by Natalie Ann
“It’s not funny, Trixie,” Mallory said.
“Never said it was. Why would you think otherwise?”
“Because I hear the laughter in your voice. A part of you is all giddy inside, I know it.”
“Of course I am.” Trixie stopped and stood next to Mallory after she shut the car door, then pulled her forward into a hug. Trixie didn’t hug often, but when she did, Mallory always felt like she was going to cry, just like now. “Full circle, sweetie. Let’s close this loop up tight and never break it open again.”
“If it was only that easy,” Mallory said, fighting back the tears.
“It is that easy,” Nick said, threading his fingers through hers and pulling her toward the front door. He didn’t bother to knock. Of course Mallory remembered all the times Susan had told her she didn’t need to knock either, to just come in. “Mom! Where are you?”
“Oh dear, Nick!” Mallory heard Susan yell from the back of the house and then the feet came running. Two sets, so John must be home too.
Mallory watched as both Susan and John stopped in their tracks and just stared at her. She knew they recognized her; she hadn’t changed that much in the last twelve years. Susan’s eyes were wide open and John looked pale as can be.
Susan recovered fast, moving forward and pulling her into a hug. “Oh my God. Is it you, Mallory? Is it really you?”
Mallory couldn’t fight back the tears even if she wanted to at that point. She expected questions, she expected accusations and anger, but she didn’t expect hugs. “Yes, it’s me.”
Susan pushed her back and started to look her over from the top of her head all the way to her feet, inspecting her like a mom does, almost not believing it was true. “You’ve turned into a beautiful woman.”
“Thank you.” Mallory didn’t know what else to say, but that seemed to be enough at the moment.
“John, move forward and come give Mallory a hug. Stop standing there so shell-shocked,” Susan said, smiling bright toward her husband.
John’s reaction was more of what Mallory expected. Part of her was a bit astonished that Susan didn’t seem that surprised to find Mallory in her front hallway. “I can’t believe it. All this time. Where have you been?”
Mallory didn’t have time to answer before Susan turned to Trixie and said, “That was faster than I thought.”
Nick seemed to have found his voice. “What? What is going on? What do you mean by that statement?” He turned to his grandmother. “What the hell? Tell me what is going on.”
“Never mind you,” John said, turning toward his wife. “Why aren’t you as stunned to see her as I am? You knew all along she was alive, didn’t you?”
Mallory just stood there watching Trixie and Susan eye each other. As far as Mallory knew, only Trixie had known where she was. “Did you?” she asked Susan.
“Let’s all go into the living room and sit,” Susan said in the calm lawyer voice she often had when trying to bring order to people.
“Someone start talking now,” John demanded. Mallory couldn’t ever remember a time when John raised his voice or got angry, but there was no denying he was now.
It didn’t take long for Nick to side with his father either. “Grandma, you start. You know the most, I know you do. You’re the common denominator here. Explain.”
Trixie moved into the family room and took a seat, got comfortable, and then turned her scolding eyes to Nick. “Don’t take that tone with me, Nick. I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again, I can rap the crap out of your knuckles with a ruler.”
Mallory fought the twitch from her lips. Even as chaotic as things were, Trixie always seemed to bring everyone back to earth.
“Let’s do as Susan suggested. Nick, be a darling and grab the vodka and a few glasses. I think we might need it,” Trixie said, as everyone found a seat.
“Forget the vodka,” John said. “Get my scotch.”
Mallory watched as Nick walked out of the room quickly to do as he was asked while she looked around the family room.
It still looked the same to her, only decorated more modern. It didn’t matter the wall colors were different, or the furniture, it felt like a home. A feeling she hadn’t had in way too long.
She was scared right now, she was nervous, and she was unsure, but under it all, there was the calm that maybe Nick was right. Maybe things were going to be okay. They just needed to get to the end.
A minute later Nick walked in carrying a tray of glasses with a bottle each of vodka and scotch. He didn’t hesitate to pour his grandmother a glass of vodka first. John managed to open the scotch, pour it, and down it before anyone else got a glass, though. Then he turned to Trixie. “Talk. I’m too old for you to threaten me with rulers on my knuckles. I won’t fall for it like I did when I was dating Susan.”
“You didn’t fall for it back then either,” Trixie said, cracking the barest of smiles. “I’m not sure where to start.”
“Wait a minute,” Susan said. “What is Nick doing here with you two? How long have you known about Mallory?” Susan asked, eying Nick.
“Don’t even think of changing the subject on me,” Nick said, his face as set as his father’s.
Trixie held up her hands. “Enough. Let me talk. First of all, Mallory has been in Lake Placid with me.”
“All this time,” Susan said, showing the first signs of confusion.
“Yes. It wasn’t the plan, I know that. But it just happened that way.”
“Plan!” Nick yelled. “Talk faster,” he told Trixie.
“What do you mean by plan?” Mallory asked.
As far as she knew, there had been no big plan. Though she never understood how Trixie knew that Mallory had needed to leave in the first place. Now all the pieces were starting to fall into place.
“I’ll answer questions when I’m done. Susan, I never told you where I was taking her, because we agreed the less you knew the better. No one could question you and you wouldn’t be forced to lie. It was for the best.”
“I didn’t think she’d be with you all this time, though. I don’t understand how that was possible. I just thought you were helping her leave and setting her up somewhere.”
“She did,” Mallory said. “Trixie set me up with her. I didn’t want to leave her though. I couldn’t,” Mallory said sadly.
She remembered those first few weeks. How Trixie had a car drive Mallory straight to her house in Lake Placid—straight through the night and into the morning. Mallory had stayed by herself in the house for a week until Trixie returned home. She’d been scared, all alone with no one to talk to.
Even though the house was stocked and equipped and Trixie had left detailed instructions on what to do, Mallory was still terrified. She might have legally been an adult, but she’d never been on her own before.
When Trixie returned home and told Mallory how she was going to set her up in another state, Mallory begged her to let her stay there. That she’d stay out of the way. She’d hide and she’d earn her keep.
It never came to that though. The hiding yes, but not the earning of her keep.
“I couldn’t force Mallory to leave again. She’d been through enough and she needed me. It was the best place for her,” Trixie said and looked over at Mallory.
Nick had remained standing after he brought in the drinks, but he now walked over and sat next to her on the couch and put his arm around her. Mallory didn’t miss the look that Susan and John shared together. She was trying not to read too much into it, but she was pretty sure they could figure out the relationship between her and Nick just then.
“So then what?” Susan asked. “She’s been there all this time in your house? I just don’t see how that is possible. We’ve visited plenty over the years.”
“I lived with Trixie until a few years ago. Then I purchased a house about a mile away on the lake. I became good at hiding when there were visitors.”
John finally spoke. “So how did Nick find out about you? And by the w
ay, you rushing back there makes a lot more sense now,” John said, looking at Nick suspiciously.
“I was kayaking on the lake and waving to the people I passed. I saw her in her garden and she turned to wave. Once she did I just froze. I didn’t think it was her, but my mind must have realized it.”
“He overturned the kayak,” Mallory said without thinking.
“Seriously?” John asked. “You’ve never rolled a kayak in your life.”
“You can understand why,” Nick said, sounding disgruntled.
“Anyway,” Trixie said. “One thing led to another. As you can imagine Nick swam to shore and chased her down, then promptly fainted when he realized it really was Mallory.”
“Grandma!”
“Oh, Nick,” Trixie said, waving her hand. “It’s a funny story now. Don’t be embarrassed.”
“I’m not sure anything about this is funny,” John said. “I’m still ticked that it seems I’ve been in the dark the longest.”
“How’s that?” Nick asked.
“Because you’ve at least known for almost two months. I just found out minutes ago. And though Trixie might think it’s funny you fainted, I’m starting to understand how it happened.”
“At least that’s something,” Nick said.
Susan stood up. “It’s a long drive. You guys have to be hungry. Let me just go get some food and bring it in. I’ll let you all talk and be back in a minute.” She walked out before anyone could stop her.
After a few minutes of John and Nick talking like the last ten minutes didn’t happen—that a ghost didn’t just step into their house—Mallory stood up and walked to the kitchen, remembering the way. Her steps faltered when she saw Susan standing there wiping the tears from her eyes. She’d never remembered Susan being anything but strong.
In that moment, Mallory realized something. “You knew didn’t you? You’ve known all along what was going on back then?”
“I suspected it. I couldn’t confront your mother. She wasn’t in her right mind and I didn’t want to make things worse. I didn’t know what else to do. I did have control over some things and exercised them, but I fear I made matters worse.”
“I don’t understand what that means. And why tell Trixie? Why not tell John?”
She could understand Nick being kept in the dark, he was in college, but she didn’t understand why Susan didn’t even tell John her suspicions.
“When things calm down I’ll explain more about that. Why I told my mother, well, she always had contacts and connections. I don’t know how or why, but she always did. I just felt that if anyone could get you away safely it was her. We agreed that I wouldn’t be told the details. I didn’t even know when it was going to happen, if it even would. It was a shot in the dark. You might not have even agreed back then. She kept me out of the details, as you heard. It killed me not to tell John, but I couldn’t. He’d never had a problem with Paul but would have felt honor bound to confront him over anything I said. I had no proof of anything other than the money issues, but I knew in my heart there was more.”
Mallory didn’t know what to say, other than to be thankful for all that Susan had done, and all she sacrificed. It couldn’t have been easy keeping that secret from her husband all these years. “You really had no clue where I was? Nothing at all about me?”
“No. I knew that my mother would tell me anything I needed to know—if you were hurt or sick or needed anything. And I knew that she would keep you informed of what was going on back here. I called her yesterday to tell her about Paul. Not that I wanted you to come home. I didn’t think you would, least of all this fast…I just wanted you to know. I wanted her to figure out a way to get the information to you so that you could…make some choices.”
“I didn’t want to come.”
“My mother can be persuasive, as I’m sure you’ve learned.”
“It wasn’t her. I came for Nick.”
Susan nodded. Mallory expected her to ask about her relationship with her son, but she didn’t. Instead she said, “I’m sure it’s been hard on Nick keeping your secret. Harder I’m sure than me keeping it all these years.”
“It has been. I understand that about him.”
Mallory watched as Susan’s eyes started to fill some more. “I hope you can forgive me. I didn’t think I had much of a choice back then. For years I second-guessed everything, but knew you were safe. My mother would have told me otherwise. It was all I had to keep me going.”
“I’m not the one you have to worry about getting forgiveness from.”
Betrayed
“She’s right,” Nick said from the doorway. He’d been waiting for his mother to come back, and when she didn’t and when Mallory hadn’t returned either, he decided to find out what was going on. “You should be more worried about whether I’ll forgive you.”
“I’ll let you talk with your mother,” Mallory said, then started to walk out of the room.
He didn’t let her get far before he reached for her, pulling her into his arms and giving her a kiss on the lips. Then he whispered, “I’m proud of you.”
Mallory blinked the tears out of her eyes and ducked out quickly, then Nick turned to his mother—the other woman he loved as much as his grandmother—and was hurt beyond words that they had both kept this from him. He felt betrayed in a way he never thought possible.
“How could you? How could you not at least say something? Give me a clue…anything.” There was no way he could hide the anguish from his voice, not that he was even trying.
“You were a kid, Nick.”
“I wasn’t a kid. I was twenty,” he argued.
“In college with your whole life ahead of you.”
“That doesn’t change anything. I was sick over her leaving. I thought it was my fault.”
All those years of guilt that he felt, then recently pushed away, were coming back and eating at him again. Making him relive it all.
“How could you think that?” his mother asked, her eyes showing her own guilt. “I thought you two had decided to just be friends. I watched you all summer long together and knew what might be happening and I dreaded it, and worried how you might react and if I could keep the secret. Then I noticed you stopped going over to talk to her. That you didn’t seem to be spending as much time together. You even told me you decided to just be friends when I asked what was going on.”
Nick remembered that conversation well. Just like he remembered everything that happened in the days before Mallory left and then the weeks after.
“That doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it does, Nick. If I’d thought for one second you were in love with her, I might have done things differently.”
He didn’t believe it. “I’ve always been in love with her,” he said fiercely before he could stop himself. “I’ve always tried to find that with someone else. I’ve been trying to move on and trying to forgive myself for hurting her. I never had a chance to say I was sorry what for I said to her. That I didn’t mean any of it.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Nothing,” Nick said, brushing it off. If he was going to tell anyone about what happened back then, it would be Mallory, not his mother.
“You wouldn’t have said it if it didn’t mean something,” she argued.
“Mom, let it be. A lot has happened in the last few months with my life. I’m happy now. I want to stay that way.”
He hoped she got the implication he was sending to her. He wouldn’t allow anyone to say anything negative about Mallory or his relationship with her. Least of all his mother right now.
“I’ve always wanted you to be happy, baby,” she said, moving forward. She hesitated, like he’d never seen her do before, then she pulled him into her arms and he was powerless to stop it.
He was still mad at her, and he was confused and hurt and a slew of other emotions, but under it all what he needed right now was his mother’s hug.
“I am. I don’t want to lose this.�
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She pushed back a little and said, “Do you think you will? Mallory may look the same to me, only older, but I don’t think she’s the same person she was back then. Part of me is thrilled she isn’t.”
“She isn’t the same girl we remembered. Well, some of her is, but the other part is stronger. I don’t know if I’ll ever understand why she left or even agree with it, but it seemed to make her a better person than I remembered. A stronger one at the very least.”
“You mean you don’t know why she left?”
The look on his mother’s face made him pause while he tried to fight back his annoyance.
“No. I’m trying to let her tell me on her own. I’ve never been thrilled that Grandma knew and didn’t tell me, but now you know too. Is it really that bad?”
“Nick, let her tell you.”
“What if she doesn’t?”
“She will if she loves you.” His mother took a few steps back and grabbed a napkin to wipe her eyes. “I don’t know about her now, her life’s been a mystery to this point. I just know she needed to leave this city and I helped make that happen.”
“I at least know some of what has happened in her life the last several years. But you know what? She can tell you. It seems no one wants to give me any answers, so I’m going to take a page from that book.”
“That’s not fair, Nick.”
“That’s laughable. You’re not one to talk about being fair.” He grinned. He wasn’t sure why, but for some reason he found it slightly amusing. “I’ve had to fight to get the information I have, so don’t think I’m going to just hand it over to you.”
His mother dropped her shoulders, the fight she always had in her gone at that moment. He knew he got his stubbornness and dig-his-feet-in-the-sand attitude from her.
“I understand. You’re hurt and upset with me. You have every right to be. I knew this day would come. I knew I’d have a lot of explaining to do to you and your father. Speaking of which, I expect some turbulent waters there, too.”
“How could you keep it from Dad?”