Baby Jane's Mission

by Reginald Parnell

  CHAPTER VII

  BABY JANE'S ARMY

  Baby Jane's first thought when she opened her eyes in the early morningwas of her army, and she scrambled to her feet and stared before her.

  It was a splendid sight. The great line, all shining in the new-risensun, stretched away from her, regiment after regiment, until it was lostfar away in the morning mist, and before each regiment stood itsColonel, casting a long blue shadow behind him.

  Cheerful shoutings and the fluttering of many flags in the cool airhelped to make Baby Jane feel very elated, and she clapped her hands andlaughed, and took several dancing steps. Sammy must have been up veryearly to marshal the army.

  At this moment that youth came galloping up mounted on Edouardo, wavinghis cap, and, while yet some way off, shouted breathlessly to her:

  'Something like an army, isn't it?'

  'Oh, Sammy, you are a general!' said Baby Jane. 'I wish I could helpmore. Perhaps I could disguise myself and go out as a spy while you areteaching the army. But, anyhow, let's all have breakfast, and we willtalk as we eat it. Do you know how to drill them?'

  'Oh, easy as eating this muffin,'[1] said Sammy, who was always quitesure about everything. 'Suppose they are all in a line, doing something;well, you just shout at them, "Ow-row-row, rahee, urra-ub!" and theysuddenly do something else.'

  'Why not shout in English?' asked Baby Jane.

  'What, and let the enemy know what you are going to do next?' said Sammyscornfully. 'Not much!'

  'But do the soldiers themselves know what you mean?' the puzzled BabyJane persisted.

  Sammy winked.

  'Not a bit of it!' said he. 'When the Colonel shouts, they have got todo _something_ all together, it doesn't matter what, and the Colonelhas to look as if it was just what he meant.'

  'But what is the good of it anyhow?' asked she.

  'Well,' said he, 'if they surprise their own Colonel, they're bound tosurprise the enemy much more!'

  Breakfast being ended, the manoeuvres commenced. Baby Jane did nottake part herself, but, sitting beneath a palm upon a little knoll, withthe deepest interest she watched her regiments wheel and turn and forminto columns and squares before her.

  'If it doesn't frighten that Black Mountain Band,' thought she, 'to seemy army doing these odd things on the sand, they _must_ be brave!' Buthere her reflections were painfully interrupted.

  The second regiment on the right, a little brown regiment, that had beenperforming brilliantly, though rather noisily, and had just at thatmoment formed an elegant hollow square, suddenly broke up, and, withdeafening yells, piled itself in a heap, like a swarm of bees, upon itsColonel.

  Then Mary Carmichael, with a terrified face, came galloping up to BabyJane, and pulling up on her haunches, panted out the words:

  'The Flanagans have mutinied!'

  Baby Jane sprang upon her back, and galloped her across the desertstraight at the shrieking pile of monkeys. At her approach they fellapart, and leaving their Colonel sitting crushed and forlorn, theyrushed at her with a volley of explanations.

  'Ah, the spalpeen! He said his poor ould father was a standing disgraceto the regiment, and, as he couldn't look decent on his feet, he'd makehim do his drills on his head. And as for his mother, poor ould soul,he's made her a drummer-boy!'

  Clearly Patsey had been misusing his military authority to get even withhis parents for past thrashings, and it took some time before Baby Jane,holding the bruised Colonel in her arms, could make peace between himand his rebellious regiment. She had to be very severe with them.

  'You're not a bit of good as infantry,' she said. 'Just fancy a regimentthat ought to be stretched out in a thin red--I mean brown--line, piledin a heap on top of the Colonel! No, you are not infantry anymore--you're artillery, and will have to stand in rows and throwcocoa-nuts for cannon-balls.'

  At this moment Sammy came up, and he was charmed with the idea.

  'What ho!' he cried. 'Splendid! Talk of batteries of four-inchfield-guns! Just wait till those Black Mountaineers see our batteries offour-inch field-monkeys!'

  It was the Rabbit's regiment of scouts that was being drilled next tothe Flanagans, but he allowed them all to 'stand at ease' to watch thedisgrace of his friend Patsey, and professed to think their new titleexceedingly funny.

  'Oh, who'd be a four-inch field-monkey?' he squeaked, and he slapped hisknees and laughed till the tears ran down his whiskers.

  'Well,' said Baby Jane, turning sharply upon him, 'you seem very pleasedwith yourself, but what can _your_ regiment do?'

  The Rabbit dried his tears with his paw. 'Do?' he said shrilly. 'Why,look at this!'

  Truly it was magnificent. Squatting still as statues, at the word ofcommand five hundred bunnies cocked their thousand ears in unison.'Up--down--right--left!'

  'And that's nothing,' said the Rabbit calmly; 'they can do the same withtheir tails!'

  'Wonderful!' said Baby Jane. 'And now, as Sammy says that MissCrocodile's regiment, and the Lion's, and the Bear's have been doingwonderful things, every one has done a good morning's work----'

  'Except the four-inch field-monkeys,' interrupted the Rabbit spitefully.

  'And drill is over for the day,' went on Baby Jane. 'This afternoon myarmy shall sit down and keep cool and see a military tournament.'

  As to the beginning of this tournament there was a good deal of puzzlingand trouble, for the army sent a solemn deputation, headed by MissCrocodile and Mary Carmichael, to Baby Jane during dinner to pray thatproceedings might open with a war-dance.

  Now Baby Jane had not the least idea how a war-dance went, and, after along consultation with Sammy, she had to tell the deputation so.

  'Do you know how it goes yourselves?' she asked.

  Miss Crocodile said the niggers always did it before they went outcollecting missionaries. You jumped up and down and waved sticks andshouted. Here Miss Crocodile made a few shy steps to illustrate hermeaning.

  'Of course,' said Baby Jane, upon whom a light had dawned. 'An Irishjig! The very thing! I danced it in a play once, and I will show you.Come along. What fun!'

  It required but little practice, and, with two pretty hoods for theladies and a couple of sprigs of blackthorn for the gentlemen, they werepresently equipped and ready to dance before the army, which was nowspread out in a huge semicircle facing the open desert and the distantBlack Mountains. And they might have stepped straight from the fair atColeraine, for the Lion looked the broth of a boy, and even the Bearthrew off his Scottish manner and was for the time a roaring blade;while as for Mary and Miss Crocodile, no saucier colleens ever peepedfrom beneath a hood.

  Baby Jane, flushed and smiling, holding a bit or frock in each hand, ledthem into the middle.

  'Now,' she whispered over her shoulder, 'one--two--three--whistle!'

  Then to the romping air of 'St. Patrick's Day in the Morning' five lightfigures tripped it gaily up and down, every footfall pat to a note. Now,with a bang and a yell, dancing defiance at one another, the boys met inthe middle, each with his lady under his lee. Then, shooting roguishglances right and left, Miss Crocodile and Mary, hand-in-hand, wouldtrip between the warlike ones and take the floor. And the army markedtime with whoops that must have echoed in the distant mountains.

  A little mocking measure.]

  It was glorious--worth a month of life--or at any rate it would havebeen if the Rabbit and Patsey had not been observed dancing a littlemocking measure of their own device about twenty yards from the realdancers.

  Now it is a difficult thing to look thoroughly arch and roguish whilesome one is imitating you, and though Mary and Miss Crocodile struggledfiercely to keep up their saucy smile, they could not help casting anoccasional glance of bitterness and rage at the Rabbit and Patsey, whowere mincing and curvetting with an artless coquetry twice as winning astheir own.

  They could barely restrain themselves until the dance had ended in aroar of applause, and then, cutting short their graceful curtsey ofacknowledgment in the mi
ddle, they sprang after the little beasts, and,with hoods flying out behind, chivied them round and round until theytook refuge in the skirts of Baby Jane, who had hardly noticed themocking dance, and thought that the chivying was merely an innocentromp.

  But Miss Crocodile was not to be put off, and assuming a pleasant smile,she went up to Baby Jane and suggested a playful combat with woodenbroadswords between herself and Patsey. It seemed rather a good idea,and as Patsey raised no objection, it was arranged to take place atonce.

  Patsey appeared first in the arena, and there he sat on his sword,looking very small and innocent, like a little brown bumble-bee roostingon a twig. Miss Crocodile soon followed, with a nasty smile on her lips.(A three-inch mouth can display a great deal of nastiness; consider,then, the possibilities of a three-foot mouth!) She wasted no time, andrushing up, swung her sword to knock the bumble-bee off its twig, but asthe sword reached Patsey, he fluttered a yard into the air, and, beforeMiss Crocodile could recover herself, his weapon had whistled twiceround his head and landed--_thwack!_--upon her tenderest row of teeth.It was cruelly painful, and Miss Crocodile rolled on the ground and weptaloud, while Patsey skipped chuckling round her, until Baby Jane caughthim and cuffed him severely. If he could not play without being rough,she said, he should not play at all. She was very fond of little Patsey,but felt that she must be a stern mother to him.

  He fluttered a yard in the air.]

  Now the Lion had also observed Patsey and the Rabbit's little mockingdance, so when the Piccaninny, armed with a lance, was mounted on hisback to engage the Rabbit, who had a sword and rode pick-a-back onPatsey, he thought it a good opportunity of serving out a little sternjustice on that couple.

  It was arranged that the Piccaninny and the Rabbit were to chargetogether from a distance and see which could unhorse the other. TheLion's idea was to take no notice of the sword-and-lance business, butsimply to rush at the offending couple, knock them head-over-heels andgenerally maul them. But the Rabbit also had his notions, and contrivedthat the course should pass close to a fox-hole, of which there wereseveral around.

  'Nothing like arranging your port in case of a storm,' he remarked toPatsey.

  Well, the course was cleared and the signal given--'Charge!' With a roarand a rush the Lion came thundering down the line, and, to theadmiration of the whole army, the Rabbit went bravely out to meet him.But he was watching the Lion's face keenly, and at the last moment hecaught a gleam in his eye. At that instant they were passing thefox-hole, and the Lion was but a yard away.

  The Lion came thundering down the line.]

  'Down, Monkey!' shrieked the Rabbit, and down the hole they shottogether feet foremost. The Lion was astounded at the mysteriousdisappearance of the couple, and in his struggles to pull up he caughthis foot in the Piccaninny's lance, shot that child twenty yards away,and himself came bump on his chin. He got up slowly, trying to retainhis dignity, and looked haughtily round.

  Two little smiling faces were regarding him from over the edge of thehole. They nodded pleasantly to him.

  'How's your Auntie Lou?' asked the Rabbit, as if to break the ice.

  Two little smiling faces were regarding him.]

  The Lion had no Auntie Lou, and he stared stonily in front of himwithout reply. There was a long pause, and then the Rabbit inquired:

  'Say, Mister, are you going to be rough if we come up?'

  'Yes,' said the Lion, promptly and gravely.

  'How many kicks do you reckon to give us?'

  'Ten each,' said the Lion.

  'Could you make it seven?'

  'No.'

  'Eight might suit you?'

  'No.'

  'How about nine?'

  'No!' roared the Lion in a temper.

  'Well, now, don't get angry,' said the Rabbit; 'we are only asking forinformation. We aren't coming up this way at all.' And with that theyretired below.

  Baby Jane had nothing to say in this affair, for the reason that she wasconsulting Sammy and the Bear on the very important project of which shehad spoken to Sammy earlier in the day.

  'You remember how King Alfred went among the Danes disguised as aharper,' she said.

  Nobody had the faintest recollection of the incident, but they took herword for it, and she went on:

  'Well, I mean to disguise myself and go with you, Bear, to the BlackMountains to try and coax away the less bad beasts that may be there,and to find out all the enemy's plans. I shouldn't be afraid with you,Bear, and Sammy would be left in charge of the army until I came back.'

  'H'm, it might be done,' said the Bear, 'and I know of a little blackbearskin not far away that would just cover you, clothes and all.' Hedid not mention that at the time there was a little black bear still inthe skin.

  'Well, that's settled; and,' said Baby Jane, 'Mary shall come with usand be our horse.'

  It was pitiful to see how Mary's jaw fell on hearing this.

  'But--but--but,' she said in a choking voice, 'I want tobe a Major-General--and--and--I've got the cocked hat allready--and--and--and--I've been learning lots of things. Just look here!This is one thing I've learnt.'

  And the poor creature went through the motions of preparing to receivecavalry very creditably. But Baby Jane was stern, and in a little whileMary Carmichael, carrying the adventurous couple, was slouching off.

  Here the cunning old Bear whispered loudly to Baby Jane, 'Perhaps, afterall, perhaps you had better make her a Major-General. She is no good asa horse--can't trot a little bit.'

  Straight for the enemy's country.]

  Mary began to hum loudly to pretend she hadn't heard, but her ears grewvery red, and she began stealthily to quicken her pace until she wasslinging out her hoofs in a thundering fourteen-miles-an-hourtrot--straight for the enemy's country, the Black Mountains.