by A. D. Ellis
I chuckled. I definitely agreed that Caroline could be a handful.
Did Mom and Dad really fight? I remembered them only as happy and loving parents. Was Caroline right? Had I formed these perfect memories of them in my grief?
Maybe.
But did I want to get in a relationship with Benji when it was evident he had a shitty father and drama abounded?
“Hey, what’s up?” Benji sat next to me and put his hand on my thigh. “You look a million miles away.”
I drained the rest of my drink for a bit of liquid courage. “My usual reaction would be to clam up, ignore the issue, and let it fester until I blow up.”
“Issue? What issue?” Benji scowled and he took my hand. “What’s wrong?”
I took a deep breath. “But I know we have to talk about things. Not talking about things is how we almost lost each other.”
“Rhys, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?” He glanced around as if trying to figure out what had brought on my behavior.
“I love that drink. I wish I had another one. But it’s strong and my teeth are already tingling, so I’ll stop before I can’t get the words out.” I chugged an entire glass of water knowing I needed to hydrate after the sweet alcoholic concoction. “I have this thing with perfect. Perfect families, perfect relationships, perfect art, perfect people.”
Benji cocked his head to the side but stayed quiet and let me talk.
“Until recently, I remembered my parents’ marriage as perfect. Remembered them as perfect. Thought of my family as perfect.” I ran a hand over my face. “Imperfection, drama, craziness scares me. It makes me nervous. It makes me run.”
“Okay,” Benji drew out the word. “I’m far from perfect. Is that what this is about?”
“The Porn Brothers freak me the fuck out. They sound crazy and dramatic and I’m scared of what type of trouble and chaos they could cause.” The words rushed from me in one long whoosh.
Benji’s brows raised and he broke into a smile. “The Porn Brothers are crazy and dramatic and they do cause trouble and chaos.” He squeezed my hand. “But Bode, Kyson, and I are nothing like them and we’re grownups who have chosen to keep Dick and Rod in our lives but at a distance. And our mothers are amazing. The Silver family is so far from perfect, we likely couldn’t even find it with a map.” He chuckled. “But Bode, Kyson, and I have found a perfect imperfection with each other. Bode and Sage have their imperfectly perfect love. I’m hopeful Kyson and Bay may eventually work out something along the lines of perfect imperfection.” Benji leaned close and nuzzled my ear as he whispered, “I’m not perfect. You’re not perfect—I know you don’t like to hear it, but it’s true.” He smiled against my cheek when I snorted. “Our art isn’t perfect; our studio isn’t perfect. Nothing is perfect. But I’m pretty sure I want to spend a very long time being imperfect with you.”
My breath caught and my eyes stung. “I’m sorry. I’m learning something about myself lately and it’s kinda hard to take in. I’m a bit self-absorbed it seems.”
This time, Benji snorted and I couldn’t help but laugh with him.
“And I’m having to reimagine what I always thought a perfect relationship would look like.” I sighed. “Without perfect, it’s just a relationship and I don’t know what to make of that.”
Benji held my hand and tipped up my chin.
“Nothing is just a relationship. Even without the perfect, it’s ours. What we have, what we’re building, what we may have down the road? It’s all ours in its perfect imperfection and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” His lips feathered against mine as a hot tear fell down my cheek. “I want to learn about all of our imperfections with you by my side.”
I took a shaky breath. “I want that too. Just be patient with me as I adjust my ideas on perfect, okay?”
“I know we have to talk about things. Not talking about things is how we almost lost each other.” Benji repeated my earlier words and bit his lip.
“Now you’re the one scaring me. What’s up?”
“I know this is quick and maybe you don’t feel the same.” He took a deep breath. “But in the spirit of being perfectly imperfect, I have to tell you something even if the timing is all wrong.”
My heart nearly thumped out of my chest. Anxious anticipation made it hard to breathe. I swallowed thickly and nodded.
“Rhys, I love you.” Benji squeezed my hand.
A warmth spread through my chest and threatened to drown me. “Quite possibly the most perfect words I’ve ever heard.” I kissed him. “I love you, too.”
Benji grabbed my hand and we gave quick waves to Bode and Sage as we rushed out of The Salty Lizard.
We all but ran the few blocks to my apartment.
As we tromped up the stairs to my place, Benji gasped. “Oh! I meant to tell you. I went to the clinic and got tested. All clear.” He pressed his front against my back and rested his chin on my shoulder as he watched me unlock the door. “So, once you get a chance to go, we should be good.”
I swung the door open, slammed it shut as I tossed my keys on the table, and pulled Benji into my arms. “I already went.” I kissed him. “All good.”
Benji’s grin broke through even as he tried to contain it by biting his lip. “So, does that mean…”
“I’m game if you are.” My heart thudded at the thought of taking such a big step with him. I’d never had unprotected sex. Never felt close enough to anyone to feel like I wanted that. Maybe we’d end up not liking it, but I definitely wanted to share the experience with Benji. He was the only person in my life I could ever imagine wanting to share that with.
Benji turned and raced to the bedroom as he stripped off his clothes.
I laughed and followed him.
By the time we fell naked on the bed, we were locked in a tangle of lips, tongues, arms, legs, and hard cocks all rubbing and thrusting. I rolled to the side and grabbed the lube but left the condom in the drawer.
Benji shifted to his back, stroked his cock and spread his legs. “This way okay? Want to see you.”
“I love watching your face as I fuck you.” The gruffly whispered words caught in my throat. I slicked my dick and rubbed a finger against Benji’s entrance. “Want your legs spread and wrapped around me while I come in you.”
He groaned and thrust his hips up as I teased his hole. “Can’t wait to feel you skin to skin. Wanna feel your hot cum in me.”
I pushed a pillow under his ass and pressed my cock against his pucker. As Benji’s body opened for me, I reveled in the heat of his channel and the neediness of his whimpers. “Fuck, it’s good. So damn hot.”
Benji wrapped his legs around me and pulled me down so we were chest to chest. “I love you,” he whispered before kissing me.
The words, the emotion in my heart, the extreme intimacy of our connection was overwhelming. “I love you,” I repeated his words. This was different, this was something even more amazing than before. I slowly thrust in and out of his body, my arms wrapped under his armpits, gripping his shoulders. “Is this okay? You want it harder?”
Benji shook his head, the shimmer of a tear at the corner of his eye. “No, this is perfect, just like this. It’s so good, so different. Not just the condom thing, but it’s like we’re not just fucking now.” Benji’s eyes never left mine as I pumped slowly into him.
“Not just fucking, never gonna be just fucking again. Love you so damn much.” I buried my head against his neck and savored our lovemaking. Our sweat-damp skin, the salty scent of his leaking cock, his breathy moans, the soft slap of our flesh, the heady concoction filled the room and delighted my senses. “Jack yourself,” I demanded.
Through the tangle of our bodies, Benji gripped himself and began to pump his cock. “God, Rhys, I’m so close. Wanna come, want your hot cum in me.” He shuddered as an orgasm rushed through him.
Benji’s ass clenched around my dick and I slammed deep as I erupted. My cock pulsed over and over as I spilled my load. I pulled f
rom his body and jacked myself through the final spurts. The sight of my seed escaping Benji’s hole did crazy things to me and I used my throbbing shaft to collect the spunk and press it back in as Benji whimpered and ran a hand through the mess he’d made on his stomach.
“Holy shit, that was hot.” Benji traced a sticky finger along my bottom lip and grinned as I licked at his release and pulled him close for a salty kiss.
I pushed the taste of him from my lips to his tongue and shivered at how he trembled under me. “I love you. I know I’m supposed to be learning to accept that things aren’t perfect and never will be, but that was quite possibly the most perfect sex I’ve ever had.”
Benji laughed as I pulled from him and rolled him into my arms. “Okay, I’ll have to give you that one. That was damn near perfect.”
13
Benji
The five of us sat in the living room and played a hilarious game of Cards Against Humanity.
Bode, Sage, Kyson, and I had done our usual brunch and groceries, then Rhys had come over with the card game and we’d been laughing our asses off for nearly two hours.
“You guys want to get pizza for an early dinner?” Kyson asked as he flipped through coupons on the coffee table.
Once pizza was ordered, we lost interest in the game when Bode went to the kitchen to get us all bottles of the new cider he was carrying at the bar.
“Okay, question time.” Sage waved a paper around. “I saw these in a magazine at school the other day and ripped them out. Thought they’d be fun. Sort of like that old Newlywed game.” Sage read question number one. “Who’s the better kisser?”
“Me.” Bode smirked. “But I’m only good because I’m kissing you.”
Sage blushed.
I bit my lip. “I think Rhys is the best kisser and just makes me look good while doing it.”
“Oh God.” Kyson looked toward the ceiling. “Kill me now.”
“Question two. What’s your sign and your partner’s sign?” Sage giggled quietly when Bode squeezed his thigh. “Easy. I’m a Scorpio and Bode is an Aries.”
“Benji’s a Taurus, I’m a Libra,” Rhys said. “Wait, how are twins different zodiac signs?”
Bode laughed. “I was born on May 13 a couple minutes before midnight, Benji was born on May 14 just a couple minutes past midnight.”
“Ah, gotcha.” Rhys nodded.
Kyson tapped his phone and began to read. “Sage and Bode, here’s what yours says, ‘When Aries and Scorpio come together in a love match, it can be the kind of relationship where they both wonder how they ever managed apart. Both Signs love power and they can achieve just about anything—as long as they learn to share the spotlight. Scorpio is very focused; once they set their sights on Aries, Aries is most likely powerless to resist.’”
“Accurate.” Bode laughed.
Kyson chuckled and clicked a couple times on his phone screen. “Benji and Rhys, here’s yours, ‘When Taurus and Libra come together in a love affair, it can be the unification of two halves of a whole. These two Signs are thought of as being karmically linked. They’re both looking for security in a relationship and they share a love of art, poetry and culture. This relationship may start slowly as, on the surface, they might have few common interests. However, once they understand one another they may learn they have much more in common than was first apparent.’”
I shrugged. “Well, the signs have spoken.”
“Definitely spot on with the security in a relationship and love of art and culture. How do we feel about poetry?” Rhys leaned in to me.
I lifted a shoulder. “Can’t write it, don’t mind reading it.”
“Okay, Kyson, what about you?” Sage asked.
“Me?” Kyson looked surprised. “I’m a Pisces.”
Tapping my chin, I grinned. “Hmmm, when is Bay’s birthday?”
“I know it’s early July. Maybe July 1?” Bode offered.
I raised my brow. “Go ahead.” I nodded at Kyson.
“What?” He acted as if he didn’t know.
“Look up your signs.” I couldn’t even hide how much I was enjoying the moment.
Kyson huffed but humored me. “Only because you’re like a damn dog with a bone and I know you won’t let up.” He tapped his phone. “July 1 is Cancer.”
“And what’s it say about Pisces and Cancer together?” I batted my lashes.
“Pisces and Cancer, ‘A love match between a Cancer and a Pisces is a positive meeting of spirits. Both signs are basically tolerant and sympathetic, and Pisces is easily energized by Cancer’s ideas. A Pisces mate can open a Cancer’s eyes to the world of creativity and spirituality. In turn, Cancer’s practicality can be a guide, leading Pisces to the fruition of their dreamy, utopian ideas. This celestial pairing benefits from an amazingly strong and multifaceted emotional bond.’”
“Ohhh, a positive meeting of spirits. That sounds promising.” Rhys teased.
“An amazingly strong and multifaceted bond?” Bode pursed his lips. “Like friendship first? You two may not be together at this point, but you sure as hell have a bond. I think it would be a good match.”
Sage smiled and spread his arms. “The signs have spoken.” He laughed. “Okay, moving on. Number three. Who is most likely to deal with a spider?” Sage batted his lashes.
“No worries, I’ll save you, baby.” Bode chuckled.
“Benji would likely kill the spider, but only because I’d be clueless that it was even there.” Rhys shrugged. “I space out sometimes.”
“I’m only killing it if it’s somewhere it’s not supposed to be.” I took Rhys’s hand. I adored the fact that Rhys fit in so well with our little group.
“Number four. What are they most likely to end up in jail for?” Sage raised his brows. “Oh, this should be good.”
“Okay, let’s see.” Bode crossed his arms over his chest. “Sage would end up in jail for extreme sass and sarcasm. Can you go to jail for being too smart?”
Sage elbowed him.
“Rhys would go to jail for pointing out imperfections,” I teased.
Rhys pretended to gasp. “Then Benji would end up in jail for voyeurism. Always sneaking up on people and watching. He’s like a damn cat.”
Bode laughed. “Pretty sure he’s only watching you.”
“Kyson would go to jail for illegal hands. Seriously, the massages you give should be illegal.” Sage groaned. “But I’m glad they aren’t. Soooo good.”
Bode groused, “Still don’t like the thought of his hands all over you.”
“You can come to my next one and watch. Maybe join in.” Sage waggled his brows.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Kyson interjected. “I don’t run that type of place.” He pointed a finger at Bode and Sage. “You two want to play massage parlor, keep it behind closed doors.”
We all laughed.
“What about me?” Bode asked. “What would I go to jail for?”
“Bar fight,” we all chorused and erupted in laughter.
When he’d caught his breath, Sage handed the sheet to Kyson. “Read number five.”
Kyson cleared his throat. “What are they most likely to go viral for?”
“I’ve got this one.” Bode rubbed his hands together. “Sage is going viral for spouting off random facts about a wisdom of wombats and a pandemonium of parrots. Benji and Rhys are going viral for some sort of naked art. Bay is going viral for some sexy silver fox shit. Kyson will go viral with a sensual massage video. And me? I’m going viral when I unload on Dick Silver’s ass someday.”
We all laughed.
“Naked art, huh? That gives me ideas.” Rhys’s eyes widened suggestively.
“Number six. Would they rather spend an evening in with you or out with you?” Kyson read.
“Bode would want to go out, but he’d bring me home early because he’d know I’d want alone time,” Sage answered confidently and Bode nodded his agreement.
“In,” Rhys and I chimed in at the same time.
>
“I’m more of a homebody,” Kyson added. “I wouldn’t mind going out, but definitely not an all-nighter.”
“Hmmm, Bay seems to like to be at home as well.” I winked.
“That’s because he’s got a kid to take care of.” Kyson shook his head.
When we finished the game of questions, Sage smacked a kiss against Bode’s lips. “I have to study. I’ll come down later.”
Kyson glanced at his phone. “I told Bay I’d sit with Arlo for a bit.”
I pulled a hopeful face.
My cousin rolled his eyes. “I’m feeding the kid, letting him play in the bathtub, building some Legos with him, and putting him to bed. Bay will come home, tell me thank you, and leave. End of story.”
I wrinkled my nose. “I need to take over writing that story. Plot twist!”
Goodbyes were said and soon Rhys and I were in the living room alone.
“I think I like having short hours on Sundays.” Rhys put an arm around me and pulled me close. “We’ve got a bit before we need to be at the studio. Nap? Movie? Walk?”
“You know what sounds good?” I sat up and took Rhys’s hand.
He waited.
“Macarons.”
“Yessss,” he hissed. “Let’s go get some. We can ask them if they’d provide treats for the studio from time to time.”
“Pick up macarons, walk to the studio, make tea, and lounge around upstairs before we open?” I raised my brow hopefully.
“Perfect.” Rhys kissed me. “But I’m prepared for imperfection.” He nuzzled his nose against mine and we laughed softly.
We enjoyed the sunshine as we walked to The Macaron Bar. We each picked six cookies ranging from salted caramel to Madagascar vanilla to red velvet to pistachio to dark chocolate. Holding our freshly boxed cookies like kids with special treats, we strolled to the studio.