“Do you remember when you asked me how we’d be able to find the Facility once we got to Buhell?”
“Yes, of course,” Landor replied. “You didn’t remember.”
“I do now. I wish I didn’t have to tell you this, but I do.” She sipped her coffee, then turned the cup in her hands nervously. “Wolef said that…,” she paused, then cleared her throat before beginning again. “When we were trying to come up with a way for me to pinpoint the exact location of the Facility when I returned, he told me that he could duplicate the calls I sent out, down to my brain waves.” She took another sip of her coffee and waited, hoping she didn’t have to be more specific.
“I’m sorry, Rayne, but I don’t …,” Landor trailed off as the truth hit him. “Oh hell,” he said hoarsely. “You called for us all that time, didn’t you?” She nodded. “Even after hearing our stars be-damned conversation on the mesa, you still called for us. You needed us, and we never came.” He shook his head. “I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to tell us this. You should be furious with us. You should want us to know how badly we failed you.”
“Landor, this is Rayne you’re talking to, remember?” Ari said. “She didn’t want to tell us for our sakes.” Rayne nodded but kept her eyes on the cup in her hands.
“I don’t understand,” Landor said.
“She didn’t want us to know how desperately she tried to reach us because she doesn’t want us to feel badly about it. She’s protecting us.”
A heavy silence fell as all three men tried to absorb the fact that their berezi had been in dire need, and her calls had gone unanswered. It was unthinkable and yet, it had happened.
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am that we failed you so badly, Rayne,” Landor said. “But it’s not your responsibility to protect us. It’s ours to protect you.”
She raised her head at that, her blue green eyes flashing at him. “Firstly, you didn’t fail because you haven’t even lived that year yet,” she pointed out. “Secondly, we have no idea what you did after I was taken in that other timeline, but knowing you as I do now, I suspect you spent every minute of that year searching for me. And thirdly, I’d love to hear you tell my mother that women aren’t supposed to protect their Rami. Let me know when you plan to do that, would you? Because I’d like to sell tickets. The Jasani Women’s Sanctuary could always use a hefty donation.”
“We are more than happy to contribute to the Sanctuary whenever you like, but that is a discussion that can wait for another time,” Landor said. “Right now, I’d like to discuss the matter of you calling for us, and us not responding.”
“Why?” she asked. “In this timeline, where we are right now, it never happened.”
“Not for us, no, but it did happen for you, Rayne, and you were deeply hurt by it.” Rayne stared down at her coffee again. “You needed us, and we weren’t there for you, and that’s a part of you now. It’s engraved on your mind and in your heart, and it always will be. That’s the reason you hid your emotions from us after you arrived. Your subconscious remembered, even though your conscious mind did not.”
“Wolef told me I was being unreasonable,” she said softly. “He said that my calls weren’t very strong, and that it would have taken a miracle for you to have heard me beyond even a short distance, and he was right.”
“No, he wasn’t, and you know that,” Landor chided gently. “If we’d claimed you when you became an adult, we’d have been soul-linked when you were taken. No amount of distance would have prevented us from knowing how much you needed us. We might not have been able to find you, but we would have tried, and you would have known we were trying.”
Rayne felt the regret and guilt radiating from Landor, Con, and Ari, and wished she knew how to convince them to let it go. But she didn’t. “We need to move past that now,” she said. “I wouldn’t have told you about this at all but I had to because Wolef will be copying my calls and sending them out. If it works the way he said, you’ll think the calls are coming from me. Hopefully we’ll be close enough for you to use those calls to pinpoint the location of the Facility.”
“Wait,” Ari said frowning. “How will the current version of Wolef know who you are, or that you’ve gone back in time when you won’t even meet him for another year from now?”
“When I asked him that question, he said that he was capable of maintaining several different timelines at once. Even though I didn’t understand it, and still don’t, all that really matters is that he can do it.”
“That’s true,” Con said.
“Just remember that when you hear what sounds like a distress call coming from me, that it’s not me.”
Chapter 14
Rayne watched her men through the Roar Room’s viewing window as they as they burned off some energy in their bearenca alter-forms. As beautiful as they were, and as much as she loved to watch them, she’d grown more worried, and more preoccupied, since remembering that Salene had been taken by the Doftle.
“What’s the matter, Kisu?” Landor asked, startling her as they entered the ante room.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your run.”
“We were finished anyway,” he said.
“When will we reach Buhell?”
“In about twelve hours,” Con answered. “Early in the morning.”
Rayne sighed heavily as she crossed her arms tightly in front of herself and started pacing back and forth with quick steps.
“We thought that would make you happy,” Landor said, frowning as her frustration increased.
“It does, but I’m also worried because I don’t remember enough yet.”
“You’ve remembered a lot,” Ari said. “You remembered why we needed to get there so quickly. You remembered who abducted you and what they did to you. You remembered who sent you back in time. What else do you need to know?”
“I need to know the most important thing, which is why they abducted me in the first place,” she said. “I don’t know why it’s so important to know that before we reach Buhell. I just know that it is.”
“We know,” Landor said, an expression of regret on his face.
“You know what?” she asked blankly.
“We know why you were abducted.”
“I don’t understand. How could you possibly know that?”
“We got information from Pip’s Controller that we didn’t tell you about,” Landor admitted. “We should have, but we didn’t want to add to the burden you already carry.”
“Wow,” she said softly, looking from one of them to the other. She understood them now, so she knew that they wouldn’t have kept anything from her without a really good reason. “This must be really bad.”
“It is,” Landor replied, wishing he didn’t have to tell her this. “It’s our fault that you were abducted.”
She stared at him for a long moment, so astonished by his statement that she couldn’t think of a single thing to say. Then, several responses flashed through her mind one after the other, ranging from outright laughter to flat disbelief. “I don’t see how you, or anyone else, could have stopped it,” she said finally. “I was transported away without warning, Landor, and they use Blind Sight.”
“That isn’t what I meant,” he said. “I meant that it’s our fault you were targeted in the first place.”
Stunned, she could only form one word. “How?”
“According to the Controller in Pip’s head, he transported genetic material he’d collected from the three of us to an unknown location three days before you were abducted. Along with the material he included the information that you are our berezi.”
Rayne felt the blood drain from her face as the memory she’d been waiting for exploded in her mind like a bomb, set off by Landor’s admission. She clapped her hands to her mouth and spun around, her eyes frantically searching. Seeing that she was about to be sick, Landor picked her up and sped her to the restroom just outside the Roar Room, reaching it just in time.
&nb
sp; A few minutes later she was sitting on the floor, her forehead resting against the cool wall beside her, eyes closed. She was annoyed that the three of them refused to leave her alone so she could be sick without an audience, but she didn’t have the energy to argue about it further.
“Here,” Ari said, gently lifting her head so that he could pat her face with a cold washcloth. The cold helped tremendously. She took the cloth from him and held it against her forehead, her eyes still closed as she struggled not to think about what she’d remembered. When the washcloth warmed she pulled it away and opened her eyes.
“Thanks,” she whispered tiredly. When she moved to stand, Landor stopped her by simply picking her up and setting her on the counter next to the sink. Con handed her a disposable toothbrush from a drawer, and a glass of water.
Once she’d brushed her teeth and washed her face she felt better, but the memories Landor had unintentionally unlocked kept crowding to the forefront of her mind. She looked at Landor, Con, and Ari, tears filling her eyes even though she fought to hold them back.
“Wait until we get back to our room where we have more privacy, Kisu,” Landor suggested, picking her up once more. She nodded and rested her head against his shoulder as he carried her out of the restroom, up the hall, down two flights of stairs and into the master suite, moving at a normal walking speed to give them all time to settle down a little.
Once they reached the master suite Landor set her on the bed while Ari retrieved a clean shirt from the dresser that, just that morning, she’d moved her things into. She smiled her thanks and changed out of her sweat dampened shirt, wishing she could shower. But that would have to wait. Landor removed her shoes, picked her up again, and sat down on the bed with her in his lap. Con and Ari untied the bed curtains, then climbed up to join them.
“We’re ready whenever you are,” Landor said.
“I don’t know how to say this,” she said. “It’s truly…I don’t think there’s a word for how bad this is.”
Landor’s arms tightened around her. “Just say the words,” he said into her hair. “We will deal with it together.”
Rayne reached out with both hands, one to Ari, and the other to Con, needing a closer connection with all three of them. When they took her hands in theirs, something inside of her relaxed a little. Not much, but enough that she could say what had to be said. “The Doftle took eggs from my ovaries, and fertilized them using sperm from their Nomen clones. Clones that they’d genetically enhanced using dragon DNA from Wolef. Out of twenty eight eggs, they ended up with thirteen viable embryos which they implanted in artificial wombs. Then they injected the embryos with a mixture of DNA from the three of you, and…,” she paused, swallowed hard, then started over. “A mixture of DNA from the three of you, and male Xanti.”
White hot fury blasted into her so suddenly and with such force that for a few moments she couldn’t even breathe. She attempted to let the Bearen-Hirus’ emotions roll through her the way she’d done before, but they were far too strong this time. She felt herself being pulled into a well of inky darkness and was helpless to stop it. Panicked, she screamed, which yanked Landor, Con, and Ari back to their senses.
“Raise your shield, Rayne,” Landor said through clenched teeth. “Hurry!”
Wondering why she hadn’t thought of it herself, she reached for her shield and slammed it in place, cutting off the overwhelming emotions coming from her men. “Okay,” she gasped. She looked up at them, startled to find that their eyes were nearly black, their bodies stiff, their teeth and nails too sharp, and their jaws too heavy.
She waited patiently, giving them back some of the time they’d always given her, surprised to find how difficult it actually was.
“We’re all right,” Landor assured her finally. “That was close. Too close. We’re sorry, Rayne.”
“What happened?”
“We started going into a blood rage right here, with you between us,” Landor said, his face turning pale at the thought. Rayne felt a little sick herself. If they’d spontaneously shifted into their bearencas while crowded close against her as they were, it probably would have killed her. “We’re so sorry, Rayne.”
“It’s my fault,” she said. “I should have suggested we stay at the Roar Room before I told you, and I didn’t even think about raising my shield until you told me to do it.”
“We should have thought of that ourselves,” Landor said. “We were all in shock, I think.”
Rayne shrugged, then smiled, surprising all three of them. “I have good news.”
“Good news would be welcome,” Con said.
“It hasn’t happened yet,” she said. “What I just told you about the embryos hasn’t happened. What’s more, it won’t happen for about a year from now. Their first success, the survival of four of those thirteen embryos, occurred shortly before they took me off of the machines. That’s why they took me off, actually. That was five days before my return.”
“You’re right,” Con said, smiling back now. “That’s very good news.”
“This is why you traveled back through time,” Ari said.
“No, it’s not,” Rayne said, shaking her head. “I didn’t find out about the embryos until after I accidentally discovered Salene, which was about an hour before Wolef sent me back in time. I’d stolen a hand terminal and was using it to find out how long Salene had been there, among other things, when I stumbled over my own file. I’m Sample F415 by the way, nice to meet you.”
“Sample?” Landor asked.
“That’s what they call their lab animals,” she said. “Samples. Anyway, that’s how I discovered the reason for a lot of the experiments they’d done on me. Wolef and I spent a long time trying to think of a way to save Salene and prevent the experiments from succeeding. By the time the dead Doftle was found in my cell the only solution we’d come up with was for me to return to the Facility and destroy it before the order for Salene’s abduction was given. That would also prevent them from doing experiments on me since they didn’t start those until after I’d been there for about a month.”
“There was a dead Doftle in your cell?” Con asked, his voice faint.
“Yes,” she said absently, focused on the memories suddenly flowing through her mind. “I took his hand terminal from him after I killed him because we didn’t even know the Standard name for where we were and…oh!…that’s right…that’s also where I read about the Controller spies and found out that number 57 was onboard the Armadura.
“Wolef warned me that I’d have trouble remembering things right away, so I used one of his claws to cut my arm so that I could write those messages to myself using some of the straw in his cell.” She looked up at them apologetically. “I realize I could have been clearer, but I was writing in blood on the inside of my shift, just in case the Doftle caught me before Wolef could send me back in time.”
“Wolef couldn’t send the hand terminal back with you?” Landor asked.
“No,” she replied. “It took extra effort on his part to send the shift back with me along with the three simple memories that I had. He truly did the best that he could. In fact, he gave me the strength I needed to reach his cell after I escaped mine. That’s partly why I was so weak and exhausted when I came back. He warned me there’d be a price to pay. I would still be there if not for him.”
“We understand,” Landor said. “I promise you, we do not mean to malign him.”
“I’m curious about something,” Ari said.
“Which is?”
“What about Wolef?”
Rayne frowned. “I don’t know what you mean, Ari. What about him?”
“He’s been a prisoner for centuries, and he has the power to travel time. He must have tried sending others back before you. Please don’t take this wrong, Rayne, but what does he get out of this?”
“You’re right, he did,” Rayne said. “Three different times he connected with other prisoners and made a deal with them, just like the deal he made with me
. One failed to keep his end of their bargain because he died. The other two chose not to keep their word.”
“What is this deal, exactly?” Landor asked.
“He sent me back in time one year, freeing me from the Doftle. In return, I agreed to make my way back to the Facility as quickly as I could and destroy it. And him. I always intended to return to the Facility. My discovery of Salene just meant I had to get there a lot faster than either of us expected.”
“Shouldn’t we try to rescue Wolef?” Ari asked.
“No,” she replied sadly. “It’s far too late for that. The Doftle have done some truly horrific things to his body, and his brain. He’s completely trapped within his own mind. He can’t even open his eyes. I secretly hoped that when the time came, when I returned to the Facility as I promised, that I’d be able to convince him to let me try to rescue him. But, once I actually saw him, I understood why he wanted his existence on this plane to end. Rescue is not an option for him. I have to do as I promised, and I will do as I promised.”
“Now that you remember so much, there’re a couple of questions we hope you can answer for us,” Landor said.
“I will if I can,” she replied.
“You’re here, with us,” he said. “But where is the version of you that’s only been in the Doftle’s hands for a week?”
“It’s there, in the Facility,” she replied. “But it’s an empty shell now. My soul and my conscious and subconscious minds, all that makes me who I am, is right here, in this body, in this place, in this time.”
“What will happen to you when that shell is destroyed?” Con asked. Though his voice was low, Rayne felt the tension he was trying to hide.
For half a second she considered lying to them. It would be so much easier for them if she could just say that nothing would happen. That the destruction of her other self would have no effect on her at all. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. “I don’t know,” she admitted. Their tension rose, as she’d known it would. “Wolef told me that there were certain rules, or guidelines, regarding time travel for those few who were capable of wielding that magic. One of those rules was that they never sent anyone back to a time that occurred after their own birth which, of course, is exactly what he did with me. He warned me not to come into direct contact with my other self, but he didn’t know what would happen if I did, nor did he know what’ll happen when the other version of myself dies. It was a risk that I understood clearly before I chose to take it.”
Rayne's Return (Hearts of ICARUS Book 3) Page 22