Diving In

by Kristina Mathews

  “You have Miranda.”

  “Yes. And she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” The love he felt for his wife shone in his eyes. In his voice. “Her and my daughters. But you’re still important. I want to make sure you’re okay.”

  “I’m good.” Fisher picked up one of the beer pitchers and nodded toward the back room. “I’m real good.”

  “I’m very happy to hear that.” He grabbed the other pitcher and indicated that she should go first. “So are you in love?”

  Fisher stopped short, barely avoiding to spill her full pitcher. “We just met. It’s way too soon to even ponder that question.”

  “I fell in love with Miranda almost instantly,” Cody reminded her. “And I was stupid enough to let her walk away the first time. I mean, who falls in love with someone in a week? And if it weren’t for the babies, she might not have given me a second chance.”

  “I’m glad everything worked out for you.” What else could she say?

  “I just hope things work out for you, too.” He sounded like he truly meant it. “I hope Kyle’s smarter than I was. That he realizes what he has with you.”

  “You should try to get to know him.” Fisher wanted them to become close. They were brothers.

  “I guess. It just seems like he’s hiding something.”

  “Says the guy who pretended to be his twin when he met his wife.”

  “Yeah, I’m lucky she forgave me.”

  “You’re very lucky.” Cody had fought with Carson; then he took his place on the Yampa River, where he’d met Miranda. When she showed up more than a month later, to tell Carson he was going to be a father, Cody had had to convince her that he’d been the man she’d encountered. The man who would make her fall in love with him.

  “I was a dog.”

  “No, you were a snake.”

  “Speaking of snakes, I can’t believe you caught a rattler. With your bare hands.”

  “I didn’t catch it. It’s more like I threw it in the river with my paddle. Which we’ll need to order a replacement for.”

  “I’d take it out of your pay, but you’re probably going to ask for a raise for adding snake removal to your job description, aren’t you?”

  “Hey, I was just trying to save on workers’ comp costs.”

  “That’s my girl.”

  “No, Cody, I’m not your girl.” She sighed. There was a time when that was what she wanted most. “I’m your river operations manager.”

  “Yes. But you were my friend first,” he reminded her. “You’ll always be my friend.”

  “As long as our friendship doesn’t get in the way of the job.” Or his relationship with Miranda. She’d rather take a corporate job than threaten their marriage.

  “That’s what makes Swift River Adventures so special. We’re not just a company…”

  “We’re family.”

  Yeah. And she had to help Kyle become included in that family.

  * * * *

  Kyle reached for his second slice of pizza, but he noticed Miranda had barely touched her first. One of the babies was sleeping, but the other was fussy. And her father was still getting beer.

  “Let me try.” Kyle offered to take Addy from Miranda. “So you can eat.”

  “Thanks. I don’t know what’s taking Cody so long.”

  He was bouncing the baby happily when Fisher walked in followed closely by Cody. The tension in his posture must have shown because Miranda slid over two seats to talk to him.

  “I know it looks like they have a special bond.” She kept her voice low, so that only he could hear. “They do, but it’s not the kind you think.”

  “So, you’re saying they’re like brother and sister?” He tried not to get too agitated and disturb the baby.

  “Not exactly.” She put her hand gently on his shoulder, and he just hoped it wouldn’t give Cody another reason to be suspicious of him. “I worried when I first saw the two of them together. But I completely trust my husband.”

  “Great.”

  “And I trust Fisher, too.” Must be nice to be blissfully ignorant. “She doesn’t look at him the way she used to.”

  Okay, so maybe she wasn’t totally naïve.

  “But she never looked at him the way she looks at you.”

  He wanted to believe her, but he’d heard from Fisher’s own mouth that she was in love with Cody. Sure, she’d been sleeping with him, but her heart belonged to someone else. It didn’t matter as much when they were just having sex. When all he wanted was her body. But now?

  He was a fool to think he could change her mind. Change her heart.

  The baby let out a loud giggle and both Fisher and Cody turned to the sound.

  Cody looked suspicious, but Fisher… No one had ever looked at him the way Fisher looked at him right now.

  He barely even noticed when Miranda lifted the baby from his arms. Because Fisher was walking toward him. The woman had taken on a snake. For him.

  Could he trust her? Her words, just minutes after meeting him, told him she was emotionally unavailable. But her actions had told a completely different story.

  His whole life, he’d been told lies.

  Dear old Dad had made so many promises. And his mother had told Kyle time and again that this time she believed in him. That this time would be different.

  Women had said what they’d thought he’d wanted to hear. Told him he was the only man in the world for them. Until he wasn’t.

  Fisher had told him she wanted someone else. Yet she’d given her body to him. And in those moments behind closed doors, when it was just the two of them, with no words to exchange, he’d swear she was his, 100 percent.

  Then there was her reaction to his picking up the girl in the bikini. If she didn’t care about him, she wouldn’t have been bothered by it.

  “Hey.” She set the pitcher on the table and wrapped her arms around him. “Having a good time?”

  “Yeah. You?”

  “Sure, but you really should talk to Cody. And Carson. Get to know them.”

  “I’ve been hanging with some pretty ladies.” He smiled at his nieces, who were both sleeping now.

  “Really?” She glanced over at Miranda, who was flirting with her husband, popping a slice of pepperoni into his mouth and laughing at something he said.

  “I don’t think he’s interested in any male bonding right now.” Kyle leaned back in the chair. He reached for his beer, hoping he’d look relaxed. Like a guy who wasn’t once again jealous of the brother he barely knew.

  Cody’s relationship with Fisher was only part of it. Cody had it all. A thriving business, wife, kids. Except for the business, Kyle had never even considered those other things.

  All he’d ever wanted was to make money. Enough to support himself, his mother, and keep her from ever having to rely on Joe Swift. He had enough, more than enough. Bought her a nice little house and set aside enough for property taxes and upkeep on the place. But Joe still came around far too often.

  Kyle had his own condo, not on, but near the beach. He’d bought it at the bottom of the market and the equity was steadily climbing. He had enough investments that he didn’t have to hustle for each new job. Yet the hustle was all he’d ever known. Going back to when he had to mow just another lawn in order to keep the electricity on, there had always been this deep-seated fear that he’d never make enough money. The wolf would always be at his door.

  The funny thing was, he had enough set aside that he could buy Swift River Adventure Company and Resort without using his boss’s cash. Yet, he wasn’t as happy as his brothers. He wasn’t even as happy as the part-time guides who would need to supplement their incomes in the winter, as a lift operator, waitstaff, or a Christmas tree cutter.

  Kyle gave Fisher’s hand a squeeze. Was she happy? At the moment, she was the tal
k of the town. Everyone was telling the story of her heroics with the snake. Even people he’d never met, from other rafting outfitters, had come up and congratulated her. They’d stayed and shared stories. He overheard other tales of Fisher’s bravery and skill. She was well liked, and well respected on the river.

  It seemed like the only one who didn’t know how great Fisher was, was Fisher.

  He blamed Cody for that. Even if he hadn’t meant to, his rejection had hurt her, undermined her confidence, and made her feel like she wasn’t quite good enough.

  Kyle had spent his whole life feeling that way. And he’d give anything he had to show Fisher that she was more than worthy. That she was the best person he knew. The best person any of them knew.

  Chapter 16

  After the snake incident, the rest of guide school was uneventful for Fisher. Nolan, Leia, and Dana had all accepted her job offers. Dana was local, but the other two had gone home to get their gear and make arrangements to be gone for the summer. They would return in time for Aubrey’s wedding.

  And of course, Kyle had taken the job. He’d moved his RV from the paid spot down by the river to the large parking lot behind the guides’ house. He didn’t have hookups, but then he didn’t need them, since he mostly just slept there with Fisher. Slept and made love. They showered at the house, had breakfast and coffee with the other guides.

  Life was good. Work picked up with more kids getting out of school, more people taking vacations and making weekend plans. Sometimes Kyle worked the same trip as her; sometimes he worked with Tyler or Ross or Brooke or Jake.

  Neither of them had talked about their feelings. But he’d treated her with tenderness, respect, and passion. The man obviously cared about her, but the whole idea of falling in love just seemed so out of reach. Something that happened to other women, not her. Women who were petite and curvy and feminine.

  Yet Kyle made her feel like she was beautiful. From that first night, he’d made her feel like someone worthy of being worshipped for her body. He looked at her with smoldering eyes, and a hunger she’d only dreamed of.

  Before she met Kyle, she’d longed to be simply desired. Wanted as a woman, and not just a cool chick who was fun to hang around with.

  Fisher had just gotten out of the shower after a long run on the lower stretch. There’d been a group ahead of them who had nearly flipped at Satan’s Cesspool. They’d lost all their passengers, their guide, and their paddles. Fisher had come up behind them and with her passengers, she’d been able to help them round everyone back into the raft, and they’d even managed to collect most of their gear.

  At least her passengers had been cool about the delay. They were from the Bay Area and were staying in Prospector Springs for the weekend.

  Kyle must have been stuck behind them, because he was coming in as she was heading downstairs.

  “Hey, looks like you already had your shower. I was hoping we could save water and shower together.” His sexy smile made her feel like she did need another shower. A cold one. “But maybe we could order some takeout, take it back to my RV.”

  “That sounds nice, but I’m heading out for Aubrey’s bachelorette party.”

  “Oh, right. That’s tonight.” His voice dripped with disappointment.

  “I shouldn’t be too late.” Since Aubrey was pregnant, it wasn’t going to be too wild.

  She’d suggest he hang out with Cody or Carson, but they would have the babies.

  “Maybe I’ll see if Tyler wants to go grab a beer or something.” He shrugged, even though he seemed to get along with Tyler pretty well. He got along with most people. Especially the customers. They’d already had e-mail reviews just raving about him. Enough that Cody didn’t dare question her decision to hire him.

  “Well, have fun, then.” She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

  “You, too.” He leaned in for a full-on kiss. Fisher melted into him. Reluctantly, she pulled away.

  “I’ve gotta go.” She smoothed her hair and realized she’d forgotten to dry it. They were just going to Lily’s house. They’d swap stories, have some wine or virgin mojitos. They would each bring something naughty and something nice for a gift. Fisher knew Beverly’s sold lingerie, but she couldn’t bring herself to step inside the bridal shop, so she’d made the trek to Roseville to the Victoria’s Secret in the mall. She got a see-through nightie and a cute little cotton robe that was feminine yet comfortable. She also found the cutest little pair of Teva sandals that she couldn’t resist buying for the baby.

  “Let me know if you need to sleep over.”

  “I’m sure that won’t be necessary.” She couldn’t help but feel loved by his concern. “You’re the one who needs to watch out for those strong blondes. I know how much you like them.”

  “There’s only one blonde I’m crazy about.”

  “I’m talking about the beer.”

  “I like the beer, and I’ll pace myself.” He ran his hand up and down her arm, making her tingle all over. “But you know I can’t get enough of the woman.”

  “Careful, we might need to put you into a program,” she teased, but he didn’t seem to find it funny. He stiffened immediately. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.” He shook his head, as if whatever thought he had could be easily dismissed. “It’s just that my parents met in a program. Not booze, but drugs.”

  “Oh, Kyle, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have joked about it.”

  “It’s okay. You didn’t know.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Hell, I didn’t even know until I was an adult. My mom was able to stay clean, just the occasional drink.”

  “And your dad?”

  “Yeah, and my dad. She can’t seem to shake that addiction.” The bitterness in his voice was heart wrenching.

  “No, I mean, was your dad able to get clean?”

  “He had a couple of relapses over the years.” He let out a heavy sigh. “But I think he’s hanging in there lately.”

  “Do they have any idea?” She didn’t really have to ask. Cody and Carson had very little contact with their father. None, since she’d known them.

  “Who?”

  “Your brothers.” She was still frustrated that, although they had all gotten along, they hadn’t become close. And Kyle still hadn’t told them who he was.

  “They don’t give a damn.”

  “How would you know? Have you asked them? I’m pretty sure they don’t even know about you. So how can they care about family they don’t even know they have?”

  “They know they have a father.” He couldn’t hide the bitterness. Was it for his brothers, father, or all of the above?

  “Yeah, but I’m pretty sure they have no idea he had issues with drugs. And they have no idea that he remarried.”

  “He never married my mother.” Kyle’s voice was tight. Tense.

  “Well, I’m sorry to hear that.” She fisted her hands on her hips. She’d held her tongue because she didn’t want to cause problems. She didn’t want him to decide she wasn’t worth the trouble.

  “Look, I don’t really want to talk about this right now.”

  “Yeah, well, I have to go anyway.” She didn’t want to fight with him, but damn it. She cared about him. About all of them. And they were family.

  “Drive safe.” He offered up his sexy, sweet smile, probably hoping she’d drop the issue. And she would. For now. Because if he went to the Argo, there would be plenty of women who would have a hard time resisting that smile. Women who wouldn’t care about his issues with his family.

  “You too.” She headed out to her Jeep, hoping Brooke wouldn’t be too long. Fisher had almost forgotten that she’d offered to drive. Well, at least it would take her mind off her frustration with Kyle and his inability to connect with his brothers. She’d thought for sure they’d be as close as the twins were with each other by now, or at least acknowledge
their kinship.

  As mad as she was at Kyle for not coming clean, she was even more angry at herself for not speaking up before now. She’d known for almost two weeks, and while it wasn’t her secret to tell, she hated keeping it.

  * * * *

  Kyle was ready for a beer. Tyler had jumped on the chance to go out without the women. They’d invited the other guys and most were game. It was Friday night, after all. The Argo would be hopping. It had been three weeks since he’d met Fisher at that very bar.

  Three weeks since she’d cast some sort of spell on him.

  He’d been avoiding his boss’s e-mails. Sure, he’d given the excuse of poor cell coverage, but they had wireless at the guides’ house. He could get on the Internet if he wanted to. He just hadn’t wanted to.

  The deal that seemed like a dream come true—a way to make a ton of money and get back at his brothers at the same time—was no longer so attractive. For one thing, he had quickly discovered that the company was solid. The only reason they would have to give it up would be for the ridiculous amount of money he’d been prepared to offer. But he’d since learned that they weren’t as motivated by money as he’d anticipated. Sure, they needed security, to support their family and pay their employees. They weren’t into making money just for the sake of money.

  He’d learned that some companies were more interested in making a profit, but at Swift River Adventures, they were also about the experience. About taking in all that the river had to offer. He’d taken it in. And been able to share it with his guests. He no longer thought of them as customers, or even passengers. He made sure to include them as much as possible in making sure their trip was memorable and exciting.

  And the tips had been pretty damn good.

  He could get used to this life. Working his muscles on the river all day, and snuggling up to his woman at night.

  Oh, he knew she wouldn’t be satisfied to sleep in a camper forever. Even if it was nicer than most of the homes he’d lived in growing up. But Fisher deserved more.

  She definitely deserved better than to have the company she worked for bought out from under her. Oh, part of the negotiations would include a promise to keep the existing staff, but when the business was resold, that promise wouldn’t be transferred.