Inked Love: An Enemies to Lovers Romance

by Cassidy London

  Perhaps I fell back into my deep slumber because it seemed as if I was dreaming. Familiar voices getting louder and louder. Doors began to slam; floors creaked under the weight of angry pacing steps. Willing myself to move, I finally opened my eyes. My body was sore and stiff as if I had run a marathon. I smiled to myself. I guess in a way that’s what you could call it. I had lost count of how many times we had made love. I wanted nothing more than to roll over under the soft covers and drift back off into a land of restraints and earth-shattering orgasms. But clearly whatever was happening outside the bedroom door was not going away.

  Counting backwards from five, I shot myself out of bed like a rocket and wobbled as if standing on my own two feet was a big effort. I was as naked as I had been last night; the slight stale smell of sex in the air mixed with wine and some major bedhead issues. I must have looked like a train wreck. Oh well. That’s the price you pay for awesome sex. I giggled to myself.

  I could hear JM shouting in French. Every damn curse word in the book. It sounded like he was attacking the entire Catholic Church out there. I needed to move faster.

  Grabbing his white t-shirt from last night I quickly threw it over my head and reached for the doorknob. It was cold, rattling as I turned it. Definitely no sneaking up on anyone around here. Whoever it was would know I was coming. As I did, I caught a glimpse of myself in the little mirror on the dresser. My hair was like a long bird’s nest half tangled across my face and half pulled back on top of my head. Maybe there was a hair tie in there somewhere? My mascara was smudged like I had cried all night; underneath my eyes and across my cheeks.

  But my mouth was still pink; with bee-stung lips pouting out at me. I looked flushed and what was most obvious was how damn happy I looked. For the first time ever, my face looked as happy as I actually did feel inside. With JM by my side, I could take on the world. Looking down at the patch on my arm, I smiled knowing I had a little piece of JM inked onto my skin and tattooed into my soul forever.

  Stepping out into the hall JM heard me right away and called out. “Stay there Lex you don’t need this shit.”

  Then I heard it. It was shrill, high pitched whiny. It was a voice I’d know anywhere…

  My heart may have stopped beating for a second; my feet definitely stopped me in my tracks. Suddenly I felt weak and nauseous at the same time. My heart was racing as adrenaline flowed quickly through my veins igniting that fight or flight response I’d known most of my life.

  She stepped around the corner. The sound of those high heels was unmistakable. Pulling herself up to her full height she seemed larger than life. The fire in her eyes was that of pure hatred, squinting towards me, sending out daggers of spite and hate.

  “This is where you have been all these months? Do you have any idea how long it’s been Alexis? Do you?”

  “Uhh…” I stammered. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Mother.”

  “Three weeks!” She shrieked now pointing her index finger at me. “Three weeks since anyone has heard from you. How dare you, you selfish little bitch! I’ve done everything for you, helped you to get the man you needed, the job you wanted, the best schools, the best trips, the best of everything-- and this is how you repay me?”

  JM side stepped her putting his arm around me and pulling me in close. Literally holding me together.

  “Back down Marjorie!” He warned.

  “You don’t answer your phone, you don’t text. Everyone’s been trying to reach you. We didn’t even know if you were alive! Do you have any idea how long I’ve been worried sick?” Tears immediately sprang to her eyes. They looked real but I knew her better than that. They were not tears of concern for me but tears of embarrassment for all the shame I’d put her through publicly.

  5...4…3…2...1 stop. I counted silently. “Mother you have no right to be here. It’s been my choice and I clearly told you, dad and that asswipe of an ex fiancé, that I wasn’t coming back to Toronto! It’s not my fault if you’re all so self-absorbed that you didn’t listen to a word I even said.”

  I was shaking now, my fists clenched, nails digging into my sweaty palms.

  “Look at you…this is who you want to be with?” She said motioning to JM. “Like a little whore. Naked in his clothing. You should be ashamed of yourself for lowering your standards so much.”

  That stung. My words were stuck in my throat unable to defend my lover. I reached up to wipe a tear from my eye and that’s when she saw it.

  A look of horror crossed her face her eyes widened and her hand rose up to cover her mouth. “Tell me that’s fake.” She whispered.

  JM squeezed me tighter. “You want me to take care of this?” He whispered in my ear. I shook my head. “Just stay with me.” I answered and squeezed him tighter. “Toujours mon amour. Je suis dans ton coin pour toujours. I’ll always be in your corner.”

  “Actually, JM did it for me. Just yesterday in fact. And it’s the most beautiful artwork I’ve ever seen.” I smiled. Finally, my moment had come. I was calm, collected and the world seemed to silence itself around me.

  “Mom, I’ve loved you and dad all my life. I always did everything you said. I took your advice and followed the path you laid out for me. But when I needed you most, you both betrayed me. Your own daughter. It’s YOU who should be ashamed.” I paused, sucking more air into my lungs. “Yet, I know you cannot be-- because that would require having some sort of conscious-- and you have none. JM is the love of my life. His art is everything to me. It is a symbol of our love and I wear it proudly.”

  She said nothing. She just stared coldly into my eyes.

  “For the last time, I will not be returning to Toronto. Not now. Not ever.” I continued. “Goodbye Mother.”

  Turning on my heels, I walked back into the bedroom, my head held high. I felt …nothing. The door had slammed behind me, and I was freed. I heard JM escorting her with difficulty out the front door, and telling her that if she or anyone else tried to return he would be calling the police and issuing a restraining order. I had to laugh at that. JM would likely never call the cops, at least not until he punched out everyone on his own.

  The front door closed and he came back into the bedroom and sat next to me on the bed. His arms wrapped around me and held me close. His embrace comforted me and it felt like the place I’d been looking for all my life. Home.

  Chapter 27

  It was like being reborn. Layers of tears became encrusted on my skin. Each pent-up moment released like an unclogged tap. Pained seared through my chest so intensely I thought it may leave a permanent hole in my body. The only thing that kept me from breaking in two was his never-ending hold on me. His arms bound tightly around me as if to help stop the pressure of the wound. He pecked gentle kisses on the back of my neck as my body shook like an earthquake of despair. Everything I knew was gone again. I wasn’t sure my body or my heart could handle any more pain. I was damaged. Possibly beyond repair.

  “Lexi…” his voice whispered my name like a shadow in the dark. “You must get up now mon amour”

  The darkness seemed to last forever. Even long after I got up out of bed and made my way around our daily routine. A dark cloud of sadness never left me. How could I be the woman he needed and wanted when I was like this? As supportive as he had been, I was starting to see his frustration with me. I wasn’t living just simply existing. He needed more and I knew it. The more I thought about it the worse it felt. Sending me spiraling back down again, just as I had seen the truth.

  Hope would be dashed from his beautiful eyes as he came through the door at the end of the day. All I had for him was silence.

  Angela was the only one I could talk to. And even then, we didn’t talk, just texted.

  “Lex, he’s losing his mind! You need help girl! Today he asked me if I knew a therapist who would come to the house.”

  “Meh…” was all I could type back.

  “Seriously Lex, it’s been weeks. Let me at least take you for lunch?” She begg
ed.

  “Umm… sure Ang. How about tomorrow?” I answered absentmindedly as another text came in.

  It was from an unknown number. I hesitated for just a second before clicking it open. As soon as I did, I instantly regretted it. A picture of JM in his shop with his arms around none other than Desi. FUCKING DESI!! There was a charge of energy between them that was unmistakable. JM’s hand was resting on Desi’s ass, his fingers casually pushed into the back pocket of her jeans. It was only a profile shot but even from just the side of their faces, it seemed obvious that they were enthralled with each other.

  Here I was at home and depressed and he was hanging out with Desi. Maybe more than hanging out. Maybe…I looked at the picture again. What the hell? Who had sent me this? Was he sleeping with her?

  “Ang…I have to go.” I choked, unable to say more. “I’ll call you later.” I just couldn’t dump this on Angela too. She already had dealt with enough drama because of me. Besides…she had warned me about JM. FUCK! She had warned me! Why the hell hadn’t I listened?

  My body began to shake as the tears stung my eyes. I felt my heart breaking, each piece slowly peeling off and falling to the floor. Maybe he had just been playing a game? Pretending to care but fucking Desi’s brains out at the same time? I wondered how long it had been going on. I had known he had been distant lately but not for a second did I think that my recent troubles would push him into another woman’s arms.

  My hands were shaking. Maybe this wasn’t true? Maybe someone, maybe my mother was fucking with me again? It couldn’t be though. My mother was well and truly gone for good. But what was obvious to me was that JM was done with my shit. He needed someone to be there for him and I couldn’t even get up out of bed. Even if he hadn’t slept with Desi, this picture was a clear sign that my behavior was pushing him towards her. I ran my hand through my hair as I cried. A sharp sting came rushing through my chest at the thought of us being well and truly over. I loved him so much. I loved him for everything he had done for me and for everything that he was. But the reality was that I was broken, and a man who had his own issues didn’t need a broken woman. Maybe this was a sign-- a sign I needed to follow.

  Logan. Logan’s words echoed in my mind. It had been years since we had seen each other in person, yet he had texted me. Maybe I could escape this mess; this heartbreak…

  Maybe Whistler was the answer after all?

  Wiping my tears with the back of my hand, I tried to focus on holding together what was left of my life. How stupid was I to think that I could truly fall in love. I was nothing more than damaged goods. I would never be good enough for a man like Jean-Marc.

  Despair came in waves that left me shaken and beaten on the floor. Thankfully no one but the walls had to bear witness to this meltdown, because my ego couldn’t bear the shame.

  It was just about noon when I had everything packed.

  JM had texted me twice throughout the morning and I had ignored him. I knew he had a client for a big back piece after lunch. This would buy me enough time to get to the airport without any drama. As those thoughts crossed my mind, an ear-piercing wail filled the room yet again. Nothing made sense anymore. One minute I was angry with him, the next I was crying my eyes out. In some ways, it was like being a fly on the wall, watching a heart wrenching movie play out in front of me.

  Throwing my phone in my purse I grabbed my luggage and walked out of the apartment, the place that had changed my life over the past four months. My Uber ride was already waiting for me downstairs. It took less than a minute to load everything I owned in the world in the trunk, and finally head off to the airport. I wasn’t even sure what I was going to do when I got there. Do people really just approach the counter and ask for a seat on the next flight out? Maybe I had watched too many movies. Except mine never seemed to have a happy ending.

  *****

  While on the flight, I made a mental note to text Angela when we landed. Whistler didn’t always have good reception and the chances of my brother not even having Wi-Fi were pretty high. The flight to BC was approximately six hours. But then, with the additional three-hour time difference-- I knew I’d be exhausted by the time I got back up to Logan’s place in the mountains. That was providing, he would pick me up at the airport like he had promised. I mean, he did say he would… but I knew my brother. Scatterbrained-- unable to tell time-- and generally stoned. That was his MO. So, I wouldn’t be too disappointed if he didn’t show. I’d already had resigned myself to getting a room at the airport hotel if things didn’t work out tonight.

  I still didn’t believe Logan had extended an invitation. Had it really been over eight years since I’d seen him in person? Probably… possibly even longer. To say we really didn’t know each other anymore was an understatement. We were practically strangers bonded by blood.

  Whatever. At one point, we had been close and I really didn’t have many other options. I remembered back when we were kids and we had traveled to Montreal for a wedding. We had been walking through the Old Port of Montreal, (a place that after this past summer, I now knew and loved well); I had a vague recollection of the secret looks between Logan and I. Not to mention Logan teasing me about the dark and dangerous type that had caught my attention that day. Back then, we barely needed any words-- just a look and smirk would connect and band us together against our parents. Particularly, our mother. Logan had always hated her more than me it seemed.

  Baggage claim wasn’t too bad, and in just a short time I was headed out of the airport. Of course, Logan was nowhere to be found. I had already messaged him three times without an answer. I would give him another fifteen minutes, and then I’d head over to the airport hotel and settle in for the night.

  Then I heard his voice. “Lex!”

  Wow. He was actually here. I was amazed that he’d come through. There he was, my big brother slowly waltzing over towards me. His dirty blond hair was long and shaggy. He had a healthy wind burn on his nose and cheeks, and a smile wide enough to light up any room. He pulled me into a bear hug and held on tight.

  “Logan! Can’t… breathe!” I gasped.

  “Shit little sister! You’re looking good!” His compliments made me blush. “Guess it’s been a few years huh?” He shrugged his shoulder sheepishly.

  “Yeah just a bit but hey we’re together now and I’m really looking forward to spending time with you. Catching up.” I answered.

  “Yeah me too but I can’t say I wasn’t shocked when you messaged me. Want to talk about why you’re here?”

  I shook my head, the pain still too fresh in my mind and in my heart. “Not any time soon dude.”

  He seemed to understand. “Okay sis, no problemo.”

  Logan was driving a red pickup. He threw my luggage into the back, and we headed off north on the “sky to sea” highway.

  The scenery was just spectacular. Evergreen trees lined the highway on the right-hand side, while views to the left were of the city of Vancouver.

  The drive was a couple of hours so it gave Logan and I time to catch up. Seems he’d been doing the ski instructor thing ever since he came out here. Off season, he would bartend. Logan seemed perfectly happy being a perpetual teenager despite the fact he was almost thirty.

  “Logan, ever wonder what would have happened to you if you had stayed in Toronto?” I asked him because I still didn’t know exactly what had propelled him to leave. Hopefully this would give me some insight.

  Logan laughed a deep throaty chuckle. “Stayed... in... Toronto? Lex that would have been death for me. All they ever wanted were little puppets to control. Mom and Dad had our lives planned out for us before we were even born. I’m not cut out for that shit. I had to get out. As soon as I had an opportunity, I took it and never looked back.”

  There was silence between us.

  “Listen…I’m sorry you went through what you did. It was really shitty what they and that asshole did to you. You deserve a hell of a lot better.”

  “How do you know wh
at happened?” I questioned carefully. I hadn’t told Logan much of anything yet it seemed like he knew more than he was letting on.

  “Well…” he said slowly. “I still have friends out east and you know…people talk Lex. Besides, Mom tracked me down at least twice since you’ve been in Montreal. She seemed to think I’d rat you out or something.”

  “You spoke to her?” I felt me voice crack with emotion.

  “Nope. She left me messages though. Of course, I never called her back. ‘Cause you know… I don’t call anyone back.” He winked.

  I breathed a sigh of relief. At least he was still my Logan. Time hadn’t changed him all that much.

  “So, you want to tell me about the dude you’re running from this time?”

  I felt my chest close up at just the reference of him. I hugged my arms around my body in an effort to hold myself together. Logan must have noticed my physical discomfort because he reached over and gently squeezed my arm. Our eyes locked and suddenly it was just me and Logan again. Playing in the backyard; running through the park; hiding from our mother under the bed or behind a tree; kicking each other under the table. It was me and my big brother. I loved him and had looked up to him all those years ago. And right now, damn I was realizing how much I had missed him.

  “Okay…” I began. “Well you remember Angela right?”

  “Fuck yeah! She was hot!” he exclaimed.

  Trust Mr. Ladies’ Man to remember that. I chuckled.

  “Yeah well, she invited me to come and stay at her Airbnb in Montreal after the whole thing went sour back home. Anyway, on the drive down, I had stopped at the old Kingston Pita Pit.”

  “Aww shit, the Pit? I remember that place. I remember puking my guts out back behind it!” Logan laughed giving me a moment of mild relief from my nausea.