“Stay there. I’ll be right back.” She nodded, but he was already gone. Seconds later he was back with the pitcher from her chiller, and a glass. He filled it and handed it to her.
“Thank you, Con,” she said before taking a long drink. “Okay, I’m ready.”
“Do you remember when we kissed you a few days ago?” Landor asked.
“Of course.”
“After I kissed you, did you feel as though you needed Con or Ari to kiss you? Not just wanted, but needed.”
“Yes, I did,” she replied. “Is that wrong?”
“No, of course not,” Ari said, reaching out to stroke her hair. “It’s just that we’ve never heard of any female experiencing pre tri-phase symptoms in…well…ever. We know from some of the ancient material we have from before the Dark Time that it was once common, but that was a very long time ago.”
She stared at him blankly for a long moment, having no idea whatsoever what he was talking about. She looked hopefully at Con. “Pre-what-huh?”
“Pre tri-phase.”
“Which is what?”
“Let’s say that you’re standing in a room alone, and you’re frightened about something. Then I enter the room. I can sense your fear. I can smell your fear. But I can’t feel your fear. With tri-phase, I could choose to feel your fear exactly as you feel it.”
“The way I felt your arousal,” she said. Con nodded. “I don’t think I like that. I don’t want you three feeling everything I feel.”
“Why not?” Ari asked.
“I don’t know,” she said, frowning. “I just don’t. Please don’t take this wrong but, to be honest, it wasn’t that great feeling your arousal and mine at the same time. Anyway, I thought that’s what pheromones were for. To increase a woman’s desire so that she can handle three men.”
“We are not offended, nor would we have had that happen to you, especially during our first time together,” Landor said. “And you’re right about the pheromones. But increasing your desire is not the same as experiencing the desire of three other people.”
“No, I don’t suppose it is,” Rayne said. “Is that going to happen to me every time?”
“Not necessarily, but it’s impossible to say for certain,” Con replied. “Tri-phase consists of three different and distinct parts, or phases. The phases are sexual, emotional, and physical. When fully developed, which occurs only after soul-linking, we can choose to feel what you feel sexually, emotionally, or physically, and you can choose to feel what we feel in the same way.”
“But I didn’t choose to feel your arousal.”
“No, you didn’t,” Con said. “You experienced what’s known as pre-tri-phase. Early signs of tri-phase that are uncontrolled and random. Once we link, that should cease to happen.”
“Should?”
“No one in living memory has experienced tri-phase,” Landor said. “I’m afraid we can’t predict what’ll happen for certain. We can only guess.”
“Will you three have the same random experience that I had? Will you feel my arousal?”
“No, we won’t,” Con replied. “Tri-phase is grounded in Clan females who are born with the ability. It only begins to manifest after she meets her Rami, and she shares it with them only after they are linked. It no longer exists because our females have been human for so long.”
“Until now,” Rayne said.
“Yes, until now,” Landor agreed.
“I don’t recall reading anything about tri-phase in the conversion reports for the other Clan born females who’ve linked so far,” Ari said.
“No, neither do I,” Landor replied, then shrugged. “There’ve been many changes with the Klanaren in the past few decades, and we don’t always have explanations for them. We can only do our best with whatever happens.”
“Once we link, then I’ll have control of what I feel from you guys, right?”
“If this really is tri-phase, and we think it is, then yes, that’s exactly right,” Landor assured her. “We can link anytime you want, Rayne. We could do it today, or tomorrow. All you need do is tell us.”
Rayne dropped her eyes, knowing that Landor had little trouble reading her true feelings through them. She wished more than anything that they could link right that very moment. But she couldn’t. She needed to remember…something…first. “I won’t say that I’m not intrigued, because I am,” she said finally, deciding not to address the subject of linking. “I can see that it would be fun sexually if we can control it. But it scares me a little too. I don’t like the idea of you guys suffering because I’m sick or in pain.”
“Unfortunately, Rayne, none of us has a choice in this,” Landor said, hiding his disappointment. “We must wait and see what happens, then deal with it in the best way we can.”
“You’re right,” she said, nodding. Then she yawned widely. “Sorry. Guess I’m getting tired now.” She bit her lip again. “We’ll all sleep in here, right?”
“Unless you don’t want us to,” Ari said.
“Of course I want you to,” she said in surprise, then yawned again. “You’re my Rami, aren’t you?”
“Yes, we most definitely are,” Landor said, taking her empty glass and putting it on the bedside table. When he turned back to her, she had a strange expression on her face. “What are you thinking?” he asked, climbing into bed.
“I was thinking that, in spite of everything, I’m happier right now than I’ve ever been, and that I like the way you three look at me.”
“Which way is that?” Con asked, lying down on the other side of her.
“Like…you’re happy, and relaxed, and…,” she trailed off, frowning. “I don’t know. Something I can’t describe.”
“Love,” Con said, smiling at her. “What you can’t describe is us loving you.”
“You love me?”
“Of course we love you,” Ari said. “You’re absolutely perfect for us in every way. You’re smart, beautiful, courageous, funny, and have enough stubbornness to keep us from rolling right over you.”
“You don’t want me to change?” she asked doubtfully. “Not even a little?”
“Not even a little,” Landor said, then held up one finger. “I take that back. There is one thing I’d like you to change, but if you choose not to it won’t change my feelings for you.”
“Okay,” she said, bracing herself. “What is it?”
“Your swearing.”
“My swearing?” she asked with an unreadable expression on her face.
“Please don’t be offended,” Landor said, “but it just doesn’t suit you.”
Rayne smiled, which surprised them. They expected her to be embarrassed, and were prepared for her to be angry, but they didn’t expect her to be amused.
“I suppose I should be glad that we didn’t hurt your feelings,” Landor said stiffly. Rayne’s smile widened.
“I’m sorry,” she said, “I’m not smiling because I’m amused. I’m smiling because I don’t swear at all. Ever. I never have.”
Landor, Con and Ari exchanged confused looks over her head. “What does gula mean, then?” Ari asked.
“It means sugar.”
“Sugar?”
“Yes, sugar. All of the words you hear me use when you think I’m swearing mean sugar in a different old Earth language.”
“But…why?” Con asked.
“Because I can’t bring myself to swear,” she admitted, her cheeks turning pink. “It’s stupid, I know. People swear all the time. They’re just words, right? Sounds put together like any other word. But for some reason, I can’t make myself say swear words and frankly, I don’t want to.”
“We don’t think it’s stupid at all,” Landor said. “We think it says something about you. Something we like. But it doesn’t explain why you say sugar in different languages.”
“Peer pressure,” she said.
“Peer pressure?” Landor asked doubtfully. “Aren’t you a little old for that?”
“I am now, yeah,
” she said. “But you try going to boarding school at the age of twelve with a bunch of girls who think you’re a baby because you can’t, or won’t, swear the way they do. Not fitting in with your peers can be a big problem at that age. I got around swearing by making the other girls think I was swearing. When I refused to tell them what the words meant, it made me seem mysterious rather than babyish. As I got older it became a habit that I never tried to break because I still couldn’t bring myself to swear, and it was a good substitute.” She shrugged lightly. “Most people who know me are aware that I’m only saying sugar and that’s all I care about.”
“In that case, I withdraw my request that you change it,” Landor said. “And I apologize.”
“There’s no reason to apologize. You thought I was swearing, which is what I wanted people to think when I came up with the idea in the first place. I can hardly blame you for that. I am curious though.”
“Yes, we do swear occasionally,” Ari said, already knowing what she was going to say.
“Bit of a double standard, don’t you think?”
“I can see how it would appear that way if you don’t know all the facts,” Con said, winking at her.
“Good point,” she replied. “So what’re the facts?”
“We don’t object to women swearing as a general rule. Some it suits, some it doesn’t. It’s the same for men.”
“We don’t think swearing suits you, but we’d never try to tell you how to talk, or try to govern the words you use,” Landor added. “Like I said, we’re just a bit old fashioned.”
“I like that kind of old fashioned,” she said. “Anything else about me you’d like to change?”
“I’m looking forward to the day you return to your previous hair length and color,” Ari said.
“And I don’t like those contacts you wear,” Landor added. “They hide your true self from me.”
“That’s it?” she asked in surprise. “Truly?”
“There may be things we don’t like now and then,” Con said. “But that’s true of all people. I’ve no doubt at all that my bad habit of saying things I don’t mean when I’m angry will irritate you on a fairly regular basis. So, no, we truly don’t want you to change at all.”
“I love you guys,” she said, smiling happily. They returned her smile, but said nothing. She frowned. “How do you already know that? It isn’t that tri-whatever it was you talked about earlier, is it? Did you forget to tell me you can read my mind or something?”
“No we can’t read your mind, and no, it’s not tri-phase,” Landor said, his smile widening to a grin. “You told us you love us earlier, before you went to sleep.”
“Well, that’s all right then,” she said, then yawned so widely that her jaw made a popping sound. Landor laid down on his back and pulled her over on top of him. Con raised the blanket to cover her back, and she snuggled in, closed her eyes, and let sleep take her away, secure in the knowledge that her men would never let anything harm her. For the first time in a year, she felt truly safe.
Chapter 13
365 Days in the Future
Rayne knelt in the straw beside the once magnificent golden dragon and wiped her face. She’d cried so many tears since discovering Salene that she was surprised she had any left. She turned off the hand terminal, then stared down at it, thinking.
“Can you send the hand terminal back with me, Wolef?”
“No, Solin, I’m afraid not.”
“A lot of new jump points have been discovered in the past decade or two, so it might be possible to return and destroy this place in less than eight days. For my sister’s sake, I must try. But I can’t afford to waste any of that time trying to remember all of this first.”
“You required less help from me tonight than I expected, so I have some energy left,” Wolef said thoughtfully. “Enough, I think, to send you and that garment you’re wearing, along with a simple memory or two.”
“Would a memory of Salene and what happened to her be too complicated?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so. I could insure that you remember you traveled back in time one year, though.”
Rayne stood up, then bent to brush the straw from her knees. She paused with one stiff stalk in her hand, then straightened slowly, spinning it between her fingers. “I could use this straw to write a message for myself.”
“On what?”
“It would have to be on this shift, since it’s the only thing you can send me back with.”
“And what will you use as ink?”
“The only fluid I have at my disposal,” Rayne said, walking around to the front of the dragon whose snout was nearly as high as she was tall. “I can use one of your claws to scratch my arm deeply enough to make myself bleed. What do you think, Wolef? Will it work?” She waited a moment. “Wolef?”
“I apologize, Solin,” he said. “I’m just a little overwhelmed by the quality of your courage.”
“It’s just a little blood,” she said, embarrassed. “Do you think it’ll work?”
“Yes, Solin, I do believe it will,” he replied. “I suggest you write your message on the inside of your shift, however, in case the Doftle catch you.”
“You think they’ll catch me?” Rayne asked, her heart skipping a beat in fear.
“Unfortunately, someone has noticed that the maintenance Doftle on duty tonight is missing. He doesn’t suspect foul play as yet, and is on his way to check the restrooms and cafeteria. We have a little time before they begin searching for him in earnest, but I’ve no doubt that when they do they’ll begin with the cells.”
“Then I best hurry,” she said. She bent and quickly selected several strands of hay and twisted them together to form a stiff bunch. She pulled off her shift, turned it inside out, and spread it out on the straw. Then she chose the smallest claw on one of Wolef’s front feet and, without hesitation, dragged her left arm across the point.
It took much longer to write the messages than she’d expected, and a lot more blood, too. “They’ve found the dead Doftle in your cell, Solin,” Wolef announced just as she finished. Rayne gathered the shift, pain baton, card key and hand terminal together, then froze as the sound of voices reached her.
“Climb in between my forelegs and hide beneath my neck,” Wolef said urgently. She immediately did as Wolef said, ducking down into the tight space just as the cell door lock thunked, then slid open. Heavy footsteps approached the dragon, paused, then walked all the way around him. Rayne kept her head down and her eyes squeezed shut, hardly daring to breathe. Finally, the footsteps went back toward the door. She heard the door slide shut, then the thunk as the lock engaged, but she continued to wait for Wolef to tell her it was safe.
“They’ve searched all the cells but they suspect you’re still on this level,” Wolef said after a few moments. “They’re going to activate the cell cameras. It’s time to send you back.”
Rayne pulled the shift on over her head, then stared at the objects she’d stolen from the Doftle she’d killed. “What should I do with these?”
“Would you like me to send them to the past?”
“Do you think I’ll need them?”
“Anything is possible,” Wolef replied.
“Then yes, please,” she said.
“Tuck them in between my toes. The webbing will prevent them from slipping to the floor when they change the straw.” Rayne did as he asked, making sure they couldn’t be seen. “What memories would you like me to send you back with?”
Rayne had been thinking about that. “You said one or two, right?”
“Three if they aren’t complicated.”
“All right then, I’d like to remember that I was sent back in time, that no one can know I’m there, and, if possible, that my memories will soon return.”
“Good choices,” he said. “They are simple enough that I should be able to send all three of them with you. You do realize that you’ve no choice now but to bring your bears back with you, don’t you?”
&
nbsp; “Yes, I do,” she replied. “That’s why I included the voice key to the Controller spy on the Armadura with my reminders.”
“Very good,” Wolef said. “Are you ready?”
“Yes,” she replied calmly even though she felt scared and nervous. “Thank you, Wolef. For all that you’ve done, for giving me this chance, but mostly for being my friend. I swear I will come back.”
“I know you will,” he said. “Brace yourself.”
***
The first thing Rayne noticed when she woke up to the sound of Landor and Ari talking was that her bed felt a little warmer, and a lot lumpier, than usual. Not in a bad way though. She was more comfortable than she could remember being in a very long time. The second thing she noticed was that there was a strange thumping sound that she couldn’t identify. The harder she focused on it, the louder it seemed to get. By the time she realized it was a heartbeat, she was almost fully awake. She breathed Landor’s scent deeply into her lungs and smiled before the question of what she was doing sleeping on top of him hit her. Her eyes flew open and she lifted her head, surprised that she’d forgotten the previous night’s events for even a moment.
“Good morning,” Landor said from above her. She turned to look up at him and smiled even though she knew her face had to be pink with embarrassment when she realized she was naked, and so was he. Suddenly she stiffened, then sighed.
“What’s the matter?”
“I just remembered something and even though it’s something you guys need to know, I kind of wish I hadn’t.”
“That bad?” Landor asked.
“Not really,” Rayne said. “I mean, it’s not bad in the way that my other memories have been bad.”
“Oh,” Landor said. He glanced at Ari who was standing beside the bed, tying the belt on his robe. Ari shrugged, so Landor looked back down at Rayne and told the truth. “I don’t understand that at all.”
She sighed heavily and pushed herself up. Landor immediately helped her to move off of him so that she was sitting beside him and Ari handed her one of his clean t-shirts. She pulled it over her head just before Con entered with a heavily laden tray. A few minutes later they were all sitting on the bed eating pastry and drinking coffee. Even though Landor displayed no impatience at all, she knew he was worried so.
Rayne's Return (Hearts of ICARUS Book 3) Page 21