“I wouldn’t know what I would do to myself if anything happened to you. I refuse to let you in the same room as that evil son of a bitch.”
Sighing, I slouched in my seat. “Look, I know you don’t want to hear this, but your sister and niece don’t feel that way.”
Simon looked at me, anger written all over his face. “How can you say that? They only feel that way because he brainwashed them.”
Raising my hand in surrender, I tried placating him. “I know, I know. It’s just… You’re obviously feeling there is something not quite right. I feel, like you must, that the answer lies with Justin Merryfield. If I can get into his mind, maybe I can get to the heart of what really went on over the years. Come on, Simon. You know it makes sense.”
I could see him contemplating. Just as he was about to answer, there was a knock on the door.
“Hold that thought, Simon. It must be Michael with the pizza.” He saw me dash off the sofa in rapt enthusiasm. I could hear the laughter echoing around the room as I answered the door.
It wasn’t Michael. In my surprise, I almost forgot myself. “Hi, Sime…Stephen.” Just the mere mention of his name had my gut twisting. I could hear the voice in my head telling me I shouldn’t be calling him by that name. He wasn’t Stephen—far from it.
“Hey, Twink...Cassie. Is it okay to visit?”
I moved so he could walk through the door. There was no way I was going to tell him to leave in front of Simon because that wouldn’t look right.
“Hey, boss. How are you?”
Simon rose from his seat with a big smile. “I’m good, thanks. I just thought I’d visit Cassie and see how she’s getting on.”
As they were talking, I glanced over at Simeon. He wore casual jeans and a white V-necked t-shirt. Lord knows how he could wear such a thing with as cold as it was outside. His hair was a sexy, wavy mess, just like Stephen’s. He hadn’t shaved today and sported a rather sexy five o’clock shadow. His eyes were the exact replica of Stephen’s. They were a dazzling shade of blue that could hold your stare for hours. The only difference was that he lacked that natural glint Stephen possessed.
There was also another way I could tell them apart. Simeon had this way of standing while he talked. He kind of leaned to one leg as he relaxed into a conversation. I noticed it when I was in the hospital. I don’t recall ever seeing Stephen doing that.
Just as I was appraising him, Simeon looked over with a glint in his eye. Busted. I didn’t want him thinking my staring was intentional.
“Cassie,” he said with an amused smile. “Simon was just saying you were waiting for pizza.”
Did he? I didn’t hear anything. “Oh...oh, yes. Michael will be here soon with some. I’m absolutely starving.”
I caught the humour in his smile, but I wasn’t going to let him see how much he affected me. He just looked like him—he wasn’t him.
The room fell into an uncomfortable silence, finally broken by a knock on the door. This had to be Michael.
As I swung the door open, I was met by a comforting smile and the most delicious smell. I breathed in deep and sighed. “Oh, wow. That smells heavenly.”
Michael beamed back at me, but the smile didn’t last very long once he spotted Simeon behind me.
“Hey, Michael. I thought I would pay Cassie a visit and see how she’s getting on.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Simon looking back and forth between Michael and Simeon. I imagined he could sense the tension in the air, too.
With a sharp intake of breath, Simon stood up and slapped his hands on his legs. “Well, I must be off. I just wanted to make sure you were healing okay.”
Smiling brightly, I held the door open. “I’ll see you out.” I wanted Simon alone because we had some unfinished business I wanted to wrap up.
Once we were out the front door, Simon turned to say goodbye. “Simon, please let me do this.”
He shook his head. “This is too much. You’ve only just come out of the hospital.”
I held onto the door, gripping it with all my might. “If you won’t let me do this for you, please let me do this for me. I know it sounds selfish, but I need this. I need something to keep my mind off of everything that’s happened. Please.”
Simon fell silent and dipped his head. I was wondering if he was going to say “no” again. In fact, I was expecting it. Finally, he blew out a breath. “Okay. I’ll see what I can organise and be in touch.”
Sighing heavily, I felt rejuvenated somehow. It would beat sitting around the house all day. “Thank you, Simon. That means a lot.”
He laughed. “I don’t know how this can mean a lot to you. Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? I’m the one seeking answers, but you’re the one offering yourself up on a plate for them. I owe you the world for what you’ve already done for me.”
Looking into his eyes, I could see the hurt written all over them. I could see how appreciative he was and it almost made the tears well up.
“Well, I better be off. Sharice will be wondering where the hell I am.”
I thought about her being pregnant and felt empathy for her. “Of course. She must be waiting for you. She needs you now, Simon. You have a child on the way.”
I saw the bright smile and it made one break out on my face. Just that one little gesture had me forgetting my own troubles for a split second.
Taking the steps down to the pavement, Simon nodded. “I’ll be in touch.” And with a wave, he was gone. Time to face the music inside my flat. I didn’t know whether I welcomed it or not.
Shutting the door behind me, I made my way into the room only to find Michael and Simeon eating my pizza with the biggest, cheesiest grins on their faces.
“Hold up a sec. Are you eating my pizza?”
Simeon just smiled and, with a mouthful of pizza, said, “Oh, come on, Cassie. There’s plenty to go around. Come, sit.”
Smiling, I walked over to the table and took a seat. Michael grabbed a slice and placed it on a plate for me.
“You taste,” he murmured between bites. “The best pizza, remember?”
Nodding, I picked up the pizza and thought about tasting what smelled so good. I took one bite and closed my eyes, savouring the flavours bursting in my mouth. I could taste cheese, herbs, tomatoes, sausage, ham—all just zooming its way to the back of my throat. My god, I wanted this. You didn’t appreciate how much you missed these moments until they were suddenly taken from you. I had nothing but hospital food for the past week.
“Wow, watching you is almost perverted.”
I turned toward Simeon and saw his cheeky smile. The one that didn’t belong to him. I couldn’t help it, though. I had to smile back.
“Sorry. I suppose I missed it. Michael, you’re right. This pizza is the best I’ve ever tasted.”
He raised his slice up in salute. “See. I told you.”
As we sat eating, I pondered the uneasy feeling I had in my stomach. Here I was, sitting with both Michael and Simeon, yet there was no animosity. When Michael and Stephen were together, they were constantly at each other’s throats. I understood why, but I couldn’t help feeling immensely sorry for Stephen. He was the outcast—the dark one. I just wished they could see what I saw. Stephen deserved to have this level of intimacy with his brother. It broke my heart to think he hadn’t had that for a very long time.
I shook my head, not wanting to think about it anymore. What was done, was done. Stephen was where he belonged and I hoped he was finally at peace, finally happy.
“So, what happens now?”
My question halted their chewing. “What do you mean?” Michael frowned.
“Does this mean the danger is finally over? I don’t understand how everything can go back to normal now, just like that.”
Simeon placed the remainder of his pizza on his plate. “Well, they’ve all struck now, so I should imagine they’ll go underground for a while. You will still be watched over, just not with the intensity of the la
st time.”
Frowning, I couldn’t fathom that. “Don’t you think that’s rather dangerous?”
Wiping his hands, Simeon leaned back, regarding me. “What do you mean?”
“Well, if they think that’s what you’ll do, won’t they think it will be the best time to strike? Now that all your guards are down?”
Michael looked at me with a smile. Turning his head to Simeon, you could tell he was eagerly awaiting his answer.
“I don’t think—”
“I’m not sure this has been thought through.”
Michael laughed heartily. Frowning, I looked at him. “What’s so bloody funny?”
“Nothing,” he said, almost choking on his pizza. “It’s just nice to watch you like this.”
Folding my good arm, I slunk back in my chair. “Like what, Michael?”
Now it was Simeon’s turn to smile. Throwing my good arm up, I said, through gritted teeth, “And what are you smiling at?”
I wasn’t sure what had gotten into me all of a sudden. I was never normally this confrontational, this argumentative.
Simeon waved his hands in front of him. “Nothing, Cassie. You’re perfectly right in what you ask. Maybe we should pay more attention.”
Exhaling with small sigh, I closed my eyes. I didn’t understand why I was so wound up. Maybe it was just the thought of Stephen.
“Don’t worry, Cassie. Just enjoy your pizza and concentrate on getting better. How about that?”
Looking over at Simeon, I had to wonder if it was that easy. I didn’t think it ever would be.
*****
Several hours had passed before Michael reluctantly said he had to go get ready for work. He was working nights, but he didn’t want to leave me so soon. I assured him I would be fine. Simeon offered to stay with me, but I didn’t think it was a good idea. I needed space to try and clear my thoughts. Even though they calmed me, being around them only masked what I was truly feeling.
As I slowly walked to bed, I heard my phone vibrating. Picking it up, I saw it was Simon. “I didn’t think I would hear from you so soon.”
“I made some calls and set everything up. It was easier arranging it than I thought.”
“Really? For when?”
I heard him hesitate, then sigh. “I had a window of opportunity tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” I asked, shocked. I didn’t think it would be that soon.
“I know. It’s too soon. I’m sorry. Let me cancel it.”
“No! No, it’s fine. What time do I need to be there?”
“It’s set up for ten o’clock. I’ll come around for you at nine-thirty, if that’s okay.”
“That’s fine, Simon. Perfect.”
With a click of the button, the silence filled the room. I edged over to my bed so I could climb under the sheets. It was kind of awkward with my arm in a sling. It still hurt when I moved it, but the pain seemed more bearable now.
I lay back on my pillow, noticing it was only ten, but it felt like I had been up for days. I knew sleep would quickly find me because nothing compared to the feel of your own bed. And, with that notion in my head, my eyes grew heavy and my breathing shallow.
Chapter 5
There it was again. The sound of laughter filling the air. I turned towards it, only to see that bloody door again. Why couldn’t I open it? Why couldn’t I see through it? Why wouldn’t it just open and let me see who was laughing? I knew they were children. I could hear the childlike innocence fill the air. What I couldn’t understand was how important it all seemed to me. It felt like I was on the precipice of finding something major— something monumental.
I gripped my eyes shut and took some deep breaths. I had to try to break down that door. I had to find the answers to my questions.
I felt like the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood. I was huffing and puffing, ready to blow the door down. The laughter was all around me, teasing me with its wonderful sounds of happiness—happiness I so desperately desired.
I was standing at the door. It was within arm’s reach. Closing my eyes, I counted down from ten. Once I got to zero, I slammed my shoulder into the door as hard as I could. Nothing moved, though. I became frantic, kicking and punching it with all my might. But nothing worked. Nothing I could do would open that door.
In my frenzied haze, I could hear another sound. It sounded like my alarm clock. Why was my alarm in my dream?
I turned and could see the door slipping away from me. I tried to reach out, tried to grab hold of anything I could, but I was being swept away by some unknown force.
“No!” I cried, wanting so desperately to find my way back.
Gasping for air, I woke up. My alarm was still ringing, but the sound of my heart was louder. What the hell was with these dreams? They were all the same. Nothing changed. I knew the dream was significant, but I didn’t know why.
With a push of my arm, I managed to switch the alarm off. The pain in my shoulder jolted me, though. It would seem I wasn’t healing as fast as I would have liked.
With a sigh and a shake of my head, I climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom. I took my pain meds and stared longingly at my shower. I knew I had to redress my wound anyway, so maybe I could take this one off and try to shower without getting it wet. I couldn’t see how, but I thought it might be worth a try.
As gently as I could, I took my sling and dressing off. It hurt like hell, but I knew it had to be done. I stared for a while, taking in the sight of the angry wound. It looked sore, really sore, but it was nowhere near as sore as my heart.
I showered…awkwardly. Redressed my wound…awkwardly. Everything I did, I did awkwardly. I missed having two arms.
By the time I managed to get ready, eat, and brush my teeth, it was almost time for Simon to arrive. I barely had the thought in my head when I got a text on my mobile.
It was from Simon, telling me he would be there in five minutes. I also noticed another from Michael at six o’clock this morning.
I thought you might be sleeping, so didn’t want to disturb you. I hope you’re feeling better. I’m going home soon to sleep, but if you need anything, please call. I don’t care if you wake me up. If I don’t hear from you, I’ll pop around later. Take care. xx
I had to smile as I gathered all my belongings and walked outside to wait for Simon. No matter what, Michael still continued to be my guardian angel, watching over me as only a guardian could.
I was still smiling when Simon pulled up. I opened the door, awkwardly pulled myself in, and sighed my frustration.
“It sucks, doesn’t it? I broke my arm once and couldn’t move it for several weeks. Man, it pissed me off.”
Chuckling, I found myself forgetting about my woes. It was just a reminder that sometimes people had it worse off than me.
“It’s just a little awkward. I’m sure I’ll get used to it.”
Simon started down the road. “You always look at things differently, don’t you?”
Frowning, I shook my head. “What do you mean?”
Simon turned a corner. “Well, you’ve been through so much, yet you sit here, as eager as ever, a big smile on your face.”
I almost felt tears at his statement. “You talk about me as though I’m something regal.”
Now it was Simon’s turn to frown. He looked across at me for a brief moment and shook his head. “You don’t see it, do you? I’m not sure what it is, but it makes people reach out to you. You feel, I don’t know, important.”
I couldn’t help it. I started laughing, and Simon quickly followed suit. “What’s so funny about that?”
“It’s not. I just…just don’t know what to say.” What could I say to something like that? Simon obviously saw something in me. I didn’t know what it was, but I wasn’t going to argue with him about it. To each his own, I suppose.
“Just take it as a compliment, Cassie.”
“Okay,” I said, laughing again. “Thank you.”
“No, thank you. I’m not sure w
hat, if anything, will be achieved today. Frankly, it scares the shit out of me. I asked if I could be there with you but, for obvious reasons, they won’t let me anywhere near him.”
“And you are the one talking about me going through so much. Sometimes I suppose it’s easier focusing on someone else so you don’t have to deal with your own pain.” The moment I said it, I regretted it.
Simon saw me wince and reached out to grab my arm. “You know, it’s okay to admit what you feel, Cassie. It’s okay to admit to someone that you feel pain. You’re only human.”
I let my eyes roam over Simon’s face as I smiled. At that moment, I could see our bond was as strong as ever. He was more than just my boss. He was like a brother to me.
“Thank you,” I murmured. Simon smiled, pulled his hand away, and concentrated on his driving.
In another twenty minutes, we were parked outside an immense building. I wasn’t sure what this place was, but I didn’t care. I was here for one reason and one reason only. To get answers for Simon.
“Are you ready?”
Pulling my gaze from the building, I looked at his caring eyes. “Of course.”
“You don’t have to do this. You can pull out anytime you want.”
Nudging Simon with my good shoulder, I smiled. “I don’t think so.”
“I had a feeling you would say that. Come on then. Let’s get this over and done.”
Walking towards the door, I got a sense of trepidation. It didn’t help I was searched and was asked to pull out all my belongings before we ventured in.
We were both given a pass and were met by a small man, who looked to be in his fifties, with a white beard and glasses. “Simon, how nice to see you again.”
Smiling, Simon shook his hand. It led me to believe they knew each other rather well. No wonder Simon was able to pull some strings.
Turning his attention back to me, Simon motioned for me to come forward. “Thomas, this is the lady I was telling you about. Cassie Johnson.”
Taking a deep breath, Thomas held his hand out to me. “Oh, yes. Nice to meet you.”
Her Guardians Lost (Her Guardians Trilogy #2) Page 5