by Natalie Ann
Mallory let him ramble on and when she felt he was finished talking, she smiled, relieved he got the story. That he got what she was saying, he understood Cynthia’s character, and he was falling right into the story the way she’d hoped.
“Yes, I know who killed her, and yes, I know how she died. No, I won’t tell you. You can read it when I’m done. I promise.”
“I’m just in awe with what you’ve done. What you’ve done with your life. I guess it didn’t sink in until I read something. You’ve told me you’ve published books, but without knowing or seeing anything you’ve done, it didn’t seem real to me.”
“It does now?”
“Yeah, it does. It all seems real. I know it was a huge step for you to hand that over to me. Trixie told me you’ve never let anyone read your work before until it’s been published.”
“No. She’s never liked that. She was always bugging me to read it. I’d tell her ideas and story lines, even get her opinions, but I’ve never let her read anything until I knew it was ready to be published.”
“She is going to be so jealous.”
“Don’t tell her,” Mallory said, horrified.
“Why, are you afraid of her?” Nick asked, tugging on her ponytail. “She’s just a little old lady.”
Mallory let out a snort. “Don’t let her hear you say that.”
“I’m smarter than that,” Nick said. He walked over to the stove. “Sauce and meatballs. Yum. You are just too good for me.”
“I’d like to think we’re good enough for each other.”
He looked at her curiously, then leaned down and kissed her softly, tenderly, and her heart melted. All those feelings from twelve years ago—the feelings she’d locked away for so long—were bursting at the seams to come out.
She didn’t want to set herself up to be hurt again, but realized that it was too late. If he left—not when he left—she’d be hurt. But she’d have good memories now. And maybe today was a start for them to work it out more, because she was starting to hope for a future now. Or at the very least seeing the potential for one.
She’d opened herself up more than he could imagine today by handing over her laptop, and she was pretty sure he was aware of it. The question was, what would he do about it now?
Should she wait for him to make the next move? By giving him her story, she’d felt she did her part, but maybe not quite. Maybe it wasn’t enough.
If they were going to try to move forward, then there was one more thing she could do at the moment. Or at least that she felt comfortable enough doing.
“Hang on for a minute. I’ll be right back.”
She walked out of the kitchen and to her room, went into a box in her closet and returned back down, then handed another book over to him.
“What’s this?” he asked, reaching for it.
“What do you think?” She watched as he burst out laughing.
“Are you serious? Your pen name is M.A. Cannon? The irony is not lost on me. Wow. I feel like a fool for not figuring it out.”
“Why did you think you could have figured it out?”
“I know your initials are M.A.—Mallory Ann—and when you told me everyone thinks your name is Mallory Dexter I thought that was funny, but that should have been my first clue.”
“I don’t understand what that has to do with anything.”
“Dexter is my middle name.”
“What?” she said, her jaw dropping. “Why would Trixie suggest that name and not tell me it was your middle name?”
“I don’t know. But then when you started to talk about how you always called us the Cannons, I should have searched for the name then. You’ve never been able to let me go, have you?”
She didn’t expect to be having this conversation with him. Maybe she shouldn’t have just handed him the first book she ever published.
“That has nothing to do with anything.”
“Yes, it does. Don’t you see? I’ve never forgotten you, Mallory. You’ve haunted my dreams for years. You’ve never been far from my thoughts. Maybe you don’t want to admit it to me, or to yourself, but we’ve always been tied together. We always will be.”
She wanted to believe what he was saying more desperately than she ever wanted to believe anything before.
“Where do we go from here?”
“Anywhere we want. You’ve taken the first step. The next will be easier. You know it will. I’ll be by your side every step of the way.”
I Know
Nick turned his head when his grandmother walked out on her back deck a week later. It was such a beautiful fall day so he decided to take advantage of it and work outside.
He’d never had this luxury before in Richmond and was wondering why it had never occurred to him to work outside.
Then again, late September in Richmond was still pretty warm, not to mention the scenery in his backyard was nothing like looking out over the lake and fall foliage right now.
“I just hung up with your mother.”
Nick closed his laptop down and set it aside, knowing by the look on his grandmother’s face she wanted to talk. “What’s she up to?”
His grandmother walked forward and sat in the chair next to him. “Not much. She told me Paul has taken a bigger turn for the worse. He is pretty much bedridden at this point and they’re just making him comfortable. They aren’t giving him much more time.”
“That was faster than they thought, right? Wait, why was Mom telling you? She doesn’t even like Paul.”
Waving her hand, his grandmother said, “I asked about him. I just wanted to keep up to date. Anyway, I think we need to tell Mallory.”
“And you want me to do it?” he asked, guessing where her train of thought was going.
“We should do it together. But yes, I want you there. Nick, she has opened up to you more in the last few weeks than I’ve gotten her to open up to anyone or about anything in years. I’m still stunned she told you her pen name.”
Nick thought back to when he’d informed his grandmother that Mallory had confided in him. She’d been shocked, but pleased just the same.
“It’s a step in the right direction for her. Could be she is ready to talk about her family and past now.”
“Paul isn’t her family.”
Nick raised his eyebrows at the terse tone his grandmother used. “You know what I mean. He’s the last remaining piece to her past. She should at least know what’s going on.”
“You’re right, which is why I want you here when we tell her.”
“What do you think she’ll do? Do you think she’ll go home and say goodbye to him?”
“I’m hoping she will. I’m hoping that will put closure on everything for her so she can move forward. She’ll need you by her side to do it. It’s not just going home to see Paul. It’s revealing that she’s alive and well after all this time.”
“I know. I’ll be there for her, Grandma. Every step of the way. If she’s not in trouble with the law or anything, I’m not sure why she would be so worried.”
“I don’t think it’s that. It’s the attention of it all. Mallory has always been very private, but you know as well as I do that her disappearing was a big story back then.”
“But they concluded she’d left on her own.”
“They did. And now someone will probably realize she’s come back, so there will be some media or press over it. She’ll need to be shielded from that.”
“We should tell Mom. Have Mallory retain Mom as her lawyer and speak for her.”
“Let’s cross that bridge when we get to it. We don’t even know if Mallory will go home or not.”
“But you want her to, don’t you?” Nick asked.
“Yes.”
“And you want me to convince her to do it?”
“Exactly.”
“Then what’s our plan?”
***
Mallory ended her phone call and grabbed her keys. She hadn’t been to Trixie’s for dinner in a few weeks
and was thrilled Nick just called to say Trixie was making lasagna—Mallory’s favorite.
She couldn’t wait to see Nick, as she hadn’t spoken to him all day. Of course, there was nothing abnormal about that. Sometimes they didn’t talk until almost bedtime, but they did seem to touch base at least once every day.
Walking into Trixie’s front door a few minutes later, she was surprised to find that Nick and Trixie were both sitting in the living room. She kind of expected them to be in the kitchen preparing dinner…at least she expected Trixie to be in there.
“What’s going on?” she asked when she noticed Trixie was watching her more carefully than normal. Like she watched her twelve years ago when she first moved to Lake Placid.
“Have a seat, sweetie. We want to talk to you.”
“Ah, okay. Am I in trouble? What did I do?” she asked, smiling at Nick.
“Nothing. And no, you aren’t in trouble. Not unless you’d like to confess something to me that you’re guilty of.”
“No confession coming from my lips.” She sat down next to Nick after he patted the couch cushion. “Why are you two looking at me like that? Like you’re going to do an intervention?”
“I guess you could call it that,” Nick said, threading his fingers through hers.
Mallory didn’t like the sound of that and couldn’t prevent the accelerating drum of her heart. She’d been joking but now realized they weren’t.
She looked at Trixie again and asked, “What’s going on?”
“Maybe it’s best if I say it, Grandma.” Mallory turned her head and looked at Nick as he spoke, “How come you’ve never asked about Paul?”
The drumbeat of her heart picked up its pace, mixed emotions and flashbacks rushing at her. “Why would I?”
“He’s your stepfather,” Nick pointed out.
“Hardly. I’d call him a lot of things, but stepfather isn’t one of them.”
“Mallory,” Trixie said, “just listen to us. I know this is hard for you, but we need to tell you something.”
“I don’t care about anything you have to say that concerns Paul.”
Paul was nothing to her. No, that wasn’t true. Paul stole her mother from her, among many other things that no one knew about.
“He’s dying,” Nick said quickly.
Mallory swung her head back to Nick and pulled her hand free of his.
“So there is a God after all. Don’t tell me from a broken heart. Never mind, I don’t care either way.”
“No,” Nick said. “He has cancer. He was diagnosed months ago and not given much time.”
Trixie jumped in. “I spoke with Susan a little while ago and she said that they’re just making Paul comfortable now, that it won’t be much longer.”
“Again, I don’t care,” Mallory said, holding to her stubborn resistance.
She really didn’t care if he died. She’d wiped him from her mind a long time ago. It’d made her sick to even see him when she went home for her mother’s funeral.
“Mallory,” Trixie said, sighing. “I think you should go home and end this.”
“You’re joking, right?” Mallory said, standing up, and then she started to pace. “No way. I’ve got nothing to say to him and don’t want to see him either. You know why.”
“I do,” Trixie said. “But I also know if you want to move on with your life—and you’ve shown signs of wanting that—you need to put some closure to the past. This is the best way to do it.”
“He asked my parents to store things for you at our house.”
“What? You told him I was alive?”
She was shaking right now. How could Nick do that to her? To tell the last person she wanted to know that she was alive!
“Of course not,” Nick said, looking offended. She was too keyed up to worry though. “He didn’t know what was going to happen to the house. He asked that my parents store some things for you if you ever came home. It was about four boxes. I helped my father carry them into the garage a few weeks ago.”
“What was in them?” She was only slightly curious.
“I don’t know. They were sealed up and I didn’t open them. It didn’t seem right. I didn’t tell anyone you were alive or that I knew where you were. That was hard for me to do, you know that.”
Mallory turned to Trixie. “I can’t go back. I can’t. Why would you think I could?”
She knew her voice was breaking. She was trembling everywhere. That scared teenager was standing at attention right now, clouding her thoughts. If Paul was dying then it was over with at this point, she knew that, but it didn’t help her make any rational decisions.
“You can. You need to. No one expects you to say goodbye, or to come in and make peace with him. I don’t expect that and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t either.”
“Why not?” Nick asked. “What aren’t you two telling me? Was Paul the reason you left? I don’t get that. He was devastated when you went missing. He hired an investigator to find you. He did everything your mother asked him to do to find out where you went or where you might be.”
“I believe he was looking for me, but not for the reasons you think. He might have told people he was doing it for my mother, but I doubt it.”
“I don’t think so, Mallory,” Nick said. “When your mother’s addiction got more out of control, Paul blamed you. He said if you’d never left Mindy wouldn’t have turned to the drugs even more to cope. He wanted you home to help her.”
“You don’t believe that, do you?” Mallory asked appalled. “Do you really think I’m to blame for my mother’s death? She was an addict long before I left. Everyone knew that, even though they pretended they didn’t. I couldn’t stay and watch her die a little more each day. I couldn’t stay and watch her be controlled like that.”
“No,” Nick said, standing up and walking over to her, then pulling her into his arms. “I don’t believe that. Your mother made her own choices in life. And I don’t believe you caused her addiction to escalate. I’m just saying he at least gave the illusion that he was looking for you.”
“He was good at illusions.” Mallory pulled out of Nick’s arms.
“Sweetie,” Trixie said. “Do you love Nick?”
“What? Where did that come from? What does that have to do with anything?” Mallory asked, feeling an even greater panic.
“It has everything to do with this.”
“Grandma, stop. Don’t get in the middle of us.”
“Don’t ‘Grandma’ me.” Trixie turned back to Mallory. “If you love Nick, then you’ll go back to Richmond and make this right. You’ll go back there and make your presence known, then leave again if you have to. Do you expect Nick to keep you hidden forever? Do you think it’s fair to him that he has to lie to everyone now that he’s involved with you?”
Mallory felt her eyes burn, then fill with tears. She knew what Trixie was saying was right. She’d known it all along, and it was part of the reason she didn’t want to get involved with Nick in the first place. Only she couldn’t stop herself. She couldn’t stop her heart again.
“No, it’s not fair. Is that how you feel?” she asked Nick.
“What, you want to know if I love you? Yeah, I do. I would have preferred to say it another time, but it’s out there, so I won’t deny it. I’ve always loved you. I’ve never stopped. I’m never going to stop and I don’t want to lose you again.”
Mallory closed her eyes and started to breathe in slow and steady, trying to calm her racing heart. Nick loved her. He just said he’d never stopped loving her. It didn’t seem possible.
“I wanted to know if you felt it wasn’t fair that you had to keep it hidden that you’re with me, but that’s a stupid question. Even I know that. And if you must know, I love you too.”
Nick walked forward and pulled her into his arms, hugged her tight while she bawled all over his chest, soaking it with tears.
“I don’t want to go back to Richmond.”
“I know, baby. I know.”
“But I have to. I know I do.”
“I’ll be right by your side.”
“So will I,” Trixie said. “We’ll both be there for you. You can count on that.”
Continued
“I’m scared, Nick,” Mallory said later that night in bed.
He knew tonight was hard on her. He’d expected as much. He also expected her to reject the idea of going back and couldn’t believe she didn’t…or at least didn’t fight harder than she had.
He should be happy, but part of him was breaking inside. It wasn’t going to be easy.
“I know. There’s no reason to be. I thought maybe we could meet with my parents before anything else. My mother can speak for you, as your lawyer. I’d like to talk to her ahead of time and forewarn her at the very least.”
“Do you have to? Can’t we just go and let it play out? I don’t want to give anyone a heads-up.”
“I don’t feel right about that, Mallory.”
He wanted to help her and didn’t want to say or do anything that might sway her from going back, but he felt like it was a betrayal if he didn’t at least let his parents know something.
“Trixie agreed with me though. She said not to tell anyone in advance,” Mallory argued.
He didn’t know why his grandmother would say that and wanted to balk, but so far his grandmother hadn’t led them wrong. Hadn’t his grandmother gotten them both to express their love tonight?
“I don’t know why she said that, but I guess I’ve got no choice except to trust her and go along with it. Are you going to be able to fly there, or should we drive?”
“Why do you think I can’t fly there?”
“Did you ever legally change your name to Mallory Dexter? If not, then do you have ID to get through security at the airport?”