made a huge difference.
At least my actions allowed Chris six more months.
And I would never regret what I did to give him that.
But in the process of me getting them, this asshole had caught me.
And fuck, did I want to wrap my hands around his throat and squeeze until this motherfucker stopped breathing air.
“Report it. It doesn't matter anymore. And no one will believe the word of a convict over mine.”
He laughed and stared at me a few moments.
“Now, you don't think I'm that stupid do you?”
My silence was my answer.
“Oh, Carry Carry, never underestimate your opponent. Never. You don't think that after I caught you all those years back, that I didn't get the security video, too?”
My eyes widened, and so did his lips.
“Ahhh. I see you didn't expect that. Listen, I've given you a huge break. You paid me and I stayed away for three years.” He held up three fingers. “Three whole years!”
He slapped his leg and stood.
“But money doesn't go as far as it used to. I need a place to stay.”
His fucking eyes looked at me up and down. A smile slowly spread on his lips.
“I think we'd make damn good roommates and maybe even a little more.”
“In your fucking dreams you son of a bitch.”
He laughed. “Maybe so, but that doesn't mean it can't happen, Carry Carry.”
“What will it take, Manny?”
He sat back down and sighed happily.
“Now that's what I need to be hearing, Carry Carry.”
“Quit. Calling. Me. That.”
He shrugged. “I like it. And in this relationship-”
“We don't have a relationship.”
He shrugged again. “No, no. We do. I am the blackmailer. You are my target. We could be more than that, but I figure we can work up to that. You’d always caught my eye, Cari.” He whistled. “You had a good body even as a teen.”
I wanted to vomit. I had to grab the side of the desk. It was all becoming too much. The blood I’d donated and being too long without food, drink, or rest.
I didn't think I could drive home at this point. I always had a small window when I was able to do my post-donation routine- otherwise, I was useless. It was just how my system responded to the blood loss.
“You are a sick fuck.”
He tsked.
“No cursing. What would your mother say if she were here?”
I slapped my hand down so hard on the desk, I knew I'd popped capillaries in my palm.
“Don't you fucking talk about her! You killed her, motherfucker.”
I saw red. Whatever little energy I had I used when I literally leapt over the desk and scratched his face. I’d landed two good punches before he backhanded me, causing me to fall and bang against the wall.
“You fucking bitch. You're going to regret that.”
He crouched low, wiping his mouth and looking at the blood on his hand.
“Really pay for it.”
He grabbed my hair and made my head come up. He was within inches of me. I was dazed between the after-effects of the donation and the bang against the wall.
“I would've left you alone if you would've given me a deposit. I would've gone away. But now, bitch,” he got closer. “I'm not leaving. I'm going to bleed you dry, Carry Carry. You're going to regret that shit. And you know what? I'm going to fucking enjoy it. Cash or ass,” he kissed me roughly, and continued, “I'm going to get it all from you. And you know what? Fight me. Fight me!!” He squeezed my cheeks together. “Because I like a fight. I like it rough. I want to pull your hair, and stick my dick in your pussy, asshole, and mouth. And I want to do it so rough, that you scream for mercy but you can't because you're gagging on my dick.”
He moved away an inch.
“I will have one or all of your holes. You remember who’s in control here, Caridad. I will have you, your money, and your body, or I'll take that little medical license from you.”
“Fuck you. Get out of my face.”
It came out as a mumble.
He laughed, let me go, and stood. Walking over to my purse, he reached in for my wallet.
“$100? A big shot like you only has that on you?”
“FUCK YOU!”
He tsked.
“See you later. Have some more cash when I come back, Carry Carry, or be prepared for my dick.”
I watched him walk out as he left Beth’s office. I couldn't stop shaking.
I was tired. I wouldn't be able to make it home.
It was either Uber or Carlos.
Carlos would ask questions.
But I felt safe with him. What if Manny followed me?
I managed to stand and held onto the desk until my head stopped spinning. Reaching for my phone, I dialed Carlos. While it was ringing, I haphazardly tried to straighten the desk out.
“Change your mind?”
His voice comforted me like a warm cloak over my cold and shaking body.
“Can you can pi-pick me up?”
“Caridad? What's wrong? Are you ok?”
My hand tightened around the phone as tears formed and fell from my eyes.
“I'm fine. I…I gave blood, probably went too far with it, and I'm feeling really weak.”
“Where are you?”
“Hospital. I'll be in the lobby.”
“Be there in ten baby.”
I took out my mirror and looked at the mess of my face. Getting some face powder, I tried to fix myself up as best as I could.
Then I began scrolling through plausible explanations for my current state.
9
Carlos
My pace was quick when I entered the sliding glass doors. Cari was sitting in a chair but hadn't noticed me. That was a good thing, since I wouldn't be able to school my reaction.
Her face.
It looked like she'd been in a fight.
Of course, getting information out of her would be difficult.
Had someone hurt her?
I could feel rage beginning to build. It took everything in me to keep it at bay. Cari wasn’t the type of woman to respond to macho displays of temp
er.
I would scare her.
Although she hadn’t been open about her past, I could predict that much.
“Caridad.”
She startled and looked up at me.
“What happened?”
She shook her head and then squeezed the armrests of the chair.
“Fuck. I'm so lightheaded. I shouldn't have done that. Vertigo.”
I needed to address pressing matters first before asking about her face.
“What can I do?”
She pointed to the vending machine. She was loopy.
“Anything with sugar.”
I walked over and bought her favorites, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and apple juice. I had opened the bottle for her by the time I reached her.
“Here, caramelo.”
“Thank you.”
Sitting next to her, I opened the candy wrapper. I watched as she peeled the liner from the cup, and she gifted me with a small smile.
“What?”
She took a bite and answered, “You pay too much attention to me.”
Grinning, I asked, “Why do you say that?”
“You selected my favorite candy and juice.”
Shrugging my shoulders, I replied, “They’re popular choices.”
She laughed after sticking the other half of the first cup into her mouth. She didn’t buy my small lie.
“Right. So now, I'm not unique.”
Chuckling, I said, “You are one of a kind, Caridad.”
It killed me to wait until she finished eating, but I did.
“Can you take me home? I don't feel well enough to drive.”
She placed her trembling hands between her legs trying to hide them from me, but I saw them. Sure, it was cold and that could've been the reason she trembled. Or, it could've been the blood donation. If it was either of those two reasons though, why would she try to hide such a normal, simple thing?
She wouldn't.
She was trembling about something else.
“Baby, of course I can.”
She nodded and when she made to stand, she lost her balance and sat back down.
“I got you, caramelo.”
She pursed her lips in frustration but nodded. I helped her stand and tightened my arm around her.
“The sugar should kick in in a few minutes.”
I kissed the top of her head. “I’m not in a hurry to let you go.”
She looked quickly up at me and groaned. “Damn it.” She looked straight again.
“Vertigo again?”
“Yes. And a pounding migraine behind my eyes.”
“You know I want to carry you to the car.”
“You know that I’ll slap the back of your head if you try.”
Laughing, I led her to the passenger side and helped her in. Once I was seated, I started it up. Before heading out, I sat looking forward, gripping the steering wheel tightly. This was new territory for me.
I wasn’t this unconfident man.
I was self-assured and decisive. I always knew what I wanted and went for it, guns cocked and blazing. If I saw the markings I saw on Cari on another woman, I’d demand to know what had happened. If it had been the doing of a person, I’d demand a name and find the bastard to put him down.
But Cari was different. The demeanor she presented on the outside was nothing like the woman inside. Outside, she was strong, confident, and personable but aloof. That aloofness kept her from forming bonds with people too deeply.
Inside?
She didn’t give up much, but I saw through her armor. She was scared and hurt. She was one shatter away from completely breaking.
Fuck if I’d be the one to do that. I was going to hold my fragile vase, and help her keep her pieces together.
But I’m not sure Cari saw that with me. I think all she visualized was a man with a hammer in his hand.
I had to go about this the smart, methodical way.
If I was going to tame the wild, skittish, hurt animal inside Cari, it wasn't going to be with an over-display of masculine prowess to satisfy my ego, or the expectations of how a man in my position should act.
I had to take it slow and respect the boundaries she erected until I found an opening to squeeze in through.
“What’s wrong?”
I felt her hand on mine, which was still squeezing the steering wheel to death.
“I need to know what happened, Cari. You have to know that it’s eating at me. I didn’t want to flip out on you, baby, but you gotta know- I’m going crazy. I have to know what happened.”
I looked over to her and saw her retreat in her shell.
“Fuck, Cari. Help me out here. I’m giving you as much space as you need, but I need a sign that it’s not for nothing.”
The small smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Carlos, it’s fine. It was my fault. I donated blood and spent too much time reviewing a few records one of my colleagues wanted me to review. Before I knew it, when I stood up, I became unsteady and fell. I’m fine, ok? It was just an accident.”
I let my breath out. Something felt off to me. Call it Mother’s Intuition- my mother’s. She gifted all of her children with a bullshit detector. My mother was an empath, and as children we could never pull one over her. We couldn't hide anything. My father was like that, but it was a skill he honed rather than that of my mother, which was a gift from above.
“I promise.”
Her words didn’t ring true. But what else could it be? She was a renown oncologist. Cari was loved by her patients, staff, and colleagues. There couldn’t be any other explanations.
I’d have to take her word for it.
For now.
10
Carlos
I opened my eyes, waking suddenly. I’d had a dream about the night I’d picked Cari up from the hospital after donating blood.
Cari had actually allowed me to stay that night- something that had surprised us both.
The sugar she'd drank and eaten had helped some, but she had still been unsteady. She’d asked me to stay and help her with the bath. I’d thought for a minute that she would finally allow me to see her body fully, but she had only asked me to run a warm bath. She'd told me to get comfortable, that she wouldn't take long.
After Cari had finished with her bath, she’d come to bed, where I had reclined watching television.
Her face had looked worse. A lot worse.
I’d decided it was better not to address it. She’d taken a huge step by asking me to stay. I would not make her regret it.
“Feeling better, caramelo?” I had asked.
I'd never seen her so tired. She’d shaken her head in answer to my question.
“Exhausted. You sure you don't mind staying the night?”
“You really have to ask?”
Her smile, even small, had lit up the dim room. “I don't have the energy for any extracurricular activities.”
Laughing, I’d playfully said, “You could always let me do all the work. No complaints here. But no, caramelo, I want you to rest.”
Fuck, she’d been gorgeous, even as tired as she’d looked.
“Will you hold me?”
My heart had stuttered. I’d loved that she needed me and had finally been able to ask for my help.
“With pleasure, caramelo.”
She'd felt so damn good in my arms that night. Cari had quickly fallen asleep.
And so had I.
Coming back to the present, I picked my phone up from the nightstand and saw that it was 3:38AM.
Looking over at Cari, I made sure I wouldn't disturb her. I leaned over, placed a kiss on her forehead, and got out of bed.
Yea, I watched her sleep. I couldn't help it. She was beautiful.
And smart.
And feisty.
And completely unreachable.
Her heart was captive behind intricate locks and one-thousand foot walls.
I remembered Roman telling me about Izzy, but there were dif
ferences between both best friends. Izzy had been afraid that her father would find her, and had been afraid to trust because of a cheating ex. She was also scared Roman would hate her because of her family.
She'd had no idea the depth of feelings my brother had for her, and would undoubtedly have for the remainder of his life.
Cari was keeping things from me, and I hadn't had the slightest idea what it was or why. Maybe it wasn't for any horrible reason other than she didn't want to hash out her past. I could understand that.
We’d moved into a routine of sorts in the last month since I'd picked her up after her blood donation. Before then, I'd never stayed the night. Now, she didn't mind as much. Some people could say I’d worn her down. I'd like to think we were making progress.
Whatever it was, I was happy for it.
She hadn't told me anything else about that night, so I would need to take her word for it until I had reason not to.
I'd had a lot of meetings as me and my staff planned the opening of another hotel. I didn't have the time to wine or dine Cari, and neither did she. We had time for one thing, though.
Sex.
Lots of it.
She had an insatiable appetite.
I smirked.
So did I.
We were beyond compatible in that area.
My feet made little noise as I made my way to her kitchen for a drink. Grabbing a cup, I used the fridge’s water dispenser on the door. As I drank the cool liquid, my eyes scanned her house.
It was just like her office, and so unlike Izzy.
No paper was out of place. Tabletops were clear. There was absolutely no clutter. Everything was orderly. Even her bookshelf was alphabetized.
I snickered.
She was a perfectionist, OCD, neat freak.
From the short time I'd known her, I'd learned a few things.
She tried to keep people at a distance, never becoming too emotionally attached.
Except for Izzy.
She was a control freak.
This personality type wasn't always the easiest to deal with, but even as my mind whispered the silent warning, I shrugged it off.
It was too late.
I’d become enamored of her.
It was more than that, really.
I wasn't afraid of relationships. I’d had a few that hadn't ended well. My last one was the worst. Of all my brothers, I was the one least afraid of a ball and chain.
Carlos: A Zambrano Family Novel Page 6