When It's Right

by Jennifer Ryan

  Ken took a menacing step toward her. Blake shoved her behind him and blocked her from Ken. Pissed off, she stepped around Blake and glared up at Ken. “You have something you want to say to me?”

  Ken’s gaze swept from Blake to her grandfather and down to her. “You won’t always have them around to defend you.”

  “Then you’d do well to remember what happened the last time we met up alone.”

  Ken’s whole face turned red with rage, but he turned on his heel and walked away.

  Blake tried to go after him, but Gillian caught him by the wrist and pulled him back. Too angry to say anything, he took her hand and walked with her toward Justin and her grandparents.

  “What the hell happened the last time you two got into it? I told you I’d take care of him if he messed with you.”

  She turned to face him and the cold glare in his eyes. She’d never had anyone who wanted to defend her and take care of her. Perhaps if she had, she’d have found it within her to be a little more accommodating. But taking care of herself, Justin, and Boots had become her only source of pride, and Blake had stomped all over it.

  “Of course you’ll take care of him.”

  “Yes, I’m going to fire his ass.”

  “Because I can’t take care of him myself, right?”

  “No, because he’s an asshole.”

  “Now you want to take over Boots, too, because I can’t possibly do that on my own either.”

  She pulled her arm free of Blake’s grasp and headed for Justin, who ran for her, his brows drawn into a line of worry.

  Blake caught up to her. “Damnit, Gillian, listen to me.”

  “You have to eat extra vegetables,” Justin said, stopping beside both of them.

  “I’ll eat a whole crop if your sister will listen to reason.”

  “Reason. There’s no reason. There is only you telling me that I can’t take care of myself or Boots.”

  “That’s bullshit, and you know it. You raced around that track like the hounds of hell were trailing you. The whole time I stood by terrified something would happen to you.”

  “I’m not Abigail,” she shouted.

  He grabbed her arms and held her tight so she’d listen. “No, you’re the woman I love and can’t live without. If something happened to you, that would be the end of me. Gillian, don’t you see, I can’t watch you risk your life like that again.”

  The sincerity of his words hit her heart. He meant it. He’d be devastated if something happened to her. She felt it all the way to her soul. He loved her beyond words or reason.

  She didn’t know what to do with that, or the overwhelming emotions swelling inside her, filling her eyes with tears and squeezing her heart. She couldn’t stand there and feel all her emotions overwhelming her, crushing her. She ran.

  Gillian bolted up the road. Blake tried to go after her, but Dee grabbed his arm and stopped him.

  “Let her go.”

  His chest went tight and his jaw locked as he watched her jump into her truck and take off. “I made her cry.” Every ounce of misery in his soul poured out with those words.

  “She’ll be fine. It just hit her that you love her.”

  “She knows I love her.”

  “Beyond you telling her you love her, you just showed her how much. You scared her. No one has ever loved her beyond everything. No one has ever been unreasonable about protecting her. No one has ever put her first. She doesn’t know how to deal with that.”

  Blake stared at the empty road that Gillian disappeared down. “She ran away from me.”

  “She’ll be back. Give her time to settle her heart. Once she sorts this out, she’ll be ready to settle into compromise with you. She won’t feel like she has to hold up the world on her own. She’ll know that she has you to lean on.”

  “I want her to know that she can count on me. I want her to know that I’m here for her. She doesn’t have to do everything herself.”

  “She knows that. Now. Give her time to get used to it.”

  “I didn’t get to give her the card I made.” Justin leaned against Blake’s leg.

  Blake automatically put his hand on Justin’s shoulder. “What card, buddy?”

  “Her birthday card. I made it at school today.”

  Blake stared at Bud and Dee, feeling the bottom drop out of his heart. “It’s her birthday?”

  Bud shrugged. “We didn’t even realize.”

  Blake felt as disheartened as Bud looked.

  “She always forgets,” Justin said.

  “How can she forget her own birthday?”

  “Dad never did anything for our birthdays. Gillian takes me out for dinner. I get to have whatever dessert I want. Last year, I asked when her birthday was, and she told me. I made her a card at preschool and a clay fish. Today at school, when we were practicing the date and time, I remembered that her birthday is today. I asked my teacher if I could make her a card.”

  Blake felt like shit. He didn’t know how to fix this. She’d done an amazing thing today. She’d brought Boots back from near death to racing and winning. She’d ridden him like a pro. Blake hadn’t congratulated her, he’d fought with her. The problem with Ken overshadowed everything. That threat needed to be eliminated.

  He didn’t even have a gift for her. Hell, he didn’t even know it was her birthday. He should have asked for the date by now. Pissed off at himself, he should have known.

  “You know what, Justin? I don’t think we should ever let her forget her birthday again. It’s about time she realized that having ­people love her means they want the best for her and that she’s important. I think Gillian needs a birthday party.”

  Dee’s eyes lit up and Bud smiled. They hadn’t had a party at the ranch in a long time.

  “I think we should give Gillian a real surprise,” Blake added. Gillian was already surprised by how much he loved her. She had no idea how deeply. He planned on showing her.

  Chapter 26

  Gillian turned down a long dirt road a few miles from the ranch, parked, got out, and climbed on the warm hood, her back to the windshield and her legs crossed. She sat for a long time staring at the rolling expanse of grass that gave way to the trees and mountains. Arms folded over her chest, her head resting on the glass, she simply took in the majestic scenery and thought about her life—­and Blake.

  Her thoughts settled, the way she’d settled onto the hood of the truck. The quiet of the land settled into her, and for a moment she thought of the hustle and bustle of the city and how far away San Francisco seemed from her life, from her thoughts.

  If she’d been in San Francisco, she’d have gone to the wharf and let the rolling ocean soothe her mind. Now she didn’t have the wind blowing off the sea or the fog to obscure the city and wrap itself around her in a misty blanket. Not here.

  No, here she didn’t have the ocean. She had something better. She had Blake. He loved her. She hadn’t really thought about what that meant in her life.

  He’d nearly lost his mind over Ken and her racing Boots. Underlying it all, he wanted to protect her because he loved her.

  She hadn’t expected that. She hadn’t been ready for that kind of depth of emotion from him. She couldn’t expect him to love her and not be affected by the things she did or said. She couldn’t expect him to be a passive participant in her life. She had to let him in and trust him to take care of her when she needed it. Even when she didn’t ask for it. She’d handled Ken once. But even she had to admit this thing with Ken was getting out of hand. Maybe letting Blake handle him was the right thing to do.

  The right thing to do. She didn’t know what that was or how to go about doing it where Blake was concerned. She didn’t have any experience with counting on someone to catch her when she fell. Usually, she just braced for the impact and picked herself up. Knowing Blake would throw himself
down and give her a safe, soft place to fall was difficult to take in. It overwhelmed her heart and frightened her a little to think that if she lost it—­him—­she would lose something vital to her life.

  Blake sat on the porch steps watching the road. She’d be back. When, was another matter.

  Over dinner, they plotted and planned a birthday party she’d never forget. To pull it off, they’d have to deceive her, but he hoped in the end she’d be happy.

  Right now, she wasn’t very happy with him. But he’d fix that as soon as she came home, because his world tilted out of balance when she wasn’t with him.

  What if she didn’t want to be a permanent part of his life? He couldn’t lose her. He couldn’t live without her. He’d just have to teach her to lean on him and trust him. The only way to do that was to show her every day that he was hers to keep.

  Underlying everything, she feared losing him, because in her tumultuous life nothing and no one had ever been a permanent part of her world. Nothing good ever happened to Gillian before she came to the ranch. Her body had healed, but her mind and her heart were still entrenched in the belief that she had only herself to rely on. No matter how close they got, she was always waiting for him to leave and for their relationship to fall apart. Not going to happen. But she didn’t believe that. Well, he’d prove it to her every day for the rest of his life if she let him.

  She sought him out during the day just to say hi. He often thought she wanted to make sure he was there, somewhere, and that he was real. So many times over the last several weeks, she made him feel like he was such a gift in her life. He tried to give her that feeling back, even by half, but today’s events proved he’d done a piss-­poor job. He’d spend the rest of his life doing it better.

  Worried about her, his gut tightened with anticipation. She’d only been gone a few hours, and he missed her. He wanted to work things out.

  He heard her truck before he saw it come around the bend. He waited for her to get out and make her way up the path. He didn’t stand up to greet her. Man, she was a sight for sore eyes. Whatever they’d argued about earlier was so insignificant that it had blown away like sand in a windstorm. Every time he saw her, he was struck by her amazing beauty. Even in the night, her hair morphed from blonde to red to brown as it swayed at her back. He hated the worry lines on her forehead. She didn’t stop at the bottom of the steps but barreled right up them and launched herself into his arms and buried her face in his neck.

  Finally, he felt whole again.

  Gillian couldn’t help the tears or the catch in her voice. “I’m sorry, Blake.”

  His arms tightened around her. “Sweetheart, there’s nothing to be sorry about. We disagreed. That’s all. I just want to keep you safe. I can’t help myself. I’m selfish. I want to keep you with me forever.”

  She pulled back and wiped her eyes, then stood on a lower step and tried for a compromise. “I’m not turning over Boots’s training to you or Ken. He’s mine. I’ve worked with him all this time. I’m not letting either of you take over—­”

  “Okay.”

  “—­I realize there’ll be other horses at the race that might be better, but I want—­”

  “Okay.”

  “—­a chance to see what he and I can do.” Blake smiled at her with that half grin she loved so much. “Did you say okay?”

  “Yes. Boots is your horse. If you want to train him, I won’t stop you or interfere. But . . .”

  “No buts,” she said, concerned.

  “But someone else rides him. I can’t watch you do that again. It damn near stopped my heart today. You came here hurt, sweetheart.” His voice turned rough with emotion. “I can’t stand to see you hurt again. You’ve proven you can train and ride Boots, and I’m proud of you. I really am. But I’m begging you, please, for my sanity and heart’s sake, let someone else ride him.”

  The possibility of her getting hurt scared him. Yes, even Blake could be afraid. For her. Not so much for him to ask of her, she agreed to compromise. “Deal. But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop riding him. I’ll leave the racing to someone else.”

  “I’m just asking that you don’t risk your life, because when you do, you risk mine, too. I can’t even think of living my life without you.”

  She leaned forward and combed her fingers through his golden brown hair. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him. She went willingly. His lips met hers, and she melted into him. The kiss was soft and filled with love. He tasted of coffee and restrained impatience. He’d been waiting for her a long time. Not just tonight. Like her, he’d been waiting his whole life to find someone to love and be loved by.

  She thought about turning on the heat and getting Blake riled enough to take her up to bed, but they still needed to talk about Ken. She wanted to feel Blake’s hands and mouth on her body and know this dissension between them was over, but they’d never settle anything that way.

  Blake pressed one long, soft kiss to her lips, tore his lips from hers, and stood up. Finding himself towering above her, he frowned and walked down the steps to the path. She stood on the second step to face him. Face-­to-­face. She appreciated his gesture. He understood her. Intimidating her with his size and height was an unfair advantage he never exploited with her.

  “About Ken.”

  She sucked in a breath and opened her mouth to defend herself, but Blake touched his finger to her lips to stop her.

  “Listen.” He dropped his hand, and she closed her mouth. “Jeff told me today wasn’t the first time Ken came after you. He found the two of you in the stable. Ken had backed you into a stall door. He said he came in just in time to save you before Ken did something suicidal.”

  Meaning Blake would kill him if he touched her.

  She stepped down to the path and walked a few steps away, keeping her back to him.

  She hated to think Ken was more than she could handle. She wanted to tell Blake, It’s fine. Nothing to worry about. She’d keep her distance and avoid Ken at all costs.

  Ken was a threat Blake wanted to eliminate. If some woman was causing Blake trouble, she’d want to protect him and get that person away from him at all costs. She couldn’t blame him for wanting to do the same for her.

  Ken was too aggressive, refusing to take a hint or even an outright snub. He didn’t really have an interest in her outside the fact that he wanted to have sex with her. Ken’s motivation for harassing her came from his underlying hatred of Blake. Ken wanted Blake’s job, training the best horses and having the money that went with it.

  “We managed to come to a compromise on Boots. Let’s find a middle ground with Ken,” Blake coaxed.

  “There is no middle ground. He’s an asshole. He’ll always be an asshole. I want you to fire him.” In over her head, she’d concede this one to Blake. Actually, she’d trust him to handle Ken for her. “The time in the stables isn’t the only time he got too close.”

  “Now I’d really like to pound my fist into his face and make him bleed for touching you. Since that’s useless, though it would be satisfying, I’ll settle for the fact that Bud and I fired him today.”

  “What?”

  “Your grandfather made it clear to everyone on this ranch. This is your home. Anyone who made it uncomfortable for you to be here, or did something that you didn’t like, would be fired. No exceptions. No excuses. Ken’s made a nuisance of himself with you. He’s neglected his work. His primary job was to work with the horses that ­people board here. He’s gotten into the habit of transitioning his work to others so he can spend time training the racehorses. I’ve warned him several times that he needed to do his job.”

  “I can’t believe you guys actually fired him for me,” she whispered, touched deeply.

  “If someone had been making things difficult for Justin, you’d want them gone immediately. That’s how your grandfather and I feel about you. As much
as you want to take care of Justin and keep him safe, I want the same for you. You aren’t alone anymore, Gillian. You don’t have to take care of everything yourself.”

  “When I left, I didn’t worry once about Justin. I knew I could count on you to take care of him.” She closed the distance between them and stood on tiptoe to put her arms around his neck and look him in the eyes. “For the first time in my life, I let the worry slip away. I let someone else carry the burden. I didn’t worry about Justin getting something to eat, that he got his bath and went to bed safe and sound. I didn’t think about the problems with Ken. I sat and was quiet with myself, so I could hear what it is I want.”

  “What do you want, sweetheart?” He sat on the porch steps and drew her down onto his lap with her head on his shoulder.

  “When I brought Justin here, I wanted him to have the childhood he deserved, a second chance to grow up like a normal kid. That was for him. I had no idea what I wanted for myself, but this place felt like the place I needed to be, too. Tonight, I realized I like helping run the ranch. I like working with the horses. I’d like to continue working with the sick and injured horses. Maybe take in more abused and neglected racehorses. I’ll rehabilitate them. I’ll help them find their way back to what they used to be, the way I did with Boots today.”

  “I think that’s a great idea, sweetheart. You’ve done an amazing job with Boots. You’re so diligent about learning everything you can from Dr. Potts and those books he gave you. I could probably learn a thing or two from you.”

  “I doubt that. But I love being with the horses. More than anything, Blake, I like being with you. I feel my best when I’m with you. I love you, Blake. I want to be here with you. This is my home, and I don’t want anyone or anything to spoil it for us.”

  Blake scooped her off his lap and into his arms, stood, and walked into the house, kicking the door shut behind him with his boot. They’d talked enough for one night. He had a need for her that started somewhere deep inside him and flowed up to every part of him until his every breath was an ache of wanting her.