by Shandi Boyes
Ten little fingers and ten little toes was all it took for me to know that I couldn’t destroy the baby I had created with Nick.
I was already having doubts the instant he left the cabin and attacked my car with a baseball bat. That car used to be my pride and joy, a gift of love that my dad had given me for my eighteen birthday. Now it symbolised everything my mom was holding over my head to force me to get an abortion. I haven’t seen my mom since the day she arrived at my apartment two weeks ago. When I arrived at the airport Friday morning, she had sent Maria to pick me up in my car. I dropped Maria off at the front gate of my parent’s house before I went to pick up Emily.
After Noah took Nick to a hotel, he stormed angrily towards me. I had never seen Noah angry and I was shocked and hurt when he told me I was being selfish and shallow. When Emily defended me, Noah’s dark eyes stared at her and narrowed before he stormed off into the main bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Emily murmured a quick apology before she went rushing after him. When Slater walked into the room with Kylie, he looked over at me and offered me a small smile. When he noticed the tears streaming down my face he turned towards Kylie and whispered something to her, before he came and sat next to me. He pulled me in close to his chest and I sobbed that much his shirt became wet with my tears.
“I tried to warn you, but you didn’t bloody listen” he whispered as he ran his hands down my hair, offering me comfort.
The next afternoon when I walked out of the cabin, I was surprised to see that all the glass on my car had been replaced. It looked like it did before Nick had attacked it. My confused gaze turned towards Marcus and Slater that were sitting on the porch and they both shrugged their shoulders and shook their head, indicating that they were not aware of who organised the repairs.
When I left the cabin, I drove straight to my Aunt Dee’s house. I told her everything that was happening and she offered for me to stay with her for as long as I needed. She even suggested for me to finish my hairdressing apprenticeship at her salon. I initially laughed at her offer until the reality of the situation dawned on me. I am most likely going to be living off food stamps for the rest of my life. I will barely be able to afford to feed a baby, let alone clothe one.
The instant I failed to show up to my appointment Monday morning, my credit cards, phone and car repayments were all cancelled. My car ended up being towed the following Friday. Because my Aunt is old school, I had to rely on using her home phone to stay in contact with people. Emily constantly enquired as to what I was going to do about the baby. I couldn’t give her an answer, as I myself didn’t know what I was planning on doing.
It was my Aunt that convinced me not to make a final decision until I went to see a doctor. She organised an appointment at a local obstetrician and I begged Emily to come with me. The day before my appointment, I was talking to Slater and I ended up letting it slip about seeing Nick kiss a girl in front of the recording studio. Slater breathed heavily down the phone and cursed before he eventually told me that what I had seen wasn’t as it appeared. He explained that when Marcus told Nick that someone was there to visit him, he went and spied on him, wanting to know who Nick was in love with. He watched as the girl threw herself into Nick’s arm and he told me that Nick pulled her off him and rushed back inside, appearing startled.
“Even though he wasn’t cheating that time, doesn’t mean you should trust him” Slater advised sternly.
Slater’s words were still playing through my mind when I was sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office. But the instant I spotted our baby on the screen, I knew without a doubt in my mind that I was keeping it.
I wanted to go and tell Nick in person and just hoped that he would be able to forgive me for everything I had put him through. My Aunt had to overdraw her credit card to be able to purchase me a ticket. When I arrived at the hotel Emily had told me the band was staying at, the hotel desk clerk tried to tell me that no band by that name was staying at their hotel. When I asked if she had a Nicholas Holt staying, she angrily rolled her eyes before checking the screen.
“No, no Nicholas Holt, no Rise Up, no Noah Taylor. We do not have any of those names staying at our hotel” she instructed firmly. I don’t know the reason she needed to be so rude. I really can’t stand people that are in customer service jobs and appear to hate customers.
“Can I borrow your phone?” I question, since my cell phone is cancelled I have no way of contacting Emily to make sure I had written down the correct hotel.
“There is a payphone out on the footpath” she advises angrily, before answering the phone that is ringing loudly on her desk.
I bend down and collect my bag from the floor to make my way outside. As soon as I turn around, I spot Nick running towards me. I freeze, as a trail of goose bumps form on the back of my neck. He stops running and stands in front of me. His dark blue eyes staring attentively into mine. My eyes can’t help but to roam over his body. He is wearing his normal ripped jeans and a light blue polo shirt. His jawline is covered with stubble that appears to be a few days old. He looks tired and confused, but he still makes my heart race and my palms sweat.
“No one else” I whisper while silently praying that he still wants me.
“No one else” he responds loudly, triggering a rush of moisture to gather in my eyes and a smile to form on my face. He rushes towards me and engulfs me. His warm lips and his tongue, that is laced with whiskey, nearly brings me to my knees.
“There has never been anyone bar you” he whispers when he slowly pulls away from my lips, causing a slight whimper to escape my mouth.
****
Later that evening, I am snuggled in against Nick’s bare chest. The hotel room Nick is staying in is nice but pretty basic. There are two queens beds on one wall and a small kitchenette on the other. The bathroom is small but adequate, although the bright red tiles on the walls is a little bit of an overkill.
I hadn’t paid much attention to the room when we first entered. I was too busy getting my fill of Nick and we barely made inside the room before I nearly stripped him naked. He slowly teased and tortured me until I practically begged him to take me. When he made his way back up my body, he placed a trail of kisses along the way. Once he reached my stomach he placed a few extra kisses on my non-existent bump, making my heart melt. I had to convince him that there was no chance the baby would be harmed by having sex. It was only when I stated that he didn’t need to use protection anymore did he finally succumb to my pleads.
“My rule breaker” he moaned softly when he entered me for the very first time completely bare. I also think that was the very first time Nick has ever made love.
I snuggle in closer to Nick’s chest as my gaze continues to roam over the room. I notice that there is a wallet and a set of keys sitting on the other bedside table. My confused gaze turns up to look at Nick.
“Are you sharing a room?” I question. The instant the words escape my lips, Nick starts laughing softly. I slowly lift my head from his chest and look at him confused, while slightly smiling. I can’t help it; Nick’s laugh is infectious.
“I completely forgot” he murmurs while jumping out of the bed.
He sends a text message on his phone, before he quickly gathers my clothing from around the room. I slowly get dressed as I watch Nick put on his jeans commando style. Once he checks that I am fully covered he walks over to the door. My cheeks heat when Slater walks into the room. When he notices me sitting on the bed, he freezes half way into the room. I run my hand down my hair, trying to tame my unruly locks. Slater chuckles as he walks over to the bedside table and collects his wallet and keys.
On his way back out of the room, he stops just to the side of Nick. He says something to him quietly that I can’t quite make out. Nick swallows harshly before he nods his head. Once Slater exits the room, I flop against the bed, dying of embarrassment. Slater has always been like a big brother to me and I am mortified that he just walked into a room that has the aroma of s
ex filtering through the air.
Nick chuckles at my response before he flops on the bed next to me. When I turn to face him, he runs his hand gently down my cheek.
“I thought I was the only one that made you all flustered” he advises while his eyes roam over my face.
“You are” I respond, staring into his eyes. “These are my embarrassed cheeks” I inform, causing him to smile brightly.
“I’m sure he has witnessed worse” Nick chuckles. I stiffen slightly at his comment. I am pretty sure Slater has witnessed much worse. Especially considering the fact that he walked in on Nick having sex with his girlfriend. When Nick notices my reaction to his playful banter, his pupils dilate.
“You know, don’t you?” he questions roughly. I gently nod my head while turning my gaze to face the ceiling. That was one of the main reasons I tried to stay away from Nick at the start. I knew he was a player, but the fact that he could do that to his own friend made me wonder what type of guy he really was.
“I was young and stupid”
“Your age isn’t an excuse Nick, what you did to him was wrong” I interrupt.
“I know” he replies softly. “I’ve tried to make it up to him” he continues. I turn my gaze back to look at him and I can see in his eyes that he is sorry for what he did to Slater.
“Have you ever said you were sorry?” I question. Sometimes that is all a person needs to hear. His eyebrows lower as he slowly shakes his head.
“Maybe that is a good place to start” I inform.
Chapter 34
Nick
To be honest, I had never really consider what Slater must have gone through when he walked in on me fucking Nikki. I had always seen it that I was doing him a favor. But after seeing Jenni kissing Christian, I realise that I must have put him through hell. Saying sorry just doesn’t seem like it would be enough. But, I guess what Jenni is saying is true, it is a start.
“I’ll talk to him” I advise, while staring into her light blue eyes. She smiles softly before rolling over to snuggle closer into my side.
“I knew you weren’t all bad” she whispers softly into my ear. Her breath fanning my earlobe causes my dick to stiffen. I quickly roll over on top of her, ensuring that I hold my own weight with my arms as I don’t want to crush the baby.
“Only bad for you” I reply while waggling my eyebrows. Jenni’s soft giggles soon become muffled when my mouth covers hers.
Going bareback for the second time was just as thrilling as the first. I fully plan on ditching condoms forever. I might need to get a good health plan with how many kids Jenni is going to popping out. When I said that to her, her face looked mortified.
“You can say that, as you’re not the one with your head in the toilet all day” she explains. I had noticed that Jenni has lost a few pounds the last month. Her already slender frame has a few more bones protruding than normal.
“Have you been to the doctors?” I question concerned. I have no clue how this whole pregnancy thing works, but she can’t afford to lose any more weight.
“Yes” she exclaims excitedly, before she dives off the bed. “I completely forgot to show you” she continues as she rushes towards the small suitcase she was carrying earlier. I move and sit on the edge of the bed we had just been making love on.
Jenni happily grabs something out of her purse and excitedly walks over to hand it to me. I look down at the little black and white photo. My head turns and I spin the picture, trying to work out what I am looking at. It just appears to be blobs of black and white static.
“What is it?” I eventually ask, since I have no clue at what this print out is. Jenni giggles softly while nudging me with her shoulder.
“It’s our baby” she advises softly when she sits down next to me and leans her chin on my shoulder. Her eyes glossing over as she looks at the image in my hand. I turn my eyes down to look at the picture once again. Nothing in this picture resembles a baby to me. When Jenni notices my confused face, she giggles softly before she leans over and points at the picture.
“That’s the head, body and those little things sticking out there are the legs” she advises as she points to different things. When I squint, I can nearly make out the things she is stating.
“It must be a boy” I advise, when I point to a long thing in the middle of the legs she just pointed out. She laughs loudly as she snatches the photo out of my hand.
“That’s the umbilical cord” she declares while laughing “I think” she continues as her eyes squint and she looks at the picture more closely. She continues to look at the photo for a few more minutes before she gently places it down.
“What do you think about us having a baby?” she questions softly as her eyebrows slowly pull together.
“I’m scared” I reply causing a deep V to form in the middle of her eyebrows. “Scared of fucking it up” I continue honestly.
The past few weeks I was trying to get over my heartache at loosing Jenni, but the past week I realised I was also devastated at the idea of losing our baby. The idea of having a child always petrified me, until I met Jenni.
“I’m scared too” she confirms softly.
“What have you got to be scared about? You will be a natural” I assure her. I have no doubt she will be a wonderful mother, that is why my panic at becoming a father was lessened this time around.
“I’m scared of our baby growing up alone” she whispers softly, while staring into space. I use my thumb to rub the little V that has formed in between her eyes, triggering her eyes to turn back to looking at me.
“It won’t grow up alone, it will always have us” I inform confidently. Jenni smiles softly, before she gently nods her head.
She ended up telling me about how she found out her dad isn’t really her dad. My heart broke for her when I saw the devastation in her eyes. She said she wasn’t upset that he wasn’t her biological dad as she could have never asked for a better dad. But she was upset because he had lied to her for years and that he hasn’t even attempted to contact her the past month to reconcile with her.
“He’ll come around” I inform while pulling her into my chest for comfort.
****
He never came around. Jenni hasn’t heard from her parents in months. She stayed at the hotel with me until we finished the radio tour on the West Coast. When we returned home, I begged her to move into my dad’s house with me. She was hesitant to start with until my dad convinced her that he would appreciate the company. My dad took to Jenni just like everyone else does. I think he may even like her a little more than he likes me. For the first few weeks’ dad use to drive Jenni into town to collect groceries and to take her to her doctors’ appointments when I was on the road. But it was pretty apparent that she was going to need to replace her car if we continued to live in the middle of the bush.
Her smile when she saw the little matchbox car I had brought her was priceless. I always thought she loved her BMW because of its expensive price tag, but she just loved it for the independence it gave her. That little car cost me my whole first royalty cheque, but it was worth every single penny when I saw the look on her face.
I took Jenni’s advice and I apologized to Slater. It was one of the most awkward and uncomfortable conversations I have ever had in my life. Did he eventually accept my apology? Yeah he did. Things between us are still a little rough, but we are getting there.
I was right about the thing I saw dangling between our baby’s legs. We are having a little boy. All I have to say about that is, thank fuck! I know what guys are like and if we were having a daughter, I would have brought a gun, just to ensure she stayed away from guys like me. Jenni’s morning sickness started to ease as the weeks went on and now she eats anything she can get her hands on. She has managed to gain back those few pounds she lost at the start and added a few extra on as well. She is afraid about her small weight gain, but I am loving it. Her hips are a little bigger and her tits have grown substantially. It’s the perfect combination
to her petite frame, giving her an appealing hourglass figure.
I have just returned home after our latest stint in Los Angeles. Two of our songs off our album are rocketing up the charts and we have been inundated with interview requests and have been performing live on morning breakfast shows and at radio gigs. I hate leaving Jenni every time we have to go to an event, but I am lucky that she is home during the weekdays so I still get a chance to see her when I am not ‘working’.
Noah doesn’t seem to be handling it that well though. We spend a majority of our weekends doing gigs and that is the only time Emily has off school. I was shocked this past weekend when he openly flirted with a girl right in front of me. I wanted to tell him to pull his head in, but then I realised I get to see Jenni every time I am home, so I have no clue what he is going through.
The endorsement checks slowly flowed in that I had managed to put away enough money for a deposit on a house. The loan for our house isn’t being funded by a bank, it is being funded by my brother. The bank manager took one look at me in my ripped jeans and shirt and rejected my application. I’ll be sure to remember him when I am rolling in money. It was only when I mentioned his dismissal to Isaac did he offer to borrow us the money to buy a house.