The People vs. Cashmere
Page 8
“Right.” He pulled himself away. “Two and a half cups of flour.” I nodded, measured it off, and poured it into a bowl.
“Two teaspoons of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt.” He cracked six eggs and mixed them in a bowl, while I mixed the dry ingredients.
“Cashmere, you know what I always wanted to ask you?”
I scratched the sides of the bowl with the spoon. “No. What?”
He added some vanilla to the eggs and continued to beat them. “Where is your real mother?”
I paused on the mixing for a moment. Then I shook my head and went back to mixing. “I don’t know. Gone”
He gave me a weird look, poured three cups of white sugar in the bowl of eggs, and stirred slowly, so the sugar wouldn’t splatter. “What do you mean, she’s gone? Gone to where?”
I didn’t respond.
He poured in some unsweetened chocolate cocoa. Then he poured a tub of sour cream into his bowl.
The silence was uncomfortable.
He studied me a moment. “You don’t want to talk about it, do you?”
I smiled to let him know I wasn’t mad that he was being nosy. But, still, I’m sure the hurt in my eyes showed. And my tight lip showed I just didn’t want to discuss it with him.
“Now let me just mix the wet with the dry ingredients.” He poured his bowl into mine. “Now just mix those together good, Cashmere.”
I nodded.
See, the thing was, I was mad as hell at my mom. She did us wrong and had been doing us wrong for months. It had been a good seven months, and I still hadn’t heard from her. And, deep down, despite the shit I talked about her to Desiree, part of me wanted her to come back. I wanted us to be a family like we used to be. I thought about the old days all of the time, and to be honest, I missed Mama. So my love and my desire to see her seemed to dominate all the anger I had, and the anger I tried to build up against loving and missing her. My damn heart won, I guess.
From the corner of my eye I watched Caesar walk over to the sink and wash his hands. He then stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me on my cheek. “I didn’t mean to make you sad, Cashmere.”
I smiled to show him I was okay and that I wasn’t mad at him.
Mama said never to show a man you were a broken woman. When I asked her what a “broken woman” was, she explained patiently, “A broken woman is someone who goes through shit. Maybe she was hurt at a young age. She could have been abused, raped, molested, felt abandoned, which would have made her bitter and angry, and therefore broken. ’Cause the world, including men, could see it and couldn’t love her because of it. That’s why they can’t keep a man. Mable Curtis—broken and single.” Mable was her friend. “Carolyn Porter—broken and single. Can’t keep a man for shit.” She was also a friend of Mama’s. “But don’t worry, Cash, none of those things are gonna happen to you, so you don’t have to worry about ever being broken.”
She sure predicted wrong, but I was determined not to let the shit I had already felt because of her break me. I wanted to be able to keep Caesar. It would kill me to lose him.
His arms tightened around my waist, pulling me from my thoughts and putting my attention back on him.
“The thing is, I was asking about your mom because, see, my parents are having a dinner party, and I wanted you to attend. It’s only right that I ask your mother’s permission.”
I turned around and hugged him before he got the rest out, and he laughed and hugged me back.
See, Desiree, you don’t know what the hell you talking about. Caesar cares about me. That shit Desiree was drilling in my head all this time was just bullshit. No man would bring a woman home to his parents that he didn’t care about.
This had to mean he was sincere about being with me.
He patted my butt and said, “All right, let’s finish up.”
“Right.”
After I unraveled myself out of his arms, he pulled me back into his arms and kissed me, but it was different from the usual kisses. He slipped his tongue in my mouth, and it made my heart rate speed up. I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t want to look stupid. I was the girl who backed her damn near naked ass up in clubs and couldn’t even French-kiss?
“Relax.”
I tried to follow his lead in the kiss, but in all honesty, I didn’t have experience to compare with. But my young intuition told me Caesar either wasn’t the best teacher or the best kisser. Maybe he was bad at both, but I still liked him. I ended up with slobber all over my mouth, and his dick poking into my waist.
He pecked me one last time and slid his fingers down to my waist. “You gonna always be my girl.”
I looked up at him with wide eyes and asked in a little girl voice I hated, “You mean that?”
He traced my bottom lip with one of his fingers. “Yeah, I mean that. I’m gonna always take good care of you, Cashmere. I’m not going to ever hurt you ever. And I’m gonna make sure no one else will as well.”
My hold tightened on him, as he stroked up and down my arms.
“Okay,” he said, “let’s put that baby in the oven.”
After a tiring day, Caesar drove me home in his new car. He said his dad bought it for him after he had gotten accepted to Grambling. Usually I wanted him to walk me home so we had more time to spend together, but I was so tired from work. And, plus, I was in a hurry to share the news that Caesar had invited me to his parents’ house for dinner, and maybe in a bigger hurry to get there just to rub it in her face.
I warned him not to get involved with any of those college chickens.
“Don’t worry. As soon as I get into the fraternity, I’m sending you my sweater.
“Fra who?”
“I’m pledging for Gamma. My daddy was one, so he expects me to be one.”
“Do you want to be?” I asked.
He seemed like he was examining the question like he’d never thought about it. Maybe no one had ever asked him before.
“Yeah, I guess.”
I stroked his head.
“I just have to pledge.”
“You’ll get in. I know it.”
He turned to me and smiled.
When he pulled up to my aunt’s house, I didn’t want to leave the comfort of his car.
“Can I have one more kiss?”
“You sure can.” I leaned over and kissed him, my eyes closed. I was really into it, learning how to use my tongue and trying to maneuver my lips so he didn’t deliver so much saliva into my mouth.
He abruptly broke the kiss.
“What?”
He was looking behind me. “It’s the same house I dropped you off at last time, right? ’Cause if it is, something is happening, baby.”
Through the windows of my aunt’s house, I saw her throw something that busted out a window. “Oh shit.” I opened the car door and ran up the steps and into the house.
My auntie was struggling with my uncle, who was buck-ass naked. “Get the fuck off me, you bastard! And get the fuck out of my house!”
I almost laughed at his wrinkled ass. When I heard Caesar’s feet behind me, I placed a hand up, telling him silently not to enter.
Aunt Ruby swung at Uncle Byron, knocking him into the coffee table. He hit his head and lay sprawled out, his dick dangling back and forth and a milky liquid leaking from it.
I turned away disgusted. Then a sinking feeling hit me. No, she couldn’t have. “Auntie, what happened?’
She spun around quickly. “What happened, Cashmere? I’ll show you what happened.” She pulled me by my hand to me and my sister’s room.
I looked over my shoulder at Caesar, who looked confused and concerned from the porch. “I’ll be back,” I told him. I shrugged ’cause I was just as confused as he was.
Aunt Ruby barged in our room and pulled me with her. “This is what happened! This slut was fucking my husband in my own house. And, bitch, like I said, Get out! Get out! You got five more seconds to pack your shit!”
I looked at Desiree with a shocked expression that asked her silently, “How the fuck could you?”
Desiree gave me a glance that said she was sorry then changed her sorry expression to a malicious one, twisting her mouth to one side and rolling her eyes at our aunt. “Shit, he came after me and he was willing to pay. Shit, I don’t want your man. Don’t trip.”
“After I give y’all whores a home, this is how you repay me?”
Desiree tossed a bag my way. “Cash, I packed your shit too.”
I shook my head. “What? I’m not leaving, Desiree. I’m staying.”
My aunt turned to me. “I want both of you out.”
“We’ll be out, bitch.”
Aunt Ruby took a step toward her.
A naked Desiree stood and balled her fist, fire in her eyes. “Touch me, bitch, and get fucked up like my mom used to whip on you!”
Aunt Ruby stepped back.
“Aunt,” I whispered.
“I want you both out!” She turned on her heel and marched out of the room.
“Don’t judge me. I needed the money, since you giving me that bullshit you made at the café. He offered, so I took it.”
“So you tricking now?”
“Shut up, Cashmere, and let’s go.” Desiree zipped her duffel bag with her shit and rushed out. “Bye, bitch!” she yelled.
I walked out the house slowly behind her.
My aunt didn’t reply. She just rocked back and forth in her chair. And despite how mean she was to us and how bad she made living with her, I felt bad for her. She just did, after all, catch her husband cheating red-handed. Her pride and joy, the man she boasted about at her card games with her friends and constantly brought up in her phone conversations, and always found a way to praise him on being a great husband, father, and lover, when all her other friends either complained about what a piece-of-shit man they had, how their men wouldn’t stop hitting them, cheating on them, or commit to them. Or some just complained because they just didn’t have one. Now she was sitting in a chair crying her eyes out. But don’t get me wrong, she was going to take him back. He’d already cheated on her before. But, still, to see her hurt, I was hurting. I couldn’t imagine that happening to me and Caesar.
“I hope everything gets better, Auntie. And I’m sorry for your pain.” I tried to pat her hand, but when she saw my hand moving toward hers, she snatched hers away and rested both her hands on her lap.
I smiled tightly and said, “Thanks for letting us stay here.”
“Cashmere, come on. Damn! Your man said he would drive us to a hotel.”
I walked out of the house, and down the porch steps to Caesar, who had just helped my sister in the back seat and was rushing to open the passenger door for me to get in.
Broken woman, I thought. I gave him the best smile I could manage, but the truth was, I was worried out of my mind. I didn’t feel comfortable or happy about leaving my aunt’s house. There was no telling where we would be now, and since my sister wasn’t the most reliable person any damn way, I knew we were going to be in some shit.
I snapped on my seat belt and took a deep breath when I felt my eyes tear up. Before Caesar could make it back into his seat, I wiped them away quickly and glared in the rearview mirror at my trifling-ass sister. This bitch’s scandalousness had no gotdamn fucking limit!
I squeezed Caesar’s arm as he made a U-turn and drove past our aunt’s home. The whole time, watching my sister in the mirror.
“Stop fucking looking at me like that!” Desiree yelled.
“Like what?” I yelled back.
“Like I’ma—”
“A what?” I continued to eye her in the mirror like one would look at shit on the back of their shoe, hoping it would make her ass feel bad.
“You know what? Fuck it!”
“Yeah, let’s . . .” I held off on what I wanted to say.
Desiree crossed her arms around her chest and stared out the side window. I hoped her ass was freezing in that skimpy-ass summer dress she wore.
“You ain’t perfect, Cash,” Desiree said, her head rocking back and forth with every word. “That’s all I got to say.”
I finally turned around and faced her. “You sure?”
“Sure about what?”
“That that’s all you have to say?”
“Oh, you trying to get smart and shit.” I tossed a hand at her.
“Forget it, Desiree, just forget it.”
“I know what you thinking. You ain’t gotta say it. It’s all over your little face. You thinking I’m a ho because I slept with our uncle.”
Caesar coughed, and his eyes widened, but he kept them on the road. I closed mine briefly, embarrassed out of my mind. “That’s what you thinking, ain’t it? Or some shit like that? But sometimes you gots ta do what you gotta do.”
“Yeah,” I mumbled, “but not with family. You have to draw the line somewhere, don’t you?”
“Shut the fuck up! You don’t know shit, with your young, dumb ass.”
I know you ain’t shit, I thought to myself. Finally she silenced her mouth. Desiree had a way of pissing me the hell off ’cause she didn’t know how to stop.
Caesar rubbed my thigh, and I smiled at him again. “Make a right here, boyfriend-in-law,” she spat out nastily, crossing her arms under her chest and twisting her head to one side.
When he did, she told him, “Now pull into that motel.” I cringed inside when I got a look at the place.
“Desiree, here? This place looks horrible!”
I cried, my eyes wide.
“Well, shit, Cashmere, I ain’t eighteen until next month, and I know the manager here. It’s the best that I can do for now, so shut up.”
“How?”
She didn’t answer until she opened her door, stepped out, and poked her head in my face. “How what?”
“How you know him?”
“We just cool, Cash, that’s all. Stop asking me questions that are not your business.”
I gritted my teeth as she sashayed away to the office. I leaned over and kissed Caesar. “I’ll see you tomorrow after school, okay.”
He chased after me as I got out of his car and tugged both me and my sister’s bags. “Cashmere, are you sure you’re okay here?”
I dropped Desiree’s bag and reached up to stroke his cheek. “You so sweet, worrying about me. I’m so lucky to have a boyfriend like you, Caesar. I hope you know that.”
He kissed my hand and said, “I know it. But, baby, I’m worried about you.”
“Don’t be. If me and my sister are anything, we are some survivors, and we’ll be okay. I’ll be at work tomorrow, so you don’t have to worry.” I tiptoed and gave him a peck.
Desiree strolled up to us and yelled, “Hey, dude, get your ass off my fourteen-year-old sister.”
Caesar dropped his hands immediately, but I waved her away and put them back around my waist.
“No, I need to get home before Mother starts to worry about me.”
My sister mocked him. “ ‘Before Mother starts to worry about me’? Nigga, where you from?”
He ignored her, waved at me, and got into his car and drove away.
After his car vanished, I asked,” What room is it?”
“Girl, they gave us the honeymoon suite!”
Desiree bumped her booty into mine. Whenever she did that, I would laugh and say, “Girl, watch that bone ’cause we all know you ain’t got no rump and that bone hurts.” And she would laugh and say, “But I got titties.”
“Come on, Cash, you ain’t gonna say it?”
“Say what?”
“You know. Say it, Cash. Please, say it!”
I repeated the line in a flat voice. “Girl, watch that bone ’cause we all know you ain’t got no rump and that bone hurts.”
She laughed. “But I got titties! Girl, you still crazy.”
And despite the situation and my anger, I laughed alongside her as we went to our honeymoon suite.
Chapter 13
Caesar said to wear something conservative, so I pulled out a linen dress I wore last Easter, one that dropped to my knees.
Since Desiree was trying to be on my good side, she painted my nails, toenails, and did my hair in a pretty style for me. She said, “You look real good, Cashmere, honestly.”
I bit my bottom lip and studied myself in the cracked mirror in the bathroom. “Just make sure you remember all that stuff Mama taught you.”
I turned around and gave her a funny look. “Mama ain’t taught me shit.”
“Well, Daddy sure did, ’cause you know one thing he had a problem with, and that was not having proper table etiquette, and presenting ourselves like young ladies.”
I nodded. That, I was cool with. But what if they had other questions for me? Questions I wasn’t just ready to answer.
Desiree read my thoughts. “Your daddy is an accountant, and your mother is a nurse.”
“Okay.” I took a deep breath. I wondered if Caesar would be okay with me lying to his parents.
The knock on the hotel room made me jump. I gave myself one last glance in the mirror. From the corner of my eye, I saw Desiree switch to the door and open it. What was up with the switching? Like Caesar wasn’t what he was—my damn man!
She stood in front of the door, and pulled it open, her hands on her hips.
“Hello, sexy.”
“Hi. Is Cashmere here?”
Before she could say anything else, I rushed to the door and shoved her ass out of the way and went straight into Caesar’s arms. “Hey.” I slipped my hands in his, and we walked to our car.
Desiree smacked her teeth. “Here we go with this lovejones bullshit,” she muttered.
When I looked back, I caught Desiree spying on us from the hotel window. I ignored her and sat in the passenger seat, careful not to wrinkle my dress.