How to Keep a Boy from Kissing You

by Tara Eglington

  ‘Get a grip, get a grip, get a grip!’ I cried as Hayden’s face flashed up before me again.

  But my mind wasn’t listening to common sense. It was running away, down treacherous trails, crying, You can’t catch me.

  Maybe he finds you unattractive, it called back to me in a singsong voice.

  I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. No, he couldn’t think that. He’d told me this very evening that I was ‘exquisite’. Hadn’t he meant it?

  This was ridiculous. What did I care if Hayden Paris found me attractive or not?

  I let out a laugh, suddenly realising how stupid the whole thing was. I was asking myself the very questions that I’d been terrified of inducing in Hayden by knocking back his kiss. Another moment and I would be wondering if I had bad breath!

  I grabbed my imagination by the scruff of the neck and shoved it firmly back in its box. Then I walked over to my pyjama drawer. I needed rest. No way were thoughts of Hayden Paris going to make me lose sleep.

  ‘Are you okay, Aurora?’ Cassie asked me the following evening at six o’clock.

  ‘I’m great!’ I stifled a yawn. ‘Raring to go.’

  ‘It looked like you were nodding off.’

  ‘Cass, how on earth could I fall asleep in one of these impossibly uncomfortable backstage chairs?’

  I was secretly asking myself the same question. Obviously when a person had suffered insomnia all the preceding night, involuntary lapses into unconsciousness were to be expected. I’d managed to block Hayden out of my thoughts, but not my own mortifying ‘kiss me, kiss me’ reaction. I’d finally dropped off at 4 am after deciding that it was a sign of my improved thespian skills.

  ‘I’m going to get you a coffee anyway,’ Cassie said, and returned several moments later with a steaming mug.

  ‘Thanks.’ I swallowed the bitter liquid gratefully. ‘So, any news on the Scott front?’

  Cassie blushed slightly. ‘We just went for coffee down the road.’

  So that was where she’d disappeared to. ‘And?’ I asked, feeling more awake as my curiosity kicked in.

  ‘And he held my hand,’ Cassie whispered, sounding ecstatic.

  ‘I told you!’ I cried. ‘Oh, this is the best thing that ever happened!’

  Now that my worries about the kiss were over, I lived it up onstage. I put all my energy into telling Shakespeare’s story — about two enemies who fall in love, one innocent girl, two bumbling law-enforcement officers, a prince and a world of grand balls and fun times. I tried several times to spot my mother in the audience but the lights were too bright. I really hoped she was enjoying it. I sent my best smiles to her section of the audience, knowing even if I couldn’t see her she’d be able to see me.

  Thankfully my stage fright had completely disappeared. I felt heady, like all my senses were enhanced. I never wanted the play to be over.

  ‘Man, I can’t wait for this play to be over,’ Alex said during intermission.

  He, Jelena, Cassie, Sara and I stood in the backstage kitchen, which was a hub of excitement.

  ‘Why?’ I asked.

  ‘Claire Linden — she’s so self-righteous. When I dance with her, she holds herself at a distance like I’ve got cooties or something. Talk about juvenile. I figure she has a thing for me.’

  I noticed Jelena’s paper cup of Coke was compressing dangerously in her left hand.

  ‘And is put out that I’m dating the hottest girl in school,’ Alex finished, wrapping his arm around Jelena’s waist. Her grip on her cup relaxed.

  ‘I think Claire’s just a bit shy,’ I said.

  Alex snickered. ‘Socially impaired is another way to put it. She’s a bit of a freak. She has this huge book called Shakespeare: The Invention of the Human that she carts around with her all the time.’

  I owned that book! The author, Harold Bloom, was a god.

  ‘She probably sleeps with it at night,’ Alex said scornfully. ‘Well, you can’t blame her. It’s the closest thing she’s going to get to a boyfriend. She hasn’t got a lot going on in this department.’ He pointed at his chest.

  ‘Tell me about it!’ Jelena gave a tinkling laugh. ‘Ever heard of a push-up bra?’

  ‘Jelena!’ I cried.

  ‘Ever heard of a plastic surgeon?’ Alex laughed along with Jelena. ‘We should use the profits from the play to set up a breast-job fund. Hers are barely more than mosquito bites.’

  To my horror, I realised Claire was standing just to our right, her eyes brimming with tears. She turned and dashed away.

  ‘She just heard you!’ I grabbed Jelena’s arm and pointed at Claire’s rapidly retreating figure.

  Alex shrugged. ‘She needed to hear the truth sometime. Maybe it’ll inspire her to start saving for the surgery.’

  I felt like slapping him. Instead, I dashed after Claire, Cassie and Sara at my heels.

  ‘I can’t believe you let him get away with saying those things,’ I told Jelena when we ran into her outside the women’s bathroom ten minutes later. ‘I only just managed to get Claire to stop crying.’

  Sara glared at Jelena. ‘She not only let him get away with it, she encouraged him. How could you, Jelena?’

  Jelena shrugged. ‘What was I supposed to do?’

  ‘Uh, not join in?’ Sara suggested.

  ‘Maybe you could get Alex to apologise,’ Cassie said as we walked back into the kitchen.

  ‘Apologise?’ Jelena gaped at her. ‘Oh, come on. It’s not that big a deal.’

  ‘Not a big deal?’ I cried. ‘You just crushed Claire’s feelings!’

  ‘She was asking for it, going after my boyfriend.’ Jelena took an unconcerned sip of her drink.

  I remembered the way Alex had behaved around Claire at the beginning of rehearsals — grabbing her around the waist, stroking her arm. She’d been the one resisting him, not the other way around.

  ‘I don’t think she was going after him, Jelena —’

  I stopped as Alex came back. He slung an arm around Jelena and me. ‘How’s cry-baby Claire?’

  I pulled myself out from under his arm. ‘You really hurt her feelings.’

  ‘Oh, relax, Aurora.’ Alex slung his arm around me again. ‘There’s nothing wrong with reminding people like Claire that she’s dreaming if she wants to hang out with or date people like us. I might have said it a little harshly, but it’s true.’

  ‘I’d hang out with her,’ I said.

  ‘Yeah, she’s probably more fun to hang out with than you and your elitist attitude,’ Sara muttered underneath her breath.

  I tried to push away the growing uneasiness I felt about Alex and got ready to go back onstage.

  The rest of the play raced along. Claudio grieved at Hero’s tomb when he realised his mistake in accusing an innocent woman; the marriage of a reborn Hero and suitably ashamed Claudio took place; Beatrice and Benedick once again tried to pretend they didn’t care about each other, but their friends soon exposed them by forging love letters from one to the other.

  ‘Here’s our own hands against our hearts,’ Hayden said, slipping his hand in mine. ‘Come, I will have thee; but, by this light, I take thee for pity.’

  ‘I would not deny you,’ I replied, ‘but, by this good day, I yield upon great persuasion; and partly to save your life, for I was told you were in a consumption.’ I grinned cheekily at him.

  Hayden was meant to say, ‘Peace, I will stop your mouth’, and kiss me, but on the first day of rehearsals Sara had kicked up such a huge stink about men silencing women that Mr Peterman had actually cut the line. Instead, we all broke into a dance and cheered when a messenger told us that Don John had been captured.

  And then it was over, and we were all linking hands and giving a bow. As I stepped forward, rows of people stood up.

  ‘A standing ovation! Well done, Princess!’ Hayden said.

  Of course, he nearly brought the house down.

  Just as I thought to look for my mother, the curtain fell.

  ‘P
arty time!’ Jeffrey yelled, and raced off into the wings.

  I pushed my way through the throngs of people in the audience, searching for my mother. After ten minutes of being crushed like a grape in a wine press, I decided to give up on my search till the crowd had thinned out a little. I’d use the time to change into my dress for the afterparty. Inspired by my secret admirer’s poem, I’d chosen a dress that twinkled with silver sequins, like a sky full of stars. I slipped it on, along with delicate silver heels, and headed back into the almost empty auditorium. Most of the parents had headed out towards their cars, so I made my way outside, passing groups of chattering parents, searching for Mum.

  Before long the autumn air nipped at my bare arms, so I retreated inside, taking a seat on the stage where it would be easy for her to spot me. She’d probably got caught up talking to someone — she loved socialising. Several people walked by and looked at me curiously, likely wondering why I was all dressed up and sitting on an empty stage. I made a show of looking at my watch.

  Thirty minutes later, the auditorium was empty except for a janitor sweeping the rubbish from the aisles.

  ‘Aurora,’ someone called, and I turned my eyes away from the auditorium’s entrance.

  Hayden walked across the stage from the wings. ‘What are you doing here? Wow.’ He took in my dress. ‘That’s a show stopper of an outfit.’

  ‘Thanks. Listen, have you seen my mum? I still haven’t found her.’

  Hayden frowned. ‘No. Do you think she could have gone backstage to meet you? Do you want to go look?’

  He offered me his arm, and I noticed that he was wearing a black suit with a white collared shirt, no tie. Being Hayden Paris, he looked exactly right. I slipped my arm through his and the tense feeling in my stomach relaxed slightly.

  We walked through the backstage area, which was virtually deserted. Still no sign of Mum. I didn’t understand it. Where on earth could she be?

  ‘How about the party?’ Hayden said. ‘I know it’s a long shot, but several parents showed up earlier, much to Jelena’s horror.’

  I forced a laugh. ‘What did she do?’

  ‘Marched over and demanded that they leave.’

  Hayden’s words were drowned out as we entered the gym. One of Jelena’s many admirers was acting as DJ and electro music dominated the room, reverberating through the floor. Jelena, wearing an amazing red backless dress, was dancing with Alex. Cassie and Scott were gliding in each other’s arms, completely oblivious to the music’s frantic pulse. Tyler and Lindsay were pulling silly dance moves. Jeffrey was dancing on a tabletop.

  ‘I’ll check the perimeter, you check the dance floor!’ Hayden yelled over the music.

  I pushed away my doubts that my mother would be on the dance floor with a bunch of teenagers and threw myself into the crowd.

  Jelena glided over to me. ‘Aurora! How do I look?’

  ‘Like a siren,’ I said. Her hair fell in long black waves and her lips were the same scarlet as her dress. ‘Look, my mum didn’t happen to be one of the parents you turned away before?’

  Jelena blinked. ‘No. Hey, Alex is the best dancer!’

  She sent a little wave to him across the room.

  ‘Jelena, are you sure that Alex is the guy you think he is —’ I started, then stopped as Lindsay and Tyler’s song began playing.

  ‘Oh, gag me,’ Jelena said as Tyler fell to his knees in front of a laughing Lindsay and started singing the words.

  I smiled distractedly, still searching the crowd for Mum. A moment later, Hayden arrived at my side, shaking his head.

  ‘No sign of her. Have you checked your mobile?’ he asked.

  ‘No.’ I pulled it out of my handbag, feeling like the stupidest person ever. I’d turned it off during the play so I’d be free from distractions.

  ‘Well, there’s your answer. She’s bound to have left a message about where to meet you.’

  I switched on my phone and saw I had a new text message.

  Can’t make it to the play. Wooing the developers is taking longer than expected. Sorry, Mum.

  I thrust the phone at Hayden and dashed towards the exit. I needed air.

  ‘Aurora, wait!’

  Hayden caught up with me as I stumbled out onto the grass.

  ‘I’m such an idiot,’ I choked. ‘It never occurred to me that she just wouldn’t show up.’

  I sank to my knees on the grass, feeling sick as I remembered how I’d smiled my brightest smiles onstage, thinking that she was there in the audience.

  ‘I sat in the empty auditorium for half an hour after the show finished. Anyone else would have started getting suspicious, but not me. Oh no. I thought, maybe she’s gone to the bathroom.’ I gave a bitter laugh. ‘Idiot.’

  ‘She’s the idiot for not coming,’ Hayden said, his voice harsher than I’d ever heard it. For some reason, it made me feel slightly better. He knelt down beside me.

  ‘I wanted her to be there,’ I said. It was hard to get the words out past the lump in my throat. ‘I don’t know why, because she was gone for four years and she missed all sorts of things. But for some reason, I really cared this time.’

  ‘Of course you did.’ Hayden squeezed my shoulders. ‘I mean, I get embarrassed about my mum’s enthusiasm — she videotaped the play twice.’

  I gave a hiccupy laugh.

  ‘But if she didn’t show up, I know I’d be crushed.’

  ‘I just wanted her to see it.’ I shook my head. ‘I wanted her to see Cassie’s backdrops, and Lindsay’s costumes, and you and me onstage.’

  ‘Your world,’ Hayden said softly.

  It was as if he’d reached inside me to find a truth that I hadn’t been able to see for myself. A sense of being completely and utterly understood fell over me, and for some reason the lump in my throat became even bigger. Oh no. I wasn’t going to cry. I hadn’t cried when she’d left. I’d forced myself to stay strong for the shattered NAD. No way was her failure to show up to a play going to cause me to lose it now.

  I pulled myself up off the ground. ‘Hayden?’ I forced my voice to stay steady. ‘I’m going to call a cab.’

  ‘You don’t want to go to the party?’

  I shook my head. ‘I’m not really in a partying mood.’

  ‘Okay, no party,’ he said. ‘But I can’t let the star actress go home without celebrating. How about we go into the city?’

  I glanced at his concerned face. And found myself agreeing.

  CHAPTER 27

  It’s a Date

  ‘I can’t believe we only have Monday’s matinée before the play is over,’ Hayden said as we sat eating ice-cream on a bench by the harbour.

  ‘God, you’re right,’ I exclaimed, my spoon halfway to my mouth. ‘While I was onstage tonight, I was wishing it would never end! I felt so alive.’

  ‘And excited, right?’ Hayden took a big bite of his hazelnut ice-cream. ‘God, there’s no better feeling. I’m kind of hooked on it.’

  ‘I was really surprised to feel that way.’ I licked the back of my spoon. ‘I’ve always thought that writing was what made me deliriously happy, but this was pretty close.’

  ‘You could always combine the two,’ Hayden suggested. ‘Be a playwright. Or a scriptwriter. That way you could write yourself great parts.’

  ‘Hmm.’ Interesting idea.

  ‘You could write me a part too.’ Hayden grinned cheekily. ‘You know, hugely spunky guy with a colossal intellect.’

  ‘Yeah, right, Paris.’ I punched his arm. ‘You’ll be A-list within five years without my help. If I write you a part, you’ll win a damn Academy Award. Just think of what that’ll do to your ego.’

  Hayden chased after me with a dripping cone and I ran along the boardwalk shrieking.

  ‘Thanks for a great evening, Hayden,’ I said with a smile as the cab dropped us off out the front of my house.

  ‘No problem.’ Hayden’s eyes turned serious. ‘I hope it made you feel a bit better.’

  ‘It made
me feel fantastic.’

  Unbelievably, the ice-cream and Hayden’s silly quips had actually made me temporarily forget the whole Mum-no-show thing.

  ‘Listen, Aurora, about what I was trying to tell you last night …’

  ‘Yes?’ For some reason I was holding my breath.

  Hayden ran a hand through his hair. ‘I was —’

  The Parises’ backyard floodlights switched on.

  ‘Oops,’ Hayden said. ‘Mum’s probably wondering what’s taking me so long. I’d better go. Night, Princess.’

  ‘Night,’ I replied, and turned up my driveway.

  How weird was it that an evening with Hayden had been about a thousand times more enjoyable than any of my dates had been? Maybe it was the knowledge that there’d be no awkward goodbye moment. Though Hayden had looked quite uncomfortable for a moment there. What had he been trying to say? It wasn’t like him to be shy about speaking up.

  I stopped short when I saw Ms DeForest’s car in the drive. After our altercation last night, things were likely to be tense. Perhaps the best thing for all of us would be for me to sneak upstairs.

  I quietly entered the house and took a careful look around. No-one was in sight. I peeped into the living room for one last check and froze, unable to believe what I was seeing.

  Ms DeForest was on her knees in the living room, the lights dimmed, and swinging a long pendulum in front of Snookums. My poor baby sat transfixed by the hypnotic movement, an odd look in his yellow eyes. I felt like I’d stumbled upon a voodoo ritual.

  ‘You’re hypnotising my cat?’ I shrieked, and before I knew what I was doing, I’d dashed into the room and snatched the pendulum out of Ms DeForest’s fingers.

  ‘What have you done to him?’ My words were a dazed whisper as Snookums continued to stare, mesmerised, at the pendulum in my right hand.

  Ms DeForest’s face was creased with irritation. ‘I’m using an external stimulus to create a more symbiotic relationship between cat and owner.’

  ‘By hypnosis?’ I snapped my fingers in front of Snookums’s face. He didn’t react.